Nov 2011 - Feathering our nests and buying baby vests

[PamSco]

Taking liberties again as there are only 5 posts to go on old thread. Hope everyone is well this morning!

The thing about roses is that if you can get one in a pot then we can organise that in the spring, when things might be a little more bearable, otherwise if it's bare rooted (so no soil round the roots and in the best condition and time for planting success) we could request that they send it out in march so it's not quite so soon for CM to have to deal with that too. I agree with the other varieties and a donation to charity too, lets see how much we manage to collect.

Think the card and messages are a brilliant idea and would be great if we could do something for her over xmas or in the new year.

Caz, hope things go well over the weekend, try to focus on being relaxed and ready for Tuesday, not long to go now and then you will be able to meet your boy :)

Cali, your house guest sounds like a right mare, good riddance to her, is she a relative? I wouldn't be best pleased with behaviour like that even from a close family member, def dont be helping her with moving, that's what taxi's are for!!!

Kelly, hope you feel better soon, shame about the midwife :(

Am feeling better, although had to cut the grass as it's going to rain tomorrow and sunday, so my shoulder is complaining, having a cuppa and a piece of cake and an hour of terrible tv before i start again...

Caz I think I know what you mean about the rawness. I was wondering if I should mention that I am sorry in case I drag all the rawness and numbness back up for you.
I've bee counting down the days with you.

I think they should be able to send the rose in March. I got bare rooted roses previously in May and planted them then and they seemed to do fine in the 2 years I was living in the house, so March should be ok?

I agree with the donations too and I think the card with an insert of the messages sounds great. I think the condolences thread are getting a memory box, so the card could go in there, if chip so pleases.

I am feeling so lucky to be a part of such a supportive and caring group of women.

Whatever option we go for timing wise I think it would be a good idea to organise and agree now as at Xmas we'll all have babies who will be a matter of weeks old and things may be trickier to sort...

...if we agree on a card I'm happy to buy it asap and send it from us all with PM'd messages?

Thank you to those who have volunteered to do some organising. It's not my forte and life's going to get a bit busier for us all soon!

I agree it seems a bit too soon atm. I would guess that Christmas with her boys will keep her busy no matter how she's feeling, as she'll want/need to keep some routine for them, no matter how much pain she is in. I've never lost a child but do remember how much it helped to keep busy/normal when my dad died (he was only 43 and I was 17).

A spring rose bush sounds lovely. I for one will be giving my newborn an extra hug and kiss in Sylvie Rose's memory and say a little prayer for chip.

kelly I am so sorry you are having difficulties with the IM, I truly sympathise. I am not sure why she is mentioning strep b if you have not tested for it before - there is some evidence now that antibiotics are not 100% successful and that unless you are in a risk category (premature birth, starting labour before 36 weeks, prolonged ROM or signs of infection like a temperature) then even if you do test +ve for strep b, antibiotics need only be considered

I had strep b with DD but this time I'm not even testing for it. I'll be using garlic pessaries for 8 days around 37 weeks but my main tool will be to observe my baby closely as most infections start within 12 hours of birth. With 1 2 1 care, that should be very possible at home - perhaps safer than in hospital when you can be left alone.
Have a look at www.homebirth.org.uk/gbs.htm

Caz I'm getting very excited for you for next week :)

My BH contrx are getting more painful too. All I had with dd were tightenings and no pain but this time they feel like mild period pain and caused me to move positions last night.

I definitely think a card now is a good idea, and thank you Folic for offering to organise. Happy to be guided by others on timing of the rose, but in terms of when we think Chip will be ready, but also when these things need to be planted as I'm clueless on that. What about early spring?

Cali I agree with the others, good riddance to your houseguest. It sounds like you have been a saint to me. I can hardly cope with having people over for a few hours, let alone people staying - any extra stress or pressure or looking after people is just tough at the moment. I was also going to ask you about carpal tunnel - I just had swollen fingers to start with, but now think it is definitely turning into carpal tunnel - numbness and really sore wrists, ,hard to grip things. Does it go after the baby?

Also what is general consensus on Strep B? My SIL had a baby 2 weeks ago. They hadn't done the test, and poor little mite caught it. They were separated for 10 days in hospital, but luckily he is fine, although I think it's quite serious. But is having the swab test worth the risk of automatically being on IV antibiotics? Our NCT teacher said not to swab in advance, and that if during labour they think you are having a Strep B flare up (you would have temp/sore throat etc) they will test then. You can be a carrier and not pass it on, it will only be passed if you are having a flare up apparently.

Like others, I feel guilty and self-absorbed posting anything at the moment when poor Chip is having such a horrid time. But I think she want want us to continue chatting and looking after ourselves and our pregnancies. I can't help thinking of her often though and wishing and wishing it hadn't happpened for her. Caz I think especially you need to really look after yourself and focus on Tuesday - so excited for you! x

Hi all,

I think somewhere between Christmas and the spring sounds good for the rose, I think it would be nice to remember Sylvie-Rose during Christmas but don't know how CM will feel, and like others I'm very grateful for those willing to organise. I just can't lift my head above water right now. I have a paypal account so can use that route too.
Like MrsA said, I felt such a strong need to be with Willow yesterday. It was a physical pain being apart from her. She had another eye test - and they really really seem to unsettle her. She had to go back on some supplemental O2 after two days tube free because she kept having slowing heartbeats that weren't recovering on their own and her O2 saturation was swinging from 100 per cent to 60 or so and straight back up again which is a classic sign of her blood leaking through the hole in her heart. I think the stress was just too much for her. After her last one it took its toll with a whole week of her getting sicker then another whole week of her recovering. And unfrotunately she has another one a fortnight from now. However with what has gone on here during the past few days, I'm not seeing the O2 as a step back, I was if anything pushing for it. She looked tired, she looked pale and frankly she deserved a rest. Mentally I needed her to be super safe too. Today's she's been much more settled because of it. And she's only 34 weeks, this isn't a race. More than anything I am just so thankful.
And finally a big huge hug to Caz for Tuesday. Here's to the first of many baby boy cuddles.

Mrs I know what you mean about recognising bereavement - I lost my dad when I was 19 - he was 40 - unexpectedly, and the shock took about a year for me to process beyond a haze of bare minimum functionality. I can't start imagine what losing your child would feel like in comparison...

Caz Getting close now! So excited for you, and so impressed with your strength and perseverance!

Pandia The whole thing was a mistake (I just went to get something out of the cupboard in her room, and it's a freakin' bomb site...) - not doing that again!

The Carpal tunnel starts by feeling a bit like swelling, then pins and needles, then tingling and then pain - also some itchiness in the palms (which is why they tested me for Obstetric Choleostasis). I had it before the pregnancy, so I don't know if it will stay this bad and constant or just go back to being induced by typing/knitting/hand writing.

Having said that, I managed to knit this with it, so it's not entirely debilitating yet...

Strep B - I'm going down the route of IV - I'm too scared to leave it to my own intuition. I've already got to be in for 24 hour obs after birth anyway (fluoxetine).
I am one of those "I tried to do it as natural and wholesome as possible - now hand me the drugs" people.
As I've said before, it took me 6 years to get pregnant, and I'm taking what ever medical precaution that is out there. Also, if baby gets Strep B, it will probably be pumped full of even more meds in the end, than one IV anti-biotic every 4 hours.

Well, I'm happy to donate to someone's paypal account, just let me know the details, folic, I'll pm you with something for the card today or tomorrow.

Oh and i pm'd for chip's address but not heard anything so far, will pass it on when I hear back.

Ok - I'll manage the collection and hold onto it safely and we can draw on it as needed to send chip what we want to as and when it seems appropriate.

Happy to provide a paypal account or bank account for people to transfer into - just PM saying which details you want and I will send them to you.

I'll keep everyone posted with how the collection is going and then we can decide what to buy when

Well I have a CS date for 1st Nov - 3.5 weeks to go. I am having an incredibly weepy day so am no use to anyone - I literally could just sit here sobbing and don't really know why. I cried a fair bit at the hospital - firstly they decided not to do a scan as only 12 days since last one so that threw me, then I found out I've put on 3 stone, then an SHO called me in and I refused to see her as that would have meant a diff oc at every single appt, saw consultant instead and told him I am feeling v anxious and he basically told me I have nothing to worry about but gave the baby a feel and said its going to be another small one and I just felt fobbed off and not listened to at all. I guess its just been an emotional week.

Ali,

chin up, just think only 3.5 weeks till you get to see baby, hopefully you have a better day tomorrow :)

I don't need any money to buy the card but I could do with a clear steer on which card everyone would like to send. Of the ones on the link Caz posted I would choose the tatty teddy lilly. I know that this is because I would avoid angels and I really don't want my personal taste to dictate to you guys so please let me know which card you think is best. I know we may not get consensus but we can just go with majority.

I've also google searched other child sympathy cards and there are these also which can be personalised with Sylvie-Rose's name and birth date.

Footsteps

Also do people want to PM personal messages or are we writing a joint message?

Let me know lovely people. x

Alicat hope you are feeling a bit better. Listen, 3 stone, you'll lose it don't worry.

You will get to meet your lovely baby in 3.5 weeks and they'll have a fab special birthdate 1/11/11 . Sounds like you were great refusing to see another new face, well done. Consultant said nowt to worry about so just you get feet up if you can and breathe!

If we would like to buy something for Christmas Alexandra's Angel gifts have nice ideas that can be personalised.
They also do other things, I've got a personalised candle with Sterre's name and a poem on it.

Alicat feel better soon. Not long till you meet baby!

Thanks for all the support, not much of a crier normally so it always throws me off when it happens.

Folic I like the Footsteps Butterfly card with forget-me-nots to plant - only thing is it would seem a shame to break the card to plant it.

Just popping in to say count me in for the card and donation.
Folic-I think it would be nice to have personal messages, but very aware this would make a massive card.

So sad to read about cm.

Hope you're all well
Xxx
Ziggi

Hi guys,

Sorry if I'm x-posting, just a quick update that any sales from my latest knitting pattern will go to SANDS UK in memory of Sylvie-Rose.

Pattern can be found here.

Sorry - wrong link: Pattern details and pictures are here

I'm so glad someone else is organising, I wouldn't know where to start, but definitely, if there are paypal payments/contributions to be made, count me in .

On a practical level, I would guess that Sylvie-Rose's funeral might already have taken place - here in Northern Ireland a funeral would always be within three days maximum (body brought to the house as soon as possible after the death, and vistors would come to pay their respects, whilst the family would often take it in turns to sit with the deceased from the death until the funeral) and as far as I know it would be the same across Ireland, I can't see the traditions changing at the border, somehow..... I understand that in England etc it doesn't work like that, that a funeral might take place some time after the death? You can correct me if I'm wrong, I obviously have no idea of UK funerals! Anyway, for Chip it is entirely possible that the 'organising' and 'practical' stage has already passed, and the emptiness has already set in.

folic I'm of same opinion re card...prefer tatty Teddy lilly...but happy to go with majority. Think personal messages would be nice but will there be room?
Have found my thoughts turning to chip so much today.

Evening all, I pm'd Chip a couple of days ago and she said that the funeral was today, so sent her a message from all of us this morning just to say that we were all thinking of her etc, hope that was ok guys.

Thanks TwoJacks. Sorry I'm not on here much helping with organising. Everytime I log on I'm in tears within minutes.