October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

Nearly new thread time........are we all done here? Are we moving to postnatal?

Good to hear we're not the only ones with no routine (think DH is a bit irritated by this and expected her to be like clockwork by now!)

I would really like to get a bedtime routine though but I'm not quite sure how or when to go about introducing it, or even what to do as part of it. Any ideas from you experienced mums?

Will post properly later, but re routines... We have a loose bedtime one (will explain this afternoon) but my (actually pretty good) HV said that to expect a consistent routine pre four months is unrealistic and not recommended as babies still need demand feeding up to four months... So might want a feed after 2/3 hours but might genuinely need one after 45 minutes and to withhold a feed is teaching them that you won't respond to they're needs.... But def yes to a routine in a few months!!!!

We have a loose bedtime routine - LO cluster feeds every evening from 6/7pm / midnight (although this can go to 2am) but after his last lengthier feed, he'll start nodding off at the boob so I let him sleep on me for 10 or 15 mins then put him in his moses.

Throughout the night he'll wake every 2/4 hours for a feed and we do feed for 15 mins, then change nappy, then finish feeding for another 15 mins. By this point he's normally falling asleep again so as above, let him sleep on me before moving to the moses.

We'll repeat that as often as he wakes up so although it's still based on demand feeding, it feels as close to a routine as possible at this point as this is normally consistent every night!

To add, this will go through to 9.30am(ish) before he wakes up properly.

The daytime is a completely different story as he can feed every 45 minutes and rarely wants to go down for a nap and if he does, it'll only be for an hour max.

We have a similar 'routine' to untitled. Except N rarely settles after the 6am feed so his currently on my lap looking dozy buy definitely not sleeping. The routine is baby led so not always liable to change.

sephy we have a routine already, but it was completely led by baby. Feed at 6ish, they manically tryto keep awake and not crying until 6.50, then bath with daddy. I then take her in bedroom, she gets.olive oiled up, dressed and swaddled. Then full feed on both boobs, cuddle and down into Moses basket, sometimesasleep, sometimes awake. We then do nappy change and feed at 10.30, she never takes more than 10 mins, then back in Moses basket. She will then wake between 3 and 4 for a feed, but I have an alarm set as sometimes she doesn't wake. I don't change nappy unless she poos. She thn wakes for a feed 3 hours later, so between 6 and 7.

We are very lucky as she is very young to have such a predicatable night time and she basically did it herself. As she gets older I will drop the 10.30 feed, and then add stories between bath and bedtime feed.
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we couldn't have much of a rountine here as H is so unpredictable still. the two nights before last he wouldn't sleep till 2am and was fussing all night. last night he slept from 6 30pm and is still asleep now!! woke for feeds at 10 30, 3 and 7! when he becomes more predictable we'll have a change of clothes and story before bed and bath every few nights probably. but for now I'll just stick to going at his pace.

dp went out last night and came home so drunk, was hilarious. I had to go down and wake him up on the sofa twice, at 3am and again at 7! he must have gone back down and fallen asleep again!! the first time he came upstairs and saw H and was so happy and excited cos he'd forgotten we had him. haha

Re routine, not definite but trying to at least have night time feeds quiet and in the dark. Routine driven by ds so upstairs just after seven. I feed dd while we re having dinner beforehand. Quick bath and then olive oil massage. Then feed, falls asleep around 845. I was waking her at 11 but not now. She'll wake up herself anytime from midnight to 200 am. I then feed and change nappy as she's almost always pooed. Then feed again and she sleeps until 400 then nappy change and sleep but can take an hour or more. Trying to get up around seven. Doesn't always work though.

We don't have a routine as such, but there is a pattern.

Most of the time S will go 3 hours between feeds during day and 3 or 4 hours during the night. He feeds for 30 - 60 minutes each time, so I always end up offering both breasts.

From 5pm to 9ish he likes to feed all the time - if I can find a moment where he is settled enough I give him a bath and quick oil massage. If not I top and tail. On a good day he is asleep and in basket by 930/10am (usually has to fall asleep being held).

Then feeds 11/12pm, 3/4am, 6/7am and 9/10am. After the 9/10am feed I top and tail, then dress him for the day.

However there are plenty of times when he wants feeding after 2 hours, and the odd occasion when he goes 5 hours. So it is all still pretty unpredictable, but (as I keep telling DH) he is only 4 weeks old!

We're like Georgie, there's no routine but there is a pattern. He goes 3.5 hours between feeds usually, but yesterday he wanted feeding after 2-2.5 hours for a couple of feeds. Once he's fed I put him over my shoulder and he usually falls asleep, then I put him in his basket once I think its safe have done the floppy arm test.

Last night at the 11pm feed I cocked it up and had to start again with another feed before he would settle...

I'm afraid we're not very good about bathing him and we don't do it very often, but his skin is quite dry so I'm trying not to exacerbate it.

Oops, should have been "asleep and in basket by 930/10pm"!

And roofio I love that your DP was so excited when he found H upstairs! Very funny and so sweet.

We're like Georgie, there's no routine but there is a pattern. He goes 3.5 hours between feeds usually, but yesterday he wanted feeding after 2-2.5 hours for a couple of feeds. Once he's fed I put him over my shoulder and he usually falls asleep, then I put him in his basket once I think its safe have done the floppy arm test.

Last night at the 11pm feed I cocked it up and had to start again with another feed before he would settle...

I'm afraid we're not very good about bathing him and we don't do it very often, but his skin is quite dry so I'm trying not to exacerbate it. I don't top and tail much, partly because I'm a bad lazy mother but also because we're using washable wipes which are just water and essential oil, so they don't leave residues on his skin and I think leave home pretty clean.

Sorry, don't know why that posted twice!

I'm jealous of you all having babies with a half decent body clock! Ailla fusses every single evening from 9pm, she's never gone to sleep before midnight, usually around 2am, although more recently she's been going until gone 3am. She'll feed from one boob for a matter of minutes, come off screaming, I'll put her on the other boob, feed for a few minutes, come off screaming. Root around frantically but refuse either boob instead choosing to scream at it, so then I have to bounce her around for a while to calm her down. Once calm I can then usually put her back on a boob, and the cycle starts again! It's quite stressful...

Do those doing oil massages think it's beneficial to baby? In what way?

Rox we have similar babies.

We have no routine whatsoever it's just muddling through each day.

Plus I have a Velcro baby who will only sleep on me or dp and if we put her into her Moses basket she instantly wakes!

Both dp and I were needy babies and children so it was inevitable that our offspring would be needy also!

Flyer........sorry to hear that you are having a tough time at the moment. A maternity nurse usually lives in and does 24 hour care. Generally for 5 or 6 days a week. You might only want a night nanny (that's what I used to do). They generally come in for 10 hours overnight. The pay for both is similar ie 24 hour mat nurse will cost about £140-£160 for a single baby and a night nanny will cost £12-£16 per hour.
tonya is lovely and will be able to help you find someone. eden maternity are also very good.

I was reading this breastfeeding site yesterday and thought that it was interesting. Others here may like it too?

Also very jealous of all the lovely babies who go 3 to 4 hours between feeds. A can go 3 hours but only does it if we are out because she always sleeps in the car seat or pram. Usually she goes 1.5 - 2 hrs between feeds day and night with cluster evenings every couple of days. She only ever feeds for 5 - 15 minutes and only from 1 boob. I thought that was ok but if lots of you are feeding for 30 mins or more but then don't have to feed again for a good length of time I might try harder to get her to feed longer/ on both boobs.

flyer yes we do have very similar babies - ditto on the velcro and the crying as soon as she's put down in her cot!

Ruby.....Amelie only feeds from one side for about 10 minutes and generally goes 3 hours between feeds. If she hasn't woken for a feed during the day, I will wake her after 3 hours. In the afternoons and evenings, she is less likely to last 3 hours and it becomes for like every 2 hours until bedtime at about 9pm she will then sleep until 1 or 2 and then go every 3 hours again

Thanks wicked. I'd looked and thought a night nanny is what we need. I've found 2 already but will have a look at those links.

Ruby my baby also feeds for 5-15 mins one boob only. I've tried everything to make her feed longer but I didn't have much luck. Although she goes 3-4 hours in the day and 2.5-3 hours at night.

I can't wait until I have some sort of a routine. I want to be able to put her in a Moses basket upstairs and be able to sit downstairs with dp a glass of wine, dinner and chill for a few hours.

wicked thanks for that link to the breastfeeding site, I have bookmarked it so I can read about the different stages as I reach them. Also, I am very jealous of your baby's routine!

Ruby A will sometimes take an hour to feed, other times she seems content after a 5 minute feed (which my HV referred to as a 'snack')

flyer I'm looking forward to knowing what my baby us going to do and when. Last week I sat in a John Lewis parent room and fed her for 45 minutes. When she was done (floppy arm test = successful) I put her in the buggy and walked back into the store. Within 5 minutes she was crying and when I picked her up she started rooting again, so I had to go back into the parent room and feed her for another 30 minutes. I don't mind because it wasn't a pay and display car park but I did feel a bit silly walking back into the parent room and seeing the same (more experienced) Mums still in there and wondering if they thought me to be useless! (I am sure they didn't).
Being able to put her in her cot of an evening would be lovely too.

Did anyone stop bleeding then start again? h is 3.4 weeks today and the last few days my pad has been empty so wore no pad yesterday and all was fine then done the same today and leaked onto my trousers.... Lucky I was At home also my milk had finally stopped leaking in the week and hasn't done for days now and yet today that seems to have started leaking again even though its only a small amount

Nat might be your period?
rox and flyer have you tried 'zapping' with white noise when they start fussing on the boob? I use a white noise app on my phone, it just calms DD down and then she latches on and suckles herself to sleep.