February 2015 #4 - Scans, glows, and shopping galore!

[freneticfox]

Onwards we go, gals!

STATS

Yes to extra leeks! Had my midwife appointment today I am measuring a week ahead my OH thinks baby is going to be a week early as every symptom I have is a week early than it says on my app tried telling him it doesn't quite work like that!!

Nausea seems to stay with me, on and off, throughout pregnancy. Sure that it probably is something to do with everything moving around, combined with hormones. Mines compounded at the moment by taking antibiotics, but I'm still managing a daily bowl of ice cream, so it's not too bad

I didn't get night sweats last time. Bet I get them this time but being winter will save me putting heating on

I can feel definate elbows tonight and I also had a lump on the one side of belly tonight....clearly a little bottom...he was tweking I reckon

Today I went to h&m and bought a black parka, belly band and a new wooly hat (to go with my million other hats and obv needed for pregnancy)

I understand Memphis, those of us who work outdoors just need hats
I've packed my bag ready to head north straight from work tomorrow, just hoping I've remembered everything. Also I ache like anything today yet didn't feel like I did nearly as much 'physical' as yesterday. Well wierd. Only tomorrow morning at work then off to my mum's, let's hope it's at least slightly relaxing.

Evening all. Just caught up on all the posts, had to laugh at some of them!

Don't worry frenetic the night sweats weren't hot ones just very wet!

Just got back from dinner out with DP, it was our anniversary. 7 years and still no ring... Although I did get home from work to a massive bunch of flowers which was lovely. He just doesn't do romance normally so feeling very loved

I knew you would understand geeky I have also been aching more today than ever just feeling totally full of baby and tight when moving.

Bang you need to hint for a ring, when we had ds we thought we wouldn't marry and I told dh I expected an eternity ring once baby arrived being unromantic he told me to go and look for one found an amazing one for £699 (had said I only wanted one for about £200) he agreed but said need to wait 3 months and it thst time it went up £200 in price

Things I've had a bit of nausea towards the end of day for a few days now. I think you're right, it's our stomachs being pushed up. I'm going to try and paste below an image that I keep flashing to DP whenever we finish eating.

I had a lot of extra discharge 12 days ago. Midwife asked me to go in to check all okay, it was, and culture took said I'd thrush. Very common in pregnancy and as I was on antibiotics expected. Day after I finished biotics I did a canesten treatment (perssary) and it's cleared up. TMI alert progesterone perssary up the back and canesten front was slightly ridiculous that evening!!

Our bellies

Feels like I've food stuck below my oesophagus. Is this indigestion? If so can one of our resident indigestion specialists remind me what I can take from over the counter?

Viper this is what I feel like with heartburn/indigestion, feels like food sits near my throat then it seems to start to burn/ feel acidy the longer it sits there for until I take a remigel

Uurgh, feeling a bit yucky too- I ended up taking a glass of milk to bed with me which did actually do wonders for the heartburn, which was trying to eat me alive. And this morning a just feel uurgh- a bit off in the bum department, if that's not tmi!

Anyone having weird dreams?
I dreamt I pooed baby out last night and he ended up in the u bend. Think because I'm struggling with the loo yet again. Think I'm going to bite the bullet and just resign myself to taking lactulose everyday until bean is here.

Donkir I have very odd dreams they go from utterly scary to completely strange

Bang thanks for the reassurance! Not hot sweats just wet....hmmmm . I didn't get the memo either.

Happy to report my cervix is 38mm long and closed. Now fingers crossed for my arteries, uterus etc to play the ball. We managed to have a sneaky peak at our girlie after the cervix scan as I'm being paranoid(can't help it after our mega scare) that I can only feel occasional bubbles but she was very active. A progress scan in 2 weeks time. We'll have so many pics of her, they are just giving them to us now

Sorry for the long post, but feeling pretty low today. Had a chat with DH about paternity leave and he said he doesn't want to apply for it as he will get stick (or in my words bullied) for it. He knows he is entitled and that they have to give it to him, but he doesn't even want to apply. Thing is - he has Crohns Disease and stress makes it worse. He was having problems last night even talking to me about it. The last thing I want is that, so I said it was his decision and that I wouldn't bring it up again, but to be honest I'm now quite worried about those first few days home with the baby without him as support. Up until now I'd been pretty chilled about the first few weeks as although it's our first, we have 9 nieces and nephews between us and friends who have had babies, and I'm happy to go with the flow as far as baby's needs are concerned and depending on what the baby is like. However I know I will be exhausted from the birth and the lack of sleep in the weeks before and that the first few days will be tough even with him, but the thought of being by myself in the days after we come home is depressing. I know that when I'm tired I don't want to eat at the best of times. I know that generally once baby is born attention is focused on the baby,not the mother, but I was hoping that DH would at least be looking out for me.

MIL is wonderful and will be a great help in that she can look after the baby while I have a bath, make cups of tea, wash up etc and I'm hoping she might bring extra dinner with her on her visits, but I don't think I will be able to relax enough to nap with her in the house. My sisters all have there own families and lives and my DM died almost 10 years ago so there isn't anyone else. I was looking at getting a post-natal doula last night as an option, but I don't feel I'll need help with baby stuff more like general household stuff that can't be put off.

He has said that he would take a week off in the early days, but in reality that means booking a week when his boss isn't on one of his numerous holidays and we will have to book a week in March when I know baby will have definitely have arrived rather than one when I might not have given birth yet. I will eventually find the best to to sort this, but today I am feeling sorry for myself and particularly hormonal and alone in this. Wish I wasn't at work today.

Grinning oh my, I really feel for you has he thought about what he plans to do for labour? Not all women just pop a baby out i was in active labout for 44 hours and dh was exhausted himself (I had contractions for days before that) from being with me and there is no way he would have been able to work he struggled to function on the 20 min drive from hospital to home.

In practical terms if you really think he won't have at least a few days off now is the time to get organised have you got a freezer with space for batch cooking? I have started doing weekly chilli, bolognaise and making one portion too much and freezing it so we will end up with about a week or so of meals...if not does Mil so you can make a few stews etc in slow cooker and freeze them (maybe by doing this she may think oooh I could make a few too)

Also what things around the house? Ironing and cleaning are my worry....my mum has already said she will take my ironing home (she also took my washing for first week last time) if you have no one who can help with things like this and dh is at work explain you will need to hire a cleaner/ironer for a couple of hours a week for first month?

Stsrt stocking up on nappies, wipes and heavy things that don't go out of date like bottles of pop and tins (a few less things to buy once baby arrives) also buy extra vests amd muslins/bibs for baby, things you may go through that you can leave for a few days before washing

Helping you nap etc will you be breast feeding? If you do once he is home and baby is fed sneak to bed for a bit.

Sorry for my long ass post

Grinning I've had similar conversations with my dp. Our problem being DP is self employed so will notget paid for anytime off.
Last time I had my mum to help and for support but like yourself this time she won't be around.
I struggled a lot last time and have explained this to dp as I feel I will really need him to keep me calm and rationalised as I'm scared how I will cope without him.
He has agreed to take 2 weeks off when I have baby but we are still in a heated discussion about half term (really busy at work for him) and if baby is born then.

Donkir I do wonder what Dh's boss will make of it if I end up going over due and he is on paternity for half term...he is having one week paternity one week hol but they have a blanket ban on hols in half term, his boss was annoyed that ds was born in summer hols as hols are his busiest time......lucky for his boss he doesn't know how scary I am so will be in for a nasty shock if he tries to stop dh having time off

aw Grinning- that's rubbish- can't believe that in this day and age men will still get stick for paternity leave.

Still, if there's absolutely no way it'll happen, thinking practically, I think what Memphis said sounds really sensible, and perhaps he could squeeze in the odd day or two of holiday here and there so you don't feel too abandoned? Don't know about his place, but I know everywhere I've worked have been far more amenable to people having the odd day off at short notice if it's quiet, so you might get lucky

D'ya think you'd be able to get a cleaner in for a few hours a week to do the critical stuff?

grinning is it just paternity leave he is worried about or time off in general? Could he take it as annual leave instead, if that would be seen in a better light by the team?

I'm sorry you won't have your mum there to help :( Hopefully you will feel more relaxed about napping while MIL is around as you'll be too exhausted to care haha.

Great news on your cervical length Sand that's 4mm than me last week and I'd a huge improvement as well. What's the plan for the next weeks for you?

Grinning that's a tough situation for you and your DH, there's dome good advice on here. I'd def rec getting a cleaner / home help a few days a week.

I was thinking about getting a doula for the first few days home as it's our first and we've no family here and friends on the other side of town. I was the neighbourhood babysitter of choice since I was 13 with kids as young as 1, but a new born in a whole diff kettle of fish and DP hasn't a clue and relies on His mom for info who thinks swaddling is awful for ex. so I've many a battle ahead. She only had him 42 years ago, I think things have changed since then...

I think a lot of people get freaked out by the idea of swaddling (me included, to start with!) but the way I see it now is

1. They are used to being squished up tight in the womb.
2. If it was horrible and distressing for them, they would let you know! By lots of screaming! haha I am very grateful that my mum is coming all the way from Texas to help me out, she is amazing with babies so she can guide me in my clueless first few days!

Thank you to all of you for your support. It really means a lot having you all here.

Yes I will definitely be stocking the freezer beforehand. It isn't big, but I'm sure I can get a week's worth in there. I will also be stocking up on essentials (food and baby stuff) and will be adding nappies etc to our weekly shopping for the last few months. I already have some stuff from SIL and when I've seen bargains. As far as ironing goes, it can wait. DH doesn't wear shirts to work, and it will be Feb/March so he will have a fleece/jumper on over his wrinkled t-shirts, or he can do it himself for a bit . Hoovering is his job anyway so I'm not worrying about that. I will cope with the practical stuff as baby takes precedent and I will have to.

I am concerned at how tired DH will be going back to work without a rest. I will worry about him driving back and forth tired. I worry about him trying to help me out in the evenings and at night in addition to trying to keep up a weekly evening class when he has a chronic illness. I don't think he realises how much difference having a week off when we can just concentrate getting used to the baby and resting as much as possible would be.

DH's boss is a right bastard and is very exploitative and bullying. I don't think there is a day that goes past when he doesn't make derogatory comments about DH. I wouldn't stand for any of it and would happily take the so and so to court, but it is DH's life and if he doesn't want to pursue it I can't make him, just be there for support.

Can't believe all these workplaces still make it so difficult for men to take their entitled paternity leave! Disgraceful. What are they gonna do when the new legislation on shared parental leave comes into force in April? They'll be forced to address this as they can't just sweep it under the rug. Long overdue I say...

totally agree, teapig. Did anyone watch the Emma Watson speech about equality (as opposed to feminism)- made sooo much sense to me