The PESH Deli - No ESH left behind

[PerfectDromedary]

I have opened the virtual gin, found the Desperate Romantics and am about to start playing I've Never. Who's with me?

I can't imagine it either, muse we always said we'd only have one anyway. I also woke up with the scratchy throat but I think thats due to a really RUBBISH nights sleep. Tb didnt get in til 5 and I was having weird dreams all night, one was about scientolgists trying to nobble myself and TB and then the 2nd one was some weird sci fi based thing where they were trying to 'recycle' me and my bump (which isnt there yet) in some sort of sterile logans run type complex. I am pretty sure Liam Neesan was in it too

I also had a night of crazy dreams. I hate them.

We do want more than one. I would quite like 3. MrM says 2. I am not sure I could do pregnancy 3 times though.

Best hope for OMGTWINZ!!!!!!11!!! next time then muse I quite buzz of the weird dreams, I am used to it as go through periods of having really full on bizarre epic ones. As long as its not one of those waking up bolt upright with the sweats kind of terrors or sleep paralysis i don't really mind.

Ha. Twins. Oh my. I am even more in awe of people with twins.

I do remember saying to myself in the early weeks; how does anyone do this when they have one already.

I've had a weird day and a half of not feeling at all pregnant. No sensations (not that I had anything distinct going on) and my bump seemed smaller. But in the last hour or so, suddenly it is bigger again and I "feel" pregnant again - maybe baby just moved but it was a very uneasy feeling.

I wonder (daily) if it is harder dealing with 1 while being preggers with another or dealing with 2 and not being preggers. I have said before I found the last weeks so hard last time and it is harder this time with another to look after! Mr C has gone to the park with mini C to run about a bit and I will just lie here on this sofa like a whale for a while.

A friend of mine had twins a couple of days a go - 1 was 7lb 3oz and the other was 6lb 10oz! That is a hell of a lot of baby she was lugging round AND she already has a 2 yr old. I am in awe (and glad it is not me!)

Wow, amazing weights for twins! I am also impressed.

Cunty birth story is amazing. Do you think having a doula helped things go your way? I have been wondering about hiring one.

I felt like her presence was really beneficial, both before, when we talked through options, and on the day. I didn't want to have to think about any decisions and she had all my plans and thinking in her handbag! She was able to give the MWs my take on things. Nothing that Hom couldn't have done of course, but it allowed him to enjoy the birth instead of feeling like he had to stay in control of my welfare IYSWIM. Money well spent IMO, and we still meet for coffee every now and again.

I think beforehand she was very instrumental in my fairly zen approach to the whole birth process. I didn't need to go to any AN classes cos we talked through the pain management techniques in detail, along with prep such as sacral massage to free up the pelvic and uterine muscles so they are loose ready for birth. If you can afford it I'd recommend it as an extra weapon in your arsenal, as it were.

I am really considering it, although I am not sure how TB will feel, he is quite a private person. He has always objected to having a cleaner as he doesn't want a stranger in our house so I am not sure how he would feel about someone getting involved in such a personal aspect of our lives. On the other hand he is even more clueless than I am about what birth is going to be like so I suppose if I suggest it to him that it would be an extra support for both of us allowing him to focus on me, he might be more comfortable about it. I also think there is no harm meeting with one or two, and then deciding based on whether we are comfy with any of them and can afford it etc.

Alpine, sorry for butting in, but really I must protest. I don't watch the Shit Factor and nor to I post status updates about it. So there!

PS though I might have mentioned Strictly last week.

Rocket I had an IM, and I fully believe that having a 'woman who knows' there is massively valuable. And with the best will in the world, men really don't know what they are letting you in for till the day itself! We had a lot of problems first time round, and from OH's POV it was the worst day ever (although he did have it particularly bad - me rushed under a general anaesthetic and DD rushed up to SCBU.) It brought it home to him just how bad it could be. And frankly, his attempts at massage failed miserably because he hadn't been to the antenatal massage session. He had no idea what he could do to help.

This time we had a very thorough preparation from the IM and she showed him lots of stuff he could do to help, and he was fab.

rocket I think that's sensible. Hom wasn't enthused, but ultimately it was my decision, my birth experience and had he been in the boat of giving birth then he could have decided different . It really is all about what is going to make it easiest for you, regardless of whether the chap may be a bit uncomfortable. My doula was able to talk to Hom about his concerns - it's not unusual apparently - and she would have taken as active or passive a role as we wanted.

How do you go about finding a doula/IM?

Doula UK website I used. If you have a look on the childbirth forum there are often other people's experiences too if you want a broader perspective.

that is a very good point cunty :o I've got plenty of time to soften him up anyway

Can't obv speak from complete personal experience but I will let you know how we get on with our doula. Although she hasn't gone into details like massage which would actually be helpful I think. I guess we have covered that on NCT and hippobirthing though. Is there such a thing as being too prepared?!!! Sometimes I get nervous that we'll forget something vital and helpful but that is me being a control freak again. And that's what she is there for.

Have been a bit crapola today. Had a nice walk with dog and husband and got back with headache that hasn't shifted all day. Also feel a touch queasy and under par with a hurty bit at the bottom of my spine. Can't work out if it is baby or just walked too far. I suspect it's just me and not baby related...

Medee I had weeks and weeks after the MS stopped of feeling completely not pregnant. Just normal and would forget for a little while sometimes... How many weeks are you now? It is unnerving though and after 20 week scan and tummy started to properly get big, you;ll soon stop owrrying - well about that anyway!

meds personally I am finding that there is always something to worry about. But again that's me. Like moogoo I am also a control freak.

If we could afford it I would have opted for IMW or Doula but we can't so we didn't. I think I would be feeling more confident if we had but one way or t'other this child is gonna come out and I just gotta do the best I can with whatever situ is sent my way. Let's hope HI is rock solid.

Tho at the mo he is ranting and raving cos he has lost something and is annoyed with himself. I have decided to remain silent during his search as comments such as "you always lose things" and "if it's that important you should have taken more care of it" will not be welcomed. I am also hoping that I didn't throw said item out!!!

ha ha I do that all the time. If I didn't we would be buried alive in shite.

We are buried in shite, TB won't throw anything away or even open anything that looks like a bill (paper work is my department ) So it all gets hidden in a box under the coffee table until I can be bothered to sort/file it (about once every 6 months) When he loses stuff and has supposedly looked for it I always ask 'Did you LOOK for it or did you do a boy look?' Always goes down well :o

We are making a start at clearing stuff out, to make room for baby stuff. I hate paperwork though, what are you meant to do with it?

Ha ha, my other half always does a 'boy look' too, drives me a bit potty.

Muser, you're in That London right? If you're interested in an Independent Midwife, look at these lot. I know several people who have used Elke and loved her. IMs are pretty expensive though and probably not worth it unless you're thinking of a home birth.

'Did you do a boy look'! ROFFLE @ rocket!

I am in ThatLondon Twinkle. I don't really need an IM as not planning a homebirth, doula would be better.

God, someone on the March thread has just lost her baby at 20 weeks. I can't imagine it. Makes you realise that the 20 week scan is not just a bit of fun.

I am 18+1, and have my 20w scan a fortnight tomorrow, thank goodness. Thanks for the reassurance, everything just felt so quiet in there - as I say, not that it has been particularly noisy. And reading about the poor woman on the March AN thread is not helping.

HI is exactly the same. He thinks paperwork is all my dept and won't open anything!!! Drives me nuts. Saying that I have gone on strike recently and he has improved. A smidge. His justification is he works very hard yet is prepared to do manual stuff. I think the old boy is gonna have a shock.

Oh and he found said item. How did he find it? Cos I suggested where he migh have put it. Et voilà !!!! Grumpy pig no more and I demand a kiss as an apology for his unnecessary grumpiness. He is now putting together the pushchair. However this is resulting in him remaining in "grumpy fucker" mode as it's not proving straightforward. 'Scuse my French. Perhaps it's cos he is refusing to read the bloody instructions like a normo would!!!!!!

Bleeding men.