TTC and still breastfeeding? Graduate Thread #1

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A home for all you bfp ladies to share your happy, uncomfortable and worried moments in your next pregnancy but most importantly start dreaming about your next bf journey Can't wait to join you soon xx

Yay congratulations pear!!! I'm so happy you finally got your BFP - I'd been lurking on the TTC thread and saw you'd taken a break from it, and was hoping you'd be back to update withhappy news soon. Hooray! And early Sept is a great time to have a birthday 😊

Congrats on your DD Duchess! Hope the afterpains subside soon - they sound horrible. Glad bf is going well though.

I'm 26 weeks now and starting to feel massive!

I'm so glad this thread has sprung back to life! Congrats duchess pear and all!

I am 17 weeks, still BFing DS, who will be 3 in March. It was a godsend in the first trimester (parenting lying down! Woo hoo!). It had been tailing off slightly before then, but I did encourage it when all I wanted to do was loll.
I'm a bit over BFing now, I think my supply has dried up, and it's uncomfortable and oddly annoying at the mo. We are down to just a quick feed at bedtime, and I'm totally clueless as to how to give that up. DS goes to sleep fine if I'm not there, but if I'm in the house he really does want his milk mum to drop off. ellie, I had hoped he'd lose interest once my supply dropped too, but no such luck!

Any tips from those further down the line much appreciated...

Ispy here under a new name! Congrats Duchess! God I remember the after pains now you mention it, they do get worse after each baby so dreading it with #4. Im 24 weeks now and my milk has definitely dried up and has been for a while. Ds 26mo not put off though and ow is it sore! He is asking for cows milk more but still insists on nursing to sleep and throughout the night. I'm torn between trying to wean (would love a half decent nights sleep before the next one arrives!) and just pushing through til my milk comes back and see how we get on with tandeming. Dh not keen on the tandeming idea but I'm not sure we'll manage weaning even if we try!

Ispy that's how I feel too! I'm finally ready to wean now, after 34 months, but I have no clue how to go about it. I don't have the heart to fight over it, especially as there is such a huge change coming.
How did your older kids wean? I feel very clueless.
DP is totally supportive of me, whichever way I decide (he reckons my boobs, my choice). I think whether we wean now or not, we are likely to end up tandeming, as I can't imagine DS not wanting milk when the new arrival has some!

Ha yes I do feel that we might go to the effort of weaning only for him to start up again anyway! I fed my older two for 20mo and 18mo respectively and while at the time that felt like ages they actually weren't nearly as boob crazy as ds2. They weaned by basically me sleeping on the sofa for a few nights in a row and dh did any soothing at night (co-sleeping) but that'd never work this time! The others were used to me not always being there at night as I worked some shifts at the hospital back then but ds2 has barely left my side in 26months. I don't think he's going to take to the new baby well

Hmmm, DS is fine going to sleep without me if I'm not there (and I've even been away for a few nights at a time on work trips) but will have none of it if I'm in the house. It's Milk Mum or else then.
Maybe I should take myself off on a holiday...

I've been known to say goodbye and pretend to leave the house then sneak to the spare room with a book so ds will go down without me! I always have to come back then when he wakes in the night though as only bf will do

That's genius! Sadly I don't think it would work in our tiny flat. Maybe next door would let me lurk at theirs... I think I'm going to start talking about big boys not having milk mum with him over the weekend. Not that it's likely to have much effect.

I'm in awe of you functioning whilst pregnant and running after 3 kids including a toddler, I'm wiped with just one to keep up with...

My older kids are 9 and 11yrs so they actually help with chasing the toddler, I definitely couldn't manage 3 little ones! I'm feeling rather teary this evening, dh told me he really thinks we should wean asap although will leave the final decision to me obviously. He's right in that it'd be easier to do now, particularly as I have no milk, than in a few months when the baby is here and feeding too. While there are huge benefits to weaning the thought of not feeding him anymore makes me sad! On a happier note, I went to the doctors today for a lump under my arm so obviously it was relevant to say I was pregnant and breastfeeding. I was anxious about the appointment and had armed myself with info confirming it was safe to bf in pregnancy etc.... but the doctor interrupted me to say 'Well Done!'

That's a great response from the doctor! I've been feeling pretty coy about mentioning it to the medical profession too.
Ouf, that sounds like such a tricky conversation with your DH. In a way it already seems too late to wean before the next baby, there is no way that my DS is not going to remember and want milk when the new arrival sets to. Or maybe not, they never cease to surprise, funny little people that they are.

Have you got the Adventures in tandem nursing book? It made me think tandeming would work fine for us, but actually it's this bit I don't like. I feel really annoyed throughout the feed, and often sore, and just want to listen to my body and call it a day. But I don't want to have a big fight over it. The post Xmas knackeredness has meant at bedtime has been a bit of a battle this week already!

Ps- Google informs me that according to the almanac, from now until the 13th is an especially good time to wean calves and babies. Make of that what you will!

Yes I've borrowed the Adventures in Tandem Feeding book from my local LLL which made me feel better about tandem feeding as I was feeling panicked about the practicalities of feeding 2 at night and positioning. I've spent most of this evening making dh read bits of it too! I think we'll proceed with making a bit more of an effort to night wean but only if it's not too traumatic for any of us. Will give it to the 13th then 😂 Remind me when you're due Grubby?

I'm due in June, so I'm a bit behind you I think, 18 weeks along now.
I've stopped all breastmilk except for bedtime... And DS has come down with his first ever chesty cough. Argh! I really don't think he was actually extracting any milk, so there cannot possibly have been much in the way of antibodies being passed through, but I feel very guilty nonetheless.

Are you going to talk about weaning to your DS? I haven't dared to yet, but if I'm really going to do it, I think I should.

Oh your poor ds, I'm sure it's just coincidence though! My ds wouldn't really understand the concept of weaning but he totally gets 'mama milk all gone' so that's what I've been saying and he is usually content with a bottle I know he's far too old to be introducing one now but I'm not sure how else we could go about it as he still needs to suckle to sleep. So last night was the first time since he was born that he didn't feed in the night. It's been 24 hrs since last bf. I thought I'd be overjoyed but I'm devastated and keep crying today! Even from my post a couple of days ago I didn't think he'd accept this and was committed to tandeming, I'm not ready for weaning even if he is!

Oh iSpy I really feel for you! That's amazing that it just seems to be happening quite easily but also so shocking. I've not had the guts to get on with it yet. I think I'll be the same as you though. It's such a lovely closeness, and such a big milestone!

Did you get more sleep last night? More sleep seems quite a big incentive. DS sleeps through the night pretty reliably, it's just bedtime for us.

This whole having another baby doesn't half shake things up, even before they've arrived!!

I think I was slightly in denial that another baby is actually on the way, it's so hard to imagine. I think it needed dh to remind me how demanding newborns are and that it'd be easier all round if ds was weaned now. Last night was not as easy as the night before as ds woke several times rather than just once but he still settled fairly easily with the bottle each time.

YES! I keep sort of forgetting that I'm pregnant which feels a bit weird.

Re newborns, I spent the first fortnight with DS in bed breastfeeding him, and I can't help thinking that tandeming is the only way I'm going to get anything near that this time. I have no clue how I'd have made it through first trimester knackeredness without being able to breastfeed DS.
Ugh, I don't know. I've had enough of it, but don't know how I'm going to manage without it!

Who is settling your DS in the night with the bottle? If not you, can you go and stay at a friends overnight and have an amazing sleep? Is it still all very emotional? All the hormones wooshing about can't be helping!!! I really feel for you!

How was you night ISpy?
We are holed up with the calpol today. I may yet crack and go back on the daytime weaning...

I keep crying! Only half of it is rational, the rest must be hormones, I hear weaning depression is quite common. Luckily ds will settle for me or dh with the bottle but last night it didn't work and I ended up feeding him, first time in over 2 days! I think we'll proceed like this, always offering the bottle first and distraction during the day but bf if he actually gets really upset and just hope it continues to be infrequent enough to break the nighttime bf association. With 2 older ones I know I won't get that honeymoon period just feeding the newborn in bed all day sadly but I worry how I'll manage ds nap times as I won't want to be dragging them both out in the car! Hope your lo feels better soon and don't feel bad if you go back on daytime weaning or whatever goals you may have set yourself, I'm learning ta weaning isn't a linear process.

*that

Mostly bottle and the odd boob sounds very good to me- after all, you are not trying to knock out your supply or anything! Even if the odd boob is actually for you!!!!
I remember reading somewhere that acknowledging the grief is really important, and making space for the weeping. it's a big transition for everyone involved!
Are you getting lots of hugs and looking after? The advice of extra cuddles to help with the transition has got to go for mums not just littlies, right?
I'm not going to try to cut back on bedtime boob until DS is a bit better, I think. One thing at a time (although a very silly part of me is quite worried about missing the almanac cut off on the 13th- superstitious, moi??)

How is it going ispy? Nothing to report here, we are still beset by the lurgy...

Going well here I think, I'm feeling much less emotional about it all now. I was largely upset by the fact that I had been scared to get too close to ds incase he wanted milk so was having virtually no contact with him but he isn't really asking for milk anymore and I'm getting lots of snuggles instead I'm still not happy about it not being totally child led weaning but my LLL leader made me feel that gentle weaning was a gift to ds and he does indeed seem to be fine with it. I'm secretly hoping he'll come back for the odd bf once bubs is here but I'll be glad not to be doing it all night long! How's things with you Grubby?

Oh I'm glad it's going more smoothly! I've been thinking of you! We've not made much progress, it's been calpol all week, and yesterday the lurgy morphed into an ear infection, so DS actually spent most of the afternoon on the boob. He claims there is still milk coming out, and his ear had pretty much stopped hurting by bedtime, so maybe there are still antibodies coming through, who knows.
Magic breakthrough this week though- he is calling for his dad when he wakes up in the night, and very easy to settle with a kiss and a goodnight! This with no intervention at all, so maybe weaning is kind of happening.
I'm not sure I'd be up for entirely child led weaning, from what I've read it happens between ages 2 and 7, which I am not sure I have the chops for. But it doesn't feel right to force it, does it? Ho hum...

Wow that is a magical breakthrough! I'm amazed how well ds settles during the night too, he definitely wouldn't have been up for that even a month ago so I guess he is ready. That's the thing with totally child led weaning, the not knowing when it would happen. I'd have been happy to keep feeding for longer but not necessarily 3-4years longer so it would probably have ended up being parent led at some point anyway. I do miss bf him though and really hope he doesn't get poorly any time soon!
I think I read somewhere in the Adventures in Tandem Nursing book that toddlers are notorious for fibbing about milk still coming out