December 2014 Thread #4

[miraculous2]

Stats anyone?!

Is paranoidcoventgarden around? We had our scans at similar times and just wondering how you got on? Look forward to hearing from you. :)

So been up since 5.30 this morning as couldn't get back to sleep, it's scan day yaaay. Been bouncing round the house with excitement. DH in for a long few hours until we head off for it.

Good luck to anyone else who has their scan today.

Goodness me, thread 4....I've no hope of catching up any time soon.

Very pleased to see some scan & bump photos. Keep 'em coming ladies.

Had my scan on Monday, was absolutely bricking it after having the blighted ovum misdiagnosis but baby is fine.....wouldn't play ball & get into position so had to eat chocolate, drink a cold, fizzy drink & walk around for a bit but it did the trick. Hated eating the chocolate as I'm totally off sweet things!

Due date was brought forward from 12th to 8th Dec but will probably be induced in November due to complications/being high risk.
Have been referred to consultant.

Good luck to those having scans shortly.

I'm having a wobbly day. Midwife booking appointment tomorrow, and I'm terrified of being "told off" for my weight.
I've got MH issues related to perceived rejection/aggression/being told off/wanting people to like me. PTSD, personality disorders, etc. They're under control, but sometimes I forget my coping strategies and the anxiety gets the better of me.
I've mentioned all this before, but I'll cover it again just for background; I've also got an underactive thyroid which means I struggle to lose weight in a normal, healthy way, and I was un-diagnosed for a long time, so basically I'm enormous. I was sent to a dietician before my thyroid was diagnosed and they said my diet and activity level is perfect and there's nothing I can change about it that would have a great effect on my weight. So basically, and this isn't a boast, haha! I'm not one of those people who lose weight by suddenly eating more healthily, because I eat healthily and exercise already (notwithstanding the beige carbs I'm eating now I'm pregnant; when I can, I eat properly and healthily).
But all this smacks of someone looking for an excuse for their weight that goes beyond eating all the pies, and I know that. I've had doctors tell me to eat fewer than 1000 calories a day because they simply don't believe that I'm not guzzling takeaways and fry ups every day. I did try that, and I fainted a lot, and didn't lose any weight. How ridiculous.
Besides which, my blood pressure is fine and my menstrual cycles are normal.
So anyway, how do I relay this to the midwife when he/she inevitably tells me I'm fat and I'm going to die, without sounding whiney and like I can't take responsibility for my own body? How do I not burst into tears and just agree that I'm a terrible person and I deserve horrible things to happen to me (because that's my default setting which I'm constantly fighting against)? Waaaaaaaah.
I'm desperate to start enjoying this pregnancy but I also feel like I don't deserve to because I shouldn't be pregnant at all, because I'm too fat and a horrible person etc etc etc, and I'm fully expecting the midwife to support this thought process.
Flowers for you if you got this far and don't want to slap me yet. That's probably what I need.

Yes, I already regret writing all that shit down. Sorry.

to you peace.
I am also overweight, but as I run marathons, lift weights, am constantly entertaining the dog by hiking up hills I had a "I think you'll find I'm fitter than you, so eff off" speech all worked out in my head for the midwife. Didn't need it. Neither midwife or stenographer said anything.
What I found really uplifting about your post is that you are aware of not be ing the ideal weight, and you have a diagnosis. That's brilliant. You know what it is to eat healthily and you will pass that info onto to your bubba, which will be one of the best gifts a parent can give a modern child.
Prepare a "my weight isn't ideal but, in fact, I'm great speech" ~ cause it's true!

Peace, have another hug. I anticipated being bollocked by the mw at my booking in due to being a fatty, so I mentioned it first. Like you, I really struggle to lose weight, but I eat pretty healthily, cycle 18 miles a day (pre-pregnancy), swim a few km a week, and do a lot of walking. My bp, pulse and menstrual cycle were all fine as well.

I've put on 10lbs since my bfp (currently 13+1) pushing my bmi up to 44 (I'm really short as well which skews the stupid bmi thing apparently, not that the mw would take that into account).

She seemed quite taken aback when I asked her if being both old and fat heightened the chance of pre-eclampsia, and I was like, 'well I am, it's fine, you don't have to skirt around it and I don't have to apologise for it'.

I'm well aware that it's not ideal to go into pregnancy at this weight, but there's fuck all I can do about it now except try and eat healthily for the next six months and stay as active as possible. They asked me if I wanted to go to fat pregnant lady clinic as well, I refused.

So yeah, basically what ffallada said .

peace never apologise or regret telling people your real emotions. we are all in a very very similar boats.

I am 13 stone 10 now. I was 13 7 when I started my pregnancy. I was freaked out that midwife and docs would have a go at me. but they were kind. mentioned briefly that if my bmi was over a certain amount that I would have to go to a mum and bump class. told her I work constant nights and that it was ok. I would just keep an eye on it myself and she was fine.

I was all geared up for a fight too.

be kind to yourself. xx

Ffalada, president and drews, thank you so much for your positivity

lovely to see all the scan pics.

i've been away for a few days, and can no longer button my trousers . Wave to shanels, I had the 12 week scan on friday, all good so far, and i've finally told lots of people: family, friends and direct bosses.

Started feeling "normal" again today for the first time in at least a fortnight, was glorious. Feeling a little queasy now but trying to ignore it.

13+3

Peace, just go to your appointment knowing you are eating and exercising sensibly and there are real underlying reasons for the weight. If you are challenged then just explain it as you have done here. It's good to mention your anxieties and that you are looking for encouragement here, not a lecture. My MW was actually amazing at my booking in. She said all she cares about is the mother's mental health, not how the baby arrives or how it is fed etc. I hope you are supported as you should be. But whatever happens please share here. We're all here to listen and help eachother along.

I had a weird letter today. It's all my blood and urine test results (I don't remember getting these in the post with DD) and highlighted is that I am a carrier of Strep Group B. Then handwritten by it says "you will need antibiotics during labour". I have my 16 week appointment next week so we'll discuss then but it has thrown me a bit. I don't know where it has come from, did I have it with DD? I do know if it is passed on to the baby it's incredibly dangerous so I'm concerned to say the least. Does anyone have any experience...?

Gah Peace I wrote a big long reply from my phone when I was at work earlier but phone ran out of battery just before I posted!

Please please try not to worry. I went in yesterday scared that I'd get a massive telling off. The midwfe did mention it - she said she didn't like mentioning it but she had to - but as I said, short of going back in time and shedding 4 stone before getting pregnant there was nothing I could do about it other than try and eat healthily and now the sickness has gone (THE SICKNESS HAS GONE!) I can start exersising again. I am 16.6 stone now, and 5.2. This gives me a BMI of 41. However I am fit, with muscly legs, do way more exersise than many of my supposedly healthier thin friends, don't smoke, don't drink, eat plenty of fruit and veg. I am not the fattest woman to ever give birth, and you wont be either. If you feel judged then please please point out that whilst you are aware its not an ideal situation their judgement and attitude is causing you stress which is also not good for your mental health or the babies health. Be firm and make your point. Medical people are there to assist you through your pregnancy and childbirth, not to dictate to you and sometimes I think they forget that.

Sometimes you will get a shit medical person who is obviously in the wrong profession. Don't let these people get to you. As someone else said, vent here, post here, PM people if you need to (always happy to listen), and use the wonderful support network that is here. I am so glad that I'm having a baby in the same month as you wonderful lot as you've kept me sane since I found out.

You've had a madly busy time with your move and are bound to be on the anxious side at the moment because moving is shit, especially in a hurry! Can you ignore the boxes for this evening and have a proper chill out with a book or something to de-stress?

Anyway, long post. Springwatch is on in a minute. I'm watching that then going to bed!

Oh so many lovely scan pictures. I'm looking forward to mine on the 13th. Letter about it said no children were allowed to come with you. We haven't got child care for my dd 19 m

Argh posted too soon. Silly phone.
No child care for my dd who is 19 mo so I'll have to go on my own. Anyone else taken kids with them to scans? My midwife was surprised I hadn't brought my dd with me to my booking appointment! But she was a bit strange.

I'm really sad dh won't be with me for the scan :-(

There were loads of kids in with their mums at mine yesterday.

Big hugs Peace, I second what the others have said. Be honest with the mw and upfront with her. Tell her you need more support and why. Tell her what worries you. If she gives you shit after that then ask for a new mw, you're going to need someone to support you through this pg, not someone you are afraid to call. They have a duty of care to you that includes supporting your mental and emotional health. Good luck and hope it goes well x

Sorry I posted too soon and that didn't sound very helpful.

What I meant was, that's a bit odd that kids are not allowed, as I saw loads of kids yesterday who were obvs alone with their mums. There was a sign on the scan room door saying, only two adult observers allowed - but didn't say how many kids and there were definately some going into the rooms as otherwise they'd have been on their own! Could you all go, and try and chance it, and if she's not allowed in, then DH stay in the waiting room with her? At least he'd be nearby and you woudn't have to wait alone.

Hurrah! The scan went well! Baby all present and correct :D

Wooohoo! Lovely scan pic Monkey!

We're scan date buddies Lissie! Starting to get excited for it now. Was cursing today not being obviously pregnant as I lugged my suitcase up and down steps on the Tube! Having said that really feeling like my bump is getting more bumpy and I'm only 11+0!

peace do not apologise for venting. Vent away. :) No one has the right to belittle you or make you feel bad. Your body is making a baby and knows what it is doing. Hope the appointment goes ok.

punkypod that is interesting they tested you for Group B strep as annoyingly they don't usually in the UK. Maybe a change in policy. Anyway I tested positive for it last pregnancy (paid for a private test) and needed antibiotics in labour. It wasn't a big deal. It's to avoid the tiny risk of your newborn contracting Group B strep from you in labour as its occasionally very serious in newborns. Most countries test for it - the UK doesn't routinely and so most women who have Grouo B strep don't even know. I wanted to know - and will have the private test again this time.

What a waffle - hope this is helpful.

On more mundane matters - I think I have got frigging piles!! Third pregnancy and my arse is destroyed

Sorry - forgot to add - congratulations to those who had scans today. Beautiful pictures :)

My sympathies to your arse OhDaddyPig!