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November 2012 - into the third trimester

999 replies

StuntNun · 11/08/2012 12:44

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1529536-November-2012-reaching-the-six-month-mark

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Thechick · 21/08/2012 10:35

I don't have a regular pattern for kicks. Now I'm back at work I'm getting more kicks during the day (but this is only day 2 of being back), I think LO doesn't like me sitting down. If I lie on my back in the morning I can usually get some and see him moving around but there is nothing regular and its always more squirming than kicking and he's always been like that. He loves being shoved on my right hand side for some reason, looks so odd. We are supposed to start counting at 28 weeks aren't we.

ValiumQueen · 21/08/2012 10:38

tits hugs from me too. I really empathise as I know it is not going to get any easier. One advantage though is with SPD hopefully it wil go very quickly after delivery. With DD2 I was in less pain with the CS wound than I was before I had her. My pelvis was getting a bit sore on the school run. I have been extremely lucky so far.

horsey I don't quite understand what you mean. If I have missed details I apologise. Is it your FIL who was recently bereaved and wants to visit all the time?

StuntNun · 21/08/2012 10:46

Horsey why can't your SIL visit your FIL is it too far? Even then she could still phone him couldn't she. It's a bit worrying that your FIL's friend was phoning though. Is your FIL in a really bad way?

OP posts:
ValiumQueen · 21/08/2012 10:49

Various different opinions on kick counting. One way is to pick the same time each day when you know little one will be active, usually when you are trying to go to sleep, and timing how long it takes to feel ten kicks, punches, swishes etc. it should take less than 2 hours.

Another way of doing it is to check when you feel something may be wrong, eg if usually your LO is so very active they are punching you all the time, then you notice the pattern changing, but not necessarily consciously. You can repeat the counting a few hours later, or call triage when you first notice a difference. I would always say call sooner. From around 28 weeks is recommended.

Most days I know full well baby is fine and dandy, but the other day he was quiet, it seemed, so I went and laid down in bed, on my left hand side, and had been walloped 10 times in a couple of minutes, if that.

Always rely on your gut instinct, and monitor movements. The days are gone when you can be reassured by the Doppler only. If a baby is struggling, movements will decrease, but heart beat may be fine for some time. If movements change or decrease, get it checked by a professional.

horseylady · 21/08/2012 11:01

Yes mil died in march after two years battle with cancer.

It's very long and complicated but he's had a fabulous life and basically wants that to continue. He would never accept a terminal diagnosis, and always prayed for a miricle. Even when she was very ill he still maintained his travels.

I appreciate he's lonely, I understand he's not coping. We do, however, see him 4 nights a week. I work 3 nights, so dh and I spend next to no time with each other. Then all fil does is moan about how much time he's spending alone. When all we want is that time!! There's another holiday story mixed up in all this and he feels his entire summer has been ruined as no one has taken him away (sil ) but he's such hard work, hates children and so on.

He's offered nothing towards our baby, he's barely acknowledged the fact I'm pregnant and to be honest it's taking all my strength to not tell him as is.

I actually think his friend has done right calling sil. Ive a mind to speak to this chap though and tell him our side of the story (assuming fil only says what we don't do) but I know dh wouldn't allow it.

I'm near tears writing this. I don't know what will happen when the baby arrives, other than me being very alone!!

Catbag · 21/08/2012 11:06

Aw Horsey, that all sounds so stressful

kissyfur · 21/08/2012 11:31

Hugs to horsey and tits and sorry to hear about your contract missmummy although maybe not having to look after that child anymore will be better for your stress levels??! Can't believe he said that to you

Thanks for the info on kick counting valium

Been reading a few woo threads about children talking about before they were born that were active last night. Fascinating stuff! Anyone else had a look?

Thechick · 21/08/2012 11:54

kissy that sounds really interesting, what were the threads under? I remember seeing something on television years ago about the same kind of thing. A bit spooky.

ValiumQueen · 21/08/2012 11:57

horsey that is horrible for you ((((( hugs ))))) Something has to change, but it is a no win situation - someone will end up getting hurt, and that needs to be FIL, not you, although you will be upset at him being upset obviously. He has had his wonderful happy life, you are just starting the best bit of yours, and you and DH need time together to be a couple, and when babyhorsey arrives, a family. I think your DH needs to kick SIL up the arse, and he needs to give his Dad clear boundaries in relation to his behaviour, visiting etc.

Having no time together as a couple is no good for a relationship, and when junior arrives there will be even less time, and the relationship will need even more effort to maintain. Even the most stable of relationships will feel pressured with a little one.

Is there anything social that FIL can be encouraged to do? Obviously not suggesting dating or anything, but perhaps a bowling group or men's group, a hobby etc?

As a place to start, how about arranging a date night for you and DH and (your DH) tell FIL that you are out on that night, gradually cutting down on time spent at yours.

Iheartpasties · 21/08/2012 11:58

horsey that sounds awful. It's such a shame for youa nd your dp as this should or could be a lovely time for you two to enjoy each others company before things change a baby arrives! You FIL sounds like a lot of work, I understand it is hard for him but he also doesn't seem to see anyone elses lives are important. He should know full well that you are both looking forward to your baby arriving. I'm sure you will cope wonderfully and get out and about no end with your LO and I hope your FIL situation calms down.

I had DH at home all day today, what a bonus, he was 'working from home' but he just had to email and do a couple of phone calls, so we went out for lunch. It was nice, I am sure dd was confused though! She must think it's Saturday/the weekend! I have a friend calling around tomorrow so I had better try and get this pig sty looking a bit better.

Our neighbour knocked earlier and she had the most giant teddy you have ever seen (I will put a pic on FB) she was giving it away - so I said we'd happily take it, dd gave him a big hug, it was so cute. I am a sucker for cuddly toys, the flat is being taken over! The bear is litterally twice the size of dd :)

I also bought a bumbo from ebay - it seemed a good price and we used one with dd, so I thought we'd use one again (we borrowed one before). I know some people don't like them though.

Sorry for waffling :)

ValiumQueen · 21/08/2012 12:03

pasties there has recently been a recall on bumbos due to idiots putting them on raised surfaces then not supervising, resulting in baby falling, usually on head. There is a safety belt attachment that you can get free. I have two bumbos, never been that impressed with them personally, but will get this attachment for when I sell on.

Iheartpasties · 21/08/2012 12:05

valium thats a wonderful suggestion, I agree, try and 'book in' a date night for you and your dh, you will feel so much better for it :)

oh and missmummy sorry to hear about your money stresses.

ValiumQueen · 21/08/2012 12:14

You can always stay home and just shag all night Grin Seriously though horsey you have to put you and your bump first, then DH, then others.

Also, do not feel alone, you have us! Xxxxxx

kirrinIsland · 21/08/2012 12:20

horsey that sounds awful :( Sounds like sil needs a wake up call.

Iheartpasties · 21/08/2012 12:28

valium yes I had heard something about a safety strap. I don't think I will leave this one un-suppervised when in the bumbo :)

ValiumQueen · 21/08/2012 12:44

pasties I did not think for a second you would! DD2 threw herself back in hers the first time she sat in it. Not sure a strap would have stopped that. She has always has legs a kangaroo would be proud of.

izzybizzybuzzybees · 21/08/2012 13:02

Well I had my supposed consultant appointment. He was on annual leave so seen one of the junior drs. That would usually be fine but the reasons I am seeing consultant are due to previous problems and it was him that wanted to keep an eye on me. Hubby had taken a day off so he could come as important stuff was going to be discussed. Instead this was a routine appt for bloods, BP check and fundal height checks! Waste of time! He has suggested I am induced near due datedue to my SPD though.

kissyfur · 21/08/2012 13:06

thechick there are a couple active in the philosophy/religion/spirituality section. One is called 'DD seems to know all about my past' the other is called 'before we were born - in search of woo' Smile

applepieinthesky · 21/08/2012 13:20

Never knew that about bumbos. I was considering getting one but will pass on it now. If this little one is as active outside the womb as he is in it then a bumbo would be asking for trouble.

Made a cockup at work yesterday. I spent half of this morning trying to work out what exactly I've done wrong and looks like it will take most of the afternoon to put it right Sad It's a mistake I have never ever made before in four and a half years and I can't work out why I would have done it. Can I blame baby brain? Roll on 12th October

Peaky1 · 21/08/2012 13:33

Horsey - this probably sounds odd but I remember this advice from a time management seminar thingie I went to a while ago. Lots of people used examples spilling into home life of where time management was difficult. One woman talked about looking after older, poorly relatives where nobody else was pulling their weight. When the instructor came up with any solutions she just kept saying 'but nobody else will do it'. In the end the instructor said bluntly (but in the nicest way possible) 'if you died, became ill yourself or went away...SOMEBODY would have to do it'. That did make her stop and think and she agreed with him. However, the point was that, as you know, something has to give in order to involve other people and also get a message accross to those who may be unreasonible (e.g. both SIL and FIL). Unfortunately it does sound like true feelings need to be addressed and put on the table or else this will carry on and you'll be waiting for someone to get a polite hint...do you think anyone will get it? Probably not. I do think you need the back-up though. This doesn't sound easy at all but if it's to change, somebody has to step up. You have your little baby to nurture so please try not to feel so bad. Like everyone is saying, at the moment the wellbeing of you and your baby are of primary importance xx

DesperateHousewife21 · 21/08/2012 14:12

kissy yes I was reading that thread, there were only a few posts when I saw it but will try and find it again if it's got bigger.

Been swimming with ds and friends this morning, had a nice time and my maternity tankini did its job well!

MissMummy1 · 21/08/2012 14:35

Hugs to horsey - sounds like a really awkward yet stressful position to be in. I would have snapped long before now!

Spent a lovely morning with yellowwellies and her sister and kids. Compared heartbeats on my fetal doppler which was amazing! Trying to work out what team each other is on - I'm convinced mine's a boy and yw's was more horse sounding than my train so maybe we're one of each??

Oh and 100 days to go today!!

DesperateHousewife21 · 21/08/2012 16:07

Docs are useless. I went there for another dose of the aspirin I've got to take and she had no idea what I was talking about. She didn't know it's routinely tested for, she didn't know they prescribe it when you do have the low hormone.

She gave me 52 days worth though which will take me to 35 weeks which should be enough.

horseylady · 21/08/2012 17:08

Thanks everyone. Yes if we weren't here they'd have to find a solution. The problem is we are here and we are the solution. I understand he's grieving I really do, however, without wanting to sound horrid, it would be nice if he didn't keep telling us about it!!! Dh also lost his mum in all this. Perhaps I should attempt to speak to his gp too. Though I think he'd fallen out with him at the last count. You do not know how difficult this man can be!

Dh21 at least you finally got the prescription!! I have low iron so am on iron tablets. Excellent will also need the laxatives to go with them!!

Seeing the baby tonight!! Got my 4d scan. Really hoping the guy isn't as awful and slimey as he sounded on the phone!!

TitsalinaBumSquash · 21/08/2012 17:23

The 4D scans are great! I've put mine on the fb group if anyone wants a nosey, although we didn't get a lot of great shots, little one wasn't co operating at all! Still amazed at what they can do these days. Smile