December 2011: Scratching, squeezing, hatching and latching...

[LittleMissHumbuggery]

...and those of us left are doing a fair bit of bitching:o

I wonder if we could get a [pompoms] going on? Do we have the energy for a campaign?

Right, come on! We're a third of the way through the month and Nickelbabe needs new recruits for her advent thread. Get squeezing:o

chincilla I think that is the right attitude!

Babybel has put on 11oz in a week so now 8lbs 7oz, really pleased. Been discharged from MW care now, seeing HV tomorrow which am not looking forward to as have met her before and she is a bit odd. She's one of those who spout textbook answers at you that have no relation to the question that you ask! But am confident now on DC2 that I won't actually need her for anything so will just grin and bear the visits and ignore what she says!

mmm that's totally the right attitude- There are some lovely health visitors out there, but others are distinctly variable in their views... I remember when they altered the solids-weaning guidelines in 2007 (for no reason, there was no new Research basis or anything) from wean-at-4-months to wean-at-6-months, supposedly because WHO wanted to encourage worldwide exclusive breastfeeding til one year for as many people as
possible. I had an extremely hungry four month old DD2 who breastfed constantly, including 2 hourly all night...
So when I started to give her some baby rice and veg puree (exacty as I had done in 2006 for DD1, which was fine
,) my illustrious HV wrote sarcastic notes in DD2s red book, and suggested I switch to hungry baby formula rather than Continue breastmilk and solids..."Mother Advised!!!"

It is tricky though: I get miffed at work when people don't trust my advice, and here I am baFfing on about flaky advice I've received. Can I blame the 'ormones please?

Hope that cervix ripens nicely, darcies, and LMH, how's the jaw pain
Now your tooth is out?

unbelievably I am sat in the hospital to be induced in an hour fingers crossed manage to get started off soon.

Great weight gain, kate!

We've just enjoyed a cheese fondu for lunch, maybe the jeans won't fit tomorrow!

Figgy That's brilliant news :) we can be inducement buddy's

Hmm sort if got period pains and sort if tightenings... Clearly just getting my own hopes up.

Danny phone I meant of not if grr

FFS I meant damn phone not Danny - giving up now

Good luck figgy and Darcies - hope you meet your babies tonight! I am back home now - yay! Had to stay in for 3 days/2 nights due to all the labour issues but me and baby are totally fine now. She has had 2 big feeds today and we are definitely getting the hang of it, but it's hard to learn, isn't it? It is really hard. But I am finding the rugby hold the easiest so far and she has done a few poos since her first lovely tarry effort, which are gradually getting browner and even pooed and weed again as I was changing her earlier! Made me laugh. But it must mean she is getting some nutrition at least. She fed for well over an hour this morning and this afternoon. My milk isn't in yet but she must be getting what she needs from the colostrum. She didn't really feed the first 24 hours but I can't blame her (or me) after the trauma of that birth. It's true what they say though, you forget it so fast ... I am amazed how fine I am already. Stitches are sore, obviously, but already better than yesterday, and my back's a bit sore where the epidural was and I am exhausted as have had hardly any sleep since Saturday night (but managed to get two one-hour naps in today so far, which is great) but I feel fine apart from that. Oh and the baby blues - so random! Really happy but have bawled crying several times today for no reason, just stuff on the radio or tv. Crazy hormones!

Hope everyone is getting on okay. I was so nervous bringing home minimopsy but now I am home I am feeling more relaxed. Having a nice nap in my own lovely bed and feeding her in my own bed was so much nicer than hospital with all the other bawling babies around!

p.s. Air sorry to hear HV is still causing problems, I would make a complaint officially (written) if you could. And also just ask for her to be taken off your case, as she is obviously just causing you so much stress. Hope it works out soon.

p.s. Tyel he's gorgeous! So much hair! Awww.

Hi mopsy- posted on other thread too, but just to add my baby blues were the same. Two days after birth I spent the evening unable to get a sentence out without bawling! Had to get my OH to make all the calls as I was even crying at biscuits ffs... was actually laughing at myself at the same time though, it was bizarre !

Impressed with everyone's LOs' weight gains!

Hey girls congrats to all the people I have missed!

Total me post so feel free to ignore!

I'm not sure if my baby blues are lasting ages, or if it's pnd, but I feel so down.... I should be happy and smiley but I'm just not. I love my little fella, but I don't get any rush of emotions when I look at him. And I feel so guilty as I will never get these newborn weeks back... I should be enjoying them and cherishing every minute!

I met up with the girls from antenatal yesterday and they were all so happy and wrapped up with their babies, it made me feel even worse :(

Having a mixed evening. Had some fun earlier but completely down now. Had an argument with an old friend. Know am stroppy due to hormones, but can't explain that as friend isn't aware am pregnant. Argument about children too so I was on a major defensive/offensive growl.

Very ready to go home now, and there's a couple of hours of the evening left. Want to have a hissy pregnancy flap and cry and I'm not allowed:(

Sorry for being self indulgent.

kri5sty, hopefully it's the blues taking a bit longer to go...do be aware that "should" thoughts are always going to instill guilt, if you get them try to move the focus into a positive thing (no matter how small) you can do with little one. External viewing of other mums may make you feel that they are all doing fantastically, but honestly some of them will be putting on a front and feeling dire themselves, others will be coping far less well than you are but keeping very quiet about it. They may think you are looking brilliant too and so not want to reveal how they are feeling! Also if you are still low then that will make you underestimate your attatchment to baby: it's not ubiquitous to feel instant attatchment/love to baby, it often takes time. Listent to how you're feeljng, keep posting here, and have a (((hug))).

LMH, this is a safe place (ish as open forum) to have as much of a hormonal flap as you like, so feel free. We all do it!

I just want to flounce :o :(

Might leave early. The meal was earlier and the action part of the evening should be over in half an hour or so.

kri5ty take care chuck. These first few weeks are an assault cause for heart and mind but it all settles down in the end:)

Also I have been told to 'share' my birth story to try and help, but I think you all already know but here goes-

At 3pm on the Sunday I lost my plug and had bada backache all night and didn't sleep, then on the Monday we were mention to go out with fil, I sent oh by himself as my back was so sore. Had a bath and realised they were contractions. Oh came home at 2pm, and we went to hospital.

I was 3cm, but as i was due to have N early epidural at 4cm they let me stay. There were no rooms so I was in the waiting room (which was full) bent over a chair, with my bum in someone face! I then got sent to the canteen ( again bent over a table with each contraction) after an hour we went back as I was in a lot of pain, so they sent me for a bath.
Again no rooms, so I was sent back to the waiting room. At around 10pm a room was available and the epidural was put in at 11pm ( after 2 attempts at putting it in, and 4 attempts at my
Iv.

It was going fine for a long time, and I had top ups every hour. The ms said she hadn't seen contractions as strong as mine... I said it must be the raspberry tea! They had to burst my waters... Took 20 mins!

I'm not too sure on time scales with the next part as I was in so much agony, but the whole of my stomach was so painful, it wasntbcontractions, it was constant, and so tender no one could touch it. I vaguely remember the ms saying she couldn't tell which way Saul was as his head was so swollen ( an indication, looking back, to me that he was stuck?) but anyway hours of me screaming in agony passed. In the end a newly qualified midwife went behind the back of the head midwife (oh has told me), and called a surgeon.
He came in, took one look at me, and started arguing, saying it was shocking, and I should have been in theatre hours ago ( it was now 15.00 on the Tuesday). The me was saying I was fine bla bla, and triedputting me on a paracetamol drip. He ended up ripping it out (after it took her 4 attempts), and carted me off to theatre. He thought I had an internal bleed, and was going to do a c section. I was given a spial block and outon oxygen as baby was in distress...Luckily when ingot there I was 10 cm, so they did an episiotemy and forceps.

I don't really remember many details, as I was in that much pain, but I was on the epidural from12am Tuesday morning, until 15.00, theatre at 15.30 and Saul was born at 16.12

Afterwards I was in agony, I couldn't lie on my back or have anything touch my stomach. I was literally clinging to the side of the bed, pulling all my weight off the bed with my arms. They gave me loads of morphine, which didn't do anything. Doctors and surgeons came to visit all the time as no one knew what was wrong.

After a couple of nights I decided to lie and say I was a bit better so they would let me out, assi hadn't slept for 4 nights. I didn't have Saul with me as I couldn't move at all, let alone get out of bed, the mws had him with them.

Once back home it took another week and a half before I could hold him or even feed him.

My stitches are still a little tender, and I still have a bad back and cantbwalk properly.

Sorry for the me post again.... Not sure how talkin about it would help... But I guess here is as good a place as any to do it!

Grr stupid iPad, and typos!

Oh kri5ty, that's a hell of a time, you've done so well to get through that it's not surprising you're feeling raw from it. It may be worth (later on) asking the hospital if you can access their Birth Reflection service: they will get your notes out and go through them with you to enable you to ask questions aboutt what happened and why at each stage, it may not be something you want to do but I had a friend with a very similar protracted birth story (hers was almost identical but ended in a crash GA section when the forceps bit failed and she bled). She said that going over it later with the midwife didnt change
What happened but gave her closure and helped her contemplate her second pregnancy (that she wanted but was v scared about after experience 1. She now has a second child).

Anyway, forget the birth reflection stuff now, if it helps to post here please do, you're not alone, you are being incredibly
strong even if it doesnt feel like it, especially in being honest about how you feel. Hopefully as the days go on and you physically recover, you will find your mood lifting a little and feel less numb, and then even enjoy slme of the little things. It's always hard in the early stages when your sleep deprived (which is a mood depressant in itself) and baby doesn't "give" much in terms of interaction/appreciation. When he smiles/reacts more to you, you may find a bit more of an empathy develops (that's about 6-10 weeks so its early days)
Xxx

kristy I hope writing it out helps. Your treatment by the midwives really reminds me of DD1's birth and I think the thing I found hardest to deal with was the feeling of not being listened to, of the universe and his dog knowing how I felt better than I did. The birth de-briefing service really helped me to get things straight in my head (like you I had mixed up and missing memories) which helped me to move on. I did wind up with PND and PTSD, but I do think that talking more about it would have stopped this and I am a high risk person for depression in any case, but if you do keep feeling low please do go and talk to your GP.

Am sat on the labour ward DH allowed to stay with me but think hes going to opt to sleep in the car its 25 degrees in here am melting. I had to wait until 8.30 until could get the gel in as ended up being monitored for almost 2hrs as baby heart rate was all over place I ended up on a drip for fluids (thank good don't mind needles.....yet) and now have to wait until half midnight for next monitoring but hey its progress.

Its nice having an inducement buddy

Figgy good things are going well your end.

Well I had the gel at 10:45 this morning and was moved to the ante-natal ward about midday, told would be seen again back on labour ward between 5 & 6pm. Was told labour ward extremely busy and would have to wait until change over at 8pm which turned into 9pm! Still told labour ward busy but been monitored down here. Next step is syntocin drip but can't have that in down here as need one to one care. Also told might need iv anti biotics to reduce risk of infection as been almost 48hrs since waters broke. Getting bored of waiting now!

Will update soon.

kristy sorry you're feeling low, you had such a traumatic time. Did they ever figure out why you were in so much pain? Did the epidural not work? Mine only worked on one side so they redid it. I second what aethel and msbuggy said about the post-birth chat with a MW. I had a traumatic birth with DS and only got the post-birth chat a few weeks ago - DS is 2 now! But it did really help to go over my notes and talk about it. I still can't talk about DS's birth without crying even now. One thing that helped me was that I thought for ages that I needed to "get over it" and get closure and not be affected by it any more and when that didn't happen I got down and frustrated. But a friend said to me that it wasn't something I would necessarily "get over" but that I would learn to deal with it better over time. I don't know if that's helpful to you but I found it helped me feel that it was OK to still be upset or traumatised by it and that I didn't have to have everything "sorted" and healed straight away. I don't know if that makes any sense to you but just wanted to say that its perfectly normal to still feel traumatised and that this could also be what is affecting your bond with Saul. I was in so much pain with DS that I just wanted him out and when I first saw him was still in shock and didn't get that immediate bonding rush - that came later when he was in an incubator in NICU. Basically, what I'm saying is that what you're feeling is normal, don't beat yourself up about it, its still very early days and how you're feeling doesn't necessarily mean PND. Just be nice to yourself and if you do start feeling worse or things don't get better maybe have a chat with a sympathetic GP?

figgy - how exciting! Hope all goes well, quickly and as painless as possible!

And same to darcies!