The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.


Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

[ginhag]

Is it weird that I am convinced this baby is coming early? Especially considering that mooch was 2 weeks late, induced, and still didn't come out? I have just felt sure of this for aaaaages. Maybe is extreme wishful thinking as it appears that is the only way I am going to be out of stupid bastard pain (chiro n physio haven't been able to do much and I hate taking codeine while pg...)

Blah blah blah mememe.

Where's poopy??? (not you Aries the other one )

[PerfectDromedary]

Also, PB - shurely that would be a PESHchair club?

[ginhag]

boo I would rather be in a tequila club. Or jelly wrestling. Or, I dunno (surveys belly) darts maybe....

[ginhag]

I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED!!! Someone fetch a winch...

Excited about your bathrooms cam. I think you should keep the headfuck backward-taps tho :)

Mr gin and my dad fixed our bathroom in the end. Not as fancy as it was gonna be, but it looks lufferly. I can have gorgeous candle lit baths again...it was never the same with half the floor, side of bath, and loads of plaster missing!

[Muser]

Hope all your stuff gets sorted soon Drom, it would be driving me crazy too. 2 weeks until we get are new carpets and lino. I need to declutter a lot before that point so the poor carpet fitters actually have room to work.

I do not really want to be in a Bugaboo club either, as it sounds very wanky. It was merely humour. The brand was the last thing on my mind when we bought it, it was small and light and faced me. Nothing else seemed appropriate.

You may not be able to get out of bed gin but I cannot get off the sofa. Must get showered, put laundry on, and go out and buy some food. All I have in the house is cookies, not exactly a healthy diet.

[PerfectDromedary]

COOKIES!

I am at work. As you can tell from the cluster-posting, I am not working.

Gin Counter-intuitive taps are gone, along with everything else in the bathroom. New bathrooms are pretty, but the builders started work mid-November. HOW ARE THEY STILL NOT FINISHED?

And Muse - I remember posting re: Bugaboo Bee in a fit of self-righteousness that I was definitely not going to have one. Apparently I lied. Am buying for the same reasons as you, especially the front-facing and the getting on and off public transport.

[rocketleaf]

We might get a bugaboo as I like the flexibility etc. but this is mainly TBs choice, I am not that arsed but apparently he has done 'his research' I have told him if he would like to pay for it then sweet. Probably get one off ebay tho to save some beans. I think I prefer the Mutsy but that even more ridiculously expensive. Gah. Might just fashion something from a stolen shopping trolley and an orange crate. What?

I need to crack on with decluttering too but have an overwhelming urge to stay in bed reading, oh well its not like I have much on next week so might as well prevaricate for a bit longer.

Jelly wrestling club sounds good...

[Scorpette]

[ginhag]

Feb has 28 days in a normal year you nana :)

[rocketleaf]

score you DO need to go back to bed, Feb has 29 days in a leap year, I know this because my dads b'day is on the 28th and he is not 18 years old ;-)

[ginhag]

Ps I did know The Club was not to be taken seriously, I just got scared of discussing it in any context as I have a lot of scarring experiences regarding my position as a slummy mummy in a sea of yummy mummies round 'yer.

Plus, I quite like the idea of jelly wrestling :)

[Ivegotmrbitey]

Hello, sorry to hear about all the poorliness and hope you're on the mend?

lovely scan news foxylady must be so nice and reassuring to see the baybee in there!

I saw my midwife today and luff her muchly, told her family history of nephew's CDH and also how both mother and sister had bad births and she stopped doing my booking in stuff, rang epu and fibbed until they agreed to scan me next Tuesday. She said I'd be waiting weeks for a regular scan and the anxiety was doing me no good at all. She'll do rest of booking in at my house next weekend when I am not so stressed and may take in what she tells me! Bit gutted as did my best to appear sane and she has clearly ticked the highly strung box but that all pales into insignificance as it's only five days till I can see my baybee!

[Scorpette]

OH FFS, WHAT A TWAT! I'm so fucking pedantic about shit too - hoisted by my own pet toad, there!

It's, erm, baby brain, I tells ye, baby brain! And the IL-induced madness...

Who's setting up the new fred?

[Scorpette]

Oooh, meant to ask, when is your galling scan today, Rocket? Good luck for it, gorgeous :)

[MsFC]

Oh, candle lit baths sound just the ticket for your poorly beaten up body gin, I hope you tell mini gin how much trouble he caused you when he comes out!

I don't want to be in a bugaboo club either, but In times of worry when I suddenly remember that I'll have an actual baby in my house for the first time in eight years, I imagine doing the school run and then hopping on the tube with my bugaboo and new baby and meeting my lovely friends for lunch.

Shallow and proud, that's me!!

[Scorpette]

Or was it yesterday? Fuxache, I really do need to go back to bed! GRRRRRRR.

[Ivegotmrbitey]

Mega cross posting there! scorps can you go out for a romantic just the two of you dinner tonight? I have avoided my I-Ls all Xmas and don't know how you have coped!

[PrincessBoo]

PESHchair club has made me giggle.

I loved my handmedown M&P pram (which I gave away on freecycle when we didn't need it any more). If the next one ever does appear it will go in the other second hand one that's currently at my Mum and Dad's waiting for it to be conceived. It's ace - bloody massive and springy and bouncy and probably from the early 90's - but I'd probably be able to fit smallchild in it too for a ride.

I did research the pushchair I ended up getting (Cosatto Diablo for anyone who gives a flying) but I think I get an instant reaction to the whole Bugaboo thing because of Other Baby Forums and the whole 'smugaboo' thing.

[Muser]

Your midwife sounds fab bitey, very exciting about the scan.

I have got washed and dressed and put laundry on. And ordered a billion foil trays from Lakeland so I can start filling the freezer with food.

Now I just need to dry hair and venture out to the supermarket. We are having our traditional NYE extravaganza of comedy dvds (Tim Minchin, oh yes) and tasty food tomorrow night. Normally it would also include at least 3 bottles of bubbly. What the hell am I going to drink instead?

[rocketleaf]

yes boo thats sort of what puts me off. But then everyone goes on about how good they are. pffft, IDK

sorry forgot to say congrates on the 12 week scan foxy!! It all starts to feel rather real after that. and also loads of luck for your early scan bitey your MW sounds like a diamond, how lovely of her!

You are right score scan is at 5 pm today, I have stuffed my face this morning and am hoping that will keep me going until I get back. Thing is I have realised that I have a chicken I need to roast either today or tomorrow and looks like we are going out for NYE dinner now, but I think roasting a chicken this avo would be pyaaaar torture. I have also realised that I have become even MORE obsessed with food than I was before getting diffed. I am sure it can not be healthy. :(

[rocketleaf]

Muse, Ame, Schoeler or Appletiser, or elderflower cordial with fizzy water in. It looks the same but it don;t taste the same :o

[Muser]

Good luck this afternoon rocket. I say roast the chicken tomorrow and have cold roast chicken on New Years Day. Perfect!

On the smugaboo thing, there are smug people pushing all sorts of prams around. Isn't the Stokke the one for the true yummy mummies now? The important thing is to get a pram that suits your needs. It happens that for me that's a Bugaboo, but owning it is not going to turn me into one of those mothers who fills her child's days with playdates and improving activities and witters on about how little Tarquin is so wonderfully advanced, we really think he's a genius you know, and he won't touch chocolate, just mung beans and organic ricecakes for him. Isn't that right darling? Who's mummy's special little boy? Blah blah blah.

On which note, my NCT classes start on Tuesday.

[Muser]

I am bored of all of those rocket! Bored. Bah. Hmmph. I might look up some non-alcoholic cocktail recipes. Is it possibly to make a mock Old Fashioned?

[Scorpette]

Sadly, Bitey, we are stuck in the middle of nowhere in deepest, darkest rural Devon. There's literally NOWHERE to go. There's not even a pub nearby, even though neither of us drink and have no desire to be considered for human sacrifice by a tavern-full of one-eyed yokels.

[rocketleaf]

Thats a bloody good idea! Actually could do it in the morning, and have a bit for lunch.

I agree re: the pram thing, I don't think the yummy mummy thing is so much of an issue up here anyway. I just want something that I can get in and out of the car easily but is going to be good for trains and schlepping it round on foot too. Never had an Old Fashioned but the thing with cocktails is they don't taste like they should sans alcohol, what about a shirley temple? Haven't had one of those since I was about 12 but I used to love em! :o