October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

Right.... I sooo want to catch up! I think the only way is for me to work backwards and do a short response to each page. First things first (I rember this news!) huge huge huge congrats to Smitten and Clapham.... Yay!!!! And good lunch today Dontworry, being induced is fine. I had a good time of it with DD and had a v active labour with just g and a.

Ok, so...

Flyer, I am SO HAPPY that bf is coming together, you worked v hard and will be so thankful you did in the coming weeks and months! Sorry about the reflux though. As you know, mild reflux affects most babies, but poor A sounds like she's suffering. Yes yes yes to pushing for proper meds, not gaviscon. I went to a fortnightly reflux support group with DD (she had mild ish silent reflux, was prescribed gaviscon but we have up because she was a bottle refuser and I just managed it with holding upright, bed blocks etc until she grew out of it) and totally agree that, from the many mothers/babies I met, gaviscon is only good for ff babies and those with mild reflux. A "proper" case of reflux in a bf baby def needs meds that aren't gaviscon, so do push!

Totally agree with Moon re constant feeding and pre empting a growth spurt. The very time not to top up with formula if possible!! And yes it gets waaay easier, although I would say after 8-10 weeks I'm afraid! But I think I have quite difficult babies... Bad sleepers (except H) and mild reflux / fussiness / epic clusters all....

Re fussy feeding and pulling away etc... ALL mine do / have done this in the epic evening cluster feeds (5-9pm ish). The "solution" that I have found (worth trying!!) is to stop feeding as soon as the fussing begins, put baby up onto shoulder to wind and shhh (even get up and rock sway if v fussy) for a few mins, then feed again once calm. I just keep repeating this and it works, provided I stay calm! Also, back in the day (like 2 generations ago) they prescribed Guinness to promote milk supply.... I find a Guinness at about 5.30 helps with the fussiness and my nerves!!!

just watching this morning and they're talking about pelvic floor muscles!! all sorts of gadgets going on! apparently there is one you can get on prescription. I'm seeing a gynacology consultant on monday so am hoping to discuss all this with her. I'm not having any problems but can definitley feel my muscles aren't what they were!!

Flyer...... For reflux, there is gaviscon, then ranitidine, then domperidone and then omeprazole. Hopefully there will be something in that list to suit A.

Pineapple....... We too use our tesco vouchers for meals out. Dh and I go for lunch regularly while the older 3 children are at school. We also used the vouchers for our anniversary meal and ate a huge amount of food for only £10 worth of vouchers (£40 off the bill).

We have projectile vomit here too and last night baby J almost flooded his moses basket with silent sick, only noticed when we picked him up. Was at docs yesterday for him turning blue and forgot to mention the sick so will need to make another appointment now - Doh!!!

Would love to start running again but walking still knackering me out so will give it another month at least probably January health kick to ensure iron levels back up

I am keeping up with the thread but not managing to post, ds is definately more demanding than dd was, or maybe its cos he's not the only one to consider it feels that way?

pink don't be impressed at my 9.15 departure from the house I don't really have a choice as dd needs to get to pre school, its effing hard work as H always wants holding all morning as if I have 100 arms go get him and her and myself ready and out the door Glad to hear u and orange had successfull days though xx

Just wanting people's advice/opinions really... As much as I love my new baby I am still really struggling emotionally, I miss my old 'easy' life of just me dh and dd, I feel like I'm really struggling to get to grips with the way things are now, its really difficult to explain, everything is such hard work now and by the end of the day I feel like going to bed and spending the rest of the evening crying on my own away from dh as well as crying several times throughout the day when I feel overwhelmed

How do ppl with 2+ children bath them etc when they r on their own?

Also wanted to wish flyer good luck for today's appt xx

Sorry just need a moan - remember the neighbour who I had to go in for coffee with? She's clearly been watching the house waiting to pounce - I opened the door for a parcel and she was straight over. She rang the doorbell twice!! When I eventually opened the door she basically invited herself in and sat down without being asked. I did say that I was trying to settle C before going to the supermarket but she wouldn't take the effing hint...

She asked for my number as well and I managed to dodge that by pleading that my hands were full with C...

I know she's trying to be friendly but she won't take the hint that I'm really not interested and I might be a little bit busy wrangling C... Grr!!

Nat can DS wait in a bouncy chair whilst you run the bath(s) (is he in a baby bath or in with dd?) then get her in the bath. Put the baby bath next to the big bath and bathe him whilst she plays. Then wrap him in towel in bouncy chair whilst you clean her.

I am yet to tackle bathtime alone I will try your tips psuedo!

oh nat sorry you feel like you are struggling (( hugs))

it is overwhelming at times, but don't be too hard on yourself..... like pseudo suggests, try to think of little ways around each situation.
It's still early days xxx

I keep reading and meaning to post, but rarely have a hand spare!!! x

Hello Ladies, only finding time to dip in and out of the thread theses days, and - to be totally honest - I find the posts on breastfeeding rather upsetting. It's completely my own 'issues' (sadness, guilt, disappointment, jealousy etc) but it's probably for the best that I take a break for now.

Before I go I just wanted to say, Nat - I can totally understand your feelings. I am finding juggling the needs of my two (and the dog) a real struggle, especially in the evening. DS is a pretty chilled out little chap but wants constant attention/holding/feeding all evening, just when DD needs me for her bath & bedtime routine. I feel completely torn between the two of them and DP is only around to help at weekends. I'm sure over time everything will fall into place.

Lots of best wishes to everyone - I think our babies will all do fabulously as it is clear each and everyone of them is much loved and cherished x

natalie, I only have the one and am feeling very much like that. I'm missing my old life and not really enjoying my current one much at all. I can't believe I typed that, but it's true

I'm sorry you're struggling Nat. It's tough just now but you'll work out a routine that's right for you.

Poor Eliana has oral thrush and fungal nappy rash. I was pretty sure she had thrush last week but the health visitor said she thought it was just milk deposits but the Staff nurse came out yesterday and confirmed my suspicions. She recommended that I use Milton to sterilise bottles. She said that steam sterilisers don't kill bacteria spores effectively.
I ordered a cold water stetiliser yesterday and payed for next day delivery so slightly Pissed off that when I checked my order status just now it said awaiting fulfillment.

5 weeks post natal on Thursday and my c-section scar is open in 2 places so had to have it dressed for the second time in just over a week. I've had it swabbed for infection but the nurse thought it probably wasn't as the discharge isn't pussy just watery blood. I knew I'd got off too lightly with the previous 4 c-sections.

nat Im sorry you feel like that, as everyones said its still early days. I definitely feel like my attention is spread very hinly between them both at the moment and dont really feel like either of them are getting he best of me. Definitely still learning about juggling the two and either rely on DS being good or sometimes leaving Isla to cry. not ideal but I just feel like for now I need to find a way to get by. xx

bridget am sorry you feel like that, I hope youre ok x

flyer we had the same problem with gaviscon as breastfeeding. The ranitidine is given by a tiny syringe as she only has half a ml finding it much easier. so just hoping nit has some effect now.

He's bath sharing with dd as we used a baby bath a of once last time as it was more orquad. How r u finding things pseudo? I feel like I'm really failing both of my children and my husband ATM by being so upset all the time, I don't remember feeling like this last time especially 3 weeks on from the birth x

bridget, I know me saying it won't make a difference, but please don't feel guilty about formula feeding. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I think there are quite a few folk using formula, it just doesn't tend to require as many questions so is a bit invisible.

Sorry when i refreshed only pseudos reply came up until I posted then all the others showed, thanks for your support everyone, soup its a horrible feeling isn't if as much as I love my new ds I feel so guilty for feeling like I miss my old life. I really don't wanna look back in a years time and wish I enjoyed these first few weeks more but u can't help the way u feel can u ?

Bridget sorry if I upset you posting about breastfeeding. I didn't mean to. I know where you're coming from as I felt a bit disappointed/jealous/guilty reading about normal deliveries, especially water births, after I had my first baby. We're just all trying to do what's best for us and our families and that's what counts.

Nat and soupqueen sorry you're finding things tough. Hope it gets easier soon. Remember to be kind to yourself. I found that things got better when I started getting out to groups and meeting friends for coffee. Have you got anything nearby you could go to?

Sorry to hear a few of you are struggling I can sympathise at the over whelming feeling. It's tough and such a change from my old life. I'm reassured that it gets easier from 8 weeks so hoping that's the case. I love my little girl so much but I also miss my carefree former life.

We have been given ranitidine so hoping this will ease things. Has anyone on here had previous experience with it and it's effectiveness?

Health visitor now due and it's the big weigh in, I'm shitting it and just hope she's back to her birth weight.

Hi Nat please give yourself a break xx Firstly without sounding heartless forget about 'being there' for your husband. He's a grown man and you're in this together. He should be there for you to fall apart on and to support you, give him a stern talking to if he's not.

So about the bath - then same goes. DS waits in the bouncy chair (or lies on a towel) while you run the bath. Dd amuses herself or 'helps' you. She gets in and plays, you put DS in and bathe him. Get him out and wrap him up (even dress him if you've brought clothes in). When he's sorted and safe, bathe dd. Get her out, either sort her out in the bathroom or all move to the bedroom. Does that sound ok?

Thanks for asking, I'm struggling with DS (dd is an angel after what he was like as a newborn!). He's decided to potty train completely after the blue but backed out of it this morning. He's a clingy moany nightmare at the moment :(

Got DD's jaundice appointment at the hospital on Thursday.
I'm suffering with severely blocked ducts or mastitis in my right breast today :(

Good luck flyer.

bridget, much sympathy here. I feel very jealous of those successful breast feeders. Reading all the posts inspires me too though.

Bad news here is that my milk production looks like it is drying up. I didn't mind mixed feeding as felt that my baby did get a tiny 'actimel' type bit of breast milk at every feed. By my boobs are definitely smaller, baby feeding for shorter periods, and nothing the bf experts advise is practical or works.

I've been told to try supplemental feeding (through a tube at the breast). Has anyone tried this?

nat and soup - feeling the same here too, almost like I'm grieving for my previous life. I'm not able to do the stuff I love doing at the moment (cooking, baking, cleaning etc!) and I'm finding that really stressful and upsetting.

DH and I are living off ready meals at the moment which I hate but LO is really active from 5pm - midnight so all we have time to do is throw something in the oven and eat it one handed whilst I'm feeding.

nat I know what you mean. We have a similar age gap here ds 3 and two months. Hope Your dd had a good birthday. I haven't done bath time on my own either. Tbh I don't bath M if dh not around to help. I'm on my own tonight so will do ds pick up, dinner, feed M, bath time, story time and put ds to bed. Most probably one handed. Not looking forward to it but I'm sure it will get easier for us.

flyer glad you got the ranitidine. Hope weigh in goes well.

soup, untitled I think it's harder with the first dc because your life really does completely change. I think with the second it's just more chaos and you have more demands on your attention and time but things had already changed from pre dc stage iykwim?

bridget sorry you're feeling upset. You are going through a lot and it must be difficult when you don't have much help during the week. for you.

pseudo your bath tip sounds good. Must try it. How old is your ds again? I know your gap is a little smaller

I should get out of the house today......... What do you think. There's a lll meeting on but it s about 30 mins to get there ( walk and bus) feeling lazy.

Hi legally! How do you do bath time with your three??

Hugs to all feeling down. I miss my old life too, it's such a huge change. I've found simply taking one day at a time the best strategy, otherwise it is very overwhelming. I'm hopeful of things improving around 6-8 weeks. If you're consistently feeling really low, mention to your Hv though, just to be on the safe side.
Never had my duvet day today. Have written all my thank you cards though so am really pleased with lo for napping long enough to let me do that!

mon sorry about Eliana s thrush and nappy rash. Did you get her scar checked out? Hope your own scar heals up too.

mnippy. Don't have any advice re tube feeding.

pinkbuttons I do feel I'm not giving ds enough attention :(