November 2012 - into the third trimester

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1529536-November-2012-reaching-the-six-month-mark

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Glad you're ok YW
congratulations on your niece jaylee

Sorry about your redundancy rowing although it sounds like you might do ok out of it. I was threatened with redundancy in June (luckily got redeployed instead) and my payout would have been based on my part-time hours even though I had only been part-time for 6 months and had been full time for nearly 6 years before that -grrrr

mrswee congratulations and commiserations - focus on the good part. I would love to think that mums aren't treated any differently at work, but we all know it happens :(

Wow am loving folks' name ideas. Cassius in particular is an awesome name!!! MissMummy yours are lovely - I love Luna. We have decided and I really really want to share but won't until we meet the wee one - as am just not certain until we see him / her.

Rowing sorry to hear about your job. Sorry also to others with money worries.

I've finally got a definitive answer from HMRC about Maternity Allowance. I am, by 3 days only (thank god!) entitled to it - but won't be able to submit my claim until I've been registered as self employed for 26 weeks AND paid my class 2 NI - which I do six monthly via my accountant - so have been told to apply the week of my due date and / or after junior arrives. Great system! Just what you fancy doing with a newborn - battling with the taxman.... jeez they don't make it easy do they!!!!

Oh and who suggested Amazon for cravings?

Whoever it was - oh wise and sage and wonderful lady - I LOVE YOU!!!! On this remote wee island I have been unable to get hold of my most random craving, literally no shop stocks them - Crinkly mini cheddars cheese and onion. I've just bought a box of 30 packs and am doing a happy dance

Hi everyone. Sorry to hear of not so great news for mrswee and rowing.

I'm not doing so great. SPD is much worse over last few days and i need crutches all the time to venture out the house. I dont expect it will be long until i need them in the house too :-( Hubby back at work next week and as I have a 2 year old its going to be hard!

Physio tomorrow and more acupuncture so hoping that takes the edge off. I have 28 week antenatal clinic next tues so will be asking Dr about painkillers as i am loathe to take much.

Argh. Awful pain in my hip. Just can't massage or rub it better. No position is comfy.
Also having that head fuck thing of omg I'm pregnant. How did I get to this stage of my life. I still feel like a kid. Omg I'm married. N grown up. Surly I can't be the only one who gets these head fucks.

Oh I just wana sleep. Gota get up at 7 am

My sister and gran were trying to guess the baby's name yesterday. It's not in the top 100 so that made it harder for them!
They didn't guess the first name but the middle name we've picked is in the top 100 and my gran came across it (I didn't say we're using it) ad she said she hate that name!
So we'll see what she thinks of it when baby is here, bet she says she likes it!

Also had a horrible dream that I had the baby last night but obv being a dream it didn't make sense and she went off in a boat not sure if that's a good thing or not.
I think it's because I was talking to dh about the ds' birth and how things might go this time and that in taking lots of food and drink this time!

I can't sleep!

The rock solid bump must have been very scary yw. I'm glad the baby and you are ok.

GT I have exactly those thoughts! As I was laying DS in his cot last night and saying goodnight baby boy, I thought Oh my god, I've got a baby boy, I'm married, in my own house and have a cat and am going to have another baby. It was in a kind of oh shit, when and how did all this happen way?!

Sorry to hear about the SPD izzy (I think, I'm on my phone so can't scroll down to check the names). That sounds awful. Hopefully you can get some painkillers to help.

Mrs Wee, that sounds so unfair. It is so shit when you know the real reason is because you are pregnant but no one will ever admit that and you can't prove it. It is positive about your promotion but the fact a clearly more junior colleague got the more senior promotion must leave a bitter taste.

I feel the same way about my redundancy, I'm being paid to leave which I wanted to do anyway but at the same time I know it is not fair. Basically the business I used to work for has been shut down so all the people in it have been put at risk. The reality (in practice and up until a couple of days ago I thought officially) I haven't worked in that team since before I went on mat leave last time. To find out I was going because my old team is going seemed bizarre and more likely to do with the fact I am part time and about to go on mat leave again.

The company contributes £500 to lawyers fees so I'll see what the lawyer says about it all.

stuntnun, I do plan to work after the next baby. In my mind I was planning on taking 9 months maternity and then probably going to work for my dad who has his own accountancy practice (I qualified as an accountant but haven't been working as one for a while). He is planning to retire soon so if I am to do that it needs to be this year really as there is so much I need to learn from him.

Sorry, I didn't want to make this post all about me. I just can't stop all of this going through my head at the moment. It's silly as redundancy is what I've been hoping for for a while.

Just realised that my post took me 50 mins to write! Now I can hear DS through the monitor - he is awake and blowing raspberry noises!

Morning.

I've woken up with a cracking headache and the morning sickness seems to have rejoined me
Still, I have photos being taken today of my bump so hopefully by this afternoon it starts easing up.

DP managed to wake me up (like always) at 5am this morning and decided to ask my opinion on ties for his interview today. Then he went and gave the kids a hug and kiss before leaving so they've also been awake since 5.30.
Can't wait for 4D scan tomorrow then midwife on Monday.
I really hope these last 12 weeks goes quickly but I have a feeling they will drag.

MrsWee I read an article in the paper about just that at the weekend, it seems to be a well known fact that having children damages your career in that way. It sucks but at least you did get a promotion and you won't be worrying about the new 'big' job in the countdown to your maternity leave.

Rowing I'm glad you're making the best of your redundancy and at least your company seems to be quite reasonable if you can negotiate a bigger payout with them. The redundancy process will take over your life for a couple of weeks, it's supposed to be as stressful a getting divorced. I have my final meeting with HR today although they seem to have skipped over the appeal stage so then I'll have to start the tribunal process for unfair dismissal. Part of me wants to take the redundancy package and run, and to be honest if they had agreed to pay my maternity pay then I would have. But they're screwing me over and I think as a matter of principle I need to take it further. It's a real risk that I'll lose out on my redundancy payment but that's only money whereas I think if you're vein mistreated then you have to stand up for yourself. Try and get through the consultation period with the minimum of stress for you and the baby Rowing and remember in the grand scheme of your life it will eventually just be a bump in the road.

• being mistreated lol

Thanks stuntnun and you are right, I will hopefully look back on this as a bump in the road a some point.

It is funny what you say about it being as stressful as a divorce as I was saying I a friend yesterday that it feels like I'm getting divorced! I've been with the company so long, put my heart and soul into it at various stages over the years and it feels like a relationship where I l've known it's not been working but It's still sad when it comes to an end.

I am sorry that your company are not being so accommodating. In my mind it is essential that I get maternity pay AND redundancy pay as I need the maternity pay to see me through the immediate period where I will not be able to get another job and then, when I start looking I need the redundancy to see me through the time it takes to actually find a job. I'm still waiting for confirmation that they will pay the mat leave but have my fingers crossed.

Please keep us updated on how it is going for you - I hope your company sees sense before it gets to the tribunal stage.

YW It was VQ. She is indeed sagacious in the ways of sating cravings :)

Well, I've had five hours sleep. Had to get up early to get partner to work (he is INCAPABLE of getting himself out of bed) and spent hours last night lying in bed upsetting myself thinking about grim things. Feel a little shell-shocked to be awake and contemplating lying on the sofa for a bit, since all of my kids are still asleep. Babies are awake though and wriggling like a pair of vengeful squid :(

All this redundancy talk brings back memories. I was on my mat leave with DD when I was put at risk and subsequently (after all the meetings, solicitors paperwork etc) I was made redundant. I wasn't intending to return to work anyway but it still didn't feel nice. I can be very thankful that my company were reasonable and I got a very decent pay off, but it still felt horrible to be got rid of! I really hope it all works out for those that are going through it now.

I've been going to pregnancy Pilates and aqua natal once a week which I've really enjoyed. Very relaxing as well as beneficial exercise. This baby is still such a wriggler. It's getting worse but I suppose I'm now feeling it more as its running out of room.

Taking DD to the lollibop festival in regents park tomorrow. Weathers looking good so should be fun, if a bit tiring!

It sucks that there is still so much discrimination in the workplace and not a lot you can do about because it can rarely be proved.

My DP has suffered racial discrimination in the workplace before and it was a long hard slog putting the case together. Very time consuming and draining. It took nearly 2 years and seemed to take over our whole lives but we eventually got the outcome we wanted and a nice compensation payment. As well as teaching the bastards a lesson which was the most important thing.

Morning. It is a real jolt into the real world to hear about all these redundancies. I feel for you all, particularly at this time. I work for a massive company that have a brilliant family policy, support flexible working
For men and women. It is amale dominated engineering/energy company and you do get individual managers that haven't really moved with it but in the main it works. I have worked there for about 15 years and when I hear stories like yours I realise what a bubble I am in.

As DH works for the same company he get all the flexibility as well. We are very lucky.

Does anyone else's bump feel a bit tender if you do something like lean over the kitchen surface or the side of a cot?

Since my two recent payrises at work DP is now saying I should go back to work full time after my mat leave.

That has never been the plan and I?m not sure how I feel about it. I don?t want to only see my little boy for an hour in the morning and the same in the evening It upsets me just thinking about it. But I know if we want holidays abroad and nice things then I might have to. I feel like I?m being pressured on this by everyone and I haven?t even had him yet. Everyone has all these ideas about what I should do but nobody has actually asked what I want.

Hi snowfairy, yep, I get a tender stomach too, it feels a bit bruised especially if I do a lot of bending over. I was a bit worried but then took it easy for a day and it got a lot better.

Baby is kicking upwards very vigorously and making me feel sick.

Got really worried last night that I could feel my stomach muscles have separated. However, I think its just because I know that's what they've done this time - I probably didn't twig last time!! It's just a bit freaky though, however normal!! Hope they go back properly afterwards.

Morning all. Sorry to hear of all the redundancies. I never normally get stressed about money as no matter how small a budget we're on we always seem to cope, yet thr past week or two it's all I seem to worry about. We're very fortunate that DH was headhunted for an amazing job 2 months ago that practically quadrupled his salary overnight and is guaranteed for at least the next 5 years - I know nothings guaranteed but the project will take at least that long and his new company is one of thr biggest players in the boat safety world. Yay. On the flipside though I've been working very few freelance hours and my biggest client has slashed their hours due to their own money problems meaning my income is now at the point I'd be better not working, especially after baby is born. Lots of decisions to make but pretty certain I'm going to need to look for employment after maternity leave and put my business plans on hold until the economy stabilises.

Had a rubbish night last night. Didn't sleep at all and had lots of cramps. Contemplated phoning midwife unit at one point but I've had it before and it was put down to muscle stretching and 'overdoing it'. We went for a big hike yesterday afternoon so that must have caused it as I'm fine today. Today will definitely be a lazy day!

ooofff! Lots of news since I last read. So sorry to hear about all the stress. I cannot imagine it! Sorry ladies. I am lucky as I am a SAHM and I will be for as long as we're all happy with it, to be honest we've not discussed it but with dd at 16 months a new one on the way I'm sure I will be a SAHM for a while onger yet. I feel very lucky, and I enjoy it so much.

I had a midwife appointment today. I am so lucky, I can see Sydney from the hospital car park, its so beautiful, you look down across the sea (Sydney Harbour) and see the highrise buildings off in the distance. Anyway my midwife was busy with two biths so I saw someone else and everything is fine. Glucose test results were fine, thankfully, and I had my anti d injection. The midwife asked if I wanted it in my bum! But I said no, my arm is fine!! She said she was happy with everything so I was happy.

I'm starrrrrving, now I'm in the third tri I can on with those extra calories im meant to be having

I eat breakfast at about 8 and that's leaving it as long as poss, then I eat lunch at 12ish sometimes earlier with ds.
What can I eat in between? I get really hungry around 10am, I already eat lunch on the early side I can justify eating any earlier!

Get on*

Good news pasties-think we could all do with some!

My other half was born in Manley, Sydney (I think that's how it's spelled) to an English Mother and Australian Father, and was brought back to the Yorkshire Dales when he was a year old following his parents' separation. He went back to visit his Dad six or seven years ago and said the Sydney Harbour Bridge is one of the most beautiful and impressive things he has ever seen. He also ruined the Opera House for me by telling me that it is actually far smaller than every one thinks, and no where near as impressive as the bridge, lol. Hopefully in a few years we'll be able to afford to fly the seven of us over there so FIL can meet the two new members of the family and I can make my own judgement on the landmarks!