February 2015 #4 - Scans, glows, and shopping galore!

[freneticfox]

Onwards we go, gals!

STATS

Grinning - that's appalling that he'd be treated that way, you'd think in 2014 that there's more of an even keel on parental responsibility.

Having a horrible day, just want to get home and curl into a ball. Was meant to have a physio appointment this morning (my midwife pushed one through for me) but they called an hour before to say they are short staffed and it was cancelled. When I tried to ask about a reschedule they became rude and obstructive. So I'm back to square one... in a lot of pain and fed up.

Also got a bit more flack at work for not being sensitive enough to other people's feelings relating to my recent absence (due to MS and then back problems). So tired of feeling like I should be apologising for my pregnancy and then made to feel guilty by others for not enjoying the whole experience.

nooo- frenetic that's rubbish. D'ya think your midwife might be able to get you bumped up the queue again?

I hope so. I've left a message with her to get back to me ASAP. It's just one thing after another with this pregnancy.

That's awful. Why can't people just be nice.

grinning that's so rubbish for your DH and you

frenetic. I'm astounded how you are being treated. They should be sensitive towards you!! Do you think you'll go back to work there after mat leave?

My work is being so great that I will feel guilt if I don't go back, even though the people are good, the work was not challenging of enjoyable for me. I really left them in the lurch when I had to leave suddenly and yet they are keeping my job open, a colleague visited me yesterday and the proj mgr is supposed to be as well. I'd only been there 7mths!

Exactly grinning manners cost nothing! Sorry you're going through this frenetic I really think you should put in a complaint about the way you've been treated. In fact it might make you feel a bit better while waiting for your midwife if you start writing your complaint!

The paternity thing is annoying...it's so unfair that men are treated the way they are by their employers.

The cot has arrived and i put it up this morning with DD's 'help' it's not quite as piney as id like but definitely not as yellow as DD's one so I'm pleased with it

Bangles I just watched the speech. This is an issue very very close to my heart. Whether I have a boy or a girl this will be something we instill in them from the start. There's a great website called A Mighty Girl which sells children's book etc with strong female characters from fact and fiction as the protagonist.

Gosh that's so bad grinning I feel really lucky about DH work, he got 2 weeks of compassionate leave when I was in hospital.

Viper seeing the consultant for the next development scan in 2 weeks time. Signed off till the mid November so will see if I can go back to work or not. Managing some walks but not sure about the public transport commute to work at the moment...we'll see.

Can I join in? I'm due 16th Feb, with my second, who looks to be a girl. I already have a 2.5yr old DS. I have PGP, so struggling with that and a toddler.

grinning I'm appauled that attitude still exists in any work place tbh. I really feel for both of you. I think a cleaner might help more than a doula, so you dont need to worry about house work and can focused just on baby. Plus freezer meals - you cannot have too many nice meals already made up ready to just be reheated.

Tbh I had thought it was expected for men to take at least their 2weeks pat leave these days and sometimes add some more leave on using A/L. My dbrother, who is a dad himself, thought a lot less of a employee of his who did not want to take pat leave. I've worked places where guys generally make it so they take 4-6weeks by using 2weeks pat followed by 2-4weeks a/l. DH is taking 2weeks pat, 2weeks full a/l and 2 weeks of 1/2 days a/l (last time he had 2weeks pat, 2 weeks a/l) - its considered normal where he works. All of those working environments were female dominated (just a handful of men) though - wonder if thats what makes the difference?

Hi whyohwhy, I'm due on the 5th and have a 2.4 year old so I know how that goes. Don't suffer from PGP though, I hear that's awful and I imagine it makes life a whole lit tougher.

Frenetic agh thst is shit hope your mw comes through for you.

Grinning he is making the decision not to stand up to his boss and demand paternity leave which he is entitled to.....so please don't worry about him, he made the decision to not demand leave he will be tired which I am sure he knows (if not he will do come Feb) you need to concentrate on you and baby put your own needs first. His boss sounds like an utter arse.....

My friend had a baby 10 days ago her dh works 2 jobs, runs his business in the day and is a chef at night, he went from birth straight to work, first week he worked all these hours and she had a lovely restful week she said baby slept a lot during day which gave her time to rest/sleep whereas if her dh was off she wouldn't have rested as much (and go out shopping/for coffee with her friend) then baby was up a lot at night, then after 7 days he is now on 5 days leave they are having a lovely few days....think positive it (hopefully) will be nice

Regarding Paternity a reminder to you all for your dh/dp to send the letters in to their bosses to apply for it (25 weeks is the deadline)

I have no clue about paternity leave, my dh has only been in this current job for 15 weeks - so not sure what he is entitled to

I'm really lucky my mum retires next April and my dad and in laws are all retired - mil has even offered if I want to stay at hers on nights when dh is on nights she doesn't mind getting up to junior during the night - secretly hoping junior takes after me and apparently I slept really well when I was a baby so fingers crossed

DH's work is very male dominated and is owned by a pair who have no idea about employment law. For example they are also dodgy about health and safety - I seen to remember DH telling me about one, who is also a plumber using an electric saw to cut pipe while standing in a pit full of sewagey water, slipped, almost cut his thumb off (it ended up badly infected), and almost dropped said electric saw in the water and electrocuted himself! What an idiot. Thankfully DH (who is not a plumber) is sensible and makes sure he does things correctly and with PPE.

Mind you to average it out my work is great. My manager, who is male, is really understanding (has 5 children) and my team is dominated by people who are at a similar stage in life (have families or will be soon). It probably helps that I am having a reasonably good pregnacy to date, but another colleague who is pregnant is having general health issues with her pregnancy and she hasn't mentioned that she is being treated any differently. I also get 4 months full pay to start my maternity leave off and I get to keep my lease car. Mind you I did join this company knowing that this was a good place to be for when we started thinking about starting a family .

Wow grinning you and your DH's work seem like they are at totally different ends of the spectrum! I wonder if attitudes to pat leave are generally worse in male dominated workforces and better in female dominated then? Seems daft for men to be doing each other out of their pat rights though.

bag of snakes I've been feeling like a terrible mother tbh, PGP and an energetic toddler in the middle of terrible twos, don't mix. Dont feel like im able to do anywhere near enough with him.

minichuch you need to look it up now - there should be something on direct gov. If he is entitled to anything he'll need to submit the form very soon (as Memphis says deadline is 25week)

Mini he will be entitled to leave but unsure if he will be entitled to any pay so may be worth seeing if he will have holidays he could use instead then he will get pay?

viper that picture perfectly sums up how I feel about eating right now! That's really interesting to see.

Great news about the cervix sand (didn't ever think I would type that sentence!).

grinning that is awful about your DH. You've had some great advice about the practicalities here already so I have nothing new to add but just wanted to say I really feel for you in such a rubbish position. It's frustrating watching someone you care about be treated so appallingly and even worse when it has such a big impact on you and your little one and there is nothing you can do about it.

Argh frenetic! This physio appointment is turning in to a never-ending saga. And autocorrect really wanted me to change that to psychic appointment. At least their wait times are generally shorter I guess :-)

Oh grinning I just had one thought. Do you have a friend that could be around/ on call a bit in the early days to help out? My DH is going abroad for a week when DD will less than 1 week old and I am having a friend move in to help. Could work for you?

Welcome why. I think sometimes we just have to accept we can't do quite as much when pregnant as we could normally. Now if only I could get DH to understand this I'd be sorted.

Thanks Things. I will give the friends idea some thought, but we are pretty much the last in our family and friends to start a family so they mostly already have babies/toddlers already. I think stocking up is the best plan and I know MIL will be round lots although without it being too much. I have lucked out on my ILs.

On a happier note, I have been vastly cheered up by buying the cot on the way home. We had seen the Darlington cot online in antique in Mothercare and I wanted to see if we could Collect it in store at some point. They had one in stock and helped me out to the car with it! I wasn't expecting that. Now we just need to empty the spare room, dump the old Ikea bed, and we are in business!

Feeling for those with pants employers, really is ludicrous in this day and age that employers don't appreciate that looked after employees are actually more productive, have greater loyalty etc as well as it just being common decency. grinning your husband's bosses sound like wankers but as you recognise, it us his decision to tolerate it. I'd still be bringing any suitable vacancies to his attention though!
Wecome why
donkir I've been on a swig if lactulose every morning since 6 weeks I think it's just one of those 'side effects' that some of us are destined to suffer. Luckily no heartburn here (touch wood) so I figure each of us has our own burdens to bear!
Good to hear all the good news bits sand,viper etc.. Got to admit this thread has been busy today and I'm now struggling to remember who's said what! The M1 was a mare so feeling wiped out after our 5.5 hour drive. Time for bed me thinks. Take care all.

Grinning thats a nice positive to end the day.
Dh just got me a maccys sundae and apple pie

Woke up for 3rd morning with a headache cannot find my 4 head stick im ready to cave my own skull in

My dr gave me a list of meds ok to take memphis and Tylenol was on that. Nurse at hospital gave me an icepack to use the other day as a first cure and that worked really well too

We got the pram today, went for a bugaboo cameleon! It's so pretty, I just want to play with it! Going to be a long wait til baby arrives!
That is all the big stuff purchased, feels good as can now turn attention to Christmas!

Which colour did you go for long ? I like the blue greeny or orange. Did you buy a car seat too? It's on my top of the list at the moment...just waiting to make my move. It has good reviews on the which? website.

Nice choice long. I'm after a stokke scoot, had the xplory with DS1, but have to sell my P&T to part fund it. Have not had many nibbles. From what I've noticed here, people seem to buy the frame you put car seats on and then they get a crappy little umbrella stroller for $20 which looks awful for teeny babies. Very much a car centric city, so I guess that is why.

Black and red, with maxi cosi car seat.
I liked the look of the scoot, but the newer version after reading reviews!
There are so many to choose from, I'm hoping the bugaboo will last for baby as had a few with DD!