The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Snort, Romeo.

Now, now LadyG...'hubby is Italiano, I'm guessing from his first name!

Unfortunately, Cojones refused to relinquish his keys so I only succeeded in making him drive after 4 pints instead of 5. That is assuming he went home and didn't just go find some other friends to be a dickead with. Whatevs, I agree drink driving aint a joke, which is why I got so pissed off (lad at my school got killed by a 'friend' when he was walking back from the party they had all been to, driver had decided not to leave his car after all and lost control, very sad :()

score i don't think i should download that episode as just you describing it has made me well up. Damn hormones!

Right off to see midwife!!!!

I know, I know. But just hope he doesn't go to a comp is all...and also that he didn't hit all of the branches on the ugly tree on way down.

Interesting that she feared the impact of carrying a cake yet neglected to think through the potentially long lasting psychological damage of bearing that name. But I suppose it's character forming...

Sorry peeps, I am a bitch today. Feel free to tie me up and leave me in the corner.

Sorry you're feling shite GG - I've been struck down too. Bloody kids! Have already taken 2 days off work this week to look after the child (fever, snot and phlegm) and now I've got it too so also going to miss the Xmas work do tomorrow. WHO IS GOING TO LOOK AFTER ME?? Moan moan moan.

Cho my first came 11 days early!

Great scan news Milano and good luck on Monday BiteMe

Cho I think it was a combination of things - head is fully engaged and ready to drop (tends to happen much later and closer to labour in second babies), I had a sudden burst of energy and it was the first time in months I'd felt physically able to do any cleaning so wanted to make the most of it, and the nesting instinct kicked in at the same time. Plus the house hadn't been cleaned in a couple weeks and once it is done and up together it doesn't take much to keep it clean and tidy (especially if I ban TG from the kitchen). Also, just because Boo was late, doesn't necessarily follow that the second will be - baybee could have basically have turned up any time between about a week ago, to around 6 Jan. Also, I am just a control freak Virgo.

Half way through already Scorps... Eek!

Well I am destined never to meet Deirdre, she's on holiday but her cover was lovely. Totally forgot to take my notes with me DUUURRH but she didn't seem worried as its all on computer anyway. BP fine, measuring bang on 16 weeks and heart beat fine. Was soooo lovely to hear the heart beat. Better than the first scan if you ask me! Bit of sugar in my wee and i haven't eaten anything sweet unless you count beetroot but hoping thats just an anomaly because seriously cant be arsed with having GD as well.

Mentioned the gallstones and she proceeded to tell me about a women she had who had a nightmare with gallstones, had her gallbladder removed after 1st baby and then discovered she had a gallstone lodged in her bowel during her 2nd. Thanks for that!!! WHy do people feel the need to tell you this shit? lalalalalala.

yey for halfway point score although I hope your calculation is flawed as by that logic I will be 2 weeks over due and breach!

Cheers, geezers :)

May I have a rant about my Mum? I have confided in her what preference me and TYF re: the baby's sex BUT swore her and Dad to secrecy as everyone used to be immensely tactless to my brother when we were little because they knew my parents wanted another girl and it used to reduce him to tears and he even used to insist on wearing my old dresses, etc., because he thought if he became a little girl, everyone would love him more. Mum know how much it devastated him (my folks told him people were mistaken and they wanted a boy, to their credit) and knows that it is a big bee in my bonnet that no-one must know my preference because of this, but she has told everyone possible now what sex I want because she can't keep her bloody gob shut because she is a people-pleaser and she cannot grasp the concept that just because someone might ask her what sex I'd prefer, that doesn't mean she has to actually tell them, FFS

The main culprits in upsetting my bro were Uncle and Auntie Tactless, and guess who I've just had on the phone telling me how my Mum has been talking to them about how I really want a little ? It's made me sob my heart out at the thought of my own child potentially ever having to go through that shit and also because if the baby isn't the preferred flavour, I don't want a single person to think that I am disappointed with my baby - because I won't be. The preference isn't strong or important and above everything, we just want a happy, healthy child - nothing else matters. As she was a fucking counsellor, you'd think she was capable of keeping a bloody secret. I shouldn't've bloody told her.

I know she's only dong it because she's so excited, but she's taking over a bit and becoming Granzilla. I have to constantly very nicely stop her being incredibly smothering with me and I see I'm going to have to keep that up with my own child

GAAAH! Am off to read Larkin now, mutter, grumble...

score just reply, "oh that was LAST week, this week we want a you know how it is, next week it will be a again! We REALLY can't make our minds up!" Hopefully that will confused them so much that by the time the baby comes the won't remember which was which.

Is tough tho, your mum is just over excited and its nice that you can see her motivation but must be frustrating for you. And your poor bro!

Mum's just rung me to apologise. Humphhhh.

That is annoying Scorps. I fear the solution is not to say anything, and loudly proclaim to others that mother is mistaken and you don't care what you have. Or tell them you're hoping it's a kitten/puppy/iguana.

I would advise not discussing any of the following with family: gender preferences, name preferences, feeding preferences, sleeping arrangements, routines, suitable clothing, schools, working/not working, where you live, etc.

It leads to a much happier life.

I didn't mind her telling her friends or random distant relatives so much (annoying but meh) but it was imperative that she didn't tell the Tactless Ones. If baybee is not preference and people comment, I'll just tell them that I have got my preference and that my Mum was mistaken (she can be fairly dippy - she's got into into her head that we like the names Dolly and Ivan, for some bizarre reason - those names have never, ever been mentioned, never mind considered!). I'm so bloody secretive and private in RL that I dunno if AIBU or not!

See, I need a rant and then I am totally calmed down and logical

X-post, Muse! She overheard me and TYF discussing one baby name choice and then blurted out to my Gran and Aunt that that's what we'd call the baby if it was a , and I had to have Stern Words then, so aaaaargh! Total Granzilla, but I love the bloody woman.

score I have to say, I would be absolutely FURIOUS. Apology or not, I think you should let her know how you feel and put it in no uncertain terms that if she lets you down like that again you will stop telling her anything as the lovely (and much more rational) muse says.

You are sharing your thoughts with her as a special person in your life. She does NOT get to decide how she uses this information. Excited or not, it's not on.

When the boy child was a baby and I was having a nap my Mum took him out for a walk without telling me and when I woke up he wasn't there. When she got back we had words. She knew she'd overstepped the mark, and never did it again....

Hmm, control freak much MsFC??!!

My mum has offered to come and stay for the 'regulation' two weeks after the birth. She seems to think this is the done thing and I guess that's what she must have done with my sister. I love my mum but AIBU to think this might be a bit intrusive or by that point will I just be grateful for the help? She is amazing and very practical so will probably just be very useful but I am a bit worried that she might also be a bit in our faces in our little house, after all TB will only have 2 weeks paternity so we won't have that time to bond as a little unit. I am probably over thinking this right and should just accept whatever help I am offered?

You know, I think for a lot of new grandmas they have trouble dealing with the concept that 'mother knows best' no longer applies to them!

Rocket, why not just be honest and ask her to come and stay after paternity leave...tell her you have precious time to bond as a threesome, and you will need her more when you are on your own.

That's what I am doing, although might suggest parent and in laws do quick overnight visit while the boyf is off, as they will no doubt be eager to see new baby, and hopefully well be mad keen to show the baby off!

Thank you cho that's such a good idea. I know they will want to come up and see the baby straight away but then she could come on her own a few weeks later to stay for a bit. Why didn't I think of that!

Rocket, that offer is tempting in terms of how scary and tiring those first few weeks will inevitably be, but I would offer a grateful 'thanks but no thanks'. It'll just set up a precedent - but I might be saying this because my own Mum has boundary ishoos (in case you'd not guessed!). Cho's advice is perfick.

FC, this is a lifelong pattern with my mum. She is such a loving, caring, considerate mother in most ways but she is such a pathological people-pleaser that she will tell people things she has been told are secret just to make the person she is currently talking to happy/make them feel part of things.

Although I'm blurty, etc., on the interwebs, I hold everyone at arms length in RL and cut myself off from people because I feel 'invaded' so easily and I realise it's cos of this (there's so much more to it!).

Blahblah, Mas, get laying and take my attention off my own crap!

Good call cho, when I had the boy child my Mum came for the first two weeks and the the H took the following two, so that we had set up a routine. TBH, she WAS invaluable, as I was pretty immobile after my section, and she did all the housework and cooking and baby watching when I was sleeping.

But I don't think I would do that again. I had to hand over complete control to Mum and I felt like she was in charge of everything, including guest entertainment. I guess we both have control issues!!

I think I am going to wait until closer the time and see how it pans out. If the gallstones DO kick off I might be feeling quite poorly and be gratefully for all the help I can get! My mum is actually very unobtrusive when she is here but just gets on with washing up etc. I know my sister relies on her a lot to help out even now but we are quite different in that respect and I am much more independent. Good idea for TB to maybe take his leave later although I was assuming he would be just as knackered as I am and also if mum is here won't be able to sleep in the spare room. The other thing is that I think he will probably extend his PL with some annual leave as the uni will be closed by then so its a good time for him to be off. will just have to see.

My mum offered the same rocket, but I live in a 1.5 bedroom flat and there is no way I wouldn't kill her. If I had a proper house with space I'd maybe consider her coming to stay after TBG had gone back to work. As it is, no it will not work.

My SIL got lots of help from TBG's parents as they live not far away from her and I know she found it invaluable. But it very much depends on the relationship you have with your ma I think. I don't have as close a relationship with mine as my SILs' do with theirs. So what works for them would not work for me.

The only overnight visitor I'm allowing, due to our space issues, is my dad. My mum lives close enough that she doesn't need to stay over (but far enough away that she can't just drop by). My in-laws can afford a damn hotel. My dad lives miles and miles away and does not require entertaining when he is here. Plus he's good at fixing stuff, so I can point him at odd jobs.