October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

Hey all - really interesting seeing all the routines...

I think (from my and others experience), you might get into one naturally now, but if it doesn't come naturally, the norm, and in particular getting evenings back, is that it will come in the end by 3/4 months... And nothing will make it come earlier! Please please don't worry if you don't have one for a while (I did, unnecessarily!). I don't know many people who reached the baby upstairs / chilled evening downstairs stage before 3, sometimes up to 6, months.... I don't say this to be negative, it's just that I found all the "routine" expectation at an early stage really set me up to fail!

Our day looks like this:

They have to feed at 7.30 pre school run, so even if they fed an hour earlier, they get fed then! We leave the house by 8.15am.

Nap (all in pram, after school run and shopping, they stay in the pram in the hall) until 10.30 or occasionally 11. Feed.

I then haven't worked out what routine, if any, they have until the evening! Feeds anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours apart.

We have afternoon school run at 2.45, so they have to feed at some point not too in advance of that.. They usually sleep in the pushchair.....

4/4.30pm - feed

Usually some more snacking feeds over DD's dinner time at 5.30pm (I eat then too!).

Bath at 6.15 - we do this every night, DD has one afterwards.

6.45ish - bedtime story with DD.

By 7.15 - DD in bed, I go into my bedroom in the dark and feed the twins. They are settled and in bed anytime between 8.30 and 10pm. If its 10pm, they will have been settled enough in their cot for me to at least haven shower and grab a cuppa..... By 9.30pm at the latest (usually) they're settled in their cot. V wakes around midnight / 1am. H and V then wake at 2/3am, 4/5am etc.

Much of the afternoon and early evening (until bath time - the bath stops all the fussing - a relatively hot bath is v good for colic fussiness) is feeding and then fussing / crying to sleep... We have v little awake contended was, especially from V...

The idea behind the dark room at the time I want their bedtime to be us that this should kick in from 3 months ish...

Rox - I think I know why A does this John Lewis story - it's normal (annoyingly)! She was satisfied and asleep after the first feed. However, you then (understandably!!) popped her in the pram... Ie flat on her back.... Now they're a few weeks old and are drinking more, "normal" reflux (ie the usual immaturity of the lower oesophageal sphincter) really peaks (anywhere between 4 - 12 weeks ish according to GP). After a few minutes on her back, she basically got (totally normal) heartburn. She woke from that and her normal response was to root as bf is her biggest comfort... And she's right, the sucking soothes the reflux. So she then wanted to "feed" to soothe the reflux. I am guilty of this little routine all the time because I don't always have the time to hold upright for 15/20mins after each feed. [smile{

I mean !!!

talking about putting baby down in yhe the evening. at what point do you start putting them to sleep upstairs in the evening? H won't fit in his moses basket much longer and will move to cot in our room until 6 months. I know the advice is for them to sleep with you until 6 months but I'm not going to bed with him every night at 7ish!! do you just leave them for a few hours upstairs with a monitor on? Obviously not a problem yet was just wondering

Nat. I had a start and stop bleed like you mention after week 3 before bleeding finally stopped at 4 weeks or So

Flyer best of luck with the night nanny. I finally found ds sleeps better on his belly. I know this is contrary to all advise out there but during the day it's the only way he will get any decent ( max 2 hr) sleep and I am watching him constantly.

At night, DH and I take turns carrying him on our chest/ I use carrier, the moment you put him down he screams. Sleep deprived and counting the days and hope he outgrown this soon. Also dealing with reflux, tho colic seems to have improved now.

roofio emilia is already going down in her Moses basket at 7.30, then I go to bed at 10.30. We live in a flat so she is only next door, but we have no baby monitor, and I just check on her every 39 mins or so

30 mins, 39 would be very specific

roofio with dd she outgrew her basket about 8 weeks so that's when I started a military based bedtime routine of bath change milk sleep in her cot next to my bed then I would go downstairs with the monitor and when I went to bed at 10.30ish I would dream feed her then and then she would usually wake every 4 ish hours from then on, and I will do the same with H this time tbh I can't wait for it cos in the evenings he's so unsettled and tired not really knowing what he wants and I often wonder if its having the lamp on that does it as in the daytime he can be a pest to get to sleep but at night he's like a different baby he goes to sleep on his own with no fuss.

Yes Roofio - you leave them upstairs with a monitor for those 3 hours or so.... Although I in fact did want to go to bed from 8pm many times as I was just tired!

definitely no routine here yet, and not much pattern but still early days...

I would second what legally and others (sorry can't remember who) said re getting into bedtime routine - I am going to start soon doing a nappy change, put into 'nighttime' babygro and give a feed then putting down in bed upstairs. Even if they don't settle at first, it gets them used to the change between day and night and eventually they should start sleeping in the evening allowing time for dinner and wine in peace I didn't bother with much daytime routine but for me this was the most important thing to keep me sane, having my evenings back again.

Wow this thread moves quick!

Rox my dd is exactly the same, she generally feeds from around 7/8 until 9.30 on and off, sleeps for an hour (major tease!) then feeds constantly for hours. Last night she finally dropped off at 3.30am and was awake again by 6.

When she feeds though at night it's just 10 minutes or so manic, not like in the day, she then pushes away starts crying and rooting but fights when I try latch her on. But she won't calm any other way than feeding and even on occasions where she drops off she wakes and starts screaming if I put her in basket. Vicious circle!!

Natalie I've had the same re bleeding, nothing fur past couple days so didn't put a pad on last night - got up this morning to what looks like a murder scene on my side of the bed... Another pair of PJs in the bin! I'd quite like to be a man about now, my body is ruined!!!

I take back some of my complaining... Just had a lovely 15 mins of smiling and giggling from both twins! [heart melts]

Btw, re my "routine" above, bear in mind the twins are two months old (today!)....

Funkky - I'm sure you've tried everything, but co-sleeping...? On v v fussy nights, I would just open my bra and do safe co sleeping... Huge hugs to you x

legally thank you. I am going to try your suggestion of a bath to make her less fussy. Will also try keeping her upright after feeds as I often lie down with her at night (co sleeping through necessity rather than choice) and then she'll kick off and I'll end up sat back up with her feeding again,

excited our babies sound like they are on the exact same "routine"; including the 1 hour tease before the frenzy begins! Will your DD sleep well (except for waking up to feed) until about 11am if you let her?

I read somewhere about drinking Guinness to calm a fussy baby, although the research suggests that it doesn't actually affect the baby itself, but instead has a calming effect on the mother instead (which in turn helps the baby to calm). I tried it last night (had less than half a pint at 9pm), and although I was awake with A until gone 3am, I found that I wasn't as stressed about it all. Probably just a placebo, but one I am happy to continue testing if it makes the fussiness less stressful for one of us.

Those who are looking for a baby monitor still; I see the Angelcare movement and sound monitor is heavily reduced on Amazon to £53 here . I have one, and would like to tell you all how good it is, but my velcro baby hasn't yet tested it out.

I drink Guinness every eve for this reason....!! Back in the day, Guinness for the mother was prescribed (by the dr!!) for feeding problems!

No routine at all here. Thomas refused to to sleep most of the day while in laws were here yesterday, fed every hour during the night, and has caught up on sleep this afternoon.

Are people buying new non-maternity clothes? I slimmed down a bit in the first week but now seem to be just staying as I am, which I measured today and is still 4 or 5 clothes sizes bigger than pre-pregnancy on top, waist and hips eek. I had planned to just stay in maternity clothes for a while but it is all summery dresses or work wear and I don't think there is much chance of me getting back to my old size before the winter sets in (don't intend to try other than daily walk). I don't particularly want to spend a fortune on 'fat' clothes.

Yes, The word is definitely pattern not routine.

Someone needs to create a new (postnatal?) thread very soon!

Rox I imagine she probably would. Often she wakes for a feed between 6 & 7am and after this dh usually gets up with her to give me an hour or two sleep, if he changes and dresses her etc it wakes her for a little before she drops back off but if left alone then she does just fall back asleep for a further few hours. Then again that sets the tone for most of the day, often she'll have a 3, sometimes even 4 hour sleep between day feeds. I would give anything for her to swap her day and night patterns at the minute!

Orange I'm struggling with bottom half clothing. My tops from pre pg mostly fit (as long as I don't think about the noticeably increased tightness around the belly) but I'm pretty sure my hips are wider than they were before. Have just ordered some new stretchy jeans online to try on as I'm still wearing maternity jeans and they fall down left right and centre! If the jeans fit will get a couple of diff colours to hopefully last through the winter then reasses when new year sales are on :-)

Don your gowns and mortar boards: Antenatal bus graduates thread here

Thanks MrsH!

Thanks MrsHN, I was starting to get worried

sanjifair I have tried white noise (DH always uses it has his first port of call to calm her down because he loves it too) but within minutes of turning it off A is wide awake and fussing again! Tempting to keep it on all night (DH would love that) but I think it would drive me potty!