Nov 2011 - Feathering our nests and buying baby vests

[PamSco]

Taking liberties again as there are only 5 posts to go on old thread. Hope everyone is well this morning!

stace what kind of mattress do you need (moses basket, cot, cotbed)? We have the Silentnight Little Cub mattress which is about £90 for DS's toddler bed and we just got the same one for the new baby's cotbed as its a really comfy one.

hello everyone.
Been a tough, tough week. I have been lurking but not found myself able to post. I am so touched by how concerned you have all been and have been moved to tears at your kind gestures. Sylvie-Rose was our little princess. Never thought I would say that as I used to hate it when mums of girls used that term but she really did capture our hearts and her brothers adored her.
We are still not sure exactly what happened. It seems SIDS is probably what we will be told but we are not sure. She died shortly after I brought her into our bed for a breastfeed. She did suckle for a while but within a few minutes she had died. I tried CPR, dh called an ambulance. The paramedics tried to get her heart started but couldn't do it. They managed to start her heart in A+E but by then it was too late. Her heart had been stopped for 40 minutes so there was no saving her little brain. They turned off all the machines and she died in my arms. But to me, she died in our bedroom, that was where she left us.

We buried her on Friday. Snoozle is right, funerals both sides of the border tend to happen very quickly here. The funeral mass was lovely and dh read a lovely reading. I was very proud of him and I know I couldn't have done it.

Our neighbours have been fantastic and one neighbour cooked a dinner for us, such a lovely gesture.

We are going to make a little area in our bedroom with shelves so we can put photos of her and have a few of her things there, sort of a shrine, I suppose. Also, we are going to plant a Rose garden in our back garden in her honour, possibly with a little seat where I can sit on a fine day.

Ds1 and ds2 are very upset, ds3 was very upset too but seems to be able to move on and sometimes give the impression that he thinks we should all be over it by now. Ds4 doesn't really understand and only yesterday wanted to know why she wasn't in her cot

I miss her every minute of every day.

We do have to pick ourselves up and carry on, after all, we have the boys to think of but God, it's hard.

TwoJacks thanks so much for keeping in touch and for being the link between me and the thread.

Caz thinking of you and hoping it won't be long till we have news of the lovely Xander!

H007 so relieved that your little lady is OK. My boys didn't move much at the end of my pregnancies. They just don't have the space. It doesn't mean she won't run rings around you in the future!

chip so great to hear from you, just so sorry it's in the worse circumstances... Since hearing the awful news I have not been able to stop thinking about your family, and cannot even start to imagine what you are going through! You continue to be in my thoughts, you're so brave xxxx

Chip it's amazing that you have been able to post. Every day I think of you and your family and sweet Sylvie-Rose. I hope you feel your beautiful and inspiring princess with you all every day. You are all so brave and so strong. xxxx

H007 glad that baby and you are ok

Chip I too have not been able to stop thinking of you and your family
I am really glad that you have supportive neighbours, friends and family in RL.
I am so so sorry that you have had to go through losing your gorgeous princess. I know she will be watching out for you all.
You are incredibly brave and strong and I keep thinking of you and your family. xxx

update from Caz
Hello lovely ladies. Xander is still an inside baby...

Started having lots of pain last night that felt very real to me but turns out it was 'only' the propess hormone thing kicking in. Despite me puffing through what really felt like regular strong contractions. After about 5 hours it eased off and now I have just dull background period pain... Hope when they examine me in a while the pain at least was moving things down there in the right direction and the next part of process can begin and work quickly! wishful thinking.

This boy appears to be in no rush :-( but at least he is happy and coping very well!

Really starting to pray this won't drag out for 5 days as it did with Belle. Not quite sure exactly how long I will keep my rational head on for!

Hope my next update is an outside baby....

chip have also been thinking of you and your family. The Rose garden is a lovely idea and so is the shelf of photos. Your little girl will always be with you no matter what.

caz good luck! Thinking of you.

blue thanks for updating us.

chip I have no words that will make any difference, wish I did. At least, if there was no other possible outcome, you know she died in her mummy's arms, enveloped in your love. I think finding her in her cot may have left you with questions you would never know the answer to.

Take care of you and your brave boys.

Caz hope things gets moving for you. try to ignore early contractions and keep busy, if you can in a hospital.

Hello to everyone else.

(ali I'll be sending my donation tonight - sorry for the delay)

chip thanks for coming on again, you are really amazing. so sorry that you are going through this, its just...heartbreaking. glad you have your family and neighbours rallying around. Sylvia-Rose was here such a short time but managed to touch and inspire a lot of people, many that she didn't even meet. Sorry if that is clumsily put...

Chip there are no words to express how much I feel for you. I cannot imagine what you have been through and continue to go through.

What a lovely idea your rose garden sounds and it will be something for you to all remember Sylvie-Rose by and to celebrate her short life.

Caz hope things soon get going - will be checking on here to see your news.

All the best to everyone else on here

chip ... Lost for words. DP and I both had a silent moment after I read your post out loud to him - I can't start to begin to even fathom how you are feeling. Keep strong - you are all very, very brave and beautiful people.

My contractionish pangs are getting stronger, and I've had what I think is the show this morning - Oh I hope this is it!

Chip your strength is outstanding.

Cali fingers crossed, exciting times........x

Had a pregnancy massage this morning which was lovely. The baby still thinks it's on holiday lying on a sun lounger though. Nothing is moving it at all. I'm going to see the midwife next Wednesday at 34+4 and see what happens from there.

Oooo cali!! Fingers crossed!! Got a shiver of excitement for you!!

Mw appt today. Baby right way round. Measuring fine and sounding good. Still don't feel inspired by her at all. Voodoo just labour as long as u can at home then go to hospital and the consultant led unit..... Grrr. They've changed the guidelines seem to have changed whilst being pg so no chance of a homebirth etc..... Bleah

Chip, good to hear from you, I just wanted to let you know that all us girls were thinking about you and your family.

Cali, lets hope that there is some exciting news from you and Caz soon, fingers crossed :o

Voodoo, thats pants news, what are you going to do?

I went out for the day, totally knackered although have bought the last things for my hospital bag, including nursing bra's, very very strange things they are too, for a first timer anyway....

Going to go to the consultant appt on Friday I have booked and then if it's not my consultant I'm going to leave! Then am going to cry and rant at OH for a while most likely. Then next week I'll make a decision! Have also got a tour of the hospital tomorrow night so I may change my mind but seeing as they've already told me no chance of a waterbirth I'm not holding out any hope! What's getting me is the attitude I got from the registrar at the last appt that I should have dieted at the start of my pg!! I am still in and fastening pre pregnancy clothes and last time I was weighed I was the same weight as I was when I had my booking in appt!! Frustrating isn't the word! I wanted at least to have the option of using a pool for pain relief as as good as g&a is I wanted to at least try it with minimal drugs!

Voodoo that's tough for you, I think one of the worst things is when you get conflicting advice from different doctors etc. Nearly every appt I have had has been with a different Dr, and they all have a different opinion, it leaves you not knowing if you are coming or going.

Chip , what can I say? your post was so moving, and I can only echo what MrsArch said that at least she was in her mum's arms, which is where every baby wants to be.

Ladies, can I have a kick up the bum please? Just a general one will do. I discovered yesterday that I have failed an exam that I did a couple of months ago. It knocked me for six, as to be honest I have always been quite an academic sort, and have never failed an exam before, and this one wasn't even meant to be particularly difficult. Anyway I ended up repeatedly bursting into tears all yesterday afternoon and evening. Then I was so upset about it that I couldn't sleep. I mean, what is wrong with me? Its a bloody exam. Its a pain in the arse, but I can take it again - it kind of fades into insignificance when I think about what some people on here are going through. Then I went to my parents house whilst DD was at school, and my lazy sister was there, letting my elderly parents run and attend her hand and foot, and she had her daughter there who should have been at school but had a sore throat (which miraculously seemed to be cured, once she was sure she wouldn't have to go to school) and I just wanted to strangle the pair of them. Then, I discovered that the appt I had for the flu jab tomorrow morning was actually this morning, not tomorrow, and by the time I realised it, the surgery had closed. I think it must be hormonal or something, but these combination of events have given me a bit of a meltdown, I have just felt like crying all day. Please, please, give me a kick up the arse and tell me to pull myself together - I'm being such a tool about it all that I am even annoying myself......

snooze I can offer a slap on the wrist. Mainly because worried kicking you might hurt me more than you .

I was like this last week. DD discovered tantrums so was crying, shouting and frustrated most of the day. Worst day was thurs when washing machine broke down. Was in tears because I couldn't open the damn fuse box, tv and Internet were not working and then couldn't get washing out of machine.

Hormones. Bloody hate them but quite important for baby. Have some and chocolate.

Heres a wet fish slap for you Snoozle > I need one too!

I know exactly what you mean about the hormones, I had an enormous tantrum at my husband the day before yesterday, yelling at him, and making really unnecessary personal comments about his family. His Dad expects him to do his accounts (he's a fisherman) before he sends them off to the accountant to be checked. This saves him money, and DH has done it every year since he went to uni. I have an uneasy relationship with his Dad anyway, since he left his Mum after a particularly nasty affair, and has treated her really badly, despite her having health problems. This has gone far enough to send DBil into complete meltdown while he was at uni, and DH and I ended up picking up the pieces. Anyway, I usually just bite my tongue when it comes to anything involving his Dad, because its an argument I can't win... no matter what he is still DH's dad. I said some really hurtful things, which I can't take back, about how he'd better not turn into his dad, because I think Wiggler deserves better. All over some stupid accounts which he always does, and probably always will. I have gained nothing from it, now I just have him feeling guilty about doing it in the evenings, which he has to do.

Voodoo I hope you manage to talk your consultant round to a compromise situation. I try to believe that they have our best interests at heart, or at least think they do, so it is worth trying to find out exactly why they are saying what they are saying. Congratulations on still being in prepregnancy clothes, mine are a distant memory!

Chip I know there is nothing anyone can say, but you are in my thoughts, and I shed a few tears for you reading about how strong you are being for you boys this morning. I hope time eases the pain.

Cali and Caz All the best for your births, I'm sure things will get going soon enough for both of you, I can't wait to hear about the next November babies!

H007 I'm glad everything looks to be going ok for you and bean.

Is anyone else getting kicks which are really quite painful, right in the bits? Sometimes its on my tailbone, which isn't too bad, but sometimes it feels like a hand with sharp fingernails is trying to dig its way out!

Chip I am astonished by your bravery, poise & strength - your boys and your beautiful princess Sylvie-Rose have an amazing Mummy - much love to you and your family, you are in my thoughts every day.

Snoozle I have decided Wed is a weepy day for me and I'm just going to roll with it so yes you can have a 'come on, pull yourself together' from me or you can have a 'go on, have a big bawl and maybe a rant, it is just hormones and you may feel better if you let it all out'!

Erm... four posts left... and no suggestions for a new thread name...???

Chip so lovely to hear from you, I know it can't be easy, and I just hope it helps in some way to know we've all been thinking of you and your family.

Thanks for general advise on mattress, I've ordered one from kiddicare which was half price down to about £40, which is sprung and foam. Changing bag (Pocapod napier - ouch £75) was supposed to come today, but has not shown up yet :(

Frantically trying to think of new thread name...

something re "one month to go"/"the final push"/"bouncing on yoga balls"/"ready, steady, push" - just please no nipple cheese!!!!

xx

Stupid phone!

Cali that all sounds rather promising & exciting - come on Sprout!

Voodoo hope you get your consultant and some sense - I too am sick of seeing diff drs every time so had a bit of a tantrum at the last one.

My lower back is now hurting constantly so feeling rather sorry for myself

chip you are amazing, I am so sad for your loss of Sylvie Rose, she was a lucky girl to have such a wonderful family if only for a short time. I hope your boys are providing some comfort to you at this time and that you will have somewhere to go to think of Sylvie Rose.