September 2014 - where we enjoy happy scans and a healthy 2nd trimester

[TheOnlySeven]

Welcome all regulars, lurkers and anyone else who wants to enjoy a positive pregnancy :)

Morning everyone, sorry I've not been on for a while not had much to report. 17 wks today and this is the first week I've made it without being sick! ( so hang in there those of you still feeling icky) Still had some nausea but much better so hoping that it's finally going away. Still waiting on the more energy tho

As for these gender theory's we just couldn't wait so we had a gender scan and found out its a girl!!! Still in shock, can't quite believe it, after 2 boys I was just expecting a 3rd! Although I had a feeling it might be a girl because this time I've been so much more sick! It was a nice experience we took our 2 boys and the oldest was waving at the baby! the little one was just going raaa as he thinks everything makes dinosaur noises at the min!

whiteblossom I'm guessing boy :)

laura that's so exciting! We have a private gender scan next Monday 31st. I just really wanted to see our baby again too =) I think girl, OH thinks boy X

Whiteblossom, i also think a boy with ur timing :)

On partners subject: this is our first and dh is sort of excited, but nothing like me in terms of emotional feelings... When I had our emergency scans I cried throughout the scan just seeing and hearing the baby is still there and healthy.... He was just sitting and looking, couldn't quite work out if he had any similar feelings...

He tries, but I just think it is different for them than us... He gets tired of baby talks after a few minutes too, he sometimes says moving on to another subject... He also only makes fun name and jokes about names only at this stage :) And again, how similar, i think he also has a feeling that there is three of us already and it is difficult for him to come close to me much, he puts one hand on my bump even when we are hugging, as if he is protecting the little one...

Having said all that, I am OK with the way he is handling it....specially as he wasn't the sort of man who would "do anything just to become a father and have a family" in the first place... I try to put myself into his shoe and every time feel, yep, that seems right!!! The only thing which I quite liked once was when he received an email from NhS ( i registered him as dad on NhS and they send him emails, I thought he never reads them, apparently I was wrong) and he came to me saying NhS email says it is good for baby if dad talks to him :) so I walked over so he could talk to my bump :) he was more affectionate towards the little one that I could have been at the time :)

But in general, I totally understand you, I would talk to him if you feel unhappy... Sometimes it helps so much just to tell him your feelings

Sorry for v long post all

Bug & naz thank you I feel somewhat better now. Its men being men isn't it. Im having an emotional week and I suspect this is all part and parcel of it. Accept and move on. Thanks again

Hi everyone, Nazly thats so lovely your partner is getting so excited, mine too. They do handle it differently, interesting how it differs.

I was just wondered how many of us September crew have told family and friends. Now that I have had my first scan (13 weeks) my partner wants to tell everyone, I think he may be wanting to get advice from friends. I'm thinking maybe once i have the results from the blood test, everything fine with the scan but not sure I want to go through any bad stats with my parents worrying too. I have told a few friends when I first found out to get a bit of support while sharing my surprise but I think dp needs support too. Sharing with friends and not parents feels really unnatural.

I'm dying to find out the sex, so is he.

White - my partner was like yours only few weeks ago but something sunk in since then, it will happen. They a funny bunch.

We told everyone really early as there wasn't much choice I've been so out of it with sickness for so long (off work 8 weeks and counting so far).

Everyone has been lovely though and generally supportive. We told with the caveat 'it's very early' anything could happen. And people have been quite respectful of that. I honestly think if anything bad had happened to the baby I'd have been in such a state people would have needed to know then anyway! But I guess I'm less 'private' about these things than some people!

I want to find out the sex, but DH doesn't. Think I'm going to overrule him in a 'it's me that's been bed bound for months on end, my body I get choose' type way... But I feel bad about that. Trying for gentle persuasion at the moment...

We have private gender scan on Monday eek!!! Going to do the gender tests today with bicarbonate soda etc so I don't have long to wait to prove them right or wrong!

lolee we told very few people pre scan but after the 12 week scan the world now knows! We didn't wait for bloods because a risk of downs wouldn't change anything for us.

Very excited for your early gender scans ladies! 2 weeks 3 days till my 20w scan so I hopefully won't be long behind you finding out the gender If anyone else asks me at work 'So are you going to find out the sex of your baby?' I am going to have to get 'YES!' tattooed to my forehead lol.

Thanks Lottiedoubtie, I think a little reminder that its early but I doubt they will even register that, they gonna be over the moon (their first grandchild, I think they gave up hoping a long time ago)

. . and so sorry to hear you suffered so badly with sickness, you poor thing. Should apparently be over very soon according to a lot of advice.

lolee my partner feels like yours but I'm not so keen to tell just yet even though scan and nuchal/bloods result was fine. Aiming to hold out until next midwife appointment @16 weeks when hopefully we'll hear a heartbeat.

Wow there's a December board!

white I spotted the December thread too =) Makes me "proper pregnant" to know some mum-to-bes are finding out and they're 3 months behind us.

We're the old hands now bug

My DH was a bit 'take it or leave it' when I was expecting our first 2 and I did find it really upsetting. We've had loads of discussions before ttc with this one and I really made a point of explaining how that felt and how I dream of having that pregnancy where my DH was as thrilled and excited as I am.
I specifically told him a list of behaviours (such as rubbing belly, bring the subject of baby up and discussing names etc) that would make me feel happy and like he wants to be involved. He is doing all that this time (for the first time). I'm not sure if its real or done to make me happy and I'm not asking- either way it shows he cares.
I guess the point is that whilst I know partners can often feel very excluded, it works for me to explain what sort of behaviour would be appreciated so DH has a plan and knows how to get his good hubby points.

Thanks Fairypants that's makes me think that its not related to the baby directly or me even. DH did ask if I was alright this morning, if something was upsetting me and was I alright with him. I replied all was fine, I don't want to argue and I figured he was just being a bloke- its just first time round he was so different but then the first was his idea- this baby was my idea and it took me a year to get him to agree so I suspect that's whats playing on my mind really. But Tough he agreed and its done now!

A question to ladies who are working full time currently...
Can I ask how much time off you are planning to have after birth? Or before? I only get stat pay and also feel a bit worried about losing my position (not my job, if you know what I mean) so I am thinking about getting shorter time off, but can't decide how long...

Promised my boss I'll let them know in a few weeks about my plans, but I have no previous experience, so would like your opinions too please ... How long does it take to recover from birth and how long does it take for babies to get to a manageable routine? I know everyone is different, but Could do with your help x

Nazly I worked until 37 weeks with my first and then took 9 months off. Planning to do the same this time too if I can!

I'm planning on working until 37 weeks if I can. I'm then taking 6 months off and then DP is going to take 2-3 months additional paternity leave. I only get SMP too but as I earn more it makes more financial sense for me to go back earlier & him stay at home.

In terms of your actual job being secure I think it is up to 9 months and then after that there has to be a job for you but it doesn't have to be your current one.

Ahh just seen the December board too, doesn't seem like that long ago that we were obsessing over tests :)
Hope everyones well this morning my throat is killing and head is banging :( xx

I am hoping to work until 36/37 weeks and then take a year off. I work for the NHS so get pretty good pay for 6 months, statutory from 6-9 then unpaid 9-12 months

I'm working until 33 weeks but purely based on the good timing of school holidays - if I needed to I'd be working much later than that. I will finish in July when kids finish for summer, have summer holidays off, then officially start my maternity on 1 September then baby due 7th so will hopefully get the majority of my maternity leave with baby. I plan on having 8 months off - with how dates at school fall I plan to go back around Easter time next year which works out about 8 months

I'm also really worried about my job - not losing it, but losing my current position as reception teacher

I'm planning to work until 38 weeks but use annual leave days to go down to 4 days a week from around 28 weeks, which will hopefully help with pacing myself but also dealing with any hot weather this summer (I'm not very good in the heat at the best of times so being heavily pregnant could be a real challenge!)

I'm planning to take somewhere between 9 and 12 months off with DH taking the rest. We earn exactly the same which means it's nice to have the choice, however he's trying to move on in his career a bit more than I am at the moment so it means we can be flexible if he gets a new job.

Don't forget two things though - a) your employer will assume you're taking a year if you don't say otherwise and you have the right to change your mind as you go along as long as you give eight weeks' notice and b) you accrue annual leave including public holidays while you're on maternity, so if your employer's amenable you can technically 'go back to work' but be on paid holiday using that up. Mine would be another month on top of a year's maternity leave!