January 2012-Close encounters of the third trimester kind.... Too much nesting not enough resting!

[fishandlilacs]

Here we go ladies. A shiney new thread.

Heheehe, me too. Having massive guilt attack (possibly transferred, see pregnancy chat) as I've let the boys out whilst it's still dark. They were dashing about like morons and kicking litter everywhere in the excitment of me being awake. Just don't need it right now, either the stress of them being mental indoors or them being out, but, I dunno. Tired, tired, tired.

Sorry for the late reply fish I assume you got us all after we'd gone to bed

How are things this morning?

Dd hasn't been sick all night! Apart from waking up at 3am claiming she was starving she has also slept all night. Today could be a better day Fx

That's quite worrying about the anti freeze oiesha

Morning everyone!
Flu JAG today yippee

Fx for a better dayshonno

Oeisha - signed and shared on FB.

Despite 2 nights' decent sleep now (a record of late) I am feeling most tired and tempted to return to bed except I have a cat surgically attached to my lap. Oh well.

Just been reading a thread about a MNer whose waters broke at 22 weeks and she's just had her little girl at 25+2 - makes me grateful to be 28+6, despite the pain and dizziness.

Morning. Quick question; does anyone feel like they've lost a few months somewhere.

I seem to have gone from early pregnancy to almost there (CheesyMonster will be full term in less than 8 weeks ) and completely missed out the bit in the middle!

skeletonfish how are you this morning? Has the little one wriggled around yet?? Do hope so!!!

giraffe agreed! the first trimester just went so slowly...and now...? Can't believe 28 weeks just around the corner!

Hope everyone is having a lovely morning and not looking forward to walking in the rain soon! My umbrella is too small!!! Ha! xxx

giraffe - YES! Me too!

oeisha - eek!

shonno - hurrah and fx for a good day for your dd, hope the flu jab doesn't affect you - I felt a bit woozy for a few days after mine, but no sore arm this time

fish - this happens to me a lot, especially when I'm busy; I'm a bad mummy and don't necessarily notice all the flailing. It's most likely that the little one has moved, or is tired out from having such an active evening before. However, I'd always say trust your instincts and if you're worried enough to post on here it's probably worth calling your MW. How are things this morning? I have to say that pamplemousse has been extremely active over the last couple of weeks and it's lovely, if a bit surprising at times. But then I have an anterior placenta so I didn't feel much for ages and ages. Hope all's ok.

zoe - I wouldn't normally speak up about this but it's incredibly irresponsible for a 'psychic' to speak to you about the birth of your child. Please don't buy into her comments; psychics are by and large very skilled readers of people but telling you something like that is completely irresponsible and potentially harmful. How dare she say anything that might affect your decisions about the birth? You and your MW/doctors will need to react based on the medical evidence about the best birth plan.

fish let us know how the movements are today. I know it's hard to think 'when should I start to worry and call the MW'. I left it for a couple of days tbh, as I was still feeling movements here and there, the pattern was just completely different to normal. Then on the day I decide to call the MW, the little buggar starts jumping around like he used to - typical. They're doing it to wind us up, I'm telling you. Like to keep us on our toes, as if we haven't enough to deal with!

Halfway through the week, only 7 weeks left til my Mat Leave starts, woohoo!

fish - that was the problem, apparently ibuprofen are an absolute no no in the final 3 months. Good to know the dr knows her stuff. Ahem. The co-codamol are working a treat though - any chance you could get some of those prescribed?

green - good news about your tests.

brown - I've never been brave enough to make a Christmas cake, but you may have inspired me (NB only may have...)

parsley - hope your water woes are sorted out today. This just reminds me why we live in a tip with no work ever being done!

oiesha I wish my boobs were big enough to rest on anything. Suffice to say I haven't been blessed in that department! Good luck with the old girls though...

shonno - your poor DD. It's just horrible not being able to do anything for them. Hope she's better soon.

Just had a message from a friend who gave birth last week, but it was so quick that her DH had to deliver the baby with the help of the lady at the ambulance control centre on the phone! It's her second, but still! Here's hoping for a marginally longer labour (at least long enough that the MW can get there!)

Hope you're all ok, ladies!

Fryn - Xmas cakes are not that scary I promise :-) I've always made my own, but am not this year as my mum has asked me to take half theirs off their hands (both the parents are trying to lose weight, my mum knowingly, my dad unknowingly! lol) so I'm happily resigning an extra Xmas job!

Oeisha - I guess my boobs are resting on my bump when I slump forwards. I hadn;t been thinking about it but now I am depressed about it. Bah.

My client just offered me a lift to our knitting group next week. The professional part of me thought I ought to refuse, but the rest of me jumped at the offer - I hope she honestly meant it!

ghost - I completely second what you say about the irresponsibility of psychics making that kind of prediction, but I suspect MZ doesn't actually read what we say anyway.

brown and cakes I might have a go at Christmas pudding this year! Although the amount of ingredients on that list is slightly freaking me out

I will try and keep in mind that it is not scary, it is not scary, I can do it....cut to me making a banana bread instead!

Christmas puddings are brilliant - totally easy. Just shove everything in a bowl and stir!
The tricky bit is steaming the bugger :)

ooooh xmas cake making. my mum makes a brilliant juicy alcoholic one with really thick marzipan.... mmmmmmm craving alert.....

fish how's the baby this morning? you ok? I had a day like that recently and though I'd leave it 24hrs before calling anyone. and then in the evening he kicked around like a bastard so i stopped worrying. have you tried the icy cold water trick? that usually does it for mine.

But now i have to do this kick counter for my hospital it's making me a bit more aware of him - I have to count to ten kicks (starting from 9am) and mark off a chart what time it is when i get to ten. then they can see a pattern emerging. it's called a Cardiff Count-to-ten i think if anyone wants to do it out of interest. I'm not sure if it's good or bad, but the midwife was super hot on it the other day so I'm doing it rather than be told off next antenatal!

shon hope your daughter is still on the mend

zoe - please don't listen to psychics!!!

in other news, I went to a kiddy concert with my niece yesterday, and for no reason at all started crying my eyes out when they started playing all the lovely music. bloody hormones!!!! people must have thought I was a total maniac!

hope you all have a lovely day - I'm depping for my OH today as I don't have any work on , playing piano for an old ladies choir while he's off doing a half term workshop with kids - just got to try and remember how to play the piano....

Is it horribly brown-nosey of me? I just rang the physio dept to thank them for fitting me in so promptly last week and for what they did because I have just had two pain free nights' sleep and it has made such a difference and I thought they probably hardly ever get thanked for actually doing something, just get the complaints.

The receptionist seemed pleased, anyway and it made me happy to thank them, so sod it - I don't care if it is sucking up - she gave me a same-day appointment and that means that I am almost pain free today (I don't count some discomfort as pain, it's not the same thing).

bah - I just ate 2 fairy cakes and am regretting the second. Something nutritious next time I think!

Hiya all,

I had a very disturbed night last night with indigestion but i'm happy to report that I have had a good few movements from Jago today. He's definately moved-I now think he's lying horizontally and the other way round to what he was-big kicks are now on the left to the middle and little thumps are now on the left. It was opposite way round before and the kicks were high up and hands were down. Phew sigh of relief.

I'm sorry I have not read through posts todayonly glanced to see that your DD is getting better at last shonno hope you don't all get it.

Ooh gosh, is it Christmas-cake-making-time already?? I usually get round to it about mid-Dec . I make gingerbread too, but have never had the courage to try a Christmas pud... I can't think about anything Christmassy until I've got past DD1's birthday (next w/d).

Fish, hope all is well with LO. I have the odd day like that too but as long as I keep feeling something, and and the next day is back to normal, I try not to worry.

pleased to see Jago is bouncing around there fish :) They're devils for scaring us, aren't they?

haha x-posted fish!

Feeling very, very low today - in fact, this week. I've done nothing but cry this morning. I'm not getting support from 'D'H! All he is doing is shouting and moaning at me for not doing 'enough' housework or for doing things 'wrong'. I'm 30 weeks now and I'm feeling tired and very achy, especially in my legs and pelvic region. I'm behind with my washing and my mum has done a lot this week to get me back on top of things whilst it's half term. 'D'H has been doing roof works on our sitting room with my dad's help.

'D'H seems to forget that most of the washing is HIS and I'm fed up with the following: boxers and socks dumped on bathroom floor rather than going in linen basket. Work clothes dumped in various passageways instead of going in 'works' linen basket downstairs. Tools and paperwork left out on the table and benches and sometimes in corridors. DIY jobs not finished until months, sometimes years later. I waited SEVEN months for him to finish the windowsills in the sitting room and three years after the entrance hall had new skirting boards on, he's still not painted them. Dishes left in the sitting room and on the kitchen table rather than turning round to put in the dishwasher.

He doesn't like me doing washing during the day because we're on economy 7 at night and the washer has a timer on it. If I did that, I'd be washing EVERY day. I have five loads of washing still to do, so in his little world, five days worth of work. So in five days, I'll probably have yet MORE loads. So today, whilst it's half term and he's back at work, I'm putting on some washing! I have that to do plus; going into work to get some planning (I was going in on Thurs and Fri but got a text saying office staff taking holiday so I can't), shopping, weeding, more hoovering, childminders to contact, NHS prescription to cancel as have maternity one, driving licence to renew. Stuff that can be done over next three days but if it isn't all done today, he WILL moan! Stupid thing is, i asked him two nights ago to open the safe to get out my paper copy of my licence so I can send it off with our marriage certificate as it can't be done on line or at post office with a name change. He said "No" yet HE moans when these sort of things aren't done! Can't do it today as I have no idea how to open the safe. I will ask him tonight and if he refuses then I will not ask him anymore and then he will REALLY moan when I can't drive past 6th December!!!

I think he's even got his head buried in the sand regarding the baby. He NEVER talks about him/her, refuses to feel bump, has not engaged in baby conversations or shown an interest in baby purchases (except the pram back in May),not read the HAYNES guided to baby and toddlers that friends bought for his birthday (a funny, yet realistic read on fatherhood), 'watches' for cots on ebay but apart from one when I forced it, never bids. When my parents offered to buy it on Monday, he went quiet and moaned that 'cots were coming up on ebay' to which I replied 'That's no good if you won't bid on them!!! So off me and mum went to buy cotbed (Henley from babies r us) and new mattress. he REFUSED to get it out of the car, so my dad did it. REFUSED to move the box into the nursery using the excuse 'it will clutter the place up' and would rather it stayed propped up against the wall in the dining room. REFUSED to put the cotbed together, REFUSED me and mum doing it! So this morning whilst he was at work, parents moved it to the nursery and I will unpack it and see if it motivates him. The only think HE is bothered about is the stupid roof. I know it needs doing but that's all he cares about - DIY (but obviously not the finishing off jobs!). He ordered oil for the heating on Monday (an extra tank full - we had 1200 litres already) but MOANED when we put the heating on, on Sunday when his 73 YEAR OLD AND 82 YEAR OLD parents were round! They were sitting in their coats!!!! And they have no heating or hot water until their boiler was fixed the following day!

At this moment in time, I really hate 'D'H. He's been quite selfish, arrogant and unkind at the moment. I don't doubt the hard work he does regarding DIY, but I wish he paid more attention to the EMOTIONAL needs of his family first sometimes! I am sooo tired and exhausted. He thinks I'm lazy. I leave the house Monday to Friday at 7am, not back until 6pm, sometimes have to prepare, cook and tidy up after meals, sort washing, so ironing, hoover, dust and clean a 5-bedroom house, then do school work on evenings and weekends all whilst operating on 4-5 hours of sleep a night! I'm just knackered! I told him last night that I'm doing the bare minimum at work (will probably result in me being branded a 'bad' teacher by members of the public if they knew) and leaving at 4pm, instead of 5pm just so I can try and relax a bit for my last 5 weeks at work. His reply was 'Good. You can do lots of housework!'. I really, really hate my life at the moment. Contemplating leaving for a few days. That may make him realise what a pig he's being.

mum2be sounds like you deserve a hug - so here you go. and a real too. My DH can be a bit like that especially with regarding to actually finishing DIY, and it drives me nuts, especially when I'm feeling vulnerable or down, so I can only imagine what it feels like for you. Not sure I can offer helpful suggestions other than something like write down a list of the household jobs you do and the ones he does and then make him swap for a week, or simply stop doing them. It's completely unreasonable in this day and age for two working partners not to share the household duties and I would flip if my DH then started complaining about the timings and methods which I use to get things done!

Your husband sounds thoroughly unreasonable - and in fact (from a random outsider's perspective) he sounds a bit down. It's not really ok for him to be so disengaged this late into the pregnancy.

One more thought - would it move him at all if you wrote him a letter explaining how this all makes you feel? Best to avoid being accusatory, but maybe it could point out a few of the things that you find most difficult, especially at the moment. Some friends of mine have a giant blackboard in the kitchen with a list of the week's jobs (and longer term ones) and I think they include things like shopping and washing - a very good way of pointing out exactly what needs to be done to make a household work.

Anyway I'm sure you just needed to vent so sorry if you didn't really want a list of possible solutions (I'm a fixer by nature...) but you have sympathy from me (and I'm sure all of us) and I'm sorry you're having a rough time...

Mum2be - don't want to leap in with 'typical MN' style - but why are you expected to do all the household jobs when you're also working fulltime? It's hardly fair. I wish I could do something, but I can only offer support and, if you feel it's the right thing to do, maybe it would be best to go stay with your Ps for a few days so that at least you can get some rest - everything is easier to cope with when you're rested.

and feel free to vent any time you want to.

mum2b I'm also not going to respond in the typical MN way and twll you he's being a twunt because you know that already. This is very hard to bear-I too teach so I know how bloody hard it is just to keep the paperwork up to date. I would write him a snagging list of all the undone DIY jobs, and all the jobs he needs to do on a regular basis like picking up after himself. Do it in a non accusatory way as in "were not coping as we are please can we get together and discuss this in a family meeting?" andf hit him with the list of all the things you do in a day, especially those which involve picking up after him.

I think all DHs can be a bit like that at times, but it can really get you down can't it?
I would have a clear list of what needs to be done - i.e. work on the house/roof etc, but also things that need to be done by the time the baby comes i.e. cot assembly. And prioritise them together. He needs to know what takes priority at a time like this.

Also, if you think it'd help to take a few days out at your Ps then do it, you're exhuasted and its not surprising. Have the talk before you go though, so he has time to think it over. You might come back to a clean house, jobs done and cot assembled and ready to go! or at the very least, hopefully it'll make him see how much you do.

hugs mum2be sounds like you having a really horrible time.