MrsA join me in the fight! 
Thanks for understanding everyone. You really made me feel better.
I lay awake for hours last night thinking about what the midwife said. Did I tell you she also said 'and even if you get your homebirth if we say you have to transfer then you have to transfer no doing this and saying "no I'm having a homebirth no matter what" because your baby comes first'.
I won't tell you what I thought because it involves far too many swear words but I don't know one single mother who wouldn't transfer if needed or who doesn't put her baby first. Idiot. And that applies to any hb mum surely? My "increased" risk of tearing doesn't jeopardise the baby anyway.
I think I am going to have to look at indie midwives although we desperately can't afford one. DH has said if I really want one then he'll find a way .
I spoke to the SOM actually but only by chance. We moved to Cheshire from Yorkshire last year and just before I moved I called Sheila Kitzinger's Birth Crisis helpline. The woman I spoke to was a SOM in Manchester and was so lovely. She gave me loads of tips and said to call back when I'd moved. I never did because I thought she wouldn't remember me etc.
Anyway, here you self-refer to midwives over the phone and by chance I ended up speaking to the SOM here. She asked about previous birth problems and stopped me part way through telling her and said "You spoke to XX last year! I know about you! I have your name on a bit of paper in my bag, I knew you'd call one day". She was so lovely I cried. She said we need to make you aware of the risks but if you still really want a hb then we will support you". Apparently the woman I'd spoken to on the phone last year had called the SOM for the area I was moving to and told her about me, they'd included me in a regional meeting.
So I thought this MW would be ok but my worry now is that whoever lands on my doorstep when I'm in labour may also feel "twitchy" about my history and prefer to blue light me in at the first sign of slow labour where other women would be supported through it. I suppose I feel like I won't be given a fair go at it, just a token chance.
How soon do you call the MW for a HB? Do you leave it until the last minute like when going into hospital?
Terrys and Mash good luck today. Yep, they took blood and pee from me. They also explained the tests they do and offered me the choice between the Quad test and a Nuchal test. I also have to have a GTT for Gestational Diabetes in a few weeks. I don't see a MW now until 20 weeks though. I guess you see them more often towards the end.
Folic 2 friends of mine had fab home births with their first babies. It can be done. I think often women think they want to go to hospital first time to prove to themselves that they can do it and then next time they'll do it at home.
I was reading something on distance from hospital and it said being 30 mins from the hospital isn't neccessarily a worry. If you were in hospital and had an emergency they'd take a while to get staff together and prep theatre so you'd probably wait that long anyway and if your transferring in then they do all that while you're on your way so you don't necessarily lose out.
Cep ouch! My sister tore for exactly the same reason, he came out like superman!
twojacks my friend had a doppler and loved it. She acknowledged that sometimes she couldn't find a hb and so would spends ages searching scaring herself to death but on balance she was glad she had it.