Second or subsequent babies due Jan/Feb/March 2016

[Raeside]

Hiya - just thought an alternative place for those of us on our 2nd or more pregnancies might be a good idea. I just found out and already it's very different than the first time!

I'm on #2, EDD 25/3/16, one DS 2yrs and 2 months.

Oooo, I disappear for the day and miss so much, gotta catch up now.

I had to tell my manager on Sat.

Swore him to secrecy at the moment, until I'm back off hols.

Had to tell my parents today, I'm mid twenties and they make me feel like I'm 12 again....please say I'm not the only one who feels like that with their parents.

huffle are your parents very shocked that despite what happened last time you have had sex again?!

My Mum can't deal with anything that remotely hints that I might be sexually active, despite being mid-30s and married with a child.

I tried to talk to her (I was drunk) about my concerns as we had been trying for baby 2 for a while. Flustered isn't the word. 'just don't think about it' was her sage escape line advice.

Yes LastOne, I'm their baby girl I can't have sex.

You sure your mum isn't related to mine? seems like they have the same thoughts

There's a six year age gap, surely by now they would of realised another would come along. Least I waited this long.

Their main concern is the big family holiday they are organising for next year. If they even consider taking dd away for 3 weeks to the other side of the world without me I will go full blown hormonal in them!

How is everyone today?

I find telling people the worst bit of it - I get stupidly embarrassed because it's totally evidence you've been shagging. Oooooh shagging. Drunk shagging, mostly, too. Double jeopardy.

But I did want to ask your advice. We have two couples, very close friends, one who had a miscarriage last October and hasn't been able to conceive since, starts IVF next month all going well, and another who had a tragic loss at 21 weeks (had to go through labour, the shebang) last June and again not yet conceived. I think actually the second couple mentioned will be ok but I'm really worried about how my friend in the first couple will be. I know to me she will be wonderful but I think it will be really really upsetting for her.

We are all due to go for a bit night out on 1 August and I have been wondering what to do (assuming all still going well my end) - should I just disclose to one of my closest mates who is also friend with the first lady and garner her help in figuring it out? I kind of don't want to tell anyone till they've been through one round of IVF at least....

It's bloody tricky.

Really tricky Rae - there are quite a few threads on here of people asking that question if you have a search.

I think generally the concensus was that people wanted to be told privately and often by email so they could feel the (inevitable) shock, then get their head together before seeing the pregnant person.

I wouldn't get a third party involved I don't think (unless you're just asking her advice).

Thanks LastOne - the person I'd tell is the other girl we were going out with and we are all very close mates so I think maybe I'd enlist her help in cancelling the night (by her, not me) to just give my other friend some time to get on with IVF without having to go through the emotions of it all. I think yes you're right, I'd definitely meet up with her and tell her in person, it's only right to do that. So weird, mostly having feelings of guilt and worry to do with my friend rather than anything else at the moment....

Thanks again.

Well its testament to what a good friend you are that you're trying to be as sensitive to their pain as possible.

I hope telling them goes ok x

The pain of their own individual losses I mean x

Sorry if that came across wrong

Raeside I've got a similar situation, a friend is having her eggs harvested today for IVF. I don't see her that often these days, but we have a mutual friend I will see a fair bit this summer. I'm cowardly hoping her IVF goes well before I have to tell her. And if I do, it'll be by text so she's got time to digest it by herself.

The mutual friend has had a tricky time of it with pregnancies too, but is in a much less acute situation. I'd love to share this with both of them but I think I'll only tell the mutual friend (by text, before I see her) if it's relevant (if I feel like death), though she (they both) guessed quickly last time.

I feel so guilty/lucky. Some people have such difficulties. It's not fair.

It's such a minefield. I mean, we have had to try for 13 months this time around so it's not exactly been an easy trip but yes, it's not involved medical procedures and suchlike beyond the odd blood test.

I think the friend I'm talking about finds it extra hard as there are four of us in the close friendship group and now we all have kids bar her. One of my mates never wanted kids, then decided late she did, got pregnant first go at around the same time as my other friend who miscarried. All so tricky. I must give credit to her though, she's been bloody amazing and thus I think we are all now on her cheerleading team and just all so tense about hoping she gets upduff. The other three of us have said it'd be easier if none of us got pregnant again until she did but it hasn't worked out that way.

Cripes.

It's when I hear stories like this I feel so lucky to have got pregnant the way I did. I can't imagine what it must be feel like to struggle to conceive. I really hope your friend is successful with the IVF raeside and hope it works out ok telling her. As lastone said it shows what a true friend you are by being concerned and sensitive to her feelings.

Cheers rdr - I think it's probably just a natural reaction to feeling concern for a mate.

How is everyone feeling today? No nausea yet for me but I am now usually getting increasingly sore boobs by day's end.

Good afternoon all!

Yes one of my closest friends is going through IVF alone and although she says she wants to know everything, it's hard to know how much to share.

My pregnancy test paranoia has abated, after a digital 1-2 weeks, and a superdrug test darkening between yesterday and today. Am feeling nauseous, heavy-wombed and trying to keep my feet on the ground. Ill probably do a Clearblue plus test today (that was the one that went backwards and caused me to go a bit doolally) to set my mind at rest. Although if you allow yourself to worry, there's always something to worry about isn't there? Their whole lives, probably.

Been looking around spacefem.com, a blog by a scientist which is full of interesting research and tools (under motherhood section mostly I think).

Anyone about to have your second baby (and those who have more actually) how hard is it with an extra one especially during the first few months? My little one will be 2 when new one would get here...cannot imagine her letting me get on with changing baby or staying quiet while he she sleeps!?

Realisation kicked in today that I will have to get a bigger car.
Have a 206cc. Love it to pieces but totally useless with a baby.
Actually had a cry about it.

That's been the total of crazy pregnant lady today.

Aw huffle! My friend cried when she was expecting her first and had to get rid of her Mito!

Shall I tell you what she changed it for?

Hi everyone. Got through toddler bed and bath time (actually quite a good distraction from feeling sick) and now very ready for the sofa. Had booking in session today and v happy with midwife. Discussed vbac/elcs options and she is referring me to a group to discuss it. Still feeling weirdly unexcited compared to last time but I guess that's natural. I worried about telling two friends who were having fertility issues/Ivf. Thankfully and happily before I had the chance they both told me they had some good news...

What did she get indomitable?

The only funky 4-door is a mini countryman surely?

Oooh salted your group sounds great! Hope we have something similar here.

Hiya, is it too late to join this group? I'm 5+1 but not 100% sure of my dates as I had a chemical pregnancy last month. I've already got an 18m old DS and have no idea how I'm going to cope with having two and being on Maternity leave again! Beginning to feel the odd wave of nausea and not enjoying the memories it's bringing back - really feel for those of you who are in the thick of it!

Welcome Deffo!

Hello, can I join the group please?! I'm 4+1 weeks with (what will hopefully be) my third child. I have a 4yr old and a 2yr old already and had a MC in December at 8 weeks. currently due 29th March I think. It's been quite a long road ttc after the MC and just can't quite believe it has happened. So far feeling tired, sore boobs and have a constant horrible taste in my mouth which I think are all good signs (?!) so I'm just trying to keep positive!

Anyway, it's nice to 'meet' everyone and look forward to sharing the journey!

I'm just poking my head in to say hello and keep the thread in my list. I have a scan on Friday where I should be about 11 weeks. I have a sad history of losses that I won't scare everyone with but if he scan goes ok I might feel confident enough to join properly xx

LastOne, er, an old skoda estate! But they're happier with their family than they would have been with just a pretty car!

I've just heard that my friend having IVF had 10 eggs collected today! And the best bit - they're having ICSI due to problems with her DH sperm but the sample given for the IVF was normal! I'm so unbelievably pleased for them! How lucky is that?!

Good luck with your scan Sebs. Hope this one sticks. x