January 2014 Thread 16 - More babies arrive or we make delicious lasagnes whilst we wait

[enormouse]

Here you go - New thread! (Procrastinating wildly)

Hi everyone - just a quick update

Callum John Felix was born on the 31st (his daddy's birthday) at 5.46am, weighing 7.5lb.
I was admitted at about 2am and he arrived about 4hours later. He's breastfeeding well and we were discharged last night.

Hope everyone's well and I'm going to take a little while to rest and catch up on your developments. :)

Congratulations fly and enormouse! Looking forward to seeing some pics when you're ready Sorry your care wasn't great fly, feel free to rant here :)

Persephone is still lovely. She has been diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie (I have one, so it isn't a surprise). DH has decided that this is all bollocks though, and doesn't seem to want her to get it snipped. Given that my nipples are wrecked thanks to her gumming them, and all the other problems that tongue tie can cause, I'm definitely going to overrule him on this if the midwife confirms it on Monday. She's still being weighed twice a week because she's still not even halfway back to her birth weight, and I'm getting a bit paranoid about how little she is feeding etc. I really, really want to keep breastfeeding until weaning, but it is starting to look like I might not get much choice in the matter soon.

book - point out to DH that if its not done now, it can seriously interfere with speech and language development at a later stagevvDH has referred various children aged 2plus and the op is done under general anaesthetic. Plus it's much more traumatic as thhey are old enough founder stand whats going on

DS had this snipped at 3 weeks. Didn't even flinch. Due to his exoeruences, DH was determined to get it done. I would definitely agree with overruling DH on this.

Congrats to all the recent births ! Hope all going well

enourmous - love the name. Have a good rest

fly - lovely name too. Hope you're doing OK. Sorry about the bad night. I shudder thinking about our furst two nights at home. I thought I would never stop crying. It's amazing though how quickly things kind if sort themselves out with feeding though. It just feels so awful at the time - particularly in the dead of night

Congratulations enormouse & fly :)

Book, will DH agree about the tongue tie if you explain that it's possibly why Persephone isn't gaining much weight? I'm with you, though. I'd have it done regardless. You'll probably find she'll feed much better as soon as she's had it snipped.

Unlikely toby - he said that thinks that I've found something that she could have that would conveniently explain her lack of weight gain/my ruined nips/her wind problems. He has asked me to go over it with the midwives on Monday, which I planned to anyway. I would hardly put her through having it snipped if there were nothing wrong, would I? The lactation consultant spotted it at breastfeeding clinic, it didn't know it caused feeding issues etc.

I'm quite cross with him in general, as the deal was that I would sleep alone with Percy in the week so he'd get proper sleep (as he commutes), but that we could all sleep in a room together on Fridays and Saturdays. It didn't happen yesterday, and I'm starting to feel very lonely indeed

And with that, I will woman the fuck up

Also, my tits were absolute agony. If I coukd have chopped them off with a rusty spoon I would have. So - another reason to get it done.

Yep gobbo, not only are they now a ridiculous size (at least a J cup) but they feel like someone has sandpapered my nipples and then set them on fire. Such a special time

book - move back into that fucking room!

I did that with DS but the deal was that DH would help with night feeds (expressed) on Fridays and Sats. Which he did. And that he would do all feeds during 8 -12 every day so I could sleep. Which he also did.

I haven't even bothered moving out this time and DH snores through everything although is keeping up his end with the weekend night feeds so I only need to express.

DH was adamant with DS that he needed to sleep during the 12 - 8 or he would end up killing someone at work. I accepted that but it was very much done on the basis that he pitched in so I didn't feel exiled.

You might find once you take up residence again that your DH sleeps through. But, if not, definitely get back in there for the weekends.

book - I suggest you cheese grater his knob (course side of grater!) so he has a 10th of an idea of what it feels like and then ask him if he now understands why you might want it done

Honestly - my DH is quite an unsympathetic bastard at times (although he is good if he thinks you are properly ill/in labour etc ) and he was very kind to me about the TT as it was fucking agony being gummed to death by DS. I used to sob everytime I had to feed him and DH was genuinely worried that it was going to affect our bond

Book - agree with everything the others have said about tongue tie. Emily had hers snipped on Thursday and is like
Feeding a different child. She is happier and eating more, and I am beginning to get some kind of normal feeling back in my nipples. They prescribed me with Novogel moist wound healing pads which I collected this morning and I can wear a t-shirt without feeling like someone is slicing off my nipples with every step. As long as there is no chance f you having thrush (which can't be kept wet...and midwife can check babies mouth when they look a tongue tie) I recommend asking for some of those to help the healing. In the interim I used Jelonet, which is basically Vaseline covered gauze (60p a sheet from boots)....in a sandwich with a layer of lanisoh, then jello net, then pad. That should help take some edge off it.

Completely agree with what others have said...overrule and get it snipped. Risks are minimal, and If there is a tie get it snipped as soon as poss while LO is young and can relearn bad feeding habits quickly, gain weight back and reduces risk of later speech problems. More
Importantly it gave me some sanity back so hopefully will make you feel better too.

Hope it goes well when you speak to midwife/HV

(Sorry for bad spelling etc...on phone one handed with milk drunk baby on my chest

Last night MIL came round to collect washing and ended up taking dd so me and DH could go and sleep. She kept her til 00:30 and then after I fed her she slept for almost 4 hours. I'm not holding out hope for a repeat performance but even those few hours of sleep helped. Midwife came again today and said I should see doctor for PND now, and Aldo got to go to hospital this eve as suspects I my still have infection from c section. The phrase one blooming thing after another comes to mind.

Dreading DH going back to work on Wednesday. Will be a challenge I think.

Midwife has also told me she really thinks I should start expressing so dd can have feed from someone else at night so I can rest more, but just so unsure about doing this. How did everyone else get on with mixed feeding?

I'm happy to do a round trip punching all the wanker DHs in the tits if you want.

Loving the cheese grater idea gobbo, but wouldn't want to make it smaller DH is just of the opinion that I make mountains out of molehills and worry about DD too much I think.

That all sounds brilliant sunshine - thanks. Did you find nipple shields useful at all?

ellen your MIL sounds lovely. I hope your GP is helpful about PND. Mixed feeding sounds as though it could be a big help too. No experience to share here though, sorry

Yeah toby, pop over and deck him for me. Then I can tell him that he must have imagined it and needs to suck it up

enormouse congrats! I second the call for PICS!

book if your DH wants to feed Percy, then he can overrule you on the TT. If it ain't his tits, it ain't his call. Alex didn't have TT, but the pain of feeding her for too long before my colostrum came through was horrendous. Luckily my DH is pretty relaxed about the use of formula and would rather we are all happy.

ellen I hear you. Having thought I was getting to the stage of my stitches healing, pile shrinking etc, and being able to start standing up like a 30-something rather than an 80-something, this second UTI has really pissed me off . Esp as I can't get antibiotics until tomorrow night earliest. Bloody aches.

frizz I seriously think you need to talk to your DH. He needs to get a grip. Falling asleep, unless you've taken precautions to not squash her, is DANGEROUS. Could you get the HV to talk to him? So it comes from someone else?

We've just had pizza delivered. I'll come after :o

Also, what gobbo said about not being forced out of your bedroom. My DH, who used to be a delicate little flower about noise at night, is now magically able to sleep through Alex waking up. If he really can't, he will move to the sofa or spare room, not me, as I have enough to do without carting all the baby paraphernalia from room to room.

enormouse yay massive congrats

book its totally your call. Its your body so you're rules wrt sorting out the TT. Unless he wants you to become nippleless and need nipple transplants.

I have had another word with dh today and have shared some of your comments and told him that i have ranted about him on here and i think he is slowly getting it. He has been much more hands on with aurelia today without me asking and so i am hopeful that things will keep moving forward. humpty i think he understands how dangerous it is he is just doing that typical man thing of he doesnt think he will fall asleep as he is awesome in everyway like Thor or something.
I also think he has seen how much better i am feeling today after my extra sleep so has told me that he will do the same tomorrow.
Just need ti try to get aurelia to feed from a bottle (at the moment she refuses) so that i can express some for dh to help more with feeds not just with settling her. Maybe if he has a more important role and can feed her he will be more willing to help.

I have asked him to move the crib into our room for tonight. I normally co-sleep with her in the spare bed, but it worries me. She can't come into our bed as DH drinks in the evening. This way, at least I'll have to try her in her crib and he'll be in the room to help if need be. If he wakes up. Which he won't. Cockwomble. She only wakes once in the night anyway, so I'm sure he'll survive.

Are you about choco? How are you doing? Let me know if you need visiting :)

I hope this doesn't offend or anything but isn't there a fair risk of nipple confusion in introducing bottles early on? I though it was something like 6 weeks onwards. just thought to say if not been said already for those who want to ebf especially. x

Another vote (even if a little late) for getting that tongue tie snipped, book. Luckily, Annabel's was diagnosed and snipped when she was 1 day old, so my nipples didn't suffer much. I swear she didn't seem to feel any pain, though, so don't worry about 'putting her through' anything. She cried because one of the midwives held her mouth open, but there was no change in the sound when the snip was actually done (I was looking away), so it can't have hurt much.

I thought the same as you bunt, but then my midwife said 4 weeks which was a bit confusing. It is why I've held off on expressing/dummies/nipple shields, but if others have heard differently then I'd love to know so I can get expressing!

bunt - yes. Sorry. Should have said - I'm an exclusive expresser so please ignore me re bottles if that will muck up breast feeding due to nipple confusion.

I've not given formula but would think that an expressed bottle would be "better" using that word very loosely in terms of supply than formulaic a bottle needs to be given

I think the advice is 6 weeks too. But... I think if taking a bottle is really important then it can be easier to start earlier otherwise they might refuse it. So from around 4 weeks maybe. This is just from what I have seen from friends and the support group I help at. It's a bit of a trade off I think. Personally I'm not bothered about whether he will take a bottle (I find expressing a right faff and don't mind waiting until solids for a decent stint away from him) so I won't offer them until six weeks plus. But if I knew I needed to be away from him earlier for some reason I would try earlier.

My dd had her tt snipped relatively late (about 7 weeks old) which is supposed to be more painful but she still cried less than she did from a large fart at the same age. Apparently midwives used to do it at birth with their fingernail.