The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Makes me laff.

Lozza, he's a nob and you're gorgeous. I second the plan to spray vomit in his face.

Aries!!!111!!OMG!! Hello.

Thanks. Today in not a non-nausea today, so I may well spray-vom

laurie You've just described my xmas last year. :( I was supposed to be buying a present for lyra and couldn't make it to the end of the road, never mind actually go IN to a shop, open my purse, carry the aforementioned present home, wrap it, carry it back to the PO. Poor lyra. :( I went to bed at 9pm on NYE! I do think sometimes these male colleagues need to be reminded of what's appropriate and what's not. A colleague of mine told me I "looked good and I'd lost weight" - superficially a "nice" comment but it really irritated me because the size label on my clothes bears absolutely no relevance to the job I perform. So I told him that it was inappropriate and it was never to be mentioned again. It hasn't been. In fact he scuttles away when he sees me these days.

I don't think I'll be dancing on the tables at 4am any time this Christmas period myself either. Oh how times change!

Thing is he's normally a nice guy, just a bit gruff & blunt sometimes. I know he didn't mean it cruelly, but its still not right. I didn't handle it as well as you Alps, I'm afraid I prolly went high-pitched & wobbly chin as I tried to justify myself. Actually, that display prolly scared him more than a threat of HR

burst into tears next time lozzer that'll put the wind up him. On second thought hope the ISNT a next time (twat)

I had crippling period pains last Xmas Day (agony + a festive babyfail at the ILs made the day soooo special ), so this one will defo be better in every way possible [ggrin]

Loz, when people make tactless comments like that, I usually shut 'em up by very sweetly asking them 'what are you trying to say?'. Or less sweetly asking them 'how is that comment supposed to help me in any way?' if it's appearance-based. Ask and watch 'em splutter! Weight is a sensitive enough issue when you're not flooded with hormones and turning slowly but surely into the QE2.

I like Ski's approach in this matter - 'aaaand your thoughtless sexist bullshit is relevant to my performance how, exactly'?

A few nice come backs there. I shall practice them as my mantra, though as Rocket says lets hope there isn't a next time.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart I was waiting for my referral after finding a lump in my breast. I watched Corrie with the breast cancer story & Gavin & Stacey didn't think they could have kids story. Thankfully both programmes were on in the evening, & by then my paper hat was wonky & I was sozzled.

Whoop whoop, flower fairy musical jewelry box for niece no.2. Took me abut an hour to wade through the absolute hideousness that is the world of childrens jewelry boxes these days tho.

This xmas shopping is a piece of piss, I

oh lordy, sorry abut xpost there loz that's rough! Look how it all turned out tho :o

Last Xmas day I was rushed to hospital.

lorry you are lush. He is a cuntface

Gin wins!

But what a long way we've all come since last Christmas!

Indeedy muse! this Xmas I intend to sit stuffing my face and grinning at my nearest and dearest while they all get pissed revel in the festive season.

I just wanted the prize

Shit I'm still here! Must've got distracted while smooching lorry...

Gawd, no-one would wish Gin's last Xmas on their worst enemy But now she's won the prize, in more ways than one, huzzah!

How's this for good news? TinyNephew has moved from an incubator to a regular cot. Happy December!

Also, there is thread in pregnancy with people worrying about keeping their fanjos trimmed so as not to embarrass doctors. Am I the only person who could not get a stuff whether my legs are hairy and my fanjo resembles the Amazon rainforest?

oh, that is such good news, Muse.

YAY for TinyNephew! It's going to be a happy Xmas, fo sho

I saw that fred too, Muse. My WTF-ometer was off the scale. Of all the things that could possibly matter when you're in labour or having worrying internal checks, for me, hirsuteness would not enter into it. So no, you're not alone. My MW pal always says they prefer to see some hair down below as it is there to protect you from bacteria.

Gin Last Christmas was indeed shite for you. Of the highest order. This Christmas promises to be a pretty good one, all round the Deli. HUZZAH!

I feel very honoured by my Christmas smooch with gin - delish!

Muse That is such fantastic news about TinyNephew. He is indeed a right little fighter.

gin that sounds dreadful! Mine was mildly depressing but nowhere near as bad as that yours or lozzers So glad this year is going to be a whole different kettle of fish for all of us.

muse thats brilliant news about ickle nephy. Will he be home for christmas? (starts humming shite Chris Reah)

I have idly wondered what will happen down below when the bump gets too big for me to reach round to epilate. Very idly though, I am pretty lax about the whole thing at the best of times so doubt it is going to be a major consideration. Pizza slice with just have to be straggly. I am guessing these are the people who are permanently pedicured/sun tanned/high lighted, right?

Rocket Mr Boo used to apply depilatory cream for me. He did a better job than I have ever done (especially when I allowed him to do a porn star style landing strip, which is about as much titilation as he could get by that stage really!). :o

Rocket I've painted too glum a picture - without sounding arrogant I was confident my lump wasn't serious & determined to have a baby, so my Christmas was good.

I'm a firm believer of if I can't see something, its not there. So not wishing my entire fango to disappear, but as my belly expands I intend to just ignore the unruly mess. If Mr Loz so much as looks at it I'll stick his nuts in a vice.

I'm not style conscious btw- I just get itchy!

Rocket - pizza slice? Ewwww. And double ewwww because I'm having pizza for tea tonight

I've had my usual bikini and leg waxing done recently, in order to go to Aqua aerobics (went once) and wear skirts, but suspect I won't be as regular as I normally am.

Boo WTEWYE says cream-type hair removal mothods aren't great - waxing and shaving preferable.