With our swamp fanjos and supermarket jobbies it's all going on in our knickers. It's a wonder our men agree to deliver the prostaglandin injections but then we are the 24th Just Shagging Grads!

[Pisghetti]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 24th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is herein its 41st outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs herefor once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

The stats sheet is here

So, roll call below please, viroids!

Wow. Reading all this veg chat and concluding i have led a very vanilla life...

popz - I'm on ad's too, and probably will be for ever. It's an anxiety thing for me - so initially, the major anxiety i had to get over was the anxiety about taking them when pregnant. A beautiful irony.....

fortunately, a fantastic obs consultant and mr deeply talked me off the ledge on that one, so just hoping that all stays well.

I tried to put a plastic sword up me once too for a laugh. It was a wee bit jaggy though so I soon realised my error!

Lmao at Dulcett and 5 a day! Nearly spat my tea out! Cup of tea that is!

Was that to dice up the banana when it got stuck lala?

Actually thinking back I think they WERE the same day!

Dulcet you could make a smoothie

Oooh! I can poo in a jiffy for you! I love to send a turd parcel to a deserving tosser.
Ice pops always used to give me mouth sores. my vegetable sex encounters have been limited to cucumber( I just wanted to se what the fuss was about) but was pretty unsuccessful, as cucumber is quite rigid and penises aren't.
I've totally had a wank with a toothbrush too. And one of those vibrating Gillette razors (handle only, no blade) . I had an ex who liked the handle of an umbrella up his bum during a handjob. It was a very specific umbrella.

That is all.

I am virtually a nun.

And now I can't get the image of a guy receiving a handjob with a brolly sticking out of his arse out of my head.

Did you ever open it tee? Just for fun? I know it's bad luck but I'd be curious!

It's not a fruit salad I would want to eat la!

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!!! The umbrella up bum made me snort

Echoing fleur I am definitely not kinky enough, poor dh doesn't know what he's missing (although is very confused at why I keep sniggering at my tablet)

La you have one hungry fanjo! Carrot?

Also the toothbrush thing, not weird. They actually sell little attachments to go on them for that very purpose! Multitasking

Noone said anything about it working in reverse to me Dulce I did have a couple of episodes of really bad anxiety which were probably hormoney but overall felt pretty good. Is yours any better? Neighbour sounds like a douche! I had a neighbour jab me in the stomach and say "you're not pregnant are you?" at about 16 weeks. Lord knows what she'd have said if I wasn't!

Turd in the post. Love it!

I think the slightly thing with the brolly was that he'd discovered he liked it while he was solo wanking, he demonstrated how he used to kind of back into the handle and then pushed the spiky bit against his bedroom wall for traction/stability. You can totally see how people end up in a and e with rectal mishaps.
He also got me to wee on him once. We were away on holiday and I obliged in the shower. We broke up soon after, I am just not cut out for that kind of thing.
Also men have hairy bums, I'd need a machetes to get to mr tee's nipsy.

I seriously worry about you lot! you are all clearly deprived

Oh my actual God.

I'm not sure if I'm more shocked at La's vitamin craving fanjo or the brolly up the arse. I really hope he never lent anyone that umbrella. Also hoping none of these toothbrushes are used for their actual purpose again. I don't think I've ever been so horny I've needed to raid the fridge makes note to set up vegetable helpline for misused courgettes

Has anyone checked Red's blog since her due date or does someone have a link?

Yup she's not updated it since Christmas :(

the abused vegetable benevolent fund? What about parsnips, they're nice gradiented, you'd think more people would go for them, but I've never heard of anyone self penetrating with a parsnip, ever.

I have been awake for some time.

Awake with restless legs. Has to be one of the worst pg symptoms for me. Legs start to ache, throb, burn, itch. I then scratch and they bleed. I would give my right arm for someone to massage my legs and feet just now. I feel like I've been standing up for a week.

Today was the first day I felt truly large and uncomfortable. I felt like my clothes were too tight, I was too hot and very tired. Lots if people at work told me I look 'peaky' and tired.

Might see if I can book a pg massage.

Electric toothbrush - it was an old one with no head!!

Do vegetables and fruit come with grading system? Eg like gold, silver or bronze then carrot, parsnip and kumquat?

Surely aubergine and squash/marrow go into the gold category.

I happen to think aubergines are quite a sexual vegetable, they look like purple pvc. I've not partaken tho, I think my kegels of iron might purée it. I also don't like them to eat either.

I am genuinely perplexed as to how someone could get an aubergine up their chuff.

haha! What a treat of a conversation to wake up to, well some viroids, gold stars all round!
Can't say I have anything to add to the (dinner) table though sorry! Though I did once hear a story about a man and a mango which made me chuckle.
Just woken from another crazy dream... I should start making the most of my 5am waking I think- I could get so much done if I could just be bothered to get out of bed.

That should say *well done viroids

Depends what the grading system was for. Aubergine would get gold if we were grading difficulty but not if we were grading comparisons to the real thing!

Using a wall for grip sounds like a way to get up with some kind of anal bleed tee! I think I would be too scared something would go wrong to concentrate on enjoying it!

Friend worked in A&E for a while and she said people come in with all sorts up their bums. Someone slipped onto shampoo bottles or accidentally lost their phone up there. It must take a bit of force to be able to do it accidentally!

I've been better this week popz, last week was particularly bad. Keen to manage it myself if I can but can feel it starting again a bit. Just trying to rationalise things to keep it at bay.

I've got work today, booooo!