April 2015 Thread 10: full of chatterboxes, only 2 months to go...

[Hidingthefear]

the other thread was almost full already! Any newbies welcome to join : )

Copied this from Boo from the last fred, sorry if it's changed since then, wasnt sure where to find it.

Unknown/Surprise
Misty414, 30, #1 edd 25th March
Fingerscrossed, 33, #2 EDD 1st April
ChickenMe, 38, EDD 4th April
LadyStinky, 35, #1 EDD 5th April
Rustyzilla, 34, #1, EDD 7th April
Floppypotato, #1, EDD 7th April
BrixtonBunny, 26, #1 edd 8th April - Surprise (but more likely to be girl according to sonographer)
Nerdsgirl, EDD 9th April
Chiliplant, ?, #1, EDD 11th April -
Wineandchoccy, 33, #1, EDD 14th April
AnniaFausta, 32, #1, EDD 15th April
AbiBanbury, 38, #1 EDD 18th April (but ovulate early so likely to be more like 14th) -
BitchPeas #2 EDD 19th April
Kismac, 29 #1, EDD 19th April
NinnynoodleNoo, 37, #6, EDD 19th April
SquattingNeville, 24, #2, EDD 20th April
CherryLips1980, 34, #2, EDD 21st April
Chococroc, 31, #1, EDD 22nd April, (but will likely be a couple of weeks earlier due to health condition) -
Lauren82000, 30 #2 EDD 22nd April
Ivegotacavetroll, 30 #1 EDD 23rd April
Mswibble - 29, #1, EDD 24th April
HippoPottyMouth, 38, #3, EDD 25th April
OneDay, 27, no DC, MMC June 2014, EDD 26th April
Squidge14,#1, EDD 27th April
JaneyTea, 34, #1. EDD 29th April
catsofa 35, #1, EDD 30th April

Boy
RiverRocks, 30, #1, EDD 26th March
houghtonk76, 38, #1, EDD 1st April
Lindalove, 38, EDD 2nd April
Lila35, 35, #1, EDD 3rd April
Cinnamongreyhound, 33, #3 edd 6th April
berberana, 34 #2 edd 11th April
Hidingthefear, 25, #1 EDD 13Th April
daholster, 32, #2, EDD 14th April
BonjourMinou, 32, #2, EDD 19th April
BananaToast, 26, #1, EDD 20th April
smogsville, 33, #2, EDD 22nd April, csection booked for 16th April
LadyNovember, 24, #1, EDD 23rd April
StuntNun, 38, #4, EDD 27th April
Mel0drama 36, dc #2, edd 29th April

Girl
Roastpots 35, #2 EDD 1st April
Babiecakes11, 23, 4th pregnancy, 2nd baby EDD April 1st
minipie, 34, #2, EDD 4th April
Skyra13, 26, #1 EDD 6th April
londonlivvy, 39, DC#2, EDD 8 April
upduffedsecret, EDD 8th April - Girl?
TinyTear, 41, DD2 EDD 11th April
TheBooMonster, 25, DD2, EDD 11th April
Mamabear0315, 24, #2, EDD 12th April
MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet, 36, #2 EDD 23rd April
FreedomHuntress, 40, #2, EDD 27th April
Siarie, 26, #1, EDD 27th April

good post london think I might check that Tracey out myself.
penguin i'm a first timer and everytime some says don't worry it will come naturally i feel like shouting "but what if it doesnt!!"
I contacted a local support centre and the lady there very kindly sent me some leaflets on breastfeeding, and they were really helpful. Also offered to come see me when on mat leave and that I was welcome to come to groups before I have baby. maybe get in touch with a few now.
good luck with your results!!

hiding boonbelx should give both you and me £10 off. I think you add it when you subscribe rather than when you sign up, but there's a box somewhere. www.sassybloom.com/?referral_id=boonbelx might auto input it.

penguin it's worth checking into your local sure start centre, they might have a breastfeeding consultant with their team, both of my closest ones do.

hiding the breastfeeding thing worked fine for me, with no help ( I was lucky). The rest? not so much. I was clueless, terrified and exhausted and not thinking straight.

The first night, for example, after a very long birth (contractions started sat 10pm born at 5pm monday finally into the private room at 10pm, dh kicked out, fed her, both went to sleep).

DD woke at about 1am. I fed her. winded her and changed her bum. Put her in the basket thingy. She howled. and Howled. I winded her some more. More howling. eventually called the midwife who said "she probably just wants a cuddle. She's been used to being near you and hearing and feeling you". It genuinely hadn't occurred to me. and worse, i felt so resentful. What do you mean SHE wants a cuddle? I want a f.....g cuddle from my husband that you sent away. I've had no sleep in three days. I've been to hell and back and you tell me SHE wants a cuddle. I didn't say that. but I thought it (I know, I know. bad mother). I sobbed. uncontrollably. I was so very very tired and sore and miserable and lonely. Anyway, the midwife took her away for two hours. so I got another couple of hours kip. But that was my lot.

I don't relate this as a horror story (though it wasn't fun) but as an example of how listening to your baby comes with time. So I think a bit of advice from a well chosen book or two can be helpful background.

Penguin, what everyone's said is true. This time around I don't feel that I'll know exactly what to do, but I do know we will get there in the end.

London I cried after a trouble free planned section so you were defo entitled to after marathon labour. It was quite a good trick actually as they let DH stay longer

Hiding that's great news about your hospital options.

Yes I know re wardrobes. The thing is when ceilings are high but rooms small it makes sense to use what space you have available but this seems by far the most expensive option. DH has categorically stated we are not spending two grand on wardrobes and I suspect he might be right.

The midwives gave me lots of support on the ward overnight because dd sruggled to feed and I was ill. She slept a lot on the crib and didn't cry. I didn't pick her up much. I tried to express while the midwives fed her and sorted her and put her back. She had lots of cuddles with daddy in the day and he really got stuck in. Getting out of bed was a massive deal for me, every move was sore and made me need the loo, so I didn't want to move to do anything, so she spent lots of time sleeping in the crib. That thought makes me a bit sad now, but I really must have felt poorly. I can't imagine wanting to put this little boy down at all!!!

That baby whispered sounds good. But we muddled through last time and will do the same this time I imagine!

I'd recommend Your Baby Week by Week - unlike Gina/baby whisperer it doesn't suggest a routine or a "right way" to do things but it does give useful info like "at x age they need about y hours of naps" and "you might like to try a b or c to get them to sleep" plus info about common illnesses, feeding problems etc.

The common theme behind gina and baby whisperer is 1) feed them a lot during the day, less in the night and 2) don't feed to sleep, try to teach them to go to sleep on their own as far as possible. Both of which are good ideas in theory (as they will mean better sleeping habits later on) but some babies are more compliant than others!

What to expect is quite useful but more as a reference guide to look up particular issues rather than a daily "how to" iyswim.

None of these books mention tongue tie though which is a big bugbear for me as it's so common and causes so many women BF issues which could be fixed if only the tongue tie got sorted.

The main thing to remember is that pretty much all first time parents are terrified and feel they have no idea what they are doing!

Thank you all for reassuring words. Good to know that yes it will be hard but it's normal - if you see what I mean! Will have a look at all the recommended books on amazon tomorrow (I'm the sort of person who feels better if I have a book even if it ends up sitting on the shelf!) will definitely check out where my sure start centre is too.

Oh yes I remember reading GF saying you musn't feed them to sleep or they'll never learn to settle themselves.... I fed DD to sleep for six months until she was old enough to have a cuddly animal in her cot with her that seemed to work as a focus/ distraction until she nodded off.

There are no absolutes. Daholster like you I think we will be muddling through again this time.

I never worked out how not to feed DD to sleep. She fed she nodded off. I wasn't going to wake her up just to put her down and fall asleep again! We have no problem with her falling asleep now. She's just stubborn about wanting our bed when she wakes in the night. DH let her back in last night undoing all our hard work because he wanted cuddles!

Im reading Keep Calm The New Mum's Manual by Ellie Cannon. It's more a self help book on being confident and listening to your instincts. Im enjoying it but Im going to buy something that gives a bit more instruction. Might look into the Baby Whisperer. I also got DH Commando Dad which Im planning on reading.

I'm trying to get OH to read something because I need him to know what to expect. Especially about the hospital experience. Any tips on getting stubborn OHs to read up?
I'm relaxed about the actual baby (for now) but know nothing about labour or hospitals. I thought the labour ward was like loads of cubicles with curtains until my mum told me you get a room! Do you have to stay in overnight? Clueless.

I know what you mean smogs we have small rooms, so we also got a lift up bed from IKEA, it's been a life saver. the only issue is that they make their beds odd sizes so you either have to buy on of their mattressess (which look naff) or you buy a normal mattress and bedding but have a gap around the bed. that's what we did but you can't see the gap once the bedding is on.

It was good that the midwife took her so you could rest london and I get what you mean about feeling resentful. this is my first but I can totally understand how after all that tiring work to get baby here you'd just want to sleep. We're still human after all!! It's as though just because you have a baby and you become a Mum people all of a sudden think that you should be a super wonderfull sefless human being. Heard a bit about that baby whisperer one so might have a look at that myself. and that one you suggested sounds good mini i think that's more something i'm looking for because I have absolutely no idea or experience of what babies do and when, so even a rough idea would be useful i think even though I know their all different.

Morning ladies. I haven't got any book suggestions for us, but at our NCT course the lady and one of the dads-to-be suggested Dean Beaumont'a book, I think it's called the expectant fathers handbook was very good and definitely worth a look.

10 more weeks of discomfort stopping me having that lovely sleep I crave... I am so tired! Dd is full of beans!

30+1

chicken I got my DH a book called "pregnancy for Men, the whole 9 months* and it's brilliant, I think it's my Mark Woods
He's only up to Month 5 (so he's about 2 months behind) but he's getting there. I've read it too and think it's great. It's written by a man and is very honest but not heavy reading.
i actually think that book is why i got n amazing pregnancy pillow and a massage voucher for christmas as it has suggestions each month on how the man can be helpful (one of them was changing the bedding because it's exhausting for your partner, which DH kindly did without me asking the other week)

31 weeks today! We've hired a plumber and electrician who will hopefully start next week, but feeling very unprepared - nine weeks to go (and possibly less if baby comes early)

I've slept much better the last two nights, DP has been reading to me from one of my hypnobirthing books before I go to sleep and then guiding me through relaxation exercises as I fall asleep. I've been going to sleep feeling so calm that I think I've slept much more deeply - even if you don't fancy hypnobirthing I strongly recommend getting a book to do some of the exercises! (Sods law I probably won't sleep a wink tonight).

Working from home today, feel a bit anxious about it as I'm so busy and could really do with being in the office, but I don't want my working from home day to become something that's seen as unimportant or optional by my boss. Will just need to be even more efficient over email than usual

Your baby week by week is good if you ignore their cruel sleep training advice... The same authors then have your baby month by month later on and we also read their potty training book

Boo, the bear is adorable. Can you tell me what brand/make it is so I can go and look at them without signing up for the box? ;)

We had a great big Baby Kit strategy meeting last night, so now we have clear lists of what we need to buy in various subheadings. Including Textiles and Hardware. As I said to DH, at this stage it's still basically project managing, although once the small person arrives it'll become parenting quite quickly.

Also, we have decided we need to have a conversation about nappy strategy. If you had told me ten years ago I'd be scheduling a conversation about nappy strategy in my diary, I actually dread to think what the result would have been.

FiRaffe, in 'small world' news, I was at university with Dean Beaumont's business partner and wife ;)

london interesting to hear about the car experiences, we finally decided last night to go with the Mercedes. We literally could have just flipped a coin but what swayed it in the end was that the Mercedes had a better resell value and could deliver for March. Whereas we would have to wait until May/June for the Audi because it's just starting production.

Me and DH must have spent a good ten minutes trying to talk each other into which to pick as they are just so close. In the end I told him I didn't want to decide because my star sign said I shouldnt yesterday! Haha. We have picked pretty much all the packages which includes full leather AMG seats as I told DH that babies are messy and it's easier to clean .

I'm actually looking forward to it, it will be nice not to feel like we had to trade in a fun car for a "family car" as I'm the one who has problems with driving without a performance engine.

So that solves the question of what car to drive for the next three years.

hiding I'm looking forward to labour too, I deal well with pain so I don't care about that and just want to meet this little one. I'm hoping I can give birth at my local birth centre so DH can stay. I hate the thought of a post natal ward so hopefully I will have a low risk normal pregnancy. The birth centre lets you stay in one room for the whole thing and you leave when you feel ready. But it's all down to chance isn't it.

In terms of reading I guess my last post sums it up a bit but I'm currently reading a couple of excellent hypnobirth books. Also reading one called "gentle birth, gentle mothering" which talks usefully about the weeks following birth. DP tends to read these with me before bed, but he's also read a couple of other shorter "guide to birth and life with a baby" style books.

We also read "French children don't throw food" which was quite fun but I'm not totally convinced by everything she says as I'm quite sold on attachment parenting through-and-through (though with a french mum and grandparents I can definitely recognise some elements in the French book and will try and incorporate them).

Can't hurt to arm ourselves with knowledge!

My legs are killing me, feels like I have cold in them. Really should of brought my hot water bottle to rest between them. Hope this isn't the beginning of restless leg syndrome. Drove me crackers with DD, that and the sudden attack of the killer leg cramp!

No book recommendations I'm afraid, I just winged it last time and DD came out alright. I read one that was just about sleep routines and I have a super nanny toddler one (which just makes me laugh as no amount of parenting helps with toddlers they are just wild things that live in your house with you, all you can do is ride the storm and they come out the otherwise eventually.)

DH brought up the birth plan the other day. He asked if I was just going to do it on a bed again. I said I want the pool, he pulled his face and said don't fancy that. I told him it's my birth and potentially our last baby I didn't want to miss out on the experience because he doesn't fancy it.

In all honesty I just don't fancy getting shoved in the shower 10mins after delivery like I was last time. I couldn't stand up and DH had to wash me in the shower tray! Very pitiful. if I don't get my water birth for what ever reason I'm certainly going to tell them to sod off and I'll wash in my own damn time not when they tell me to.

Annia I'd forgotten about you and your DPs "strategy meetings" - brilliant!

Hiding I got my DH that book too - unfortunately haven't reaped the benefits in the same way as i think he has only read the first few pages!

Love the idea of a strategy meeting! Our discussions are more like...
Me "what should we do about nappies"
DH "buy some"!
Me "where from, what kind?"
DH "dunno whatever you want"

I'm not meaning to make my DH sound bad here because he is really great and will be a fantastic dad, he's just so laid back where I'm more of a stress head. Probably a good thing that he is like that!

Midwife appt in a couple of hours, going to ask about the fact that I'm all itchy and it's getting worse! Was just my bump but now back and legs too. So irritating! Doubt she will be able to do anything about hip pains. Right need to get tidied up for HV coming later...!