The Definitlies - May 2014ers!

[MrsFooCough]

Almost there now, May mums!

Stats page: docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvygwA-EKhURdDMwQWNNWGt0cHhmVkloazVVQ0hYNUE#gid=0

Size of baby chart: m.thebump.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-tools/articles/how-big-is-baby.aspx?MsdVisit=1

Name changed

I thought 3rd tri was 28 weeks... totally unexperienced here though.

I hope it's 28 weeks as I'll be 25 weeks on Monday and I'm not ready to be that close to giving birth

I can wholeheartedly say that the third trimester takes about 25 weeks to get through mentally. Particularly the last 2 weeks time drags by so slowly!

My app say 3rd trimester starts at 28 weeks
Im 23 weeks cant belive how fast this is going 119 days to go she is ment to be about 30cm long the size of a grapefruit wow im blown away were is time going

I try and ignore the trimester milarky after the 1st, But it's always been 1-14 weeks = 1st, 15-28 = 2nd and the rest is 3rd round these parts. I try not to pay too much attention to my due date either as I've never made it all the way to any of them. I have to be completely ready by 34 weeks (for my own peace of mind) - DS1 arrived at 36 weeks.

I'm awake at 2am for the third night in a row because of this silly cough, I haven't had one since I was a kid not enjoying it at all. After 4 births and 24 weeks into this pregnancy I'm not sure my pelvic floor can cope with all this coughing too.

Great scan news and good luck later MrsFoo!

Thanks ladies! 28 weeks would make sense as nanny said - 2/3 of the way through our pregnancy. I'm 23 weeks tomorrow! It's definitely going so much faster these days!

My mum felt the baby kicking yesterday evening she's so excited. She's already decided it's a future football star (she's the manager of my sister's junior team).

I feel like 24 weeks was a big milestone with the whole viability thing, and now the next one is 28 weeks for the 3rd trimester, and then... what's the next milestone after that

24+5

I would say 34 weeks is the next big one moomin. I agree with xav about being ready by 34 weeks as my babies come early too, so make sure your prepared ladies. And have that hospital bag ready with all the necessary bits and pieces.
Oh and may I recommend napisan for babies clothes definitely kept my lot healthy I use it during the winter months too even now thanks to norovirus etc.

Good luck with your scan today mrsfoo

mrsmummy I am going to (hopefully) start going through the baby girl clothes that I saved, I will have stuff up to age 2 shall I sort the lot out for you or do you just want upto age 1?

bushprincess I feel excited for you, I bet your hubby cant wait to get back.

Congrats on all the scans everyone!

It's really starting to go quickly isn't it! Hope mine doesn't come early as I'm planning on working to nearly 38 weeks! Getting some really big kicks now and a lot more movement. Just hope baby isn't hiding it's face again for our rescan on Monday. I think it's a wriggler! Sometimes I can feel it curled up right at the bottom of my pelvis - does anyone else get that where they almost feel like it's a head or a spine or something really bony pressing on their pelvic bone! Feels very weird. Cool though.

V excited for you bush princess!

Thanks so much mumof2. Up to age 2 would be amazing if you're sure. That's really kind of you

Time does seem to be going quite fast now! It's crazy to think that if my baby was born now he'd have a chance of survival.
About a month ago I would have said that pregnancy isn't long enough because I just didn't feel prepared to have a baby in May, but now I cannot wait for him to be here!
Is anyone having weird dreams about pregnancy or babies? My dh keeps dreaming that he is pregnant and in labour (oh if only) and I have this recurring dream that I have the baby but don't feed him until he's a couple of days old and almost starving to death!

Oh another thing. I had to go and get some new bras - I was 34DD before I got pregnant. Now I'm 36FF! How much bigger can they get?!

Scan went well! All measurements good, ultrasound lady was brill despite me constantly rabbiting on with excitement. Couldn't get a good frontal look for face/heart, so we're getting another scan booked, should get a letter through.
DH is freaked out because the head/brain measurements aren't all EXACTLY AVERAGE. I explained that the lady wouldn't have said things were fine if they're weren't all fine! Also I did a degree in Biomedical Sciences so I've been trying to reassure him that reference ranges, centiles and medians all just serve a purpose to illustrate the range of normal human variation, and that the low end of the reference range is still IN the reference range, and doesn't indicate a "disease state", but he's been worrying ever since he got a look at the scan report. Thank god we've got a consultant appt on Wednesday afternoon!!!! We can ask her about it and maybe he'll sleep properly that night. He worries so much, bless him.
Oh and dobe think yourself lucky with 36FFs, mine were 38Ks before the BFP, flip knows what they are now (I'm so lucky I have some 40K bras lying around to squeeze into!)

Bloody hell a K?! I am struggling with mine and I'm a H- but I'm sure they account for all of my 6lb weight gain so far... Tbh honest I can't wait to get rid!!

Also moomin please excuse me if I'm way off the mark but I remembered you mentioning your mum ( I think) had spina bifida? Have been googling club foot (BIG mistake but at least I waited until after the scan) and it says that It can be linked , so was just wondering if spina bifida would show up on the scan. They said everything was ok on the scan bar this one foot so am I worrying myself unnecessarily?

nanny spina bifida is one major thing they check for on the scan. It's normally v obvious from looking at the baby's spine. They would have rescanned or made a fuss if they suspected it.

Ok phew- knew I shouldn't have gone googling!!

Yup nanny it's quite clear on one particular orientation view of the spine if there's spina bifida (which autocorrect just made "Alina bifocals" ... ) because it would manifest as something called a meningocele IIRC, which I think is like a bulging thing on the spine. You'd have seen something awry yourself if baby had bad spina bifida!! It's at this point that I thank my lucky stars for my biomed sci degree, it makes me so much more confident about stuff like this.

NannyPlum as the others have said spina bifida definitely shows up in scans :) My mum has the mildest form of spina bifida.

Getting so annoyed at OH today. Feels like he's annoyed at me because I went to my sister's football match instead of the theatre group his family run this morning. I went along afterwards to see if I could help but there's a couple of girls there who don't like me because I've left the group to go to uni, and every little task I could've done, they immediately ran up and took over so that I was left out. I left and OH didn't even say bye I don't want to go back up to uni, I want to stay at home now

Ohh moomin sweetie it does sound like OH is kind of giving in to pressure from those around him to be peeved at you. Remember he's probably feeling really alienated from you because he has NO WAY of knowing what we as pregnant women are going through. He worries, I'm sure, about your physical and emotional well being and probably didn't want to say anything to you in case it upset you even further. I know it doesn't make sense but this is the kind of rubbish that my DH says to me about why he's a bit funny sometimes haha! My suggestion is maybe ask him if he was upset that you didn't go to the family thing? It's kind of a win-win for you asking that, because if he says yes then you a) get to know how he's feeling and b) get to tell him why you didn't go while cloaking it in concern for his feelings and if he says no then you've found out that he wasn't bothered by those silly girls and their behaviour and that he's just a typical bloke who probably just forgot to say goodbye!
From my position as a HORRIBLY HORMONAL MAD LOONY WOMAN most of the time, I know that at times these situations can make you feel like you're going to break with all the demands you envisage being impose upon you - I can assure you that when I come down after the Red Mist has made me murderous, or the depression has made me miserable, I realise that people and their demands can SOD RIGHT OFF. Nothing is more important than the babies that we are baking in our tummy ovens. Not family with opinions, not friends with prejudices, not old friends with grudges. Our babies are all we need to think about (aside from maybe FOOD TASTY NOMS for ourselves).

Lots of love from one Mummy-to-be to another xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks MrsFoo

I feel awful for how horrible I've been to him... he's usually so thoughtful and I don't think I've considered the impact this is having on him... because at first he was excited and happy when I was scared and didn't want to keep it, I think I've just assumed he's still fine about it all. I've become paranoid about every girl he's around, and he has one particular friend here at the theatre who doesn't like me at all - his other best friend is an absolute star, like a brother to both of us - so it's really difficult when I know he's with a load of people, most of whom aren't that keen on me and then when he doesn't say goodbye it makes me feel rubbish but I never considerd that it wasn't anything personal, he probably genuinely just forgot

I hate how much I've changed. I'm getting annoyed at everyone particularly everyone who keeps asking if we know what we're having, because half of them are asking every day like we've found out overnight, and the other half don't seem to understand that if we knew and were going to tell them, we would've told them, so there's no need to ask every time they see me. It's getting me down that I don't know so being constantly reminded is horrible but I should be grateful and happy that people are excited and interested... it just feels like they're more interested than I am. I'm really struggling with how I feel towards this baby but everyone's just told me "it'll all change when it's born"... yeah I'm sure it will but I've got 15 weeks until that, and I'm not sure I can deal with feeling like I'll never love this baby and I'm just carrying it for someone else for that long.

He's been so lovely and told me he doesn't know what he's done wrong but he's really sorry, and how he's going to book me in for doctors on monday for this cough (it's been here now since before Christmas) and how he wants to look after me. I feel so bad for being angry at him

Hey Moomin

It sounds like you are putting so much pressure on yourself to 'feel' a certain way. At this point where we are all hormonal, physically and emotionally exhausted and just generally doing what it takes to grow a person you will never win this argument in your head and never feel ' the perfect way' cos there isn't one!

Although I'm a completely different place in my life than you are in yours (on paper and from the outside in we have it all...amazing house, great careers, a lovely son etc etc) I also go through days or hours to even just moments where i think 'how the hell am i going to do this? And live up to everyone's expectations of me as a mother of another child' How will I be able to do my job (v demanding, lots of travel, not much support from anyone) with 2 kids and it makes me have big wobbles that I just can't do it.

Now I know some of this is hormones and some is because I have high expectations of myself and I also know that when I have my baby I will love him and do the best I can....which really will be more than good enough. My rational self knows this is true. My mental, porky, crazy preggo head tells me otherwise though!

I think when you are pregnant for the first time you can't get your head around how it will be to actually have your baby. Sometimes I look at my 5 year old and think ' is he really mine??' It still feels so surreal that I am someone's mother. Parenthood is hard from conception but when your child hugs you and needs you it all falls into place and those moments more than outweigh the ones where you are doubting everything and wanting to hide in a cupboard.

Please please let your feelings be and accept them for what they are. They will be fleeting and ever changing. I would say though that you should seek some professional help if you continue to feel unattached from your baby, especially once he or she is born. The midwives will look out for this but you have to be honest with them ( and your OH) so they can help you.

Oh and regarding the stupid questions...you'd be getting those either way, where you knew the gender of your baby or not. Unfortunately the world is full of imbeciles who have as much emotional intelligence as we have in our little toes!

Virtual hugs...and take it easy on yourself. I'm going to try and take my own advice here too :)
Xxx

Beautifully said choppa

Fantastic advice Choppa, will be doing my best to take it on board!

Choppa you've done better advice than me! ~pouty face~

Hehe but just remember that all things are temporary, moomin. Our mood will change, even if we feel AWFUL, it will pass. My poor DH is regularly a victim of my preggo-rage, so he could probably sit your OH down and give him better advice than we can! Haha!