January 2015 Thread #9 - Crossing legs and fingers for the final stretch!

[KateTheHuman]

Welcome to the third trimester ladies!

Stats here

jobrum not everyone has a 28 week scan in UK. I didn't last time - I am having extra monitoring due to past "problems". My understanding is they only do the extra NHS scans if there is a reason for it.

1st time mums have a 24 week "extra" midwife appointment, and we all should have a 28 week midwife appointment to check bloods etc hope this helps :)

Thank you guys for the input on schools - I will read the OFSTED report as that was only 2013. I will book an appointment to see the school and chat with the head see if there is anything that sways me one way or other.

I appreciate even if I fall in love with a local school DS may not be offered a place, but still have to at least try :)

31+1 here, and thrilled not long left now :) As much as I am grateful and love feeling baby move around, I would like to be able to breath properly, and walk without grimacing with discomfort!

I am (madly) hoping to work right up until 38+3 because of money - but in all honesty I am not expecting to get this far!! DS started to try and escape at 37+5, and the "old wives" tell me second can come sooner. Based on this I whilst I intend to work right up until then, I am not planning on doing anything the last 2 weeks except be present...

The joys of being the manager of the department.

Rosemary I'm a control freak so I couldn't risk leaving things too late - I am also due 1/1/15 so can't take advantage of the sales. As long as you have the basics in ready to use if needed then you can probably use the sales to your advantage!

Kate I can't believe you are working another 6 weeks - I'm done in 4 weeks (using up annual leave as well) and am counting down!

Mads & Bilbo I'm going to ask my mw today abt where baby is lying - One minute I think it's transverse and the next I think it's vertical! Have a scan on Thursday so can always find out then as well.

Had dental check this morning - all fine there! Phew!
Ah well, off to the midwife now!

Cheshire I didn't want to start my maternity leave until 1st jan so I could get full pay over the christmas holidays. I have 7 days left of holiday so I'm taking them before everyone breaks up for christmas so hopefully leaving 12th december. I can't wait!! :)

Oh and my midwife felt where my baby was. She could feel the bum and the head haha. I've got another appointment on friday so I'll look forward to see if baby has moved at all.

And good luck with the mw cheshire!!

thanks, sleepisforthetired sorry, meant just 'midwife appointment'. I had one at 24 weeks where my midwife just felt the size of my uterus and mentioned that measuring will begin at my 28 week check. But I realised that although I have a 31 week appointment, nothing has been arranged for a 28 week, neither from my community midwife or the hospital. Should probably chase that up...

Can I have a little rant? Everyone keeps pointing out that I'm very 'compact' or 'tidy' and that I've put no weight on anywhere or people I work with mention that I can't be getting lots of cravings or that my appetite must not have increased, but it's often said in that accusatory tone of voice and I want to shout at them "I'm eating plenty thank you! My snacks now consist of chocolate bars dunked in something runnier than a chocolate bar or half blocks of cheese or chunks of butter which I prise of a fridge-cold block with a spoon! I am not hungry, I am not starving myself, I eat what I want, when I want it, leave me alone!" Dh has kindly said that whether I've put on no weight or loads of weight, everyone would have something to say about it as I'm pregnant woman.

Has anyone else been having to smile through 'helpful' advice?

jobrum it's only my first pregnancy but from what I've experienced so far, your husband is right. I have the opposite: I've put on loads and the comments are sometimes really hurtful. They're all the more hurtful that I used to be morbidly obese a year ago and seeing myself piling on the stones is waking up all sorts of buried fears/feelings. I've even found myself lying to strangers about my due date because otherwise I know some will comment on how big I am

As for unhelpful/unsolicited advice... I'm not even pretending to be polite anymore and I just deliberately ignore it, making sure my body language shows that too!

Calling I hope you're feeling a bit better after yesterday's cry? I find a good cry often helps, even if just temporarily :)

I'm feeling quite positive at the moment. Totally exhausted due to insomnia and baby waking me up kicking at 5.30 every day, and in pain with my pelvis and back, but emotionally a lot better than I did two weeks ago.

I think this is because (1) I was finally honest with my boss about what I can no longer cope with (2) we have ordered/booked pram and decorator which were both stressing me out (3) while DH is always affectionate and loving, we hadn't dtd for ages and as I've got a lot bigger recently I was beginning to feel all unattractive, but we fixed that this weekend (4) I've just decided to stop beating myself up if I have to cancel plans or say no to work, which is a mental switch that just seems to have lightened the load a lot.

I know I don't have a toddler to look after at the same time, and obviously you can't just say no to that, but maybe think about practical things you could do to pick yourself up? Is it feasible for you to get back to the UK for a weekend with your parents, for example?

(I hope this doesn't sound patronising; it's definitely not intended to be.)

Madrigals and bilbo it is hard not to take any comments quite personally isn't it, like its not just a comment on size (which is bad enough!) but is a comment on the choices you're making for your baby. And often they come from women who have had children already - have they forgotten how it feels! Like I have any crontrol over how my uterus grows or when my body wants to store fat!

Dm told me that when she was pregnant with me the advice was to not lift your arms in the air in case this caused the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby and strangle it. She said it was very inconvenient when trying to reach a shelf or hang out washing! So at least now we can wave our hands in the air without someone telling us off!

Sk28 - you are so right! Great advice to think of yourself (and bubba) and take it easy while you can.

We put so much pressure on ourselves sometimes/ it's crazy!

Jobrum - how funny about the umbilical cord! Last pregnancy towards the end I found lifting my arms up (eg to hang washing) tricky as it did funny things to my blood pressure- but I carried on regardless. I'm sure that's not why DS was born with the cord around his neck. Hmmm (he was fine btw.)

Bilbo maybe it's the transverse lie making us big!!

Oh I wish madrigals But it'd be one hell of a transverse baby that'd also make me put on weight around my thighs, my bum, my arms, my back, my face...

jo you're right! It's exactly how it makes me feel: guilty! I feel like a bad mother who isn't thinking about the health of her child

Something really embarrassing happened at work about that size thing. Several of us are pregnant and there's been the usual bet (date, weight, etc). Everyone has put my poor baby and my poor vagina down as a 9lber. Thing is she is bang on 50th centile and for some reason I burst I to tears at home because I know people just assumed that because I'm so fat, my baby will be fat too. Obviously it didn't really make sense to DH when I explained but in my hormonal lay charged mood at the time I felt very embarrassed when I compared to the other ladies' odds of nice 6-8lbs babies.

madrigals I do hope your placenta has moved up! How worrying this all is... Who said pregnancy was the most natural thing in the world??? And thanks for reassuring me! You'd be proud though, because I didn't google it!! I'm anxious enough as it is and I force myself not go and visit Dr Google. I have a mw appointment in a fortnight and I'll ask her then Transverse position is weird though. I always sleep on my right side and that's where her feet are. It's almost like she pushes up with her legs!! It keeps me awake!!

callingallengels I'm alone here too! Well no, that's not true, I have a handful of very good friends. But I can't always bother them when I need help! If my parents or my sister lived closer, I would love it! And ILs aren't the same. I can't just call my mil every evening to moan, can I. Whereas my mum is always up for the job of shoulder to cry on Poor mum

Rosemary If there are very specific things you want for baby, I wouldn't wait as you never know what will be on sale or not. If you have several options and don't mind compromising, then go for it! You only really need the basics to start with. The one thing I'd have ready though is the car seat and somewhere (even temporary) to sleep with basic essentials. Just in case your little bean decides to come at 37 weeks

I went to my mw appointment today - new midwife who was ok but not as nice as the others I've seen - and baby is measuring around 70-75 percentile so following the growth chart nice and evenly at the moment.

We discussed my "birth plan" which I was already going to be flexible about as you never know what might happen. She asked if I had any preferences and I said possibly using the birthing pool but other than that I was flexible and would like to try and keep mobile. Her reply... "well there is no point putting the pool down - you have GD so will be hooked up to monitors so won't be able to use the pool or be that mobile"

I came back with the fact that my GD levels are only slightly raised so would I really need that level of monitoring and she just said "probably" so essentially there is no point in having a birth plan if you have GD! Great!

We then discussed my feeding plan - she presumed I want to bf, which I do, but I don't think she ever asked what my preference was! She got out a knitted boob and toy doll to demonstrate bf positions and said I'd get more info on that at NCT.

Only thing of slight concern was that she also picked up ketones in my urine - apparently you get those when you are dieting so she started to lecture me on eating - I stopped her dead and told her I was following an eating plan from the diabetes team and that I was certainly not dieting!

All in all, not the best mw appointment! She was ok, don't get me wrong, but just seemed a bit too blunt compared to the others I've seen. Back to see the mw in 3 weeks and in the meantime I get to see my little smudgey on Thursday when I got for my growth scan! yay! I have a clinic appointment then as well so will ask whether I'm likely to get an induction due to GD or not... I want to know so I can plan!!!

That reminds me, still no letter with my diabetes appointment (which is due by Wednesday) so I better chase that up!!!

Feel7ng much better today thanks sk - have been taking it easy and ds has been an angel today. He is currently transfixed by the Wizard of Oz

I think every now and again I need to remind dh that I'm struggling and I'm not infallible. I tend to be the positive can do person in our relationship. Sometimes I just need to remind him to pull his weight with DS. He's quite a negative person and during my 1st pg he was in a really bad bout of depression so wasn't much support. He's 100x better than that now, but still gets hung up on "poor me" and is not always very supportive and sympathetic.

Today have done a bit of light housework and ds and I made some yummy cinnamon rolls. Other than that not attempting to do anything else. No social engagements this week or weekend so can properly relax at home, just lots to get done at work tomorrow, but without a toddler it feels like a piece of cake!

Won't be going back to UK now and tbh that would probably tire me out even more at this stage.

I think getting work done for ML will make a big difference, so just need to plough through and get it sorted. Baby room is done so no stress there. I am so looking forward to ML. Roll on 27th November!

Thanks Mads! The mw did mention expressing today but said that if needed they would help in hospital - I think I might try and have a couple of syringes full just in case.

re unwanted comments on size - someone at work recently asked when I was due. I confirmed and they said "ooh, your not going to make it too January".

I replied "Neither will you with comments like that!" Whilst I know it was not intended to be hurtful its a lack of thought at times.

So long as this baby is ok, I will worry about the impact on my body another day. Its not like I was going to be a stripper once they start school

I will always do my best for my children. That will never mirror someone else's choices at every turn, so each to their own - and I must remember not to allow my knickers to get in a twist when they are judging me (SIL I am glaring in your direction...)

jo I have had so many size comments and they're driving me crazy. I'm avoiding the staffroom because everyone seems to feel like they have to make a comment every time they see me. If I hear "is it twins?" one more time, I won't be responsible for my actions! I haven't even put on that much weight on yet and it's mostly on my bump and boobs (7kg so far and with ds I put on 15 during whole pg). I know people are just making conversation, but enough people!

So long as this baby is ok, I will worry about the impact on my body another day. Its not like I was going to be a stripper once they start school

Darn, there was me thinking I could easily change career path I love the "neither will you" comment. I'm fed up enough to use it at work now!!!

CallingallEngels Isn't 7 kilos the norm anyway? Are they that rubbish at making small talk that they turn something perfectly normal into an insult?

I've always been careful around pregnant women: I never make any comment on anything pregnancy related, I just asked questions! It's the safest thing (and most polite) thing to do. And even then, my questions are pretty general as I don't want them to feel like they have to share private medical info with random colleagues and acquaintances!!!

bilbo, that's terrible! It's amazing how some things just aren't as easy to laugh over now! I find it interesting how it's men at work who didn't ask if I was pregnant until it was clearly obvious, commenting that they never say anything unless certain! Where as a woman I work with asked me when I was about 12 weeks (but asked my team members first) when I looked just bloated and felt it and said that it's showing on my top half! So I was bloated with conspicuously large tits!

callingalleagles I understand what you mean. My dh has suffered very bad depression and I often find myself turning into superwoman as when he's been very bad he just can't manage anything. I don't think he's used to me leaving things or asking for help and I'm having to get used to asking for help rather than carrying on and ending the day shattered. Glad your dh is better at the moment, that must be so hard to cope with when pregnant.