Ante-Natal Depression - Support Each Other

[flamesparrow]

I've seen it mentioned on a few other threads, and thought that some kind of support thread might help (sorry if there is already one going somewhere... I tried to search but am useless at it ).

Thought it went well as a "club"

Antenatal depression is much more common than people seem to realise. There are so many things going on, that it is not surprising that we get overwhelmed, and sometimes that can spiral into a real depression.

For all those who are worrying (as far as I have been able to read up) - there is no link between antenatal depression and PND, so if you are very low now, please don't panic and assume it will continue when you have your baby... a whole new set of feelings and hormones kick in then

Soooo... if you are pregnant and feeling low, come here, have a rant, a cry, and hopefully we can help eachother through it.

Anxious moments? All the time - to be honest I think thats part of preparing for the anxious rest of my life as the kids grow up!

I'm ridiculously tired, which I know makes everything worse at the moment. I went to bed before the kids last night, after crying when the 5 yr old didn't like the pjs I'd got out for her. I only slept for an hour though, as the reflux and heartburn kept waking me up, so I don't really feel much better this morning.

(((hugs))) Jas, hope you manage to get some rest today. heart burn, not sure what helps with that can u take gaviscon? not sure if it's ok for PG thou.

FR - yes it's good that we made the front page - don't know about u girls but i never realised u could get antinatal depression - not to mention it is perfectly normal to have it.

pod - that's exactly how i'm feeling now, it's good to hear that usual things improve after the birth, however I am rather concious of PND and really don't want to have that as well.

well xmas is over our last one as a two and I spent xmas evening crying cos A) I was soooo tired, and B) DH had been up on the bloody computer for most of the night when i'd asked him not to, then he didn't get up til 1pm on boxing day. so I wasn't impressed and spent yesterday crying again cos I was sooo tired - been sleeping well thou but I'm just sooo bloody anxious all the time. I think I have a cold coming on as well which isn't helpping matters - why is it u always get ill when u already feel like crap? lol.

how did u girls get on over xmas?

I take loads of gaviscon, and it does usually help, but I think it's also stress related for me - the more upset I get the worse I feel and so on in a neverending cycle.

hi girls, read the thread thought i would add my tuppence

prior to pg i thought it was all blomming body, happy vibes, glossy hair, and gushy mushy excitement BUT i had a physically demanding pg, was ill thru out and quite frankly grew 2 hate being pg. constantly wretched and felt awful and as the weeks passed got more ill.so working a challenging but enjoyable job which became very tiring fortunately i had a supportive boss. wanted 2 scream when people twaddled on bout pg and blooming, blossoming etc felt like an alien abduction had occured 2 my body(grin)looked like i had eaten a spacehopper walked like a flat foot platypus. oo the joys

things physically deteriorated and i end up finishing work early and had numerous hospital appts and admission resulting in emergency C section baby

Sooooooooo what happend next?? well post pg i was still ill and bit tired and low but 2 reassure u girls in similar state it does pass, does get better. i would advise anyone 2 be honest bout ur experience and candidly discuss ur experience with colleagues, mates, ur fella. By doing this i heard bout other gals who also suffered and felt like less of a fraud cos i didny have 2 keep the fake happy 2 be pg face. i think this experience is more prevalent than actually discussed its just that its not much acknowledged. healthcare profs were useless and did not want 2 know as if talking about it was some taboo and tantamount 2 saying i am a bad and inadequate person

by talkin bout it u can acknowledge what u feel and accept that it is a valid response. i also think it is a biopsychosocial response to enormous physical and social changes to ur body, status,relationships and although not all pg women experience antenatal Depression it is a profound experience.

so keep talkin bout it, dont bottle it up it is more common than u think

Thanks SM, it does help to know we're not alone.

I really did do the whole blooming, glossy haired happy pregnancy the first two times, so this is a shock for me. I am enjoying this pregnancy less and less as the weeks go by, which makes me feel quite guilty, as I really wanted it. I am holding on to the fact that it is not likely to lead to PND and in 8 weeks or soI will feel better.

anecdotally dont think antenatal depression necessarily lead 2 PND

remember PND is an unrelated medical condition, characterised by enduring symptoms that are not transient. it is also relativly rare and very treatable

hallo all u pregasauraus peeps!hope ur are all well and that noone is too ill/too down. looked back on ther thread and c there was discussion query if antenatal depression lead 2 PND. my experience is NO LINK, hope that allays people fears. the thing bout a physically difficult pg is that the medics, u and ur dp get (understandably) preoccupied by u+baby physical health that noone asks bout ur mental health. also i got distinct impression noone really wanted 2 know bout AN-Depression cos they all kept focussed physical health, result i would then get guilty for thinking i wish this was over and being sooo tired. plus i had attened really rubbish Antenatal clases - all hug the elephant embrace the happy vibe lentil munching birkenstock wearing tosh and pg is a gr8 experience speech from the teacher (please understand i am trying 2 b humourous and i apologise in advance 2 any lentil eating birkenstock wearing mammies)

i will share my rubbish antenatal class stories at Later date there was some laff out loud moments such as the suggestion we keep the placenta and perhaps bury it in the organic plot...AAAhhhh yes my alter ego good life farming in the city wif my invisible hens, invisible cows and invisible geese.

anyway keep smiling girls keep ur chins up it does get better post pg

I seem to have gotten into a cycle at the moment of being fine, suddenly crashing, crying hysterically until I'm sick, and then it all lifting again. The crash isn't fun (nor the sick crying), but DH is very good at doing the holding me until I'm done - he doesn't ask what is wrong (think he's learnt that nothing is wrong so much), he just holds me, and holds back my hair.

But yes, don't worry about PND - it is amazing how this feeling lifts when you have the baby... heartburn goes, cravings go, and you feel sane again.

I've got my midwife nicely worried about me, now.

I cried when I tried to tell her how run down and tired I feel - I was sort of hoping I was still anaemic, but my iron levels have gone up since I stopped taking suppliment, so I had nothing physical to hang it on...

She has recommended I take evening primrose, and see a subsidised homeopath next week. She has also offered counselling, and asked me to go back next week .

So I guess at least I'm being taken seriously.

At least its not just me worrying midwives by crying on them!! Mine asked how I was feeling in general, and I burst into tears on her . It is good to know that they are taking it seriously though

I hope you don't mind me joining in but I have recently found MN and especially this thread and it has taken a huge weight off my mind. Up until now I thought I was going mad but am totally reassured about things. I'm currently preganant with my first baby, due April, and have not been having a great time. Totally exhausted all the time, very low and feel wiped out as if I'm recovering from 'flu. My dh suffers from very severe bouts of depression and so I find it very hard to articulate how I'm feeling to him as "no-one has it as bad as he does" He can be totally irrational and fly into moods, etc.. (never violent however) which leave me feeling crushed and totally at a loss how to cope. I think the worst of it is that I have not talked to anyone about things as I have been too ashamed to admit that I find it difficult as I don't want to paint him in a bad light, as a lot of the time he is fantastic. Problem is his job, which makes him very unhappy and he has a teenage daughter from a previous relationship who he has had very little contact with as his x-partner is a really nasty person as has given him years of pain over his daughter and sadly she has no interest in forming any kind of relationship with her dad but only contacts him when she wants money Trouble is he won't talk to me about the situation with his daughter, saying that it is nothing to do with me. And before you ask I'm not trying to do any wicked stepmother kind of thing and try my best to like her, which is difficult when the only time I have ever met her she came to see us for an hour and spent it sitting with her back to me and ignoring everything I said. Phew and that's just the tip of the iceberg!! So it has all been a bit messed up in my head and I have been trying to carry on, which was fine until I fell pregnant but now I'm just finding almost impossible. After finding this thread I realised that it's not just me and have felt so much better, like I can face up to things and try and establish a level plain so that we can move forward in a positive way, rather than the half spoken muddle we are living in at the moment. So I've been to the doctor and had a good chat about how I'm feeling and she has signed me off work for the next few weeks to have some time out to relax and get myself more together. Really good as now feel that I have some breathing space and so not too overwhelmed for first time in ages.

Righ enough rambling, I'll stop now and just say a big thank you for the amazing warmth I feel from reading the posts on here

Klio - really glad you've been able to talk about how you feel. There's always someone on MN to listen if you need.

As it has been quiet on here lately, I guess most of us are not doing too badly at the mo.
I had 10 tear-free days in arow, which is pretty amazing. I've talked lots to DP and he is helping more. I also saw the homeopath who gave me something to take - not sure if it helpsor if it's just the placebo effect, but I'm not questioning it!

Klio - Hope you are doing ok at the moment.

I'm glad to see the lack of activity on this thread too Jasnem!!

I'm back here for bad reasons, rather than a just checking in visit. I had been doing sooooo well, and then the past few days, its all gone wrong again I'm just feeling completely useless, lethargic and very very tearful. My poor DD is having such a rough time... we should be enjoying these last few weeks enjoying each other while there is no baby, and instead she sits and watches tv whilst mummy gazes into space, or attempts housework.

I feel like I don't deserve another child if this is how I care for the one I have I seem to spend all my time hoping that someone will come and take her away for the day.

Hello all

I am 18 wks pregnant with 2nd child. Daughter is nearly 15. Is a solo project as the dad doesn't want to know, but I am ok with that and very excited about the baby!

My mood has been quite flat & low, however, and I suppose I have been worrying that I am heading down a similar route to a nasty bout of PND I had 5 yrs ago after a miscarriage, where everyone around me thought I was losing my marbles.

Back then , I had a post puerperal depression which meant I actually went a bit mad. I hadn;t realised, however, that feeling low could sneak up on you even before the birth, and even when you are generally happy about life.

After feeling lousy for weeks this time, not coping at work, and feeling stressed about even cooking the dinner, i decided to go and see the GP, who said "Ive never even heard of ante natal depression". Gosh, so reassuring!

Anyway, his one redeeming act was to put me off sick and that was the best tonic ever. Am feeling much better not trying to be superwoman, and recommend anyone who is feeling the pinch to do the same.

The irony of work being the stressor is that I am a qualified psychiatric nurse, used to counselling others, and am also a project manager for mental health in my county. There is a sense in all similar professions that you should be able to cope, and that these feelings only happen to 'clients'.

Have decided now however, that this is just a load of old tosh and am instead going to just watch far too much celebrity big brother live streaming and eat chocolate.

Hope you all feel better soon x

Stupid doctor . I guess it must be a bit like my mum's accountant... he sends his tax return form off to another accountant because he forgets to do it himself, so working with depressed people/mental health problems must be that you just assume that it either won't happen to you, or that you would see the warning signs early.

I found that being signed off work (during last pregnancy) was the best thing too - ok, I had added worries about my job because I was applying for a promotion, and knew the time off would go against me, but just not having to do everything lifted such a weight.

Enjoy your chocolate!!

Kathryn - I'm an RMN too, maybe we're at higher risk!

Hope the rest helps.

Flame - I'm sure you're suffering sleep deprivation. More rest has definitely helped me (easier said than done, I know).

I think one of the side effects of working in mental health field is diagnosing yourself ! To make matters worse, both my parents are psych nurses so as soon as I look mildly fed up, they are humming to themselves and listing symptoms!

Am fairly sure, despite my silly GP's comments, there are lots of us who at times get a bit overwhelmed by the whole business...

-how can I possibly fit any more stretchmarks on this tummy?
-In order to survive on SMP, will I have to sell my body to bump fetishists?
-why is my pregnancy lasting 27 months?
-am I the only hypochondriac on my midwife's books?
-why do pushchair descriptions/packages need an IQ of 400 to understand them?
-why are all baby magazines full of sexual positions in pregnancy, at exactly the same moment as you feel the largest most unsexy female on the planet?
-Do my TV viewing habits mean my baby will come out and only stop crying during the Big Brother theme tune?
(baby just kicked at that point... that must mean YES )

Am glad I have you all here to rant at. It saves me talking to my cat, which would definitely have my parents phoning the hospital...

Last time round I wanted to add in "why are the women in those baby magazines f*ckin "blooming"?!?!" . I have been better over the whole blooming thing this time round though!

Oh, and DD would stop crying for the Buffy theme, but for Angel she would wake up and cry the second it started, and only settle if she was downstairs to listen to the whole programme (at about 2 months old).

I've been good for a while, but now I"m crying for no reason again.

DP has gone out and I'm hiding from te kids while they watch videos.
Really don't know whats wrong with mr today..

I've been good for a while, but now I"m crying for no reason again.

DP has gone out and I'm hiding from te kids while they watch videos.
Really don't know whats wrong with mr today..

Maybe you sucked mine out of me yesterday? I wish I could help, just really sending hugs and hoping it passes soon.

According to DP I'm allowed to be upset and worried about the baby/birth, but anything else (like no monet, no job, him deciding he needs a new van on credit)he's not prepared to listen to, as its not my problem....

He really is a bit useless at times.

According to DP I'm allowed to be upset and worried about the baby/birth, but anything else (like no monet, no job, him deciding he needs a new van on credit)he's not prepared to listen to, as its not my problem....

He really is a bit useless at times.

bump!

bump

How's everyone doing now? I seem to be a lot better depression-wise, just into grumpy "get it out" stage now .