August 2011 - 2nd trimester blooming - not us!

[KTisPG]

New thread for us August 11 ladies

Really adventurous aren't I ??? :)

Sorry to dampen the tone of the thread but I could do with sharing some bad news I had earlier.

A good friend of mine who I lived with at uni rang to tell me that she found out she had had a missed miscarriage last week, it would have been her second child. My DS2 and her DD are born within days of each other and although we live a couple of hours apart we make an effort to get together every few months.

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and she said she wanted to talk to someone who would understand how she is feeling, which I do, although mine was earlier and happened naturally and they found out at the scan which must have been just awful.

The problem is that, due to work and generally being busy with two little ones, along with the fact we are moving house next week, I haven't yet got around to telling people about expecting DC3 that I haven't seen over the past couple of weeks. So.... I haven't told her I'm pregnant and I really couldn't have told her on the phone earlier, it just wasn't the time. Now I'm wishing I'd just sent text to everyone a week or two ago so it didn't seem like I am hiding anything - which I'm not, I'm just enjoying telling people when I see or speak to them.

I think I'm going to ring in a couple of weeks when the initial raw grief has subsided a bit, but I am going to have to tell her so no-one else does. We would have been due at roughly the same time again so I know that is going to be hard for her. I feel so sad for her, and guilty too if you know what I mean.

Sorry for the long post.

Littlemiss - gosh, your poor friend :( You're definitely doing the right thing and need to tell her before somebody else does. I feel so sorry for both of you, it will be very hard for her when she knows about your pregnancy (and subsequent milestones etc), but equally you have nothing to feel guilty about (hugs)
I know what you mean about wishing you had told everyone by now. I did an announcement on facebook once I'd told family and close friends and then had a wobble in case I had offended anyone who was TTC (quite feasible for there to be a few, I know 3 people on there who got married last summer). Had to tell myself that that was bonkers in the end, I can't feel guilty for my own pregnancy based on other people's potential feelings when they could all easily not have even thought about TTC yet
Anyway, back to the point, so so sorry about your friend, it's awful news and so sad to find out at the scan :(

littlemisslozza Don't worry about it at all. And I can't imagine how she is feeling... it must be awful. I think I agree with not telling her you are pregnant just yet actually, give her some time but I'm sure things will be okay when you tell her. I can understand it will be really difficult, I'm sure she appreciates you being there for her though. :)

Thank you nickster and Kate. I've booked into a hotel with DP for a couple of nights to get away from things, have terrible wind so couldn't eat at the lovely restaurant we reserved, which I feel terrible about. I've talked to DP about my depression, and he also thinks I should see someone so that's what I'll do. My appointment is on the 16th so it's not too far away, but at the moment I'm more preoccupied with trying to get myself to eat a proper meal today. There are snacks in the hotel thankfully, if there isn't a convenience store nearby.

Woke up yesterday and for the first time in ages did not feel sick. Woo hoo. :) Did feel a bit queasy at points throughout the day but much better than previously.

Woke up this morning feel rough as anything again. Boo hoo. :(

Hooray we've got the emoticon at last! Anyone else want one while I've got the kettle on...? :)

sleepyowl I've had a similar respite from sickness since thursday, but today feel awful again. Hopefully the complete end to the sickness is in sight though!
Felt loads of baby movement last night (13+2) which was brilliant. Have had lots of butterfly type feelings for a few weeks, but this was proper baby wriggling. Nice and reassuring since its stil (quick calculation) 15 sleeps til my first scan. With DD I felt one kick at 17 weeks then nothing again til 20 weeks. I got the butterfly feelings with DS but can't remember how early.

littlemisslozza your poor friend. I second what's been said on here, that you need to tell her, but leave it a little bit. I'd make sure you phone her when she's at home so she can have a good cry afterwards without having to keep on a brave face for anyone. Of course she'll be happy for you, but all talk and thought of babies will be hard for her for a good while yet.

Yukana I don't know anything about eating disorders, but I do know that even in women with poor nutrition (ie third world/famine etc) babies are usually born healthy, so don't beat yourself up too much if you can't manage a proper meal IYSWIM. The baby will get the nutrients before you, so that might be contributing to you not feeling great. Definitely worth getting some help though if only so you can stop feeling guilty.

Lozza I'm really sorry for you and your friend, but I'm sure you did the right thing giving her a little space.

I think I've been feeling movement too the last couple of days (13+1) but it seemed quite high up and I'm sure it should be lower down, so still not sure.

My sister is getting married in NZ in July and is arranging a blessing on 3 Septmember. My EDD is 20/8 according to scan, but 26/8 according to my dates, so I've had to tell her that I'm not sure I'll be able to make it. I'll do my best, but I'm not going to put pressure on myself! She's really disappointed, but you'd think she'd understand as she's a MW!! No kids yet though

Thanks everyone, I will definitely be telling her myself in a couple of weeks when she is at home and will make sure no mutual friends know in the meantime. I just feel so sad for her and hate to add to her grief in any way. I know she'll be happy for me but sad that we couldn't share the special time, I'm going to be a reminder.... She is hoping to get pg soon (after one cycle) so hopefully she will be before my DC3 arrives and will therefore have her own excitement to look forward to again. It is never the same though once you've had a mc, it really put a dampner on the first few weeks of every pg for me.

On a positive note, I too have felt the baby moving over the last few days. I'm 13+6 today. It's lovely and reassurring too.

Hello ladies, my phone broke so i have been awol. Anyway yukana I agree with others, I have suffered myself and it's an all consuming disease which u will be well free of. Pregnancy can bring back deamonds from your past sometimes

I have some amazing news, i am engaged! Dp proposed on one knee with our dd asking me to join the vidic family. He sealed the deal with a hula hoop and then took me shopping for a ring! I feel so happy! We have ordered a ring so I can't wait to flash some bling

Evenin Ladies,

Just wanted to touch base and say Hi, you have been very busy talking!

Caddy so sorry to hear your news, take care x x

Time seems to be dragging for me at the moment, I can't wait till the 20 week scan and to have a proper bump too. Put on 10 pounds so far!!! I have always been a glutton when it comes to food and the only thing that has calmed the nausea is food... oh well, put on 4 stone last tim and lost it all plus another halfa stone so trying not to worry. i'll be at weight watchers by the middle of september and once i start im normally very good.

Anyone think they know the gender yet? i have a strong feeling,but know that its not reliable! having said that i just knew my first was a boy. sorry for lack ofcapitals and poor typing skills got an 18 months old wriggler on my lap and its been a one handed type

ttfn x x

Congratulations MrsVidic cheers

Just wanted to add take good care yukana, my weight has yo yoed quite a bit in the past but ive never had an eating disorder but i know it can be all consuming. Be kind to yourself honey x

Mrs V thats so romantic! Big congratulations!

My date has changed to 10th August, i have updated the seperate thread but not sure if i need to do anything else?

Congrats MrsV!

CONGRATULATIONS MrsVidic !!! What lovely news!! You must be absolutely on Cloud 9 right now. Such an exciting time. YAY for you! :)

Thank you guys I am so happy, just still sinking in. We were in the jewlers and she said if I order the ring you may have a wait. I was sat next to Dp who as holding dd and aid "I'm 15 weeks preg with our second child I'm very patient" and we all laughed

Aw mrsV congratulations! When are you thinking of getting married?
Lets crack open some more !

tractor I'm thinking boy, because I've previously had one of each and my cravings are more similar to my boy cravings. I carried DD very high, and DS much lower, so I might change my mind again by month 8!

Fab news, MrsV - very exciting. Good to get the ring sized now before your hands swell up too rather than later.

Congrats MrsV, how fab - did you eat the hula hoop?

Yukana - your DP sounds great so lean on him - lots. Maybe for now treat it like a chore, write a list of how many little, plain bits you're going to eat a day and tick them off like a job? Sounds odd I know and someone professional will help much more. The worst thing would be to stress too much about it, just seek help and take lots of reassurance from all here.

Ah, want to feel wriggles and feel less sick after reading these posts!
How have most people told others and when do you tell a younger child? I'm getting mixed advice but DD1 is almost 4 and is watching how much I eat due to unsightly fat / bump / loose muscles!

morning We're going to tell our 3 (nearly 4yo) and 2yo once we've had a scan and know everything's ok. I don't want other people saying to them "ooh you're going to be a big brother/sister" and them not knowing what's being talked about.
DS went to bed with a muslin, aka "a baby" up his pjs tonight...maybe he knows something?!

mm,

we've told DS (5) there's a baby in my tummy, (mostly as he kept asking with a few other mums having children at the school etc) he wanted to look & see (bless) and now he's asking if I'll shrink cos the baby is eating all the food in my tummy (something I think he's surmised from when he was at nursery & the ladies were expecting) anyhow, he's asking questions, which we're answering as simply as we can atm. I guess tbh it depends on how aware/understanding etc your LO is.

have had major wind today, feel really awful as had a bad weekend with DP (well good sat awful fri) v stressful, roll on scan next monday, atm I have pains by my waist - not good, but I think it's too high up to be anything to worry about.

Thanks - DD's 4th birthday party is at the beginning of March and I have this image of cooing mummies making her wonder - she's v clued up just v impatient too and we're moving house so she's moving nursery, etc, etc - too much for a little one or just get it over with? Hmm.

I think i'd be inclied to space it out a little. with DS we have the baby coming, DP moving in and XH changing his contact arrangements all this side of the summer, so we're trying to do it all very gently with him as he's quite sensitive, how's your DD usually - is she a sensitive soul - I know for DS to have 3 major changes in the space of a few weeks would be far too much.

Congratulations Mrs Vidic :o

I don't have these worries about when to tell DS, he doesn't even know what a baby is yet :o

Well she knows about the move, and has done for ages, but I'm not sure she really has her head round it yet, despite being able to happily check out a new nursery, etc. We'll move mid-March hopefully so it's either tell her soon to give space before we pack up or wait until we've settled in.
She is remarkably good at coping usually but then we haven't done anything this major before ha ha!

Forgot to mention this, I surpassed myself in the emotional stakes last night, I managed to cry at a clip in You've Been Framed, and not with laughter!