November 2011 - holding hands, making plans & having scans

[TerrysNo2]

Thread 2 for the chatty lot. Welcome from the first thread and hopefully some newbies too!

This thread is for chats and this thread is for stats!

Continue as you were....

Wow you've all moved on so quickly since I last checked in! We'll be on a new thread before long!

collie2 and others - thank you for the kind things you've said about my blog and Belle. My blog space has really been my salvation and given me the liberty to say things "outloud" I couldn't in RL. It really helps to process everything I'm thinking and feeling there and I hope it helps people who read it from RL relate to me and raises awareness of very much a silent issue. Excitingly the local paper has been to see me this morning, taken photos and listened to my story about Belle and why we are fundraising for Sands. I can't believe what my girl is inspiring and can't wait to see it in the paper!

Fingers crossed for you all that you get the births you want. My friend had a HB last year and she says it was a wonderful experience.

I know mine is going to be heavily medicalised but I really don't care. I'll be induced at 37/38 weeks, and been on a antibiotic drip and traces of the baby throughout. All that matters to me is that the baby comes home.

Still haven't been sick for a while. Mild nausea if anything. Wondering if this is a greedy boy baby because it is so different at the moment to my 1st pregnancy. Although I know same sex can be completely different too. Can't wait to find out what I'm having. (We'll name at the 20 week scan like we did with Belle).I'll have to change my name then I suppose to include them both!

Hope everyone is having a nice day. I have a nail appointment this afternoon, so pamper time for me!

Ack, so much talking...

smilingcl The muscle issue is due to the seperated ab muscles not coming together, and this can take up to 6 months after the birth to find out if they will without intervention. I had an issue with this in a previous pregnancy. I would point your friend to the katysays.com website which has a lot of exercises and posture issues which can help.

Dirge, MrsArch, HomeBirths This will [God willing] be my third homebirth, so I guess I'm an old hand at fighting for these things. And sadly, they can be a fight - but just remember they cannot force you to go to hospital, they can only put a "did not recommend homebirth" in your file to cover their butts. If I can get a homebirth with a history of anemia, anyone can.

With my third, I did transfer after the birth (had a very bad reaction to the injection to speed up the placenta) and they still waited an hour before calling the ambulance to see if things would resolve themselves and still asked me if I was okay with that. Transfering can be a PITA for them, so they're unlikely to just transfer you unless you want to and they're unlikely to push for it unless it is really serious.

If this is what you want, try to get someone on side. Dirge I would recommend going to the head in your area, explaining what's been going on (because she shouldn't be acting like that), and ask for another midwife. Having a negative midwife, to me, is one of the most draining things about pregnancy.

It feels a bit weird being one of the old hands, but as I'm on my fourth, I guess I am. I'm happy to answer any question (though others will likely be better for pushchairs as I'm more of a carrier person - I need all the free hands I can get ).

Wow, busy thread ladies. Nearly time for a new one again!

After nearly 2 weeks of no symptoms and me panicking about MMC i have MS back which is horrible. I am being a grouchy cow with the kids today and DH is on nights so is going to hate me for screaming at them all day but is such a relief that I am not feeling normal.

Homebirth Dirge and others, no reason why you can't have one if that is what you want. Especially as you are fully aware of the risks. Can only echo everyone else who have said get a different MW.

Personally I would like a Homebirth but would be happier in hospital again and DH can't handle the stress of me giving birth at home. He is a worrier and can't cope. lol

pfff dunno what to do...
have been tidying up this morning as we are having friends over this afternoon so the children can play together,
just went to the toilet and had a big blob of red blood in pantyliner, have been having little bits of brown/pinkish for over the last 2 weeks.
Midwife can only be reached in the mornings between 9 and 9.30
do I phone NHS direct to ask what to do or do I phone EPU to ask if I can come in this afternoon?
I thought it was all going reasonably well and looking forward to scan next week.
Been told not to worry too much, but feel very worried now

Oh tink call the epu, they will acept referral from your GP usually and my GP did a referral over the phone so I didn't have to go in. Or you can go via A&E if you're worried.

I'll keep checking back, let me know what you plan to do. Thinking of you.

thanks dirge think I will...
it's that I'm home alone with DD without a car to go anywhere, DH is out (training to be driving instructor) so can't reach him on the phone, dunno when he will be back in. hopefully soon

Ok, well get the ball rolling with a few calls. Do you know when he's due back?

If they can arrange an appointment then just get the essentials you need to get going when your DH gets back.

Don't panic, its very likely to be nothing. So many of us have had similar bleeding so stay positive ok?

Oh I am a fool, you don't know when he'll be back. Pay attention Dirge!

I'm trying to stay positive, it seems to have stopped again, I'm also not having any cramps or anything...
well I guess that's no more household chores for me again then
I'll monitor it for the next hour or so, if it gets any worse, I will ask for another scan at EPU

Blue Stay positive. No cramps almost certainly means no problem!

Mash I'm phobic about needles and find the best way for me is NOT to look. I faint every time I look, but have no problem so long as I look away. I keep chatting, however aimlessly, and pretend it isn't happening and I'm quite relaxed about it now - it does get easier the more times you have to do it. So there is no one size fits all way to handle it. Just ask yourself if you think it would make you feel better to look, or look away (I can't even watch a needle on TV without squirming and looking away!).

Smiling I had an extreme makeover about 5 years ago, after I thought I'd finished having kids. I got all the things fixed that I didn't like. I had all the loose baggy stretchmarked skin taken off, and the surgeon said " Goodness! Look how far apart your abdominal muscles are! Would you like me to sew them together for you, whilst I'm there?" There was no extra charge, and I thought why not? It was great to have a firm tummy again with no visits to the gym, but it could have been achieved with exercise, had I not been having an op in any case. I also had minimal breast implants put in as after having bf four babies my boobs were like sad empty bags. If I leant forward they were like two pointer dog's noses! I'd always been happy enough with my 'A' cups pre-pregnancies - small but perfectly formed, I'd thought, but I hated them after. Luckily I had them done under the muscle because I wanted a natural look, so my own breasts are on top, and I should be able to bf again. I also got my nose done, and my double chin (which I still had even at 7 and a half stone) liposuctioned out. I loved my new look, all very much worth it, and haven't had any other work since, so not ended up addicted to surgery either!

Of course, now I am ruining some of it! My abdominal stitches will soon be going ping, ping ping! and my tits may look shit again. But I think I'm past caring. I'm single, will have 5 kids including an autistic one and a baby at 50. Being realistic, no one will want me, and having seen the men out there on Match.com, I really don't want any of them anyway! I'm picky, and I'm not unhappy as I am.

afternoon all.

blue hope you haven't had anymore blood.

Well she tried the doppler but as i suspected didn't manage to hear anything. so will just have to wait till scan. i asked if she can put appt sooner rather than later but all she said was that she'd fax it when she got back to the office, which i'm sure she'd do anyway.

knockedup your post made me laugh (and inspired me slightly). My boobs have deflated terribly in the last 3 months, I think its what Hilary Flowers calls the winter of breastfeeding (happens quickly in pregnancy). I didn't know you could get implants under the muscle and they'd look more natural. Can I ask how they feel? If that's too cheeky then feel free to ignore. You've made me oddly optimistic for my own boobs now.

And Rofl at not wanting the men on Match.com anyway. A friend of mine met someone on there, was blissfully happy even though she was his first girlfriend (he was 35) and he only had a single bed. Alarm bells didn't ring. He dumped out of the blue one day, in a car park. When she went back on Match she found he was back on, with new pictures taken during a holiday they'd recently been on but she was cropped out of them all. Broke her heart. I tried speed dating once (pre-DH). Very amusing and every man said he wanted to see me again which was bizarre but probably due to that fact that I was pissed and smiley and giving off all the wrong signals. It was fun though

Ah cep sorry you couldn't hear the hb, it is very early though so don't panic. The moody MW said 20 weeks to me yesterday although I think when I had DD it was 16 weeks when I heard the hb. A lot changes even in a week at this stage.

cep glad that the MW tried for you, don't worry that she didn't find the HB just look forward to your scan with positive thoughts.

blue I hope you have had no more bleeding, I dare say it is one way to get out of the household chores but hopefully it is nothing to worry about x x

dirge I would say speak to the head of MW in your area and ask re: a new MW and when you need to book to see them (my MW wants to see me at 16 weeks so it is between dating/nuchel and anomaly scans) I know that every area is different but definitely better to double check.

It is so hard having DS off school, trying to keep him amused when all I want to do is sleep - just not at night time (still signed off work thankfully). I really feel for those with younger children around all the time!!

haven't had any more big bleeds... so Fx
thanks all for thinking of me
just had a nice relaxed afternoon sitting outside in the sunshine talking to my friend while the kids enjoyed themselves

Hi all,

Hope things have calmed right down Bluetink! I got another big brownish clot yesterday, shortly after a major falling out with our clothes horse so think I may sign off sick on housework too.
Pipsbump are you still getting that stitch like pain? It sounds very much like ligament pain to me - lots of ligaments will be stretching and snapping as things adjust around your midriff and it can bloody well hurt. I remember I had an annoying cough when this was happening with DS and it was agony!
I too may join the buggy talk soon. I have a loola for DS and hate it, I've already said to DH that the only new thing I want for this DC is a buggy. Well I say new, I mean new from Ebay

This whole signing off housework thing, sounds like a really good cure for first trimester exhaustion and nausia!

There are actually no clothes left in my wardrobe! They're all in my ironing pile! Poppet those clothes horses are dangerous bloody things! Best to stay clear!

Latest news with me, is I dug out my Thai fishermans pants this evening! These babies are gonna see me right through to 9 months! Bought them on our honeymoon a year and a half ago, and not worn them once, but the waist band wraps around you, and I can currently fit about 5 of me in one pair, so will be awesome to wear when I'm huge! I'm not showing yet, but my stomache is so bloated everyday, that I've no room in any of my clothes! Get home everyday and bust my buttons straight open!

I can't even think about buying pushchairs yet, not bought anything, as worried too much about tempting fate :-(

Although, we told the mums on mothers day, and MIL has started knitting already!

Evening everyone,

bluetink fx that is it for the bleeding, hope you are ok,must have got a fright.

Knockedup thank you for making me smile :)

I hope all the ladies who would like a hb get one...I wouldn't be allowed one because of my blood clotting condition, it will be consultant led all the way for me, but I've never known any different so I am happy with that. Meeting with the consultant on Tuesday when I have my scan (oh please let Pip be in there fighting his/her corner).

Poppet I am still getting the pain, had a melt down last night and dp had to calm me down, I am such a worrier and I kept thinking please not another miscarriage, I don't think my heart could take it :( I called my usual mw this morning and she is on holiday so called the community mw office and left a message for her colleague, haven't heard anything (and I understand she is busy).

I spoke to the other mw last week when I had a sharp pain and she told me that she 'wasn't sure what it could be' and that I should keep my fingers crossed :(

It didn't fill me with the confidence that I thought a mw would give me.

Anyway I am going to the docs tomorrow morning, I can't have another restless night of fretting and I don't think dp can put up with me chuntering to myself either . I feel bad because I'm going to call in sick and technically i'm not sick, I just need to save my sanity!

I feel like I've become this maniac in the past week.

Buggy chat...trying not to get ahead of myself (but it is so hard). I love the Silver cross ones but need to do more research (lots of fun in that).

Sorry for moaning again!

Talking of buggies I've just noticed a new mama and papas outlet store in town :) got very excited but just glanced through the window too scared to walk through the door yet!

Staceroo those Thai fisherman's trousers are fantastic!! My globetrotting sister gave me two pairs when I was pregnant with my son and they were bloomin' brilliant! He was a summer babe so they were spot on for those hot days when I was the size of a sea mammal.
Pip oh hunny, for the sake of your little heart I so do hope it's just ligament pains - if its any consolation I really, really suffered with them, constant twinges and pulls and sharp pains. I used to have a very toned tum so my MW told me I'd suffer alot with them. Ahem, I'm not noticing very many ligament pains this time That midwife of yours sounds bloody underwhelming btw so I hope things go much better with your doc tomorrow and fingers crossed for the scan on Tuesday. If it's any help I think the fact you are fretting and worrying about it all sounds very 'pregnant'!

Oooo H007 I'm loving the outlet stores thought. Buggy-shopping is one bit DH is definitely excited about.

Still trying not to tempt fate though - and also trying to work out how I can stop my parents force feeding me fizz (they know, but are definitely of the generation to think alcohol is OK).

Thoughts on alcohol in moderation? I'm minded to say I've gone off it (even if I haven't).

More pressing is a wretched cold. I had the day off yesterday and spent half of it in bed feeling sorry for myself. Then had to phone NHS Direct when DH made a good attempt at slicing his own finger off cooking tea. At least I now know I can cope with the sight of blood! Was not the day of restfulness I had planned... Then got a double dose of loo breaks through the night (as having a cold always makes me need the loo!)

Yikes, I can't keep up with you guys...

I'm totally bloated as well, I have been wearing dresses and legging to work, I just can't bear the thought of buttons at the moment. I fear I'm going to be as big as a house. The book tells me, "you may notice you start to thicken around the waist this week". Er hello, weeks AGO more like.

Buggy/pram/travel system whatever they call it, I was thinking it would be okay to get second hand as people seem to go through them and change them depending don't they? Oh I dunno, maybe I'll want new, but they just seem like such a fortune.

Booze wise, I have completely gone off it. Not even a tiny bit tempted, and I was a booze hound before. Also gone off coffee from a two double shot skinny capps a day habit. My bank balance is thanking me, money at the end of the month no less!

Evening all, my mw appt was fine, I was in and out after giving blood and urine sample! Thanks for needle tips (ha ha) I'm not at all phobic about them but often pass out after giving blood - not today though, they let me lie down while they took it.

The mw has referred me to the HB team in my area but they won't see me till 20 weeks so after I have had my scan (hurry up 4 May!) I can book my next appt with the GP midwife at 16 weeks. Then go ahead with HB as long as no complications.

My DH spotted the buggy he wanted, looked it up online and its only available in the US!

Quickie from me (!), re prams. I couldn't bear to part with £400-500 for a pram so we opted for a Silver Cross 3D. It's great, only downside is that you cannot push one handed.

For the newbies - when you are researching/shopping make sure the pram fits in your car boot. V important! Just ask the sales assistant and they will walk out with you to try it out.

cep sorry the mw couldn't find the hb this time.

mashpot glad the appt went well and good luck with the HB plans. Check out your DH lovin that he's into checking out buggies!

I think we'll go secondhand again for a buggy. That way I won't feel so bad getting another one. Our last one was second hand and was in fine condition - other than being an obstreparous pile of attitude - plus the lovely vender gave me the raincover, prambag, footmuff, parasol and loads of toys in it for free. I should have guessed she was relieved to have it off her hands . But I think my relationship with it has soured over the 19 months I've been battling with it, initially I liked it. Am very reluctantly considering ditching the parent facing idea - which I have to admit I've loved with DS - in order to get other features like off roading, a lighter than 10kg frame (especially if I end up with another section scar) a better shopping basket, a bar handle so I can push it with one hand not two, non swivel wheels because I can't take our one's shopping trolley finesse anymore and decent one hand folding. Am currently thinking of a city mini jogger. However do any buggy bods know of a reversible facing buggy that has these features? That would be my ideal, but I realise I may want the moon on a stick. Other than a buggy I'm only really looking forward to buying a special 'first outfit' as we have the rest. Hmmm although I might think about a new moses basket. The one we borrowed was a vile frilly lacy thing made of sodding wicker and everytime you so much as breathed on it it creaked and woke DS up. Mind he was a rubbish sleeper. Anyway I'll call off my inner shopperholic for a good few months yet....