June 2012- thread 2 nausea, secrets and extreme (hunger) excitement.

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

[Grin]

Tis all okay everyone! I did some research into 3rd births

Yes, they are 'known' for being the worst, but there is more to it.

Generally (very very), 1st births are longer, more predictable, progress evenly, you ring the mw earlier, you do as you're told etc.

2nd births are comparatively amazing. Whatever went on in the first labour you'll ensure you have more of the good bits and less of the bad bits and plan accordingly as well as know your rights. You'll probably prepare better with reading and breathing etc. that goes beyond NHS stuff. You'll remember it as a doddle and hardly hurting at all.

By the third birth you're a cockey lady. You know how to do it, you think it's a breeze. You have two children so don't bother reading or preparing and just expect it to go like the second (for which you did lots of preparing) and then you are a bit shocked that it doesn't go quite how you remember.

Add to that that 3rd babies are pickles (apparently the labour can be a bit stop/start meaning you go into active labour more tired and a bit stressed because it fecks up your childcare with the false alarms).

And so 3rd births are less fun overall. I don't think that it needs to be like that. Ways round it are preparing for your 3rd like you did your second and trying hard to stay relaxed in the final days. At least that is my story and I'm sticking to it.

Incidently, I don't think MW's negative attitudes to 3rd births are very helpful. I mean it is a bit self-fulfilling to tell a woman that 3rd births are awful and then turn up on the day with those expectations.

my mum had 4 births and said the 1st (me) was easily the worst, and the 4th was grim too. the 3rd was very quick, and my sister was born in the car on the way to the hospital :o I can't imagine why the 3rd would be the worst though? maybe the afterpains?

Thanks for that Starlight.... the MW said that it was to do with muscles being a bit shot for pushing by the third, unlike on the second one, where they are just nicely stretched... Having said that, Ill have a five year gap, so I dont think my body remembers it that well!!

My best friend had her third after easy labour in pool, and said it was her best one.... so I think its a bit random. Agree that its not helpful comment from the MW. Im just going by the fact Im not scared, and last time I actually enjoyed it.... Lovely MW led unit here too (Im not allowed home birth, sadly)!

Oh well, that leads to the whole argument about whether or not pushing is actually necessary.

Given that women in comas can birth their babies, I am a bit skeptical about this whole pushing thing.

Morning all. Hope we're all feeling fabulous today (ish)!
Had my appointment with the gp today as they refer you to the midwife. Oldest doctor in the world who, quite frankly, looked a bit scared when I plonked myself down and announced I'm pregnant! All very straightforward though and just got to wait on contact from midwife now. Apparently this time they'll only be seeing me if there are any concerns, comforting thought.
Got my flu jab too so am officially ready for winter now.
kayzr that is so rubbish about being let down by midwife again! I definitely think you can see the cracks in the nhs appearing now. Its awful how maternity services seem such an eady target.
I'm hoping for a MLU birth which I had last time. I'm definitely already feeling the fear a bit now its not so much a mystery!
Have ms with vengeance at mo. Am only 8+2 so seem to be starting it while others are coming out of it! The loo at work is so far away so have had to make many a mad dash!

Morning all!

mini so glad you and bean are ok....wishing you a speedy recovery!

SSC glad you're feeling a bit more positive this morning. It's so early and you don't need to decide for a while. Do what your instinct tells you as the MW will just be following protocol.

Kayzr that's so frustrating! Really bad service.

I'm yet to hear about my apt...sharting to bug me as everyone else seems to have had theirs. It's 2 weeks since my scan and I'm still not in the NHS system! Also need to decide on flu jab soon.

green glad the kids are a bit better.

And everyone else (there are too many to name!) hope you are all ok.

I can't really add to the third birth debate as this is my first :) though for what it's worth I was the third in my family and mum says I was the easiest birth and the easiest baby! My brother was first and he was worse on both accounts!

I feel a bit better today. Yesterday was rough...felt sick and tired and emotional. DH now scared to talk to me until he finds out what mood I'm in :)
Think he's worried it's going to be a long few months.

Also I hate the fact I'm just getting fatter! I am normally a gym bunny but haven't had the energy and have been a bit scared so other than dog walking I've done no exercise. All my clothes are tight (belly belt from amazon should arrive on Friday) and I just feel fat! Wish I'd hurry up and look pregnant and then I won't mind as much. Don't like DH seeing my body either which is not good for the sex life!

Anyway sorry for the rant! I know getting bigger should be a good thing but I used to have an eating disorder and am finding it tougher than I thought!

Have a good day everyone x

OK so after two days of minimal nausea which was beginning to get me worried it's back and pretty full blown today, ugh. Also I couldn't get comfortable last night despite being exhausted, ended up forcing the DH to change sides of the bed with me because I decided it would be more comfortable!

I've also no contribution on third birth as this is my first but what Starlight said makes sense, I should imagine it has a lot to do with how prepared you are and your (and the midwife's) attitude going into it, seems unconstructive to tell you it's going to be awful though!

Kayzr how annoying, really hope she comes at the weekend

Warlin hope you hear about your appointment soon, maybe you ought to check you haven't got lost somewhere!

SSC I'm glad you feel more positive this morning, on the peanuts front I had a look the literature and it sounds like you've been given outdated advice which has been demonstrated to be unnecessary, this is taken from a 2010 review in the BMJ

"Four key arguments have been raised. Firstly, evidence from randomised controlled trials on the effectiveness of dietary restriction during pregnancy and lactation is conflicting. A Cochrane systematic review concluded that avoidance of foods during pregnancy was unlikely to be effective and that no compelling evidence existed for mothers to avoid allergens while lactating.12

Secondly, an epidemiological study conducted several years after the introduction of the initial UK advice failed to show the anticipated reduction in the prevalence of peanut allergy.13

Thirdly, evidence exists that the original UK advice was not clearly communicated to the target population of high risk families, and this shortcoming resulted in many cases of blanket avoidance of peanuts, even in low risk families.14

Finally, and most fundamentally, evidence is increasing that oral exposure to allergens such as peanuts in early life may be important for inducing immunological tolerance to these foods. Particularly important in this respect has been an epidemiological study that found that the prevalence of peanut allergy was 10-fold lower in Jewish people living in Israel?where peanut butter is used in the weaning food ?Bamba??than in London based Jewish families, who had less frequent exposure to products containing peanut.15"

Incidentally chilli peanut butter sounds awesome, where do you get that from?

Hi all
Mini So glad all is ok. SSC glad you're feeling bettter today. But blooming eck what's going on for you kayzr, that is truly pants, cancelling again. Hope you manage to get it sorted soon.
Well today for me means - 6 months today and my DH comes home. 7 months today and my LO is due, oh how exciting. All I can say is that DH better not be late home.
Hope everyone is having a good day, take care and stay safe xx

Ah 6 months is only 26 weeks. Make sure you take weekly/monthly photos of your bump for him (so it isn't a big surprise when he sees you) and maybe consider a belly cast near the end that you can write your birth story on!?

btw, is there anyone else like me out there that just never looks pregnant.

I mean I have quite a bit of a belly already but a tiny waist and the baby just seems to fill out my waist meaning that at last the gaping waistband of my trousers and skirst fit at last, but then I just look normal as the rest of the baby seems to be concealed in my insulation.

On my due date my doula was having a birthday party for her daughter and invited me (to keep me close no doubt) and many of the guests asked me how I knew her. When I reply that she's my doula they all were desperate to reveal the 'gossip' that someone was coming who was expecting this very day

My baby was 7lb 6oz so not tiny.

Hi everyone - especially the newcomers
I find myself spending so much time catching up on the thread and then never having time to post...
warlin def give them a call and check,with my 1st pg I rang the hospital as I has received no app letters only to discover that my referral had got lost and ended up self referring.

SSC hope you are feeling a bit better since the appointment.

I have my booking app today at 3pm,so will be interested to see how it goes,have to take DS with and as he is a busy boy might be a bit distracting. My scan app letter came with my booking app letter,so scan is 01/12 (2 weeks tomorrow)

Hopefully not long now until we all feel less nauseas Mini so sorry to hear about your hyperemesis!!!!

thedogwalker hoping that 6 months goes quickly for you, will he get to spend the month he's back looking after you or does he still have to work?

Starlight my mum never looked pregnant with any of us in the pictures, will be interesting to see if I turn out similar, haven't gained any weight yet and the only shape change has been my boobs.

Bit of a dilemma here, I've just been invited to go ice skating with friends on one of the rinks they put up in London, I really want to go as I love ice skating but advice seems to be not to because you might fall over. I can deal with not skiing because I've seen the kind of accidents an out of control person can cause which is basically unavoidable but am thinking that in a small space with lots of people no one will have the momentum to take me out badly. We normally go a few times every year and I've never fallen before despite helping others with very little balance and generally messing around a lot.

Oh your bean is well protected in your pelvis still but things to think about are:

a) Your ligaments are a bit softer so a sprained ankle etc is a bit more likely.
b) If anything ever DID happen in your pregnancy would you blame yourself?

At least that is the lecture from my GP I had when I went skiing at the end of the first trimester with my first. As it happened I didn't do much skiing as I was so sick I just stayed in bed complaining that there was no heating in the chalet in the daytime.

Just checking in.

Will catch up properly later x

Ceeej, I think you're brave, I wouldn't do it myself as I could never forgive myself if anything went wrong. But that is me, this is your choice and nobody else should make it for you. Was hoping that would help but it probably hasn't

Rant alert
Ok so I have an ongoing problem with my fil. He is a lovely person in many ways. The problem is that he is a smoker. My dh has told him several times we don't want him smoking near the dc's. He doesn't usually sit there smoking in the same room, as a rule he goes away for a cigarette upstairs or outside. The problem is that now and again (actually quite frequently) he just lights his fag within feet of us and walks past the room we're in trailing smoke behind him. For instance if he's on his way out he'll light his fag in the kitchen then walk through the hall (not rushing) saying bye etc whilst the smoke drifts in to the room. Another one is he'll go to the kitchen (one room away) and smoke there so the smoke clearly drifts through within a few mins.

We were at theirs last night with the boys and the boys cousin and my pregnant sil. The kids we're running backwards and forwards from the lounge to the kitchen/ doing room (the dining room and kitchen are basically one room). Anyway, I was sat at dining table as was dh and mil, fil was stood a few feet away in the kitchen and he just (without warning) lot a fag and stated smoking it in the kitchen. I immediately heard the sound of the lighter and jumped up and gathered the children up and we all went through to the lounge and shut the door. Dh had a rant at mil about how inconsiderate he is when there are three young children and two pg women there and we left

It just makes me do angry and upset that sometimes he just doesn't care enough about his grandchildren to smoke away from them Dh has mentioned sit to him several times since the dc were born as he's done it over and over. He just seems to think we'll be 'ok' with it so does it anyway. Sometimes if we arrive there (we always ring before we go to theirs to warn them we're coming so they won't be smoking when we arrive) Anyway, sometimes we arrive and it literally stinks of smoke and dh mentions it and they just open the window a tiny bit or more likely spray air freshner because he thinks it 'kills the toxins'

I'm just so sick of this issue coming up again and again. They're lovely people apart from this. I don't want to breathe in the smoke and I certainly don't want the dc to. If we didn't go to theirs we'd hardly see them.. (mil is a secret smoker but at least doesn't smoke when we're there ever, although the times when we arrive and it already smells I suppose she could have contributed to).

As we left mil said she'd told fil we weren't happy about the smoking and were leaving and that he'd probably go 'off his head' about it. Why should he be the one getting annoyed?? It's us and our dc that are being affected

Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Hi everyone

Kayzr sorry to hear about ur cancelled app, that is rubbish.hope you get one soon.
SSC glad u are feeling +ive.
ceej I would be so scared to death that the exp would not be fun. Do u really think it's the best.

I am still in hospital as the night was quite rough and the ache in my lower back and legs is still there. I do so want to go home. My mum arrives from overseas tom so really looking fwd to being with here. She might have to come visit me in hospital at this rate. Thank u everyone for being with me and all your best wishes. I am sure I will be out of here soon.

Dalrymps I am completely on your side about this. I wouldn't want anyone smoking anywhere near my DS and now not me either as I don't want to breathe it in and affect my unborn child. It's not like you're asking him not to smoke at all, just not in your presence. Does he not care about the welfare of his grandchildren and care about their health. I would tell them I'm not bringing the LOs over again until he can resolve his selfish issues.

Thanks thedogwalker I feel bad as mil really likes to see the dc. We usually pop in for half an hour most days after I pick from nursery (they live about 5 mins away). I won't be going down there today anyway as I'm just so sick of him doing this despite being told several times. It does hurt me that although he shows his love for the dc in many ways this one thing just seems so uncaring

The thing about that generation is that they grew up surrounded by smoke and don't know anyone that died of it and think that any complaints now are just people being precious and OTT.

This is added to by their addiction and their belief that they are and have been victimised for it over the last decade. Logic of addicts is a bit strange I'm afraid. They sell themselves stories all the time to make their smoking convenient.

My mum is a heavy smoker and her WHOLE LIFE is dictated by her addiction, but that is one thing, the thing that drives me INSANE is her stories and justifications. For example we will be shopping together or something and she'll say 'well, I think I've been with you for a while and you really need some space to make a decision yourself about which of the two dresses so I'll just step outside to help you'.

Or 'No, perhaps we shouldn't really have a desert, come on, let's show some restraint!'

Or, 'why don't I go outside and wait for them so I can help point out a parking space'

And finally; 'exhaust fumes do FAR more damage to children's lungs than cigarette smoke. When they stop puting those fumes in the air, I therefore take no criticisms for smoking from car drivers as they are hypocrites'.

Anyway, you know it is your DP that needs to deal with it otherwise you'll get blamed right?

Starlight Yes, it is always my do who says something because they're his parents and I don't feel it's my place.

I know what you mean about that generation but my dp has told him that smoking can do harm to unborn babies and to children and even pointed out some of the ways it is harmful. My bil also left him a leaflet on the effects of passive smoking (not that I'm sure he read it).

So even if he is ignorant to the effects, surely some of the info we keep telling him has to have got through. Therefore, it seems to me that he knows but selfishly chooses to not be bothered about it

I was a smoker for 20 years, so I know all about the excuses a smoker uses to justify their habit and even knowing what I used to do and how I used to be, I will not allow people who are smoking near my children. It is a very selfish attitude that your fil has, not all smokers are the same. Just before someone takes my head off for being anti smoker and saying I just don't understand

I totally agree on the smoking front. dalrymps it's not hard for him not to smoke for the half hour you're there You shouldn't have to put your DC or unborn at risk because of this habits. If he was smoking drugs he wouldn't expect you to be there and tobacco is as bad. Just keep pressure on OH to get him to stop.

Anyway getting away from work now so going to run while I have a the chance.

Have a nice evening everyone!

Thanks for the comments. Yeah, I also wanted to say, I smoked on and off to 4 years so I also know what it's like.

Maybe he'll get the message at some point. I remain hopeful. As it is we're just going to have to cut down on visits. Hard to stop all together as ds1 asks to go there