The PESH Deli - Going MAD for Hallowe'en.

[Scorpette]

Tales from the dark side, from a coven of evil hags obsessed with ghoulies. Hellish talk of FJ and puke will chill you to the marrow. Unspeakable horrors from our uterine crypts do creep - but thankfully, we're also having baybees...

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.

UPDIFFED

silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee).
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy).
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14.
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy).
maswera, jungle hottie, due December 11.
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25.
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 January.
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2.
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24.
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, will she ever stop puking?, due February 27.
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12.
Casserole, living on hula hoops, due April 10.
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan.
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 21 May.
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 3 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.

So come on in and leave your broomsticks and pointy hats by the door!

Silv, the morning before my baby was born i refused to phone mw about show until i had finished cleaning bathroom and making up beds for our parents. It's amazing what the threat of labour will motivate you to do! Honey i'm going to lose this bet if you don't get a shift on...

Sozzer curls, silver is probably slightly more deserving of first place... Am also bored and lost my "nesting" impulse somewhat. Having hair done is activity fopr the day. Paranoid about number of ill people around, so thinking angoraphobia safer for now.

Mr Moo is upstairs reading the proof for his book (not as exciting as it sounds, is for legal peeps) and so I am eating more chocolate and thinking about making a crumble.

I'm here. Bored too. Walked to Waitrose for tea. We are having tacos.

Do you think diff flatuence is linked to fast eating too?

Just watched the end of Marley & Me. Cried again...

How's the new hair honeymoney?

Ooh tacos. Good call. If only I had salsa and salad we could have that too. Can I be arsed to go out?

:) diff flatulence. In my case am constantly eating. Can't be good for you. What I am going to do on preggo leave? The minute I get bored I am head in cupboard. Already eaten half of mini snacks for labour. Do you think it's a bit OTT to take a picnic cooler box into hosp?

I LOVE that film. I want to watch it again.

I tried to take a picture of myself on iPhone but realised I needed botox and stopped.

Hello. I have been to differs pilates and then lunch with mum. It was all very nice. Now I have to make a cake to take to friends tomorrow. Just want to sleep.

Also think I just got a proper kick from Bob. Either that or I've twanged my fanjo bending down to rescue shopping bag. I guess I'll find out when I try to get off the bus.

Nesting is rubbish. More like you get soooooooooo bored that you finally cave and clean or cook.

If eating were an Olympic sport I am a front runner for the gold medal. If flatulence were an Olympic sport they wouldn't even bovver starting the race as I would win hands down. It's truly an art form. ESP now sproggo is head down and pushing on all the farty pressure points I don't stand a chance. I can see HI's disappointed chops when a cheeky pop releases mid labour.

I have finished the bathroom to the best of my poor ability. HI can wash the floor. Have rescued the hoover, however tv and stand downstairs needs a dusting but I think I have reached my limits today. Besides I will be dark in a mo and I won't be able to see the dust til the morning.

Time for another little lie down before whacking dinner in the oven.

Good news on the bobkick... Buy a cake - they won't know Muser.

silver I'm weaning myself off cleaning. I get upset when the bed doesn't get made or Mr Moo doesn't unload dishwasher or clean up to my standards. I need to go cold turkey and accept the shithole my house is likely to become.

Oh oh oh bobkick! Brilliant!

silver, stop cleaning & settle down on the sofa with a takeaway and X Factor. Turn the light off to avoid seeing the dust.

about the honey botox. It's all downhill from here on in. The FC has just hung a lovely mirror in the lounge. Took him ages, he had to use a tape measure & everyfink. Thing is, it's still wonky. He's very annoyed. I'm MORE upset that said mirror makes me look 47.

I am watching Strictly, X Factor does not entertain me at all.

I have forgotten the butter to make cake. Am very annoyed.

what you need is subtle uplighting and dimmer switches. failing that, take the damn thing down. this is not going to be helpful during the weeks you may be averaging 13 minutes sleep a day. what kind of thoughtless, selfish man is this?

I don't think the proof reading is going well. I just went up there and he is spending inordinate amount of time looking at what headphones? online. He already has 3 pairs and all of them block out external noise, so he won't hear me or the baybee wailing in frustration.

I would watch strictly but it brings out the tanorexic in me.

goddamn that butter. it is fricking annoying when that happens. BUY the cake next time.

TBG is in bed feeling poorly.

Aargh, I need a new washing machine so badly. The current one is spinning and making the whole flat shake. That can't be right surely?

Also have decided after pilates this morning that I need to buy a gym ball. It was so lovely sitting on it this morning. I have no space for one though.

French Fancies muse. Everyone loves em and you can even buy them at petrol stations. Save the butter for your toast. Wedge some newspaper under the washing machine...

honey... Surely you know that some men can never have too many headphones...

The FC has come back from his trip to Tescos for beer telling me his plans for straightening said mirror. It includes wrapping string around the screws ...

He's now settled into his PC game with beer while I watch Patsy in her red dress. Goddamn that woman for looking so good - still.

Noo, I want to make my lemon cake. But oh god, I can't be arsed to leave the house.

gym ball will be your friend. I can't get comfy on sofa anymore - squashes my tummy up too much.

OK I am watching strictly. Eastenders boy quite good.

Gavin's arse & hips. That is all.

I am addicted to 71 Degrees North for the same reason...

Umm - please don't call me the cake carrying lady - but I'm thinking of swimming tomorrow. Now I know the steam room is probably a no no, but what about the bubbly spa pools? They're ok aren't they?

Aktuerlly, at risk of sounding like the cake carrier I fink not. I think the warm water can be a bit germy and get bad stuff up yer foofy.

Swimming pools ok so dunno why.

Alicia needs shooting. She is such a chav.

Flavia is my favourite. Our physiques are very similar in real life. Is she still shagging the 12 year old boy?

Ooh. I never thought of that... I'll have to make do with a hot shower then...

I know what you mean about Alicia, but I think Cheryl is higher on the chav swingometer.

Oh yeah, I had a dream last night that I had the baby & it looked like Andrew Marr. Gross.

Hot tubs/jacuzzis are not advised. Not because of the bubbles, but the heat. And I think the risk is more you fainting then anything else. I did sit with my legs in one while pregnant and nearly keeled over. Not pleasant.

I am watching Strictly but on Sky+ so bit behind. I am up to Matt quick stepping.

Is it bad that I have eaten Moussaka for my tea? No? Even if it was meant for two?

Who said it was for two silver?? Deny it. Say it was a single portion. I have spent the day eating cupcakes & cheescake made by hb. Yum yum.

Thank you for the hot tub advice & not calling me the cake lady...

Cheryl is beeeeautiful style icon!!!

71 degrees North fan here too. Tho think Gav is an arrogant knob jockey. I am not warming to him on Strictly either.

Ann Widdecombe is hideous. Reminds me of a witch. There I said it.

The day before I knew I was "with child" I had spent the evening at a spa in the steam room and sauna and jacuzzi. As per musey tis the heat that is the ishoo. Naturally I did worry about it afterwards when I discovered that it was a banned activity. Soon got over it tho and promptly forgot to register the prawn and chorizo linguini I had for my tea that day!!

HI called. We have ice cream in the freezer. I feel a snack attack coming on later.

I can't stand Tess "one eye" Daly. Annoying like mad!!

I know jacuzzis/hot tubs are not advised - but srsly ? How fucking hot would they have to be to melt your chuff and your baybee? Presumably (some of) you wash at home? And Aries aside, most of you have hot running water yes? As I once said to a cake-carrier - "do you often have gushes of hot water up your foof when you get in the bath?". I'm afraid I fail to see the risk involved - likewise with saunas - use yer loaf and don't sit in there for 40 minutes with the temperature cranked to "helsinki".