January 2012-Close encounters of the third trimester kind.... Too much nesting not enough resting!

[fishandlilacs]

Here we go ladies. A shiney new thread.

oh mum2be I'm so sorry your husband is being a twat. I don't have any answers I'm afraid, but can offer some virtual hugs and a or maybe even a small cheeky . Try and look after yourself x

hugs mum2be from here as well. Sometimes you just can't understand men!!! Maybe he's just stressing about how much there is to do before baby arrives and instead of just helping to get things done he's bottling it all up.
Know how you feel about the ever increasing piles of laundry though. I have a fab MIL who almost insists on doing most of our washing and ironing but has inconveniently been on holiday the last 2 weeks so I've had to do it myself (or not judging by the piles).

I know how everyone feels about the last couple of months whooshing past. 29 weeks today - arghhh where has all the time gone. Have got our first NCT class tonight as well - if I can find it [hhmm]

Oh m2b so sorry to hear your having such a crap time of it. (((Hugs))) I'm also 30wks but only work 3hours a day and I'm struggling. I take my hat off to you holding down a ft job as well.
When my pgp first flared up dp said he would do more about the house. He didn't. But he started getting annoyed at not having clean dishes and the bin overfull that after a few days he done the work.
It sounds like your oh has his head in the sand. A good long chat between you both definitely needs to be had. I'm a big fan of lists, dp tries to ignore them sometimes so I make it bigger.

Dd is better but still feeling sorry for herself. Temp is down and no sickness today. Breakfast has been had! Thanks ladies x

Had my flu jag this morning. No side effects at all, can't even find the needle mark on my arm.

Hope everyone is well and our bumps are behaving. Hint hint baby get out my ribs--

mum2beMy dh id really funny in pregnancy to. This is no.5 and you would think he would have realised that I am not as energetic as when I am not pregnant. He works long hours and when he comes home he doesn't want to do stuff. In fact nobody wants to help. I try to muster the other kids in to helping to some degree. The washing issue the same couldn't find the wash basket even when it is next to his side of the bed. The house desends more into chaos every one moans even though they were the ones who created the mess. Does this sound like any of your dc's or dh's. I realise now that I can do only the bare minimum with out feeling ill. Most days try to get the washing done and dried ( trying to use the new tumble dryer when there is no other choice).
mum2be- you are trying your best. This is your first baby and is it his first. Pregnancy is not easy even when you have done it this many times as I have in fact this time just want to sit and take it easy. I don't work so you are a star. Your dh has no clue and it sounds he really just wants to stick his head in the sand till it is over. My dh can be like that to. I just try to get on with getting things ready with your parents help. If you have to wash when you have to do. I did a washing strike to when my dh refused to put the dirtys in the box. I also couldn't get stuff dry as we had no tumble dryer and 2 rather knakered airers and 6 people to clean up after. After 3 weeks of nothing much getting washed and dried he relented and got the tumble dryer. It is a big sea change for both of you maybe it is only now he realises that the baby is going to make it's appearance and he is feeling panicked by the thought. I wouldn't go on and on at him but quietly saying I can't do this all on my own and leave it at that. I am sure that once he see's the baby it will be easier and he will see that you love him just as much. Encourage him to help make him feel important as it is easy to forget that he is going through this transition to becoming a parent. Hope that makes sense.

What a stressy horrid time your having mum2be :(

Is it possible he's having some emotional issues himself and is just unable to express it?

My OH can sometimes be a bit funny about the bump and engaging with the baby. We've had a few chats about it and it's partly because he's scared of getting too emotionally attached in case it all goes wrong and also that he is a bit worried that it will change our relationship and he will be excluded (which is how he felt in his previous marriage). He's only now beginning to open up and get involved and it's very tentative steps.

I'd echo whoever said that you need to find a non-accusatory way to discuss it - because at the very least he needs to understand how difficult you are finding it.

ok so now I'm having a stress. NCT class is due to be tonight but I can't find any info about it on NCT site. I've not had a confirmation email or anything but I paid back in Aug. Does anyone know if you get anything in advance to confirm it's still on or just turn up and hope that the school is open?

All the other courses are quite a way from where we live so this one is ideal - if it's still on - arghhhh

Is there an nct number you can call or maybe call the school where its being held ?

Can't help with the NCT question I'm afraid trubble but on the plus side the water board have found the stop cock - funnily enough it's exactly where I told them I thought it was (grr) and it has been switched off :o

Now to get the plumber to cut the pipe off before the flooring people turn up at 8 tomorrow.....

mum2be - how miserable, and he really is being a bit of a pillock. Men really are very odd - my DH swings between being lovely and then having an all out sulk because I haven't helped with the grouting, because clearly being pregnant and with a sinus infection is the best time to be grouting. Gah. Anyway, I really hope he comes round - I don't know what your relationship's like normally, but if you think going away for a few days will help, then do it, otherwise try talking to him/writing to him. Hope you find a way, whatever it is.

trubble I'm sure we had a letter through just confirming receipt of payment and with details of the class. It's odd you haven't heard anything. Try calling them - the central number should at least be able to point you in the right direction.

parsley - it's nice to know the little lady was right about the big boy's work! Ha!

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time mum2be it really is a shame that men can't 'do' pregnancy perhaps then they would appreciate just how hard it actually is

I don't know anything about NCT classes, I haven't even heard about my local NHS ones yet

Right how do I get this baby out of my rib cage??? Sitting down really hurts. I drove for about 45 mins today and was in sooo much discomfort I could have cried.

On a happier note my DreamGenii turned up this morning I've got the pillowcase in the washing machine so I can hopefully dry it in the airing cupboard ready for tonight.

Giraffe - try prodding really really hard - that always makes mine shift about. Alternatively try hot or cold packs strategically positioned?

I feel awful for complaining about the pregnancy, because I feel like it was something I chose to do, something voluntary and unnecessary, something lots of women seem to breeze through... I just feel like I have no right to be anything other than 'glowing and delighted' even when I'm so blatantly not.

Thank God, really, for this thread where I can talk about how I'm really feeling, even if I do choose to gloss over it here sometimes, it's not because I have to but because I want to.

Hmmm - have sent email, left voicemail and school closed due to half term - guess we'll just have to wait til 8 tonight and see if anyone else turns up. I've just got this nagging feeling that it's been cancelled and we just haven't been told.
Typical - now it's getting too late to schedule anything else and I could really do with meeting other mums to be in teh area :(

Thanks Fryn

OH is slightly miffed - he's been dealing with them for the last 3 days and got nowhere. He couldn't call today so I took over and got it sorted out, ha ha.

Tbh it was more a case of good luck and timing and I think he laid all the ground work but I fully intend to take the credit [hgrin]

giraffe I hear that swimming can sometimes make the little ones move around and dislodge a bit... could you try it?

On a distinctively lighter and 'me me me' tone, does anyone else find themselves even more impatient with hapless colleagues these days? I've just had to run up here and post my rant instead of actually confronting said colleague, as I don't think it would go down well (in an office of 7 people it's best if we all pretend we get on). I have a junior colleague who is like a workplace vampire - she never makes the tiniest effort to take on anything that's not strictly in her job description, and doesn't step up to take on things that just have to happen for the office to work properly. I've spent hours of my life over the past few years listening to her fret and cry (yes cry!) about her job and how people don't respect her, and I've sat with her so many times to explain our systems and how our IT things work (often the same thing over and over again - and she's 3 years younger than me so it's not an age thing about technology) and WASTED HOURS OF WORK, and she never lifts a finger to give anything back to the office, or to me.

This week we are short of an intern because she has failed to find one in time, so the assistants in the office are supposed to do the mail. She ignored my 6 items of post and did just the mail for her department, and then didn't tell me about it (obviously since I would just ask politely if she wouldn't mind doing it, as I'm not supposed to have to as I'm a manager). I've only just noticed in time to catch the postman. And the irony is that before we started having interns the mail was actually her responsibility! I've lost count of the number of times I've put the odd bit of mail through for a different department over the years, and it just makes me want to ROAR with frustration. I know this is a tiny tiny thing but as you may have guessed, it's only the tip of the iceberg with her. And now I've had to waste even more time ranting about it on here so I've even more work to catch up on... can I blame that on her too? [hgrin]

and whoops, missed the NCT posts, sorry trubble. Probably best if I don't start ranting about NCT either - I'm actually booked on to my fourth different set of classes due to NCT faffing and leaving it late to cancel the course (though not as late as the actual day it is supposed to start!) Hope it works out for you though; my current NCT leader doesn't seem to do email so she has always phoned me. I guess the key is if they took your money...

Oh dear ghost not one of "those". I've worked with a few in my time... people like that take up a lot of emotional energy - I've become a bit harder in my old age and either a) just ignore them when they start the whole "I'm so hard done by" routine or b) tell them how life works (glass of wine helps for that one). Disappointingly b) doesn't seem to work as well as it should as they actually don't get it.

Oh sorry ghost about the crap day at work.
My work rant today is that boss leaves tonight for Naples. She only told me that she needs me Thursday morning. The work calander says she me thurs and Fri. So after a shitty week with hardly any sleep I now need to do 2 7am starts!

Parsley you're so right; I'm much more hard nosed with her now but still resent every time she fails to step up. The good thing for me is that I now know her boss doesn't have any respect for her either, nor does our director, so I'm not alone! We won't be sad when she goes but, er, not sure anyone else will take her off out hands

shonno from an outsider's perspective I would just not turn up on Friday and say you were told only Thursday by your boss... But of course you wouldn't do that because you're a nice person (I wouldn't either but I wish I could - actually I wish DH could as he gets dicked on with this kind of thing all the time). Don't envy the 7am starts - I can barely rock up for my 9am start with my 8 min walking commute (had to drive as I was running so late this morning)

Phew - panic over - class is going ahead :)
Now time to de stress and grab something to eat

M2B you need a medal for the sheer amount of work hours you're putting in, let alone an H with an attitude like that.
Barring any MH issues you know about, I think I would lay out clearly and in no uncertain terms exactly what it is you expect, and how his behaviour is impacting on you and then bugger off to your parents' for a few days' rest, telling him why.
TBH I think the actions are one thing (my DH is messy and leaves DIY for months too), but the attitude is entirely another. A good rant might well make him see how he is affecting you - and it might also get rid of some of your pent-up emotion and tension...
Big hugs(( ))

Oh ghost I would love to just not turn up! As it happens I now won't be doing either morning as dd has started vomiting again. Taking her to gp in the morning as she's now been ill since Monday night. Poor wee lamb.

Glad your getting your class afterall trubble

giraffe I feel the same about baby in the ribs. I feel like I have only 1 lung just now. Hoping the physio can remove a rib or 2 for me tommorrow.
Going in for a bath in the hope to shoogle the Lo about abit

evening all,

hope everyone is ok-DH is out tonight and i'm a bit bored, but i'm not going to be at the pic for much longer as the ribs are giving me jip. I'm loving half term with dd, it's so nice to have some time together.

shonno Sorry to hear of your LO continued illness, it's gone on a long time for a tummy thing, possible food poisoning maybe? Tummy viruses tend to only last 24 hours don't they. Poor mite x

Ah! fish I totally missed my x-post before. Glad to hear Jago's ok though

cakes sorry to depress you. Just wanted to not be the only freak one suffering...

*mum2be" Sorry your DH is being a catastrophic twat. Like the others have said, I'd sit him down and talk to him, but fuck it, don't be too nice. The guy's being an ass-hat and needs to be told that it's harming you. Accuse him of being an ass-hat, because he IS being an ass-hat. Sod it, leave him to it for a few days to, just to make the point and then sit him down and talk to him...and please do vent on us. The physical stress alone isn't good for baby, so if we can lighten the load by being here, let us be! As for work, screw them too. If you need it, take some time. (ok, ok, I know I'm not the best at this, but, I am getting better!)

shonno glad DD is getting better, even she is stlil at the pathetic stage.

ghost I had one throw all his toys out his pram yesterday as he wansn't paid for 4h work last month...wouldn't mind, but he's the laziest bastard there is...and then proceeded to be rude to 4 other staff and do nothing all day...jerk!

Gah! Dinners ready...ttyl.

babies in ribs - I just got my birthing ball today and it's really making the baby shuffle around a lot - maybe that would help? Just don't make the mistake i did and get a cheap crappy one from Argos - get a proper birthing ball from Birth-ease, and get the biggest one you think you might need. I discovered the 65cm is too small for me only because that's what the Argos one was - it's not that I'm super tall, but I've got quite long legs so I needed the 75cm one. Anyway, might help stuck babies. Or swimming, like someone else said.

trubble - glad you got your class! how did it go?

men in general are weird about babies - sounds like some love it and some are frightened stiff. and some change half way through. I guess you just have to wait til it comes out and hope they become more attached then. i wish men would talk more to their friends about things like that - it does them no good to be stewing over it and just getting all grumpy and annoying when they could let it all out and be a lot more pleasant to be around.