April 2015 Thread 10: full of chatterboxes, only 2 months to go...

[Hidingthefear]

the other thread was almost full already! Any newbies welcome to join : )

Copied this from Boo from the last fred, sorry if it's changed since then, wasnt sure where to find it.

Unknown/Surprise
Misty414, 30, #1 edd 25th March
Fingerscrossed, 33, #2 EDD 1st April
ChickenMe, 38, EDD 4th April
LadyStinky, 35, #1 EDD 5th April
Rustyzilla, 34, #1, EDD 7th April
Floppypotato, #1, EDD 7th April
BrixtonBunny, 26, #1 edd 8th April - Surprise (but more likely to be girl according to sonographer)
Nerdsgirl, EDD 9th April
Chiliplant, ?, #1, EDD 11th April -
Wineandchoccy, 33, #1, EDD 14th April
AnniaFausta, 32, #1, EDD 15th April
AbiBanbury, 38, #1 EDD 18th April (but ovulate early so likely to be more like 14th) -
BitchPeas #2 EDD 19th April
Kismac, 29 #1, EDD 19th April
NinnynoodleNoo, 37, #6, EDD 19th April
SquattingNeville, 24, #2, EDD 20th April
CherryLips1980, 34, #2, EDD 21st April
Chococroc, 31, #1, EDD 22nd April, (but will likely be a couple of weeks earlier due to health condition) -
Lauren82000, 30 #2 EDD 22nd April
Ivegotacavetroll, 30 #1 EDD 23rd April
Mswibble - 29, #1, EDD 24th April
HippoPottyMouth, 38, #3, EDD 25th April
OneDay, 27, no DC, MMC June 2014, EDD 26th April
Squidge14,#1, EDD 27th April
JaneyTea, 34, #1. EDD 29th April
catsofa 35, #1, EDD 30th April

Boy
RiverRocks, 30, #1, EDD 26th March
houghtonk76, 38, #1, EDD 1st April
Lindalove, 38, EDD 2nd April
Lila35, 35, #1, EDD 3rd April
Cinnamongreyhound, 33, #3 edd 6th April
berberana, 34 #2 edd 11th April
Hidingthefear, 25, #1 EDD 13Th April
daholster, 32, #2, EDD 14th April
BonjourMinou, 32, #2, EDD 19th April
BananaToast, 26, #1, EDD 20th April
smogsville, 33, #2, EDD 22nd April, csection booked for 16th April
LadyNovember, 24, #1, EDD 23rd April
StuntNun, 38, #4, EDD 27th April
Mel0drama 36, dc #2, edd 29th April

Girl
Roastpots 35, #2 EDD 1st April
Babiecakes11, 23, 4th pregnancy, 2nd baby EDD April 1st
minipie, 34, #2, EDD 4th April
Skyra13, 26, #1 EDD 6th April
londonlivvy, 39, DC#2, EDD 8 April
upduffedsecret, EDD 8th April - Girl?
TinyTear, 41, DD2 EDD 11th April
TheBooMonster, 25, DD2, EDD 11th April
Mamabear0315, 24, #2, EDD 12th April
MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet, 36, #2 EDD 23rd April
FreedomHuntress, 40, #2, EDD 27th April
Siarie, 26, #1, EDD 27th April

Sounds rough Cisfor hopefully second time round will be easier on you.

First time round for me was fairly plain sailing for me (cocodamol and gas and air, tiny episiotomy) but hard on DD - she got squished/stuck at crowning and had to be rescuscitated. I had been hoping that would mean labour would go fairly easily for me second time round and that DD2 will not be prem so easier on her too. But now with this GD rubbish I will probably have to be induced so that's a whole different ball game with more pain and more likelihood of interventions as your experience shows Cisfor. Grump. Ideally I will go into labour naturally at 39+6! (chances...)

This time - I still can't decide whether to ask for an epidural if I am induced. Induction is supposed to be more painful so I am worried about managing on G&A, but on the other hand epidural makes interventions/CS even more likely...

daholster I definitely had a point where I was saying "I can't do it" but for me it was crowning rather than transition - I actually asked them to do an episiotomy as I just couldn't push her out, didn't have the strength. It wasn't about the pain levels. DH kept saying "yes you can" and I got cross with him as I knew he thought it was the transition thing and it wasn't!

lauren good point about the jumper/cardigan! And at toddlers being "just wild things that live in your house with you" DD is just like that! Crazy child.

Siarie your car chat is dangerous! I showed DH the Mercedes and he said it wasn't an option due to not being available second hand, but then proceeded to look at all sorts of other super quick Mercedes options (estates mainly) and attempt to twist my arm! I am still saying we will manage with the Golf Gti, there is enough room if we don't recline DD1's seat and don't try to take a double buggy anywhere. Glad you've gone for leather seats they are SO much better for getting rid of all the raisins/rice cake crumbs/occasional puke!

Squidge glad your growth scan was normal

tiny what's the sleep training advice in Your baby week by week? I must have missed it.

Squatting I agree the sleep thing is largely luck of the draw. I reckon people who think they've Gina'd their babies into being good sleepers have babies who would have been good sleepers anyway. Judging from my experience with DD, it's much more important to make sure they get enough sleep overall and avoid overtiredness hell, than to worry about exactly how and when they get to sleep.

I am starting to think about a birth plan but so difficult to know what is best! Our NCT lady kept going on about not lying on the bed as it makes it more difficult as you're pushing up hill.... she was ranting at One Born Every Minute and how they shouldn't put people on a bed!

We can all try to put your mind at ease but it won't all be ok until you are there doing it PenguinPoser. I agree with minipie on the book your baby week by week, helped me as Im a control freak and you have no control, it made me feel I was doing something to have a set of rough parameters.
I struggled with ds1, didn't figure which cry meant what and he had colic so cried a lot but there aren't a lot of options to try. I left feeding until last as I was in pain from thrush and no one telling me my latch was wrong but I felt out of my depth. What got me through was how much I loved him and I just kept trying things until he was happy! Some days I'd put him down as I felt I should and Dh told me to enjoy him while I could. I got better at figuring what he wanted quite quickly and ds2 was a breeze!

Ds2 was weird and pushed me away when he'd had enough milk and always fell asleep on his own

I can't remember who was asking a week or so ago about maternity pads but I went to buy some today and my local Tesco no longer do that big thick ones

I had a midwife wash me in bed after I had ds1 as I had an epidural so couldn't stand. Looking back no one asked if I wanted one just said they were doing it. After ds2 they said they'd run me a bath which I had but I don't bathe anyway and it was horrid with all the gunk coming out of me, would much rather had a shower, again didn't think to say no!

I had that I only wanted g&a, wanted to be mobile and upright, no episiotomy, natural third stage, baby delivered straight onto me, DH didnt want to cut cord (although he changed his mind when it came to it), vitK injection for ds. Can't remember more than that without thinking harder BrixtonBunny.

My mum lives a mile away and has a spare key so anything she needs for my two she can just come and get, one less thing to worry about!

I would recommend still writing a birth plan Cisforcat. I was gutted when I had to be induced again with ds2 but it went much better and despite it still not being the birth I wanted it healed a lot of the grief I had for what I felt was failure the first time. I realise no birth is a failure but you can't help how you feel and I think a positive mindset going in a second time helps to have a positive outcome. I was still awkward and said what I wanted but still didn't get it all!

squatting I am actually wiping away the tears from the trauma of trying to get dd to nap right now - my own tears! I hate seeing her so upset, begging to come with me when I leave the room. She really needs a sleep though and it's swimming lesson this afternoon so no sleep would be a disaster!!! She used to go down so well, and nap like a dream. Now she fights and thinks she's missing out/misses us, but we tried her without it last weekend and she tried to go to sleep on her comic at 17.45 just before her tea, then actually asked to get in bed. At 21 months that means one over tired toddler! The last 2 hours of the day were torture for her. Night time isn't so bad.

I was thinking I need to retrain her so started going back in every 10 mins ( she doesn't cry continuously) but it just seems to make her worse. A friend said she got in her ds's cot so I just tried that, she lay down all excited then got up showing me everything etc etc. When I tried to get her to lie down for a cuddle she started shouting "don't want cuddle you! Daddyyyy, daddy!!!" Which made me feel even worse (dh is at work), since she rarely refuses cuddles from me. Plus the fact that I am exhausted and need a nap myself, I could cry at that without the added emotional turmoil and tugging at the heart strings!

I've got no idea what has changed and what we are doing wrong these days but even when she settles herself without crying it can take an hour these days. And all the children at her nursry nap well into age 3 so I think she could do with the sleep, it will not harm her. Well, it wouldnt if she got on with it!!!

Just don't know what to do... Bed later, up same time and then try? I have no idea... I don't want a child who isn't getting enough sleep! When the baby arrives she will struggle already without all this to co tend with. I feel quite sad and frustrated.

Induction is definitely a horrible experience but I have heard people having a lovely time of it, so if any first timers end up being induced go with an open mind you may be surprised. just be forewarned that if you can't get up from being so out of it and get to the loo, the mw will stick a catheter up there to release the pressure (was like a little fountain)

I felt robbed of not having my waters go naturally. The mw did it when I was 9cm and it all went quick from there. I did get a few weak contractions that I just couldn't push with and the mw was getting a bit shirty with me as she thought I wasn't making the effort when I was! Another reason for no pethadine this time. I'd of told her what was going on instead of being a grunty mute!

annia www.amazon.co.uk/Keel-Toys-Belle-Rose-Brown/dp/B00KWIYAOW this is the bear I believe.

Do you have wind down time before her daytime nap similar to bedtime daholster? Ds2 and I used to watch a bit of tv with his mussy after lunch and he knew when x programme finished he went upstairs. He already had his mussy so had started to wind down and if he started getting up/messing around I just said I'd take mussy and he'd settle again. It is a lot to do with being more aware of missing stuff when they're sleeping. He napped until he was almost 4 (usually an hour in the end) and nighttime sleep was 8/8.30(by the time he was actually asleep some evenings)-7.30 so 12-13hrs a day.

It's probably nothing you've done Daholster just a phase, it'll pass if you stick to your usual methods. We stopped DDs naps when she was almost 3. She was becoming unmanageable at bedtime so cutting her afternoon nap sorted it right out. Some days we still get 'don't want to go to bed' other days she's asking to go to bed as she's tired. God bless nursery though it really tired them out

i don't have a birth plan as such, it's more a list of information that I don't want people to miss or argue with me about. (like the active / managed third stage)

My Birth Plan.

General Notes.
-If intervention needed move to c-section unless this is no longer possible.
-I am happy for Medical staff in training to be involved in all stages of my care.

Stage 1 of Labour.
-Want to stay as active as possible initially
-monitoring with a doppler prefered.
-would like access to birthing pool if not induced.
-using Homeopathy.
-using Natal Hypnotherapy.

Stage 2 of Labour.
-any stitches need to be deeper (Hypermobility Syndrome - see notes)
-episiotomy preferred to taring.
-I want to cut the cord. (If this is even humanly possible?)

Stage 3 of Labour.
-Active third stage (Previous PPH - see notes)
-Happy to receive blood products.
-Vitamin K injection for baby rather than drops.
-baby should be checked for cafe-au-lait spots (Paternal NF1 - See notes)

I intend to breastfeed.
-Would like to avoid formula.
-Will express if baby and I are separated.
-Would like to avoid bottle feeding (cup or syringe if baby and I are separated)
-Would like help with ensuring correct latch and feeding.

hiding and annia I should probably say that the contents of the sassy bloom boxes to my knowledge is always different, that's the first time I've seen the bear of cutes and I've watched a fair few unboxing videos, though there are plenty of other bears (and bunnies) that i've seen in the boxes that are equally cute (some even personalised)

I thought having a cold and not being able to take lemsip is the worst. Boo also having a cold and being a nightmare because she doesn't know what to do with herself is even worse, especially as she instigated potty training yesterday, but DH dressed her, this morning so she's running round in a full body fest with the flaps hanging down and won't let me change her because she's scared I'll take off her tumble tots top.

Daholster my DD gave up her naps at around 26-7 months I appreciate yours is a bit younger but I am surprised (or maybe just envious!) to hear of children napping when they're 3+.

Good luck getting through one way or another. I stopped trying to put DD down when she took her nappy off and did a wee in the bed - realised the value of the nap to me was precisely zero if I then had to deal with more laundry.

Penguin that's good about the itching.

29 today.

oh, had my whooping cough jab today, she said it might sting a bit more as I only had it about 2 and a half years ago. My arm is mostly numb in a post workout ache kind of way.

Had my whooping cough jab yesterday boo and my arm aches now. It didn't ache until a good few hours after the jab, one thing I didn't think about is the fact that we can only sleep on our sides.

Last night I realised I would have to sleep on my arm (when I could no longer stand being on the other side) and ouch it really hurt but once you are lying on it, it's not so bad.

So my glucose test came back normal, thank goodness.

Good to know my car talk is having a positive reaction among the DP/DH's! Let's upgrade those baby wagons! I'm terrible when it comes to researching and reviews, I have to have all the information and I absorb things like a sponge.

Things to do for me now:

1. Packing my hospital bags - I need to of course research this ;)
2. Tour the birth centre
3. Create a birth plan
4. Finish off any last bits to buy, I think we are almost done though. But the list does keep changing, hence now I need to order the ISO fix for the car seat as we bought it originally thinking we wouldn't be using the ISO fix for a while until we bought the new car but given that the car is likely to arrive next month now thats another thing to add!

Thanks cinnamon and again everyone else for the book recommendations. Have just ordered your baby week by week one, and another that had good reviews on amazon called first time parent (or something like that!). Feel a bit better knowing they are coming. Health visitor has just left - was fine. She didn't snoop round the house or anything just came into living room. Lots of questions about medical history etc, social circumstances, housing etc. She went through my current daily routine (!!) and how that would totally change with baby and was normal. She said she would rather visit a happy mum and baby rather than a clean house (must have noticed that I had hoovered and dusted!). Also said she will send me information about antenatal breast feeding preparation at my sure start centre - which is at the end of my street cleverly disguised as a nursery! So overall the visit was fine. She also said they have breast feeding support people who can come out as soon as I'm home from hospital if needed

Hope you're ok daholster sounds exhausting for you as well as your DD.

I like your idea Boo having said I wasn't going to have a birth plan I think your list of ideas and preferences is really good. I don't want to dictate what is or isn't going to happen but guess it is useful to have my preferences down so it can be as close to what I imagine as possible.

penguin my figuring was if I'm trying to be all 'earth mum' and meditating and breathing etc the last thing I want is to be answering stupid questions :P

oooh siarie if you want lists to ensure you overpack I can give you mine! either as a google doc or as a blog post.

Do people think having 2 birth plans is worth it - one for going into labour naturally and one for being induced? It was suggested at NCT, but thought i'd see what those of you who had been through it all before thought

Firaffe as a FTM I'm not sure, I was going to put best case scenario and also emergency section preferences down - here's my draft plan which I've copied from my phone:

BIRTH PLAN

No extra midwives (trainees etc) in the room
Minimal monitoring - please use Doppler

(Natural and active hypno)birth:
Water birth / labour in water
Dim lights and privacy - "please knock" sign on door
No loud voices
Dilation checks - don't want these, don't want to be told my "progress"
"Hugs before drugs"
Warm compresses on perineum
Kneeling or pool
Don't want to "push" baby out, want to let my body do what it needs to do - please don't direct me
Don't offer me pain relief unless I ask for it

Absolutely no pethadine
Would rather tear than have episiotomy

In case of emergency c-section:
Second opinion first
DP to be there
Screen lowered so I can see baby come out
Baby to be placed on me immediately after birth
Delayed cord clamping if possible
Dimmed lights and quiet voices when baby comes out if possible
DP to take baby for skin-to-skin whilst I'm being sewn up
Take placenta home unless impossible

If baby and I are separated in an emergency:
No formula
Syringe feed
DP to stay close to baby

Baby born:
Delayed cord clamping
Skin to skin immediately
Don't rub baby clean
No weighing or handling baby until bonding, feeding etc over
DP to announce sex
DP to cut the cord
Check for tongue tie!
Breastfeed as soon as possible
Placenta delivered naturally
Take placenta home (might need refrigerating for a couple of hours)
Cord banking
Home as soon as possible

Totally un-baby related but seeing as I was harping on about it the other week... I passed my exam
So relieved.

FiRaffe I'm just going to have a few general preferences I think - but it seems like a really individual thing depending on what you would like and how important those things are to you. Although ftm as well so would be interesting to see what others think. If specific things are important to you regarding induction then by all means add those things in seems sensible

Well done Penguin!

Hooray Penguin! great news.

I think my birth plan is something like this:

• MLU and pool if at all possible (this will be a fight, given my GD)
• Want to try to manage on gas and air. If induced and/or back to back baby, will still try gas and air but more likely to want epidural
• Low lighting
• Please don't talk to me during contractions unless necessary (I found I hated this last time)
• Happy to have episiotomy if baby gets stuck at crowning (based on what happened to DD)
• Delayed cord clamping
• Check for tongue tie (though tbh I wouldn't trust a midwife's check anyway, so many get it wrong, I intend to get BF consultant to check ASAP).
• No formula, if BF isn't working/possible then please use expressed colostrum which I have brought.

I would so love no CFM but judging on the lack of labour with my other two and the fact that they will induce me at 40 weeks if I don't have the baby by then I think it's unlikely :(

boo (and anyone else local to me) referring back to a conversation from i think a day or two ago - the Mamas & Papas on Riverside is closing down. Just got some great bargains, everything was at least 50% off - bit disappointed I'd already got a lot of the big things!