Charters Anonymous Graduates – No more temping!

[GetDownYouWillFall]

Hello ladies ? bit nerve wracking moving over to ante natal but thought I?d be brave! Here?s to a trouble free 8 or so months for us all! And hoping lots more of us move over very soon.

Step away from your thermometers ladies. That way madness lies.

Sits back. Feels a bit lonely. Waits for others.

nix that sounds tough, wishing you lots of energy!

GetDown lovely on the kicks front. For the first couple of weeks I only felt anything in the evening too. Still get most of the movement in the evening and just the odd gentle kick/turn earlier in the day.

pippa sounds like an excellent plan to prepare for birth in as many ways as possible. I figure that it's like having a tool box and the more tools you've got to try the better
I suppose I'm also mindful that there are only so many drug options and I'm aware that they don't all work well for everyone. And if G&A has me puking everywhere for example, I'd like to have other ways of coping to try and get me a bit further on before hitting anything heavier.
I recommend the book "birth skills" by Juju Sundin, lots of ideas in there for managing pain. (Disclaimer: I have not yet tried any of these ideas out yet!)
Best wishes for your 16 week appointment, hope your mw will listen in for you, I expect they will by this stage.

Today... I have booked my maternity leave! 4th July is my first day of ML
And DH felt his first kick this evening His face

pippa glad you are on school hols now and can relax a bit. I am doing a holiday club this week so am having an opposite of school holidays, but loving it, lots of fun!

I had my 16 week appt last week and the MW listened for the heart beat, I'm sure they will at yours. I think it's fairly standard at the 16-weeker. I am 17 weeks this week, 18 weeks on wednesday (according to my scan, on sunday according to my chart ). pippa you and I are quite close together. I'm sure you will start feeling things soon, but remember I've had a wiggler in there before and they say you feel it sooner second time round It's very very light so easy to miss at this stage.

spilt thanks re. the movement - it's weird to feel it more in the evening isn't it? I am feeling a few little squiggles just now actually! I think with the birth, it's best to keep an open mind. I was totally shocked by how painful it was - I never expected to go the whole hogg and end up begging for an epidural, but there we are, it happened! You just have to cope as best you can. I am a bit skeptical about the hypnobirthing, but I have a friend who it worked for. I suppose it depends how strong your mind can be at blocking out pain - in my case, not very!!

Glad you've booked your ML - have you got any A/L to take that you can tack on to the beginning? Great that your DH felt his first kick - that is lovely.

GD my theory is that I have a nocturnal baby. She starts moving at dinnertime and carries on for most of the evening, and I often feel movement if I wake up in the night. That's going to make for some fun early weeks/months until we introduce her to the concept of daylight!

Yes I've got 3 weeks A/L to take first so actually I will be finished by Friday 10th June. So at about 30 weeks. It feels a bit lazy but I don't really care!

As you say about the birth, you've got to take it as it comes, I just want to have as many options/things to try as possible. I knew nothing last time and it was quite frightening to feel I didn't know what was coming or how to manage it.

I was baffled by my first experience of labour - contractions weren't at all as I expected. For one thing I didn't really get breaks between the blasted things , which may have been a feature of the induction drugs I had. They just went from quite painful to take-over-my-brain-painful to quite painful. I was scared because I didn't know how bad it might get and how quickly, or how long it would take to get drugs if I really really needed them so I opted for injected painkillers when I thought I'd had all I could take of the pain. As it was, things had reached a peak and got no worse and I delivered within 20 mins. With hindsight, for that labour, I didn't need the drugs I did have. I was cross with myself for having had them because they made me so dopey afterwards in the short time we actually got with Bobbie.
In some ways though that experience encourages me because I feel I have a better idea of what to expect from labour and consequently more confidence to face it with. I'm fully aware that I know nothing whatsoever of the pushing stage as she was so small she just slipped out, so that part will probably be an almighty shock. And I imagine that a long labour is a very very different beast to the 3 hour job I had. Likewise a posterior one etc. Also I had none of the stress of worrying about fetal distress.

So I'm trying not to be naive, but also trying to think positive and prepare myself as best I can. Even if none of these skills/methods etc make a jot of difference I think the preparation will keep me calmer approaching the birth which can only be a good thing.

Hi All. Sorry i completely dissapeared. have still been reading but just feel so tired so been very lazy. Thought the energy re-appeared around 12 weeks??? im 15 (14 by my count tho) and for the last few weeks i have started to feel v tired. ah well :)

How did your appt go getdown? and yey on the kicks! i cant wait to feel some kicks.

OOh Pippa bet you are happy to have a few days off, hope you enjoyed the sunshine ad have had plenty of rest.

Split I bet you are happy you have booked your ML! July isnt too far away :) And Eek to Having yourself a little one who nocturnal lol!

I have today off as i had to wait for someone to come and look at my patio doors. i was up at 7:30, back in bed by 9am and up at 12pm!

Have any of you heard of this 'nub theory' for guessing the sex of your little one? I have been reading up on it and looking at my 12 week scan im guessing my little one is a boy.. I asked a few people to guess and i have had 9 boy guesses and 5 girl guesses. Cant wait for the 20 weeker on 18 May lol.

Big hugs and waves to everyone else, and sorry ive only name checked this page (lazy cow) xx

Thanks for asking Iwish

the appointment with the consultant went ok, but not exactly how we'd expected.

Led to believe by the midwife that basically because I had such a horrific time last time, I would have the option of an ELCS if I wanted it.

DH very much wanted to go that route, I was not so sure but could be persuaded.

Anyway, the consultant was VERY against ELCS - kept saying it would be easier second time, the problems I had first time would not likely happen again, I was just as likely to get incontinence with a c-section as with a VB Not sure about that one!! And also that PND is more likely after a c-section. So basically it was a big fat NO to the c-section.

I feel ok about it, but DH is a bit devastated. I think he likes to feel in control and he hated witnessing all the distress I went through last time Poor thing, I think he is more worried than me!

The consultant said to make an appt with the consultant midwife - who apparently is the expert in "normal" deliveries. So I ring today, and the EARLIEST they can offer me is 19th August!!!!! I will be 36 weeks by then! Was kind of hoping to be able to do some planning before then, esp since DD arrived at 38 weeks! Ah well.

Also - am a bit gutted as am going to a different hospital this time from where I had DD. Have heard it has a really good reputation, but when we got there I didn't like it ! The parking was hideous, and the building itself was really grotty. Plus we had to wait over 45 mins to be seen, and the waiting room was packed with not very nice people!! Don't know what to do now.... Don't feel I can change hospitals.

Oh GetDown that sounds quite crappy and a lot to get your head round. Your poor DH too. It must be so horrible for them to have to watch all the distress and pain and not be able to help. It's shocking that you can't see anyone until August too, totally ridiculous!
Do you have any other hospitals in your area that you could consider?

iwish I know what you mean on the knackered after 12 weeks part. I found the tiredness got progressively worse from 12 weeks onwards until they started me on the blessed thyroxine at about 18 weeks . So if I was you I would get your thyroid bloods done again incase you need your dose upped.

Oh Getdown that does sound rubbish. you would think that considering how you felt last time they would give you the option. I agree with Split can you not look for another hospital? if you arent happy with that one now you should also have the option to change.

Split I had my thyroid levels checked last week and the consultant is very happy with the levels so maybe bubba is just draining all my energy lol. Those talets are amazing arent they. They upped my dose 10 weeks ish from 50mcg to 75mcg.
I will mention it to my midwife if im still as tired at my 16 week appt (which is atually at 17 week) Think i just need some time off work. I have 11 days off over easter - woohoo!

Getdown that sounds a bit crap. You have the right to get the birth you want, although I suppose an ELCS doesn't fall into that category. Are you brave enough to demand a 2nd opinion? You simply cannot wait until 36 weeks to see a senior mw - if DH is devastated, can you get him to be the brave one and do some jumping up and down on your behalf - ie demanding to discuss this further?
And, yes, you can change hospitals whenever you like, within reason. Can you discuss it further with your local mw?

Nix is it you that works FT, incl 2 days a wk in bristol and already has DS? Am impressed. How do you manage working 2 days in Bristol with a LO? I live just outside Cheshire on the Nwales border, and have travelled to Bristol - one helluva commute!

Peppa Pig world was fab. It's at Poultons Park nr Southampton. A long drive for us so we stayed 2 nights and took MIL for backup!

Thanks guys, I do feel a bit by it all, surely not seeing the consultant MW till 36 weeks is just not good enough? I am not very good at being assertive though and surely if there really are no other appointments, I don't have much choice (although I suppose I could ask to be on a list in case of any cancellation?)

I am a bit shocked that ELCS seems out of the question round here. Particularly as both the mother and baby psychiatrist and the MW at my booking in seemed to think it would be a good option for me.

It does scare me the thought of another hideous VB but strangely I also feel that it could be quite a healing experience if it goes well, so am also feeling quite positive. Probably still in denial as it's so far away!

I just don't know re. changing hospitals. There are 3 that I could go to. The nearest is where I had DD, and I just don't want to go back there because of memories of last time (this was also the same hospital where i was in the mental health unit with PND for 3 months, so also bad associations). The second nearest is in a different county, and could cause problems re. communication between the different NHS trusts. And the 3rd one is where I have booked, but my first impressions yesterday were not great! Oh dear.

spilt hope you are having some good days again and are feeling ok. How is work, is there still a bit of an atmosphere after all the talk of cuts / reorganisation?

iwish sorry you are feeling so shattered, hope you can get early nights and look after yourself as much as possible. It is draining having a little passenger who sucks our blood / oxygen / iron / food No wonder we all feel knackered! Glad you've got some time off coming up.

Thanks Mrsa I think DH would stick up for me and do the jumping up and down, but unfortunately he is mega busy at work at the moment, and hardly has time to send a text let alone get stuck on the phone in some maddening hospital switchboard system! We do have another appt with the consultant at 28 weeks so at least we will get to discuss things a bit further then. Although, as the consultant himself pointed out - he is the expert in "intervention", whereast the consultant MW is the expert in "normal births".

Thanks re. Peppa Pig world. Sadly I think it's a bit far for us too without staying overnight. Although, we are going to Isle of Wight in July so maybe I could persuade DH to do a day trip???

Know what you mean about assertiveness GetDown. I am rubbish. It's so easy to get irate for someone else and tell them to make a fuss but bloody hard to make said fuss when you feel all vulnerable and like you don't want to piss off people who your's and your baby's life depends on. Can you see the first MW again (the booking one) and see if they can advise/make recommendations for you?

I've been having some better days, thanks for asking. I got a bit shirty tonight as we'd emailed some friends to let them know the 20 week scan went well and one replied to say how pleased she was to hear that and we have to now face the scary idea of being parents soon... I know the spirit it was meant in, but the notion that we aren't parents yet really pisses me off. Because it implies that Bobbie's life didn't count, and also that this baby doesn't make me a mum either because she's on the inside not the outside. So I thought about it for a while and then replied with: "But we are parents already and this is our second child. We already have a daughter. The fact that she died doesn't make her any less loved, any less ours or any less real."

Work is dull as something very very dull. I have almost nothing to do and am frittering away the hours and marking off the days. 8 weeks and 2 days until I start A/L... I have a new boss who seems very nice and organised (novel, as my past boss was somewhat lax about anything paperworky/HR ish). New boss has set up a folder with printouts of all the maternity information from HR and copies of all forms etc we've completed! It reassures me that things will all get sorted in time.

Sorry to hear it wasn't great at the consultants, Getdown. Have you thought about a Home birth at all? I know it is almost completely opposite from what you were thinking about but I think it could be very cathartic for you. Especially with an understanding doula as well. Something else to consider anyway.

Anyone else itchy/restless in the evenings. It's driving me mad. As soon as I sit down I feel like I have got ants crawling all over me and I can't sit still. It is horrible.

On the plus side we sold our house today! Full asking price too. Couldn't be happier - just got to make our minds up on the house to buy at the weekend. Then fingers crossed we will be away.

Oh spilt I am so sorry about your insensitive friend That must have felt quite hurtful when you read it. Of course you are parents already, and of course Bobbie really existed and was loved. Also you are totally right that just because your second baby is on the inside still, doesn't make you any less of a mummy. I suppose, hard as it is, there are some people that just don't "get" it until, unfortunately, they have experienced something similar themselves. Perhaps the only way we can deal with it is to gently educate them, which sounds like you did with your reply.

Also sorry to hear work is rubbish - sounds exactly like mine was - very little to do, winding down, not being given more work because they all knew I was leaving. It was a crap place to be. Honestly, those weeks will whizz by. At least you've got a decent manager now who seems to be doing things properly by you.

You are totally right re. the assertiveness thing - I am hopeless. Very easy to see what someone else in my shoes should do, but you hit the nail on the head when you said "not wanting to piss off people who yours and your baby's life depends on". That's it entirely. I know they are professionals but they are also human, and you can't help but wonder if they get pissed off with people that insist on things their way! I just can't do it.

Hi there LadyGG - YES! Me too! I am really really itchy in the evenings at the moment! Weird or what?!!

Happy due date bessie

That should be happy due date today bessie! (can't count or read or something!)

Hola, i did post earlier in the week but its not on here, strange!

All ok at chez nicks, tons of movement all day just extremely exhausted with DH working away. Working FT, staying on top of the house/meals/bedtimes/ spending time with DS is taking its toll, and its only wk 1 Thankful i can work from home or i would be the walking dead i think! DH home later tonight so that will be lovely, have missed him surprisingly even though i have enjoyed my own space Its been good for me and DS also

Proper catch up soon i promise
and for all, much love xx

thanks spilt - I am now 40+2 and am definitely ready for this baby to make an appearance!

Hope everyone else is keeping well?

ladyggg Although itchy skin is really common (due to all the stretching) it can sometimes be a sign of a problem with your liver, so it's prob worth mentioning to your midwife. I only know about this coz a friend had it, her & baby were fine, I think they just needed to keep an eye on her liver function

Thanks Bessie. Have had it since quite early on so they don't think is OC - mentioned it to the Consultant at 16 weeks. I wonder whether it might be especially bad right now as hayfever season is starting? Have another Consultant appt tomorrow so will prob mention it again. Good luck with your baby - hope it decides to put in an appearance soon!

I'm up fretting. Fretted all day yesterday as baby seemed quiet. But I think is fine, was just in an odd position. I hate all the worrying. Got a growth scan tomorrow so should see if the wee one is all ok in there and placenta doing its job still etc. I am absolutely huge so would be surprised if it wasn't growing well TBH. Feel like have been pregnant forever already - think poss because should have been my due date this month. I should be on maternity leave right now.

Nix I feel tired just reading your post, are your family nearby at all? Wonder whether they could help you a bit while DH is working away?

Hope everyone else is well. Fred has been a bit quiet lately. Hope that's because everyone is fine and dandy and no probs to report.

Got to take DS to a birthday party today - he's dressing up as Buzz. He looks sooo cute, bless him

Congrats to nix on reaching 24 weeks, viability and guaranteed mat leave today! Hope you get 5 mins to have a rest before the week starts all over again...

Lady thank goodness you have a scan tomorrow to put your mind at rest, the worrying is horrendous. Does your baby have a regular pattern of movement now? Hope your DS has a lovely time at the party!

I had a crappy day on Friday, baby seemed really quiet and I couldn't seem to get her to wake up. I spent hours of the day sat at my desk pressing my stomach, drinking hot chocolate and then having a cry as I was so stressed and frightened. She did perk up eventually, but the movements felt very "internal" and muffled so I think she must have been hiding properly behind the placenta. We spent quite a while with the doppler in the evening listening to her heartbeat, and the placenta and everything seems normal. She's bouncing around more now anyway. So stressful.

I don't know what/if anything they would do if you phoned about reduced fetal movements at 22 weeks? The baby hasn't a chance of survival if delivered, so all they would do presumably is wait and watch and hope?

I am especially crapping myself about the possibility of losing her in the next 2 weeks and having yet another torturous experience of delivering a baby that gets recorded as a miscarriage and feeling guilty about not getting back to work in 4-6 weeks and having stupid tw*ts making more stupid comments about moving on, these things happen, nature's way etc. Losing another would destroy me. The safety net of ML after 24 weeks will help me breathe a bit again I hope, but doesn't take away the fear.

Not sure, Spilt. Sometimes they out put on bedrest and things like that - would depend what the problem was I suppose. I think at the very least they monitor you on a trace for half an hour which should set your mind at rest. I think baby had turned breech yesterday with its feet going inwards so I could only feel tiny movements low down. Seems different again today. We are 26 weeks today so there would be chance of survival if they had to deliver . Aaaagh, got to stop being so paranoid. My mum had a stillborn at full term so i always worry until I have baby in my arms.

Anyway your baby will be fine, Spilt. Seems like the Toxo not causing the problems that it did last time so completely different situation this time round. I know it doesn't stop you worrying though. I find that cold, fizzy drinks have the best effect at waking babies up.

Is anyone else experiencing palpitations? That's another thing that has been worrying me. Will mention is to Dr tomorrow but Dr Google seems to think is fairly normal in pregnancy. Scary though as heart starts beating really fast and irregularly.

DS had a lovely time at his party although the Buzz outfit lasted about 30 seconds before he took it off (literally). Hey, ho.

Lady mums been a trooper really, she already has DS for me on a tuesday, together wiht my 2 nephews so am reticent to ask for more. She is staying the night on tuesday this week and taking DS to pre-school as i have a very early meeting in bristol on wed - so will take advantage and go down tuesday aft. DH came home this weekend but it seemed very rushed.... so much to do! This thursday we are heading down there for the easter break so it will be fab and i will get a chance to relax. PArents are also coming to stay for a couple of days to help me out down there on the days DH has to work. Hope for more of the same fab weather as the flats right by the sea It will get better, not been helped by us being away for the last 2 weekends so house has been a shit tip, and the client that i account manage at work has been particularly arsy giving me lots of additional problems ...but i am getting time to put up my feet. Thebeauty of my job is that i can loll on the sofa with craptop and work without getting toooooo stressy!

Spilt thanks hon, viability is great feeling not long for you now too. Bambino keeps burrowing so deeply in my pelvis its painful... and booting me in the fanjo! Getting lots of movement really, but today have been busy cooking so not noticed so much. Try an ice cream or ice cold fizzy drink to see if that helps... am sure with both you and lady there is no problem. LG i am also huge... I think we talk about viability at 24 weeks, but thats the minimum gest age that hospitals will rescusitate, 28 weeks is preemie viability i think. (Next hurdle!) LG you are very nearly there my lovely, all will be fine am sure xxx Spilt you are very near to 24 weeks, will be here before you know it. You will give birth to a healthy baby xx

Are your palpitations more a tightness of chest Lady? I found i had to use an inhaler last pg and it really helped. The only way i can sleep at the min is in a draft...fan, window, you name it!! Cannot get comfy, surrounded by pillows in bed and still just cant get into sleep mode :( baby is so low in pelvis it hurts!

Missing DH already. Hes had some lovely QT with DS though... big boy lego :) but bless him he didnt stop in the veyr short time he was home :(... still wont let me hoover which is great.... but not so good when hes not here ... wonder if dad will oblige on tuesday

hope you are enjoying the gloriious weather xx

Whats with all the bold then!?

spilt I noticed reduced movements the other day, phoned MW, who told me to phone hospital who got me to go in & be monitored. They were all very very nice to me and didn't make me feel like a numpty who was wasting their time even though baby was obviously wriggling like a nutter during the whole thing!
They told me that you need to feel at least 7 movements a day, but that if I noticed a change in movements again I am to go back for more monitoring.

Phone your MW in the morning if you're still worried, I'm sure they will be more than happy to put your mind at rest

xx

No, Nix. It's like my heart starts beating really fast and loudly and then starts beating irregularly. Bit scary. The other day it happened while I was listening in to baby and the doppler so I listened into my heartbeat and was all over the place - fast, fast, slow, fast, miss beat, slow, fast. Only lasts a few minutes.

Hope time flies til your DH home again.

Nice to hear they were kind and understanding and took your concerns seriously, Bessie.

Anyone heard from Terrys? she's gone very quiet. Hope all is well.

lady have you ever had it checked out? Maybe its worth getting someone to take a look xx

I try to go for about 10 movements a day... or rather at ten different times of the day :) useful to know about the monitoring though :) xx

Night x