Ante-Natal Depression - Support Each Other

[flamesparrow]

I've seen it mentioned on a few other threads, and thought that some kind of support thread might help (sorry if there is already one going somewhere... I tried to search but am useless at it ).

Thought it went well as a "club"

Antenatal depression is much more common than people seem to realise. There are so many things going on, that it is not surprising that we get overwhelmed, and sometimes that can spiral into a real depression.

For all those who are worrying (as far as I have been able to read up) - there is no link between antenatal depression and PND, so if you are very low now, please don't panic and assume it will continue when you have your baby... a whole new set of feelings and hormones kick in then

Soooo... if you are pregnant and feeling low, come here, have a rant, a cry, and hopefully we can help eachother through it.

GPs generally know nothing, and the one who spoke to you is one of them.

In an earlier life I was a psychiatric nurse (not that that helps me now), but I know from past experience that people of all levels of intelligence can suffer from all types of mental illness. It really doesn't discriminate!

I have been not too bad today, definitely had worse days. I have ignored Dp for most of the day, but he's taken it in his stride.
Went back to bed at lunch time, after a bad night sleep, but gave up as I was getting visits from the kids every 20 mins.

as someone who suffered from antenatal OCD/depression, though I am so sorry that anyone has to go through this, I am really pleased to see this thread, and people talking about this openly and supporting each other, and dispelling the myth that women are always blooming and ecstatic when PG.

My GP was about as useful as a chocolate teapot -refused to prescribe ADs or refer me to a psychiatrist as "a psychiatrist would only suggest I have counselling anyway". A particularly unfortunate viewpoint given that counselling isn't an effective treatment for OCD....

What saved me was confessing all about how I was feeling to the doctor at the one routine medical appointment at the Maternity hospital - I was regularly seen by the Consultant and her team, and referred to the psychiatrist, and disability support midwife. Even if your GP isn't helpful, there are other ways of getting the appropriate help - via the hospital, the midwives, the HV.

I strongly suspect that my hormones played a large factor in the OCD/Depression - I felt significantly better once I started taking the Pill at 8 weeks postnatal.

Best of luck to you all.

Had antenatal depression (baby now 12 weeks) was very upset by the lack of support. I am happy as larry now baby is here no pnd - all back to normal. But very low and spaced out from week 25 of pregancy.I was also low in iron and may have had thyroid problems too, which may have triggered it.

Happy to help if any one wants to tell me their concerns xxx

I was just lurking and found this thread.

I'm not pg but I also suffered ante-natal depression in my pg. It started pretty much as soon as I gave up work which was at 30wks as I had spd.

Anyway, neither my doctor nor my midwife seemed to acknowledge it as a condition, telling me it was just nerves. I burst into tears in front of DH and 10 other couples during the active birth session. She (MW) just said,'everyone's frightened of the pain!' This made me and because it wasn't labour I was worried about it was the rest of my life.

However, I just wanted to post in case there are any first time mums out there who are suffering from AND and tell you that it doesn't mean you will def. get PND. My AND passed at 39wks and I was fine after the birth. Although my old life and figure) has still gone to pot!

Good luck with pg and birth!

Not had a good weekend and wanted to vent my feelings on here if that's ok. Was really looking forward to my works xmas do on friday night and then friends had planned a meal for us on the sat. Anyway, DH got pretty pissed at the works do and I ended up going home on my own because he decided to stay out . Then he got pissed at the footie all day saturday (after apologising for his state on the friday) and then passed out at the meal at our friends. I just seem to have cried since I left my works do on friday night and tbh it isn't really because of DH's behaviour this weekend, although it really hasn't helped. I just couldn't stop yesterday and everytime I saw some little baby things I had been bought or I felt movement in my tummy I just uncontrollably sobbed again. I don't know why, we both desparately want this baby and we have tried to conceive for over a year to have it but I don't know whether fear has crept in or whether I'm anxious or what but I just feel so low and I can't pick myself back up.

I have moments like this and I know I'm ok really and that it is probably (no, definitely) just hormones but I'm so tired. I'm at work which also isn't helping coz I hate it here.

Feels better to have got that down, I know DH wants to try and comfort me but he gets a bit frustrated when I'm like this, I guess coz he doesn't understand how I'm feeling - neither do I though which is the worrying thing. It's awful not being in control of your emotions at all and I have found it really difficult to deal with this weekend. I normally love xmas and I just can't wait for it to be over this year.

Thanks for listening.

bump.

thanks jas I did see this one, will have a good read tomorrow morning in work if that's ok.

glad there's no link between anti/post natal depression.

hope everyone's feeling ok today.

(oops sorry do u mind if I post here as well?)

It's not a closed shop! Anyones welcome. I'm not sure that I'm clinically depressed but do find this a good place to moan/rant when feeling very low.
I know that AND is real and can be terrible so anysupport at all must be a positive thing, and to know you're not alone always helps.

I was up 'til 3am last night , after DP woke me at 11.45 because my snoring was keeping him awake. I think I was right to be angry - he did the same thing once when I was pregnant with my first and I really thought he had learnt from ny reaction then that depriving a 7 month pregnant tired woman of sleep is not a good thing.
Once something has upset me, I am stresssed, crying and generally wound up for ages. He did apologise (alot) but I can't seem to just get over things like I would normally.
Today I'm very tired (nosurprise there, as when I did go to sleep DD1 woke me up with nightmares, and we all got up for school as usual at7), but hoping to get loads of housework done, to keep nice and busy - so no MN after 10am for me today!

Sorry - I haven't stuck my head in for a while... Thankfully it has been because I have been feeling sooo much brighter. I do still have very very low days, when I just want to make the world go away - they normally end in lots of shouting, crying until I'm sick, and then a very sound night's sleep and I feel sooo much better in the morning.

Jasnem - your DH needs waking every night for the next week.

Munz - hope you are ok

Flame - I think he's going to suffer for alot longer than a week after last nights performance ( Oh, HE didn't get to go back to sleep either last night!)

i'm doing OK today flame thanks. had a dose of vin desiel so doing ok today - yesterday was a bad day. it's just good to know ur not alone.

I did start another thread and jas pointed me over here. (so thanks jas)

I don't know how much is PG hormones any more and how much is actually me - cos this certainly don't feel like me!

jas - I hear u honney - at the minute I feel like crying for no reason and then feel a fool cos I say to DH nothing's wrong but he know's there is but I don't knwo what it is iycwim. - oh god who'd be PG!

as for the sleep thing - DH was good/has been v good, if he's wanting to get a good nights sleep (apparently I kick/punch him when i'm asleep) lol. he goes into the spare room for a night. I sleep like the dead so can't really help wiht the snoring thing.

I have days like that Munz, in fact have just re-read my last post on here and sometimes I forget how low I am on some days. You're right aswell, it just doesn't feel like you and somehow you just can't explain why you feel the way you do. I have seriously worried my mum over the past few weeks so am off to see her again tonight (in a good cheery mood) so she knows it is just the pregnancy hormones and nothing more sinister!

I'm glad you are feeling better today, I am just trying to take each day as it comes and Dh is aware that some days I cope better than others and on my bad days he just accepts that nothing will cheer me up or stop crying and that it isn't his fault.

Hello.
Can I sneak in and join you too?
I don't know why I didn't look here the other day when I was feeling so crap. It's really weird for me because during my other two pregnancies I was absolutely fine. I know I've been really horrible to dh at times but I can't help it and of course that makes me feel worse. Luckily he's pretty easy going and just puts up with it bless him.

yes chloe DH has taken to not talking to me until I talk to him incase his heads bitten off these hormones, but some days I feel so anti social I don't even want to talk to him let alone the outside world! (that was a hard concept for DB to grasp as we normally talk daily)

cat hey you. is'nt it a relief to knwo we're not alone with this!

Bump.

MummytoSteven
I am interested in your reference to OCD/antenatal depression. I think my sister who is pg at the moment might be suffering from this - could you tell me a bit about your symptoms and treatment. Would help lots.
Honeymum

I wish I'd found this when I was pg. I didn't even realise that there was such a thing as ante-natal depression until after I gave birth and suddenly started feeling better. I am not sure what I thought was wrong with me really. I fell pg only 3 months after my ds was born and although it was planned (perhaps not quite as quick as that) I thnk I went into shock over the thought of coping with 2 young babies at once. I really worried about it throughout the pregnancy, used to have days where I cried constantly, felt very tired, didn't want speak to anyone and had raging rows with my dp over silly things. I felt clumsy and resented the fact that I had to rely on mainly my dp for things like lifting and carrying. I am normally very self sufficient in this respect. Plus my ds was becoming increasingly mobile and more wriggly ! I just couldn't imagine how I was going to cope....
But you do...I had a relatively easy birth and my dd is now 3m old. It's tough, but not that tough, and I suddenly feel a whole lot better. Just wanted to reassure others going through it at the moment, that things do improve, almost straight away. And do use Mumsnet for support as there are many others in your situation. A problem shared and all that...

What a timely thread to stumble upon. Hi Munz .
I am so up and down this preg and for me it really is like my PND so hope I can get it over and done with now instead of later eh?
I've just lost the will to do anything - work, housework, cooking and instead would quite happily cabbage and cry for the next three months!
After a huge low (snot and tears for two days) I am feeling much better mostly because DP is making an effort to understand instead of saying 'you can't get upset at pessimistic environmental disaster conversations whilst at a dinner party'!!. Now just gives me a hug and a hanky .

hiya girls, hope everyone's feeling ok. i've had a few good days, esp tongiht at the works do, was god to let me hair down!
talk soon

I'm so pleased to see this thread is on the front page now too - makes it feel like the whole thing is being taken more seriously!!

I have been doing ok for the past few weeks - I have had a few short lived meltdowns, but I get to the tears and snot stage much faster than I was, and once I've cried myself sick, I feel human and ready to carry on again.

I had this I think combined with seriously high blood pressure
Signed off at 20 weeks pregnant, initially for blood pressure but subsequently for ante-natal depression.

Since having ds2 almost ten months ago, I haven't felt more sane (apart from working....cutting my hours down now hopefully)

Honeymum - just seen your message. If you to chat about this further offboard, my e-mail address is [email protected].

Re:the OCD. It manifested itself by a morbid fear that I would harm the baby by not being clean enough/eating the wrong thing and getting listeria or toxoplasmosis. Result - compulsive handwashing and poor appetite as eating anything was so stressful. I would spend several hours a day obsessively worrying at my worst. This (unsurprisingly) led to me becoming clinically depressed. There are of course a number of other ways OCD can manifest - compulsive checking, compulsive cleaning, intrusive unpleasant thoughts.

Treatment - had a battle to get referred to a psychiatrist and get prescribed medication. I had CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) privately, and managed to get referred to psych and was prescribed Prozac at 30 weeks. The CBT didn't really do very much until the Prozac started kicking in. I would say by the time of birth (after 10 weeks on the Prozac) I was about 50% better, and by 3 months after the birth I was 90% better.

Mild OCD can be resolved without medication by use of CBT. There are some excellent self-help books available about CBT/treating OCD. One called the OCD Handbook by Hyman and Pedrick, and a few good books by Lee Baer in particular.

Hello Feastofsteven (great name) - will reply privately - thanks for the offer.

does any one else have really anxious moments? i've been having loads of late.

Anxious moments? All the time - to be honest I think thats part of preparing for the anxious rest of my life as the kids grow up!

I'm ridiculously tired, which I know makes everything worse at the moment. I went to bed before the kids last night, after crying when the 5 yr old didn't like the pjs I'd got out for her. I only slept for an hour though, as the reflux and heartburn kept waking me up, so I don't really feel much better this morning.