The PESH deli: Beware the Peshes of March

[Medee]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb

UPDIFFED

Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Medee, freaking out at being second on the list, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, thinking of displaying her enorma-bump at freak shows, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
Milanomum, showing it off, due Aug 6th
Owlbooty, still can't stop belching, due 7th August
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn

We chose our name a few days after the 21-wk scan but already know of one other baybee with the name, despite it not being that common. There just wasn't another name that 'went' with what we know our family will be like, if that makes sense. Names are tricky - TYF's name was really uncommon when he was growing up (first time he met another guy with the same name was when he was at uni) but now it's become reeeeally popular, which annoys him (mainly because it used to be posh, now not so much!), so you can't win either way. Are we daft because we don't like the fact that our chosen name is in the top 50 names for last year (neither of ours were and mine never will be)?! We will be redressing the balance with 1 or 2 'I beg your pardon?' middle names We both err on the more eccentric scale of the name spectrum but have reigned it in for the sake of The Lad. Think people will be surprised at how relatively sane our choice is!

Thing is, some people suit an odd or more uncommon name - I love having an uncommon name myself, and suit it - and some people suit a more common name - my brother has a very common name and is totally that name, IYKWIM. TYF's cousin has a really bizarre name but he suits it well.

Re: Bobkate's name - there were 2 Elvises in my brother's year, so you are totally right about the unusual name cluster thing, Muse. Also, BobKate's name is bloody lovely.

Rocket, v happy you had such a good MW appointment. Good stuff, good stuff :)

TENS trial sounds great, MedeecinsSansFrontieres. Will you be using it fo' real tomorrow, I wonder? (no pressure, like)

So sorry to hear that you and MiniStew are feeling worse, not better, Cass Just hope it clears up for both of you ASAP

I am still in shock after seeing my stretchmarks up close in the mirror in my hairdresser's loo yesterday - they go down right into my pubic region! WHY? That area hasn't stretched! It might be okay if I didn't have a fucking BALD patch in my already sparse pubic hair, FFS. Also, she's cut much chunkier layers than I asked for and it now looks like a 60s wig.

Mr Loz & I have 2 girl names, which we both love equally. Both fairly common actually, 1 in particular. I thought we had a boys name sorted until Mr Loz had a wobble. So now I don't know. The problem we seem to be having is 1 of the girl names certainly does not go with 1 of the boy names, in case we have 2 children (jumping the gun? Moi?).

I definitely like the idea of just going with numbers. Or having 1 free name change per year. It seems such a decision to make.

Cass sorry you're all still sickly. But I do like your sense of humour at scaring people bending over & coughing . My sister went a paler shade of blue white the other day when I said I had a stitch from walking too quickly & she thought I'd gone into labour.

I've just counted that I have 24 more days to work. When I think lent has started & I'm finishing work at Easter, it does all seem to be running away with me. Meh.

Scorps your hairdressers visit sounds as distressing as mine. I may be grey, bald frankly anything going on in the old pube area, I haven't seen it for a few weeks now. There are some perks to the comedy belly

Oh bad news on the stretch marks and the duff hair do score I really hate mine that I had cut a few weeks ago, she cut it far too short at the front because I forgot to tell her not too and the layers make one side curl out like a ski jump, I will mostly be wearing it tied back for the forseeable.

I have realise we have quite a strict criteria on names. I don't want anything too popular (top 200 are out, TBs favourite was the top girls name for 2009 so that got bumped) but would like something traditional (so unusual but traditional ). I also think it needs to tie in with our heritage so either be english (or rather germanic as most 'english' names are ) celtic or scottish. TB has vetoed any of my more hippyish tendencies. One of the names of the list is actually germanic in origin but sounds italian, which even tho I love it will probably veto that too. Still we have managed to get a list of about 5 or 6 names so that not bad going really and as I said there is a definite front runner at the mo because we both suggested it.

Oh, I've been bald downstairs for years, that's how I know, Loz I've got such thick bloody head hair that it's taken up most of my hair quota.

PS I have wavy/curly hair but straight pubes. TMI but should I contact the Guinness Book of World Records? Or a travelling freak show?

BTW, 24 more work days sounds both good and too many, doesn't it? Keep counting down!

I only really like 2 boys' names and we're using those as our first and middle names for The Lad. I've felt so rough the whole pg through that I dunno if I could go through it again whilst looking after a toddler (my decrepitude is another factor) Also, if we had another, I'd like a girl to balance things out, although of course, you don't get to choose!

Rocket, hair is all-important when you're pg and look and feel like the Goodyear Blimp, isn't it (well, I do - am not commenting on your fine self)? 'Tis the only chance to feel attractive, really! I've become obsessed that my nose has got bigger but everyone says I'm being menkul (I am).

I bloody love name chat! I wanna know what everyone is planning for their names! [noseybonk]

Hello, sorry about the hair disasters scorps and rocket at least those differ hormones will ensure a speedy grow-out!

I caught a glimpse of the lady-garden in the shower yesterday and is very odd. Has got bald patches on both sides so main 'do' is christmas tree shaped but bizarrely has grown a thicket on each side where there was none before. Sort of like side burns. Overall effect is of a hairy W. I am vay vay attractive right now!

Oh my! Sorry for cluster post but just googled "does my nose grow" and google suugested ...in pregnancy. Apparently it can! But it gets wider rather than longer which may or may not be a comfort!

Another hair moan here. I quite like my recent cut, despite the bleeding mole drama. However the colour is dull - I dyed it back to my sludge brown colour to match roots so I wouldn't have to colour it so often when diffed. Now the end is in sight I bought my usual golden blonde & was soooooo looking forward to brightening up my look. However, fecking-stoopid-mole thing has knackered that, as I prolly shouldn't dye my hair with a hole in my head. My mum said so

As per lozzer I have no idea whats going on down there and neither do I care. Have had vague thoughts of going for a wax but doubt very much I will bother. Might get TB to deploy the epilator at some point but in the hands of a novice that could be quite painful. Think I am just going to go all 70's Joy of Sex until after laying.

Bitey Pliz to tell, why on earth did you google "does my nose grow"?

Rocket I've had vague thoughts about going for a wax. That's as far as it got. And I only thought about it after Mr Loz kindly did an impression of a David Bellamy type MW in search of my fango. Have I mentioned how loving & supportive he is

at lozengecutdiamond because score said she thought her nose had grown but was probably just menkul. Am very easily led so in order to worry about own nose started off with googling. Is good news for me really as nose is quite pointy, a bit of width may be nice!

I've had waxes during my pregnancy, as I usually do, but haven't had one since before going to the spa, so heaven knows what it is like down there.

I really want to see your Xmas Tree pubic topiary, Bitey! Although it's a little outdated now - couldn't you go for an Easter egg or possibly a little chick? PS a 'bit of width would be nice', eh? SNURK! [Finbarr Saunders face]

I know my nose hasn't grown, it just seems bigger. Not wider. I guess it might be cos I used to wear make-up most days and now I feel too shit to bother, so maybe I've always had a mahusive conk and didn't realise I have small, beady eyes and do need a bit of slap to balance my face out. Or possibly just a slap, full stop?

The nose of a woman I used to work with really did widen quite alarmingly in her 2nd pg. Clients who hadn't seen her for a while used to visibly freak at the sight of it, but it went back to normal within a few weeks of birf. V odd.

Can I have a moanette about menz? Despite me having shown him all the NCT stuff, repeatedly going through all the details with him, talking about it loads and checking and rechecking that he's cool about doing the classes (what with his shyness and all), TYF is now shocked and pissed off that we're doing the classes, as they're 2 1/2 hours every Saturday for the next 6 wks and apparently he didn't know this I have to do ALL our planning and decision-making: fine. I have to tell him everything 100000 times a day to get him to remember to do anything more complicated than breathing: just-about-fine. Not listening to a word I fucking say EVER or recalling it and then acting like I've sprung it on him: most definitely not fine. Could he not have the fucking respect to remember something he's known about for months?!

The Martyr will do the classes 'for me' 'if he has to'. AAARGH! Is anyone else's bloke this bloody dippy?!

Scorps we're doing the NHS ante natal class. Mr Loz moaned coz its a whole day on a Sat. I also had to book it for a day when Cardiff City were not playing at home .

I think they switch off from "baby" mode sometimes. In their defence not a lot has changed in their daily lives at the moment, whereas we are constantly reminded, be it a bit of puke here, nose growth there . But shhhh, don't tell the menfolk I said that.

We are doing a bumper day of NHS antenatal info too, Loz - are the NCT classes overkill, I wonder?

TYF is pretty good at being switched on about baby stuff - he rubs my comedy trotters every night, is always chatting to my bump, offering to fetch me stuff, turning a blind eye to my delicate feminine belching and farting, etc. - but is just generally crap at remembering stuff, be it holidays, outings, etc. Think it stems from the fact that MIL just tells her family what's going to happen and drops it on them like that, whether it's convenient or they want to, etc., so he's never learnt the art of involving himself in plans.

If in doubt, blame the MIL Oh god, I'll be the MIL of some poor woman one day. I pity her already.

Mind you, I can't be arsed to go every week either. But I do feel anxious about birf and am a control freak who needs to know eeeeeverything possible (I don't do 'going with the flow'), so I do think it's a good idea, esp. as it'll benefit him as he just panics or switches off if he feels out of his depth.

I am supposedly getting some highlights in my hair next week. Going by what seems to be happening here, should I abandon the idea and get highlights in lady-garden instead? It would give the MWs a laugh if nothing else.

Scorps I am fully expecting mutiny from Mr Boots when he realises I have booked us on the 7 week NCT course. And the NHS course. I figured if he heard it all twice it might actually go in.

I haz a large enough nose already; if it grows any more I am going to start wearing a burqa and/or never leave the house again.

Lozza could you perhaps purchase one of these exciting new Snickers creations and then save it til after Lent? No? Me neither

Hahaha. Save chocolate? Hahahahahaha

Booty, a full pubic mohican died green is required, I think. I am going to use your brilliant excuse on TYF: 'We HAVE to go to 6 million bloody classes because it's the only way to ensure you retain some of it in your brain'. I have been trying to train him to remember important labour requests I will theoretically have but keeps getting them muddled, ie please give me an episiotomy for the pain but don't give me an epidural unless it's an emergency. Grrrr.

I also can't get him to understand the concept of the man getting in the birthing pool too and would he like to and if so, he needs to buy some swimming trunks (NB not budgie smugglers, although the hilarity might provide a natural anaesthetic), but it's too complicated. For a man with a Philosophy degree from a Russell Group university

PS I am not really angry but am just being sarky with annoyance. He really is wonderfully supportive, patient and caring. Just a daydreamer :)

BTW For those of you utter bastards who can eat chocolate, there's some sort of bubbly Aero Easter lamb novelty choccy thing available too. Not that I spend hours tearfully gazing at confectionery I can't have, oh no

DYED green! What is wrong with me?

Tis true! Apparently we only retain 25% of stuff what is told to us in one go. Ergo TYF/Mr Boots/all other BESHmenfolk need to go to four sets of classes.

Big no to the budgie smugglers in the pool, Scorps , you don't want that to be the first thing The Lad sees when he enters the world. Cripes.

Bubbly aero easter lamb you say? I shall nobly eat it for you and Lozza and thus save your souls/waistlines/glucose intakes (or something like that). I was born on Easter Monday and thus I consider it my Duty to consume as much chocolate as possible at this time of year.

Lozza I once - note, ONCE - bought a Twix then lost it under the heaps of shitepaper on my desk and forgot about it. Can you imagine how happy I was when I found it by chance about 2 weeks later? It was like bloody Christmas.

Being born around Easter clearly gave you the power to resurrect things from the dead, Booty

I have a near-photographic memory (severely diminshed by baby brain) so I am generally annoyed with most people's lack of recall, TBH. Poor TYF.

The idea of TYF even trying on some budgie smugglers is making me chortle (and my eyes water). Perhaps I shall insist he wears a Borat mankini instead, in penance for not listening to me?

I think a thong is the only way forwards. Or a complete hazmat suit. Could go either way.

Look at these gorgeous baybee things. My baybee is going to look like a gay pride flag or like I bought him in Ikea. I don't care.

And these socks.

fab colours - far better than the all-blue or all-pink I saw in a local small M+S.