January 2015 #6: scans galore, bumps starting to show

[sunshineandbiscuits]

New thread for Team January! Here are the stats.

*long

l will be 21 weeks on my scan date. I'm only at 11+4 today, hate my dates being put back.

Oh! I see! At my repeat scan I thought I was 15 weeks and they put me back to 13. Otherwise I'd be in December now :-)

Have pm-ed you back Calling - I am useless sorry!!

Blizzard - that must be really reassuring for you. I meet with consultant first week of August but I'm doubt I'm will be as productive. Very pleased for you as seems they will support you all the way through xx

Hope all is ok blizy? I have been away so perhaps missed the general gist of this. Anyway hope your ok and sounds really positive all the extra scans etc. We are well looked after :) x

Blizy glad it all went well today. Are the additional scans and 38w delivery a precaution because of the issues during the pregnancy with your DD? Do they think there's a chance of insufficient placenta again or are they just being super cautions?

*cautious

Vivi, there is a slight risk it at happen again, so they are being cautious. A lot of it is also for peace of mind.

Keep I'm good, baby is good just keeping. Close eye on things this time.

Ah I see. Glad to hear it's just precautionary - sounds like you're in good hands

I'm sorry in advance for the me me me post, but I'm upset and conflicted about what to do. I've not been around for a few days so have a lot of catching up to do too.

Here's the thing- my mother is an alcoholic and has been since I was 4. I had a terrible time growing up, coming home from school to find her passed out drunk and being terrified she was dead was a regular occurrence as an 8 yr old. She fell down the stairs 6 months ago and with being in hospital and staying with family friends she wasn't drinking and said she was going to stay that way. She's now living in France and I'm due to go and stay the day after tomorrow and I've just found out she's drinking again.

She was so happy to hear of my pregnancy and I told her that I couldn't include her in my life if she was to carry on drinking and she promised she wouldn't. And of course she has lied. I'm due to go to France without my DH and now I just don't want to go, but friends are already there. I'm just devastated, which is stupid because I should never have hoped so much. I have my 12 w scan at 8.30 tomorrow too, which is supposed to be exciting and I'm just feeling terrible. Sorry again.

So here I am away with work . Coping quite well considering DH is no longer around and feeling the size of a house. Any way today i little bird AKA the office gossip who annoying is almost never wrong told me that they will be 'letting me go' at the end of the month . I thought something was up and feared they were trying to drive me out when they started changing my responsibilities to include a lot of travel and late meetings and difficult to achieve targets. I haven't even been in this job that long. Bugger! Wondering who the hell is going to want to employ me when I'm going to have a tone of maternity leave at the end of the year start of next year? Ha, so anyone else facing the prospects of doing this whole pregnancy / baby thing on the breadline or on benefits?

Sorry MightyQuin1201 post overlap. I'm sorry to hear your dilemma. If really can't cope to being around her and I don't blame you can you stay somewhere else like the same hotel or villa as your friends for example? I hope the friends you have over there and that DH is very supportive. Remember you do not have to do anything you don't want to. Be brave and stay strong you are a perfect judge of what you can and can't cope with so only do and give as much as you can cope with no more.

Oh mighty, sorry to hear about your mum. I have no personal experience with alcohol addiction. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't go to France, I know it's not as simple as that though. This is the last thing you need to be worrying about right now. I hope your scan goes well this morning, thinking about you.

Beth, what a horrible situation you are in, I hope life cuts you a break soon. Can you seek some advice/help from citizens advice to see where you stand? I really hope you are ok?

mighty so sorry to hear what you are going through, DH's mum is an alcoholic, he decided to stop seeing her about 5 years ago after lots of nasty arguments. The final straw for him was when she decided she hated me and verbally attacked me. She didn't come to our wedding and doesn't know about the baby. His sister also has no contact with her, she's only 22 but his mum chucked her out for no reason. He feels sad that she can never be the mother he wanted and needed but she never tried to seek help. I think if she did he might let her back in. So what I'm trying to say is I can understand a little of what you're going through and I know how horribly hard and sad it must be. My DH had felt so conflicted for years and constantly worries he'll get a phone call to say she's dead and he won't have seen her, but she was hurting him so much he had to cut her out and is much better off emotionally for doing it. I hope your scan brings you joy though, will you still go to France? Are the friends there supportive?

Midwife today, I'm irrationally worried about it and cried on DH last night, he thinks after 12 weeks it's plain sailing, he has no clue! Also still feeling sick and exhausted and just generally fed up but I feel guilty for saying it because I love the baby and want it, I'm just so knackered. 11 weeks of sickness has really ground me down whilst I'm just supposed to carry on as normal. I've got the whole day off today though and meeting my friend and her 2 month old (the one who said I was smug for not putting on weight!) and then meeting my mum, so should be a nice day I hope.

16+4

Sorry to read about those of you with difficult situations to cope with. Just do what you need to do for you and bump and I hope you find the strength to deal with the conflicts you face.

Saras I hear you on the exhausted front. I'm in bed from 9.30 and sleeping until 7.30! But then still tired by the afternoon!

DH is a music teacher and is starting to play music to smudge. We've also decided to learn some songs to play and me sing. The idea being familiarity once s/he is born. We had a go last night (baby mine - from dumbo film!) and I just cried..DH just smiled at me and said we'd leave it for now!

Oh... forgot... 15+5

I sympathise Mighty -my mum is also a recovering alcoholic.

Hope all goes well today Saras xx

15+3

Mighty I am so sorry to read your post. That must be really hard for you. I don't have any experience personally but I don't think I would go myself, I deffo wouldn't go and stay with her - you did warn her that she needed to stop. Its a horrible horrible illness but you need to concentrate on you at the moment. All the best with your scan!

Beth Sorry to hear your situation too. I am a single parent to DD who will be 6 when this baby comes, and have been since she was 1. I did work when I was pregnant but got made redundant during my mat leave and left my useless twit of an ex shortly after that. Its not easy being a single parent to a little one, but I found it easier than when I wasn't a single parent and he was about. A friend did a lot of temp work when she was pregnant, and I think the money advice service is meant to be helpful to advise of what your position might be financially (I spoke to lone parent advisers at the job centre but I don't think they run that service now). I found there was a lot of support out there.

I don't feel like i have had any sleep, could go another 8 hours easily. I thought energy levels were meant to go up again at this stage??

15+4

Scoobsmam13 Thanks I just found out if I am unemployed near the end of pregnancy I'll get a maternity grant of £500 so suppose you can buy everything with that on a budget. Was shocked to see that since 2011 you only get it for your first child or if all other children are 16 or over! Crazy! Are all mums suppose to keep everything from vests to carseats for 16 years? Hope you'll not be effect by that!

I'm so sorry to hear about your stressful situations mighty and beth I agree you just need to focus on you and the baby and do whatever you need to for self preservation.

cheshire that is the cutest thing ever! We sang the same collection of songs to ds1 when I was pg and he definitely recognised them after he was born, so keep it up. Crying at lyrics is definitely a normal reaction. I cried at 'I hope you dance' on the radio the other day. Sniff.

Mighty, sorry to hear about your DM. My DGM is an alcoholic, and my DM has cut her off. I still keep in touch with her, but it's so horrible never knowing if you're going to get the lovely, kind version or the scary, vicious alcoholic. She's quit drinking a few times and it's so nice, but it's so horrible when it goes back to how it was before.

Beths, I'm also sorry to hear about what you're going through, it seems like it's all come at once. Get yourself a benefit check so you can see what you have to work with if it comes to that. It must be really stressful, but you are strong and will find a way to manage until things get better for you.

Good luck today, Saras.

mighty I'm so sorry, you must be really hurt. Good luck with whatever you decide to do about the trip - at this point it's got to be what's best for you & the little one, your mum has sadly made her own choices. I hope you can really enjoy the scan tomorrow.

And beth I'm sorry too! That sounds rubbish. I hope you can find helpful support to manage the situation.

Cheshire that sounds soooo sweet. I'd probably have cried as well. My DH is very much looking forward to me being 15 weeks next week and the baby being able to hear us, so I think we'll be following you doing something similar.

Saras I feel you on the continued anxiety! I have 2 more weeks till my 16 week appt and it feels like forever since someone has checked up on baby. I hope you have a lovely day after all.

And as for the 2nd trimester energy boost/glow, I think it's a lie to get you through the 1st trimester. Or rather, it's all relative. I have more energy than I did a few weeks ago, but definitely not normal levels - I still need to sleep a LOT. I guess growing a human from scratch is hard work.

13+6!

Cheshire that is so cute, you'll be the next Von Trapps!! I'm making a playlist of songs to play to bump, which I hope will be part of the soundtrack to our lives. My fav is Me Blue Sky by ELO "hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race"

13 + 6