Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for our rainbows

[townsender]

Welcome to the thread, for anyone pregnant with a rainbow baby following baby loss.
A lot of us have graduated from the TTC angels and rainbows thread, but please feel free to join us if you are new, to share our highs and lows as we watch our bumps grow and await the safe arrival of our rainbows.

The current TTC thread is here:
Link

I've just created a secret (!) group on Facebook. If you want to join, send me a PM with your name and I'll add you to it and make you an admin.

kayleigh wishing you all the best for tomorrow, will be thinking of you x x

flambola love secret things

Love the idea of a facebook page, will pm you flambola

Thank you ladies for the well wishes, i've felt rather sick most of today (putting it down to nerves) and am currently hoping i get some sleep tonight.

Will update when i can, love to you all xx

Oh Kayleigh, all the best for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you and your family xxx

I've discovered I can't add you to the group without becoming a friend first, hope that's not a problem. You can delete me once you've joined the group!

flambola possibly going to sound really thick but how do I know who you are to PM you on facebook? Are you on there as FLambola? No idea what to do sorry x

Hi all, once again I seem to have stopped getting the email updates for this thread. So not caught up yet. Hope everyone is well! X

That's not a problem flambola.

Well i'm up, attempting to get some toast down my throat to see if it helps my nervous stomach and then i'll be making sure i've got everything i need.

Love to you all xx

Good luck Kayleigh, I am wishing you a swift birth free from any worries, and a beautiful screamy baby to snuggle in your arms.
Loads of love to you today

Hope everything's going ok Kayleigh!!

Been a bit rubbish catching up as working nights again. Bumped into consultant last night. She said not to worry she can make them squeeze in a scan for 36 weeks. She's hoping to have the appointment all booked when I see her next week! She didn't realise who I was so was slightly confused for a while!!

Facebook group sounds fun, always love baby photos!!

Quick lake get onto the Facebook group have put a pic of my ds up

Do we have a baby yet?

I reeeaaaallly want to join the facebook thing but I had a stalker and now as a result I'm scared of facebook or anything else where I might be tracked down. I know the chances are slim but I'm mega scared just the same. I had an account for a wee while but then kept being asked to be friends with people I just couldn't place and chickened out. If anyone has an idea of what I can do I'm up for suggestions. I have a long way to go and seeing you all get to hold your beautiful rainbows will be a lovely motivator.

3 you could set one up under a different name and create an email address specifically for it. Then no one will know it's you and you get to nose at photos

Oh my goodness I've done it! I feel very naughty I hope no one in El find's out they've been trying to get me to do it for years! I'm off to pm Flambola x

Thinking of you kayleigh, hope all is going well!!

Hope all is well Kayleigh and hopefully you can join the fb group soon so we can see your lovely rainbow

Hi all, I hoped maybe to join this thread and perhaps ask for a bit of advice. I posted a couple of times on the ttc version and you were all so lovely and supportive - thank you. I found it hard to be present on that thread though, as talking about conception just made me want it more and my need felt pretty desperate already!

So, to recap we lost our daughter at 20 weeks on 27/4/15. We visited A&E due blood clot on fri - scan and all fine light bleeding continued. A&E Sunday for pains (which turned out to be contractions) told it was stretching pain and sent home. Delivered our daughter early hours and taken to said A&E in ambulance. They surgically removed remaining placenta and put me on IV antibiotics. Forms completed for post mortem and cremation arranged. We then left hospital and have heard nothing since. Other then some communications from teams in error not realising we had lost Beatrix.

I appreciate it's only been four months, but we've been pretty keen to find out why things ended as they did. I visited GP two weeks ago who gave me the number to chase post mortem and referred me 'urgently' for bereavement counselling - I think I'm coping reasonably well but any help is worth trying and appreciated.

I spoke with a lovely nurse two weeks ago at hospital who looked into post mortem and found it had come back end of July and was awaiting the consulatant (I got a name) to look at it and arrange appointment to discuss.

This morning we got a BFP. We are cautiously delighted and quietly hopeful but also nervous as we still have no follow up to losing our daughter and no suggestion as to whether this is something that requires intervention or could happen again. I had been referred to consulant care on the back of the first A&E visit with the blood clot, but as we lost her two days later that of course never happened. What shall I do?

I would like to have the results of the post mortem and have reassurance of the care I will receive this time. Should I book into see my GP at this early stage or wait a while as I am currently 4 weeks?

Sorry for such a huge offloading essay. I know that all of you will understand my current state of anxiety!

Thank you for reading

Hi bear!

Congratulations

Does your hosp have a bereavement midwife?

I would contact them and demand your appointment asap. That time length is completely unacceptable. IMHO it warrants a complaint. Them taking this long just drags it out for you and will obviously cause you worries in your pregnancy. I don't know if you saw but when I had dd I had the pm appt at around 11-12 weeks after delivery, I was told there was no reason and I would receive a letter stating this. My dd passed away in feb 2014 and it was only recently (after lots of phone calls/letters etc) that I received it and it included lots of things that Were not discussed with me. After all this time it has definitely brought it all back, it has been passed to one of the top consultants and I am currently waiting for an appointment to be dragged through it all over again

The findings of the pm should be the basis of your next care plan incase any preventative measures need to be put in place, for example my placenta 'just stopped working' so I was put on daily aspirin to try and improve the blood flow and was given regular Doppler scans to check the placenta was ok.

Was there a particular midwife you got on with? I was lucky in that my midwife was amazing. I told her as soon as I got my bfp, she turned up at my house when I was 4 weeks pg to do my booking in appt. I told her I didn't want to incase something happened and her reply was 'bollocks this baby is fine!' It didn't feel like it at the time but by doing that it made me feel better as it became a bit more 'real'.

Sorry for waffling on

Hope you have a completely uneventful pregnancy and we are here for support

Hi bear!

Congratulations

Does your hosp have a bereavement midwife?

I would contact them and demand your appointment asap. That time length is completely unacceptable. IMHO it warrants a complaint. Them taking this long just drags it out for you and will obviously cause you worries in your pregnancy. I don't know if you saw but when I had dd I had the pm appt at around 11-12 weeks after delivery, I was told there was no reason and I would receive a letter stating this. My dd passed away in feb 2014 and it was only recently (after lots of phone calls/letters etc) that I received it and it included lots of things that Were not discussed with me. After all this time it has definitely brought it all back, it has been passed to one of the top consultants and I am currently waiting for an appointment to be dragged through it all over again

The findings of the pm should be the basis of your next care plan incase any preventative measures need to be put in place, for example my placenta 'just stopped working' so I was put on daily aspirin to try and improve the blood flow and was given regular Doppler scans to check the placenta was ok.

Was there a particular midwife you got on with? I was lucky in that my midwife was amazing. I told her as soon as I got my bfp, she turned up at my house when I was 4 weeks pg to do my booking in appt. I told her I didn't want to incase something happened and her reply was 'bollocks this baby is fine!' It didn't feel like it at the time but by doing that it made me feel better as it became a bit more 'real'.

Sorry for waffling on

Hope you have a completely uneventful pregnancy and we are here for support

Congratulations bear, I too hope that your pregnancy is as boring as they come, with a lovely healthy baby at the end of it.
Please push for an appointment as soon as can be. Not becuause of anything being wrong this time, but because, as zombie said, what ever they have found will be the basis for your care plan this time around. If your GP is good maybe a visit to them to get them on the case too would be helpful. My GP was lovely. I turned up one day in floods of tears announcing I was pregnant and scared. He was so supportive and even called me at home a few days later to see how I was getting on.
The ladies on here have been a massive support to me. Even though I don't know them in RL I love the bones of them. It am sure they will be a great hep to you too.

Kayleigh thinking of you my lovely hoping that all is going perfectly.

Hey bear. I would totally agree with the others. Either contact a bereavement midwife or if you know the name of the consultant go through the hospital switchboard and ask to speak to the consultants receptionist and ask if she can book you an urgent appointment to discuss the post mortem results as you've been waiting a long time.

Kayleigh thinking of you.

AFM chucking down with rain here and it really seems to have affected my mood today. DH told me it's a friends birthday so they are going to London on Friday night, I already knew about this and am fine with it, he also mentioned they were doing something in our town on the Saturday too which I am also fine with but told him we need to collect the flowers for E's birthday on Sunday. Well today it turns out the 'local' part is actually not all that local and in a town that's about 45 min drive away. They are planning on drinking all night on Saturday so realistically he's not gonna be fit to drive until at least Sunday lunchtime. He doesn't see the issue but it's like he didn't even think about the plans we'd made for E's birthday (actually on Tuesday but he's working all day). I tried to explain I feel really let down and like yet again I'm the only one dealing with this. He just doesn't get it

Lake I often feel like that with dh I think men just handle it very differently x

Well my pad seems to have logged me out of mumsnet, I read about kayliegh, got overexcited and couldn't remember my password then somehow managed to unwatch the thread! Sorry for not catching up on everyone but just wanted to say good luck Kayleigh keeping everything crossed for you for a calm labour. I've no idea how I manage to get so excited/emotionally invested into the lives of people I have never met, am hoping with everything I have that everything goes well for you all.

Now I'll go back and read everyone's posts!

Hello ladies- had some trouble logging in, hence the rather late update. Our rainbow Shayla-Jayde was born 17/8 at 22.06 we're now back home feeling shattered but happy.

bear congratulations on your bfp i too would highly recommend getting support from your hospital's bereavement midwife if they have one, as i doubt i'd have coped as well as i did without mine.