April 2015 thread 2 for miscarriage survivors. today we are pregnant!

[TinyTear]

Thread 2
Nearly at the 12w mark for all and we can start some stats!

14+0

smiling I can completely relate to those feelings. During my 2nd pregnacy I had a major breakdown one night just wanting my DS, I felt terrible like I was rejecting DD when I love her too. It's happened in this pregnancy too wanting DD but accepting that this baby can never be her.

It is another stage of grief needed to help me accept the passing of my previous baby and to full accept that this baby can't replace DS &DD but is equally wanted and loved and now needs to be my primary focus. The breakdown allows me to let go a little accept I have no reason for feeling guilty that there is another baby. But its utterly terrifying when it happens.

when i look at my DD, I think she is herself, she is this amazing person and if the 3 mcs i had before her hadn't happened I wouldn't have her...

(trying to be positive)

little thats exactly how I feel, ive been a bit tearful today but nowhere near last nights epic meltdown.

just had my flu jab and am now having a lie down whilst dp and dsc carve pumpkins

Hello all,

smiling hope you are feeling better. With dd I was very tearful throughout pregnancy (which I am not normally). This pregnancy I am just angry!! Lovely you can take your dc with you to work. (Not sure it would work in my male orientated engineering department.) It does sound like you have a lot on your plate at the moment so it is only natural at times it will all get too much.

tiny my MIL said that to me after my 1st mc. She had 3 mcs before my DH and in a horrible way I am glad she had them otherwise I would not have had dh. So I always think that without my mcs I wouldn’t have dd – looking on the positive. Well done on the GD test!! Did you have some cake to celebrate?

Lila where we are there is a market for home hairdressers and in my old house I had one with a ds the same age as dd and she would bring him along too. It meant that it all took a bit longer to do as we both had to deal with our little ones but was a win-win for both of us.

London childcare is expensive isn’t it? I think the worst thing is that the girls earn so little for doing it but it costs us so much out of our salaries.

little hope you are not going to stir-crazy. Tomorrow is meant to be very nice – do you have somewhere outside you can rest? Impressed at the a-level study. Will you take the a-levels or is it purely just for fun? Why did you decide on maths and chemistry? How are the hats going?

Had my 16 week mw check today. She found the heartbeat quickly and it was really strong. I have also had a couple of really strong Braxton hicks which have made me squeal out loud and she reassured me about them. Had one yesterday in the office and everyone looked round to check I was ok.

Not sure if it is because I am feeling quite positive about the pregnancy at the moment, but work is really annoying me at the moment. My bosses’ boss is blaming me for not progressing things on my last maternity leave and giving me targets which are impossible to achieve (as the people who need to implement it have opposing targets) and all I keep thinking is ‘I can’t be bothered anymore as I won’t be here to deal with it in 6 months time.’ That isn’t me at all.

smiling so glad your feeling better today.

LIG do you think this guy is trying to push you out? Seems like bullying raids to undermine you.

I don't think I need to register for exams until January so we will see how this pregnancy turns out. If its badly then I will at least take the AS part this year. If all goes well then I'll probably delay it but I do want to officially take them at some point.
Although I've always said I would be a SAHM mum I also like the idea of going to university (best not leave till much later they are free for now in Scotland but who knows for how much longer) and at least just have the option of a career by the time DC is school age.
Even thought we have sort of been planing on Home schooling, I'm very aware that a parents education level may also influence a childs educational attainment.

For now I'm planning on doing Chemistry, Maths and Biology. I'm really loving Chemistry at the moment it's helping to keep my mind occupied instead of spending all my waking hours worrying about the baby.

Lig I've started my hat production line.

Why I chose Maths and Chemistry? Do you know its a bit of a mystery! I'm defintely a humanities sort of person my fantasy degree for a long time was Classics, I love ancient history.
But I've developed a bit of a passion for sciences too, surprisingly I'm not too bad at them.
My old high school (a dreadful place) really mucked up my science and maths levels realised to late and I couldn't change for standard grades (scottish version of GCSE) but allowed me to try them at Highers because my ex Physics teacher was really excited a girl was interesting in Physics. But by that point my maths just wasn't up to scratch and I had to change again.

Plus I have to be realistic at almost 30 I'm a late starter and I need to be practical, those with science degrees seem to earn better.

Can't want to see the hats

I've always been a languages and history person, ended up doing advertising and marketing at uni

Maths and chemistry and stuff were always my least favourite subjects...

little - I think he would quite happily get me out. He has been in his position for 2.5 years and he has got rid of all but one of his direct reports and he is trying to get rid of him too. I think for me, I am the wrong age, wrong gender, don't play golf and therefore anything I say must be stupid. I am used to it with generally older men from a time when women did not work in engineering, but usually they come round within a few months. luckily he put a new boss between us so I don't have to deal too much with him and my new boss doesn't get why this guy doesn't rate me when other people at his level and previous bosses have done.

I am very impressed at your studying little and good you are using your bed rest wisely. I would watch daytime tv and moan how bored I am!

LIG he sounds like a prize Dick. I've heard it's a bit of an issue in Engineering (DH degree was related) and pretty much an issue for men of a certain generation.
There is a really interesting thread in the Feminism section about women's careers and the extra hurdles they face.

Trust me I watch plenty of Netflix and moan too there is too many hours in the day. I feel bad for all of you lot busy with careers whilist I spend the day deciding between my armchair and bed.

Tiny I'm no good at modern languages, you know the useful ones but I'm still tempted to try out Latin or Ancient Greek for A level too.

babies don't feel bad you deserve the mornings to re-charge. Not quite in the same league but DH is HFA it certainly keeps life interesting.
I go through period of feeling like its going fast. I can't believe I'm almost 16 weeks but at the same time each day drags in for me.

Mostly I just feel like a ticking time bomb.

babie I feel like ive been pregnant for ages so its definitely not going fast for me although that may be because there was only 2mths between my mc and getting pregnant again so ive been pregnant for nearly the whole of this year.

Good luck on your studies little I keep thinking I should start looking at getting some different qualifications, im highly qualified in childcare and love my job but keep thinking that when this family no longer need me do I really want to start over again with a new family, thing is I have no idea what else I want to do.

smiling that was/is exactly my dilemma with nannying. When I was in London the pay was excellent but we don't want to live there and its not the best career as you age with few securities. I had the same feeling in my last job, in it for 3 years and two fantastic families, I wanted to go out on a high.

Plus I need an alternative life plan if having a family doesn't work nannying other people's children will just be too painful. It has helped me feel a lot more calm and in control of my future.

I've been pregnant on and off for 2.5 years I may as well be an elephant!

Ive been with this family for 6 years and have been told that they want me to stay for the next 4 years which im happy with, it means beany will be starting school so seems a good time for a career change, I just dont know what ill do.

smiling 6 years! That is a long time most of my jobs have been 3 years.

I would start off with maybe looking at A levels that interest you (they are pretty easy to arrange as a private candidate and cheap too) see if that sparks an interest in a particular degree.

Youngest charge was 6mths when I started and they want me to stay till he is at senior school.

I do have a degree in child psychology so maybe I should use it, alternatively I considered counselling with a special interest in miscarriage as I found it so hard to find a counsellor who understood, mine is amazing.

im sure ill figure it out eventually.

Hey, where's everyone today?

I have some good news to share - my GTT test came back normal :)

Back to work for me now....

Yay london good news!

I have been fairly busy and also unwittingly offending people in the main April group...

tell me ladies, is this offensive or was I just misunderstood:

• -

I said it before and will say it again... girls are not all rainbows and kittens... my nearly 3yo can fart and burp with the best of men and likes playing bottomball (a game she made up)

sigh

London great news.
Tiny WTF your totally right! How could that be offensive?
For one thing my two ex charges same age different families, the girl well she was all about poo joke and befriending worms the boy on the other hand would be mortified. His impeccable manners (even at 3!) was enough to make any Head Mistress of a finishing school proud.

You are.

It seems was just this one person who took offence. Thought I was criticising her with my sigh... Although my sigh was that my lovely daughter let one rip when breast feeding... No escape for me...

Oh Tiny I wouldn't worry about what you said. I didn't find what you said offensive in the slightest. As a matter of fact, I'm rather relieved. Both DH & DS said that they would prefer Bunny to be a bit of a tomboy

Maybe the one who took offence was having a bad or she's hormonal?

Great news london :)

tiny one thing I've learnt on here is that the mere mention of gender brings out the easily offended brigade.

Does anyone else still have morning sickness? I'm 15+4 and I've been sick twice today - I've still been feeling a bit queasy here and there but not actually been sick for a few weeks now. Not sure if I have a little bug or not

Some nausea at times yes... A friend who is 24 weeks is still getting attacks of hyperemesis and going to hospital on occasions... Eases off but doesn't go completely

shetland yes to MS but its not as frequent lately. I'm always queezy in pregnany sometimes it worse than actually being sick.

Tiny that's pretty much like with all the women in my family HG has them in and out of hospital all the way through pregnancy. The worst was my mothers with me who was hospitalised for almost 3 months she's had the worst case I've ever heard of. after my first bout of MS ever I called her up to apologise.