I wandered lonely as a PESH

[Muser]

That floats on high o'er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd
Of cackling, quaffing, ne-er-do-wells

Pull up a seat, grap a glass of vino and a piece of sushi, it's Delitime again.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, awaiting update

UPDIFFED
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, will she ever stop puking?, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 21 May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.

But Alps I still have a full 25 pack of internet cheapies left. I'm watching them go darker. What's a girl to do?

Pol have a lovely day with your little girl today. Maintain a dignified silence and hopefully he will come back wracked with gguilt. It is not easy at all living with someone with depression. I'm not good at all with miserable people and end up shouting at them which is not v helpful or sympathetic but I tend to feel some people do wallow and do nothing to help themselves. MiniG's Dad had it - he did go to counselling but given she counselled him to leave me not sure how much good it was! Think happy pills might have been better TBH. Anyway, I was well rid really - he's a nice chap in many ways but we are not at all suited. Much better with lovely MrG.

Anyway, randomly waffling at this point but be kind to yourself today and focus on that baybee!

Scorps sounds like your MIL is delighted. Pleased for you.

Silver sorry to hear the BF still sore - does it still seem like a reflux issue?

ladyG I think an idea was put forward in BESH to fashion them in to a star for the tree! Or... if you've used a LOT, how about a picket fence for the garden? Or, you know how men proudly try and get in to the guinness book of records by recreating the taj majal from matchsticks? Bet nobody's ever done it with BFPs!

Maybe you could use them to fashion a lovely mobile to hang above the baby's crib?

Polly hope things are looking better today. I do think him talking about getting help is a good thing. He needs to go and do it now.

Scorps hooray for telling in-laws and fun nights out. Have you told everyone now? I'm really looking forward to hearing your Uncle's reaction.

After all the McD's talk yesterday TBG and I decided we required burgers for dinner. LadyG those mince pies are amazing. Clearly very wrong, but so good. I am going to eat lots of vegetables today. Well, TBG is doing a roast dinner. Lots of broccoli for me.

Today I shall mostly be walking around wondering how I got to the third trimester already.

Muser, my mum rang my aunt and uncle and aunt answered and went mental with happiness - uncle was down the pub, apparently, so haven't got feedback yet. However, he will be v excited; for all his tactlessness, he's not a horrible man and loves kids.

Poll, have reread my comments last night about TB and hope they don't come across as me telling a depressed bloke to just pull his socks up. I have suffered from clinical depression on and off since my teens, so I do know what it's like; and that knowledge involves knowing the self-pity, how you take your stress and stuff out on others and how you avoid getting help. Is not an easy situation so big hugs to all of you :)

RIGHT! Am going to go public on FB with this whole pg shebangle. Pliz to feign surprise and delight, like you didn't know until now, ha!

PS I hate you all - all I've craved since wk 6 has been a Big Mac and I can't have cos of allergies. I accidentally had a spoonful of creme fraiche the other week and was incredibly ill so I daren't cheat.

Oh I knew he'd be happy from what you'd said in the past, just would be lovely to see his face! You are going to make a lot of people very excited.

EVERYONE is v excited - told some family friends at the meal last night. Trouble is, my Mum is getting overexcited and taking over a bit and blurting stuff out. I know she's only being happy but I 'ask' her very firmly not to keep revealing stuff and her promise not to lasts about 3 minutes. Is very hard to tell someone off for being happy and for loving you Ironically, I am an absurdly private person precisely because of her being like this about everything when I was a kid! My Dad reigns her in but he is partially deaf and misses a lot of it. Ah well, I guess that if my Mum being overbearing in her joy is all I have to moan about re: my parents, then I'm lucky. Poor baby, though - my parents are smothering, TYF's parents are too detached and unemotional!

About 5 people couldn't come last night cos of the snow (Uncle lives on Milton Keynes), so that's why they were eventually told over the phone. Would've been nice to see their faces.

Am starting to get lovely FB comments now - is fab to bask in people's happiness for you! Is that selfish? Meh, is too nice for me to care

Ah score so glad MIL exceeded expectations! very glad :D (although disappointed no more barn owl info Shall you and I set up a 'deprived' corner of the Deli, might need to build an extension to fit all the things we can not have :o

pollypants I hope you have a better day today, might be good to have TG out of your hair, for him to go off and do the things he enjoys for the day, hopefully you can chill out a bit? Maybe have a proper talk about it when he gets back and support him getting some help but also I think you need to stress that is very unfair for him to say things like that to an 8 month diffed woman, even if its heat of the moment. After all if he REALLY didn't want another child he could have sorted out contraception himself. But depression is a weird and tricky thing, so if that is what's going on he needs to get checked out. Maybe see if st johns wort can help in the mean time? Really helped my mum out in the past. big unBESHy hugs.

Morning all. I am feeling a bit better today, thank you for the support. I slept in until 11am (yes really!) as TG left the house at around 8am and Boo is still with my mum. I think they are bringing her down this afternoon. Well, when I say I'm feeling better, I was until I went downstairs and saw the mess that he created last night (mixture of birth pool stuff, cooking, table shoved across the door to the utility room so I can't get in there etc) is all still there. I could have just cried. Instead, I made a cup of tea, grabbed a packet of cookies and the laptop and came back to bed! I will deal with it when I am showered.

I have a feeling his talk of going to the doctor is an empty gesture - he said he felt it was only a matter of time before I mentioned it, so he brought it up first. He had counselling when we first met for addiction issues and I think he feels that he went as far as he could with it, so there is no point trying again, or with another counsellor. With regard to pills he does not agree with them, even though I have used them twice - once after a family suicide when I was very low, and then again when I had PND when Boo was little. I'm sure he thinks they just mask the problem. He is still smoking the weed every night which I am sure is not helping, and he is convinced is the only thing that keeps him sane (-ish). He told me yesterday that he would smoke tonight to help him chill out after the tournament, and then he'd throw away the tobacco. Yeah yeah. He did that last Sunday and was so desperate by 7pm that he offered to go out and get takeaway so that he could go to the garage on the way. He thinks he won't sleep if he doesn't smoke. Gah.

I dunno, I always thought being someone's rock (as he says I am for him) would be hugely romantic. However it is Most Definitely Not. It is fucking hard work. At this time, I feel like I need a rock, someone to take care of me and cherish me and the shrimp, instead of being some fucking martyr who just carries on regardless.

Sorry. That all sounds very self-pitying and crap. I do sympathise with his depression, how could I not having been there myself? But I get angry that a) he takes it out on me, and b) he doesn't try to do anything about it. It is just very frustrating for me.

Scorps don't worry, you didn't offend. You didn't say anything I haven't thought at one point or another. And it is true that he is very self-centred. Most of the time it does not concern me as I am not one for being the centre of attention and I'm happy to be in the background. We were watching that Sarah Beeney programme the other night and she said her husband is the dreamer, and she is the practical one, the 'enabler', and it feels very similar to our relationship, except I can't afford to buy him a bloody castle! It would just be nice to be fucking appreciated for that sometimes. On another note I got very excited yesterday when I saw that I had an email from Euromillions lottery asking me to log in as they had amazing news for me. I allowed myself 5 mins of daydreaming before logging in to find I'd won £6.60. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick I suppose.

Thanks all for the advice and support, Silv especially as I know you are having rough nights at the mo with MB, and have also suffered with lazy-itis DH too!

Mmm burgers are good.... there is a fab burger place in Bath called Schwartz Bros. I have to visit every time I go home. And I still dream of the burgers we had at GBK in That Lunden a couple of years back. How sad is that!

Scorps I am glad the family announcement went well, especially with MIL. Even a severely repressed skank will surely be overjoyed at the news of first grandchild! (even if she can't express it very well!)

Right, I want pate on toast and a pint of Port I think. Do you reckon I could train the dog to bring it upstairs for me? No? Well, I suppose I'd better get my arse out of bed then

polly i think you should make a stand an leave the mess he has made for him to clear up when he gets back (if you can stand it ) It is completely out of order for him to leave the house in that state for the day and expect you to clear up after him. (my sympathy for him is waning severely)

If the offer to go to the docs is empty then IDK what to suggest, but smoking weed every night is definitely NOT going to help with depression, ffs its a depressant itself and can be hallucinogenic/psychotic esp if is strong/skunk, he must know that. I say this as someone who smoked A LOT when younger and am not anti drugs at all. But if he is using it a crutch then he should bloody well admit it to himself. How can he say taking pills masks the problem but then smoke weed to help him cope with his? Its the same fucking thing!!! (except proscription drugs are controlled and specifically design for purpose and weed is self medicating and very easy to misuse) This is a really tough situation tho as if he has had addiction problems in the past then it is likely been transfered to the weed. Sorry don't meant to rant at you, of course you know the score with your own relationship far better than I could but warning bells are ringing and it sounds like you are having to bear the brunt of his behaviour at a time when you should be feeling safe, secure and supported. Its not fair for you always to be the strong one. If he doesnt go then I think maybe you have to insist, seeing as he is expecting that anyway. xxx

I agree completely GreenStuff. But I can't leave the kitchen - I just can't! I want do some more cooking for the freezer for when baybee arrives and I can't do without clearing up first. Also, I am a Virgo and do not cope well with clutter and mess. Seems I married the wrong bloke then, as he is a hoarder and sees nothing wrong with leaving crap every where...

I will try and talk to him later tonight, depending on what time he gets back. Or tomorrow after Boo has gone to bed. If he really is feeling as bad as he says he is, then he just has to do something about it, we can't go on like this. Although he is probably feeling better now for having 'unloaded', while I am left feeling shit.

What rocket said. Do NOT tidy up, especially not with your SPD. And I would not be at all happy with the drug use in this situation. I have no problem with a bit of recreational weed, personally I don't see it as wildly different from me having a lovely glass of wine when I get home. But there is a line between a bit of relaxation and dependency.

I hope his offer of getting help isn't hollow, it does sound like he could do with it.

polly I think you and my sister would have A LOT to talk about :o Not the weed etc but the Virgo plus hoarding man, my BIL has a starwars lego addiction which drives her bonkers. Not to mention a garage full of stuff from his deceased uncles house that has been there for about 4 years.

Poll, you spend all that £6.60 on yourself - GO WILD! Weed is a depressant when you're already depressed, like alcohol. It could be making TB feel worse when he thinks it's helping. And is not good to be getting stoned when you could drop any time. Am not anti-weed at all (my time at Uni would attest to that!), just that it doesn't sound like it is actually helping him. If he's already self-medicating with drugs then he can't really complain about taking pharmaceutical ones to properly medicate him, can he? He probably needs anti-dps and counselling, like many people when depressed.

Being someone's rock can be rewarding and romantic if they appreciate you and all you do for them and take the advice and direction of the 'strong' one. TYF is cripplingly shy and a dreamer and I have to make all the decisions, which he never moans about, and also constantly reassure him about social situations and sometimes be harsh about stuff (like feeling nervous about telling his folks: after lots of reassurance, I finally barked 'enough fretting now. Rip the (metaphorical) plaster off in one go and get it over with'. And he did) but he does acknowledge that support and thank me. And sometimes the rock needs the other person to be the rock (I'm v anxious, he calms me down). I feel like I'm talking about that rubbish wrestler-turned-actor The Rock here!

Just found out that another of TYF's cousins is expecting a baby (well, his wife is). It's going to be a bumper year, all right!

X-posted weed stuff with Rocket - great minds think alike :)

Pol, step away from the tidying up! I am appallingly messy, but I always force myself to keep stuff that affect TYF tidy (like kitchen surfaces, so he can get his brekkie fine, etc.). Don't let him (yours, not TYF!) become your 3rd child!

Polly Perhaps this will raise a smile/smirk/snarl: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1093403-Stung-by-stinging-nettle-worried

I am having a tidy. It's very boring. I hate housework. Roll on New Year when I can have a lovely cleaner to do it for me.

TBG has just come home from the supermarket with the fixings for a roast dinner and a mini bottle of champagne for me. The boy done good.

God, the vinegar I'm using to descale the bathroom taps smells so good. It makes me want to have some. That's weird, right?

muse thats really funny, I used bicarb and vinegar to clean the plug holes and then had to go and eat an avocado with balsamic vinegar cos it made me hungry :D

boy done good, not so much this end. We are sposed to be going out for sunday dinner in a moment but TB has just announced he doesnt feel well so we might be canceling. leaving me half an hour to go out and buy food if we want to eat in. eeep. Mind you he has hoovered and mopped today so spose I should give him credit for that.

Wait. Muse. You are DESCALING taps? That in itself is weird...

Did you try an extra duvet last night? Mine helped a bit - it was also toasty warm! I actually managed to sleep for A WHOLE THREE HOURS before waking up. Unheard of round these parts in the third trimester... But then I was back to turning over and weeing every hour as per, and it still hurt like hell this morning. It does get better through the day though, so I get lots of comfort knowing it's not SPD. I think that TBH it's worse the longer I lie down, so no more sleeping in for me...

pols I agree with what others have said, the weed certainly can't be helping. But it's tricky getting anyone to give anything up unless they want to - I have this issue with the FC & his Stella.. And to you & score - I have great admiration, there is no way I am tough enough to be anyone's rock, I'm a bit of a leaner myself [needy emoticon]...

Just made my Chistmas cake & ate loads of the mixture while the FC wasn't looking. I now feel sick but want more...

The taps are super manky, I don't do it very often. And I do it the lazy way. Soak kitchen roll in vinegar, wrap round tap, leave. Then you can just unwrap and all the limescale is gone.

I didn't try an extra duvet last night but my hip was ok. I don't have to wake to turn too often. My back is the main issue at the moment. My body pillow is now folded in half to provide additional cushioning on the sofa. It is helping.

I really ought to do some washing up or I'll never get my roast beef. I keep hoping the bump will get big enough that I can't reach the sink anymore.

I had terrible back ache a month ago, and it's eased off now - I think the muscles got stronger or something. Maybe the same will happen for you Muse?

Ooh I will have to try the bicarb/vinegar thing on our taps and plugs. We don't have mains water and TG gets v lazy about changing the filters so everything gets covered in a weird rusty coloured kind of limescale. Yuck.

Well mum and dad are in the kitchen cooking up two shepherds pies. I have been banished to the sofa with Boo to watch 101 Dalmations. And mum has offered to come down tomorrow too and clean through for me. I didn't have to ask. I really hate feeling dependent on people though, it just doesn't sit well with me. I am so bad at asking for and accepting help. I have emailed another local cleaner (one that lovely Drom suggested) as I don't feel so bad if I am paying for help. She hasn't replied though. I am guessing that all the local cleaners are either too busy or don't really want the work.

I just googled THC and depression ready to get some info for TG, not that he doesn't know it all already, but he is very good at deluding himself. Some recent studies have shown that it is an anti-depressant in small doses. No doubt TG will cling to that. Trouble is, what he is doing is self-medicating and there is no way of knowing how much THC he is taking. I'm going to have to be firm.

Pol, just jumping in to say so sorry you're going through all this. I am very on your behalf about it. But please please please don't feel bad or silly or weak about asking for help. They are your family and want to help you.

I'm afraid I don't feel the same as everyone else about weed. Having a brother who smoked so much in his younger days and also took a lot of other drugs as well, including crack, his current condition is too much of a coincidence for me to say "oh smoking weed is ok". In my brother's case it has definitely contributed to his psychosis and depression. He is very ill. TG definitely needs to stop this, for his own good and for his family's.

If there's anything you need from anyone here please please ask xxxx

Take the help PP. There is nothing wrong with taking help when you need it. We are all dependent on other people to a greater or lesser extent. There's nothing wrong with that.