For everyone having difficulties getting bf established, I can report from the lofty heights of having a 4 week old ds that it took until last week for me to feel vaguely confident about it. I think it was the fact that he lost 10% of his birthweight, and it then took two weeks for him to make it back up, that really didn't help. I was bf, then expressing and giving him maybe two or three cups of ebm each day (getting about 20 ml from each expression). All of which he wolfed down, then wanted to get back on the breast. Once he had made up the weight, I gave up with the ebm, so am now just feeding directly from the breast. He's now gained weight, and thankfully in the last one and a bit weeks has been putting on about an ounce a day, so it feels as if it has been worth it. This has involved advice and support from my midwife, health visitor, and a bf peer supporter. It still feels a lot as it he's feeding almost constantly, although we are getting longer periods between feeds occasionally. Once he had made up his lost weight, the HV suggested that at night time, rather than waking him every 3 hours for a feed, we let him sleep. One two occasions he has managed 4.5 hours sleep (bliss!), but we had one night where he went three hours, then two, then one, then 30 minutes (what on earth is his internal clock like?), and another where he fed constantly from 9 pm until 2.30. On a good night, I can get 5 hours sleep, on a bad one, only about 2.5 hours. I've fallen asleep a couple of time whilst feeding him in an arm chair (all wedged in with cushions), but it worries me because I think the FSID advice says you shouldn't fall asleep holding your baby. But seriously - what is the answer? I don't set out to fall asleep whilst I'm holding him, but when it's the early hours of the morning, and you've had less than 4 hours sleep in the previous 24 hours, how can you help it? I don't want to co-sleep, so I'll get out of bed each time he feeds, does anyone have any advice on staying awake? I don't want to down lots of coffee, as ds stays awake anyway without caffeine.
I think it was Reindeer a couple of days ago who posted about not waking up to her baby crying. I think I have the same thing. I think it takes me longer to wake up because I'm so tired (I've had this mn name for years, but it is SO appropriate right now), and I'll lay there for a bit, hearing the cries but it's as if I don't link the noise to my baby crying and they are disconnected. I don't know how long this goes on for, but it feels a while (probably just half-asleep seconds making everything feel longer), so Reindeer, you're not alone.
Was feeling a bit tearful the other day. DS1 (who is 4) has been great since ds2 has been born, but has been getting a bit clingier at bedtime, as he wants either dh or myself to sleep in his room. He made a comment to dh the other night that 'he just wants to be close to us, like mummy and ds2'. It made me want to cry that he feels as if he has been sidelined. We've tried to give him as much attention and reassurance at the moment as we can, but the reality is that sometimes ds2's needs have to come before his, especially once dh's paternity leave finished, and ds2 is physically clamped to my body for large periods of the day. I've tried talking to him about when he was a baby, and was looked after in the same way that ds2 is now, but it obviously isn't enough. My poor boy 
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