April 2015 thread 2 for miscarriage survivors. today we are pregnant!

[TinyTear]

Thread 2
Nearly at the 12w mark for all and we can start some stats!

14+0

Still?

Not sure I am sane anyway!

Ok its probably more accurate to say id be more insane than I am normally

Good luck with your appointment Little

Thanks Shetland. My scan was all normal.

Chili No judging from me either. If I could I would start maternity leave early, but we can't afford it.

LIG I don't think that I can work more on the days that I am at work. My DH won't be able to cope with Bunny and my DS's after school activities. Plus with his job, I can never rely on him to do school pick ups. My dilemma will be what to do if my boss won't accept the part time hours.

Little My DH suggested getting an au pair but most agencies said no to caring for a baby, must be at least 2 years old. As for nanny, I'm not sure how to go about finding one with job share. I have contacted agencies about nannies but it actually works out much more expensive than putting Bunny in a nursery.

Tanny congratulations to making it to 28 weeks. What a fab milestone :)

I discovered last week my downstairs neighbour just got a nanny for their 1yo girl... ideally in a year, I would suggest to them a share where it would be cheaper for everyone and they nanny would look after the 2yo and my nearly 1yo...

unfortunately the nursery where my DD went from 10 months has closed and the one she goes now only takes them from 2 (so will be September 2017...)

Glad your scan went well london

There are ways to make having a nanny cheaper, would you consider a nanny with their own child, around here if you take your own child to work with you, you earn 20% less than a nanny who doesnt. Your also only paying one lot of childcare for both your children as your nanny would do school runs, look after sick children so you wouldnt need to take time off work and have your son in holidays at no extra cost.

Alternatively have you considered a childminder?

Tiny that sounds like an ideal childcare set up!

Smiling how would I go about finding nannies? I don't mind if they brought their own child with them. I'm not happy about child-minders. Most of the child-minders round my area do school runs and I'm not entirely comfortable with this, especially in the cold and rainy weather.

Theres nanny agencies but obviously you have to factor in their fee which can be hefty.

if you feel capable and confident in advertising and thoroughly checking references then there are websites.

childcare.co.uk and nanny job.co.uk are the ones id stick with opposed to gumtree BUT check references I really really cant stress that enough.

of course i haven't talked to them about it... and as they rent they might move before then... fingers crossed, we shall see...

It seems I've been right to bury my head in the sand. Our mortgage scheme doesn't include holidays. Fuck knows what we're going to do. No income, no mat pay and £700 mortgage to find every month. Can't even begin to say how awful this feels. Serves me right for thinking things would work out.

Tiny lets hope that they are long term rentals.

Tanny Can you ask your bank whether you can reduce your payments? For example, increase the term of your mortgage from 25 to 30years? We can't have a mortgage holiday either but the bank proposed the above solution. Good luck.

Tanny I thought you could have maternity allowance

Nope, nothing doing. Very unhelpful man who said if I find myself unable to pay the mortgage nearer the time that I should call them to discuss options, but then that would affect my credit rating. I wouldn't feel it so much if it hadn't been that we chose Santander the first time because of the mortgage holiday, and then weren't told about it not being there when we arranged the second one with them. If my first, second, third, or fourth pregnancy had been goers, we would have been able to use the holiday option. Sorry but I really need to say it... cunts...

That's is terrible. How unhelpful.. Can you try and change to interest only for the maternity leave duration...

Talking it through with DH has helped, but I still need to go to CAB and discuss all our options. I will get mat allowance, but that is it at the moment. We haven't been claiming any tax credits up until now. DH has a reasonable income, but it is all tied up in bills, maintenance to his ex, and groceries. My salary pays the mortgage and childminder. Obviously I will save on childminder costs once I start mat leave. We will talk to the mortgage company again once I know what our income will be, and see what agreement we can reach.

Sorry for my rant earlier, I had no one to talk to and it suddenly made me feel so hopeless and angry. At 42 I thought I'd be a bit more grown up...

992
Going to make a new thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2255662-April-2015-and-some-Marchies-miscarriage-survivors-cant-believe-were-half-way-there

This thread is now...

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