Hi everyone,
I've just spent the past two days, on and off, whenever I get a chance, composing a message and catching up with each of you. Then I got up just there, left my laptop for about a minute, and it restarted itself, meaning I lost the lot! Grr! Anyway, no offence to the rest of you, but there are two people I will single out from the past week.
Fudge - I am so, so sorry to hear your news. I hope you're getting all the support you can right now. Elliot's a beautiful name, and I hope you can take comfort in knowing that he'll always be remembered around the world by your friends on MN, for being such an amazing little fighter. It really takes a special life, however short, to touch so many people. But then, looking at his mummy, and how amazing you've been through it all, it seems no wonder that he was so special. As I say, I hope you're getting all the support you need (and more) in RL, but don't forget, we're all here for you too. Lots of love. xxx
Now, Pixie - gosh, I can't wait to catch up with you and find out how things went! Sorry I didn't get a chance to wish you luck before Friday, but I was just so busy... Becoming a mummy!
My darling boy was born last Sunday, the 19th, fit and healthy, weighing 9lb 5.5.
On the Saturday morning, I posted here, saying I didn't think he'd ever come! I spent the day with my family, and though my back was absolutely killing me, I felt alright. Went to bed, only to wake at 2:30am with my waters breaking. (Just leaking onto pad - didn't spill anywhere else, not like on TV - I was so worried about that happening!) Anyway, I went to the toilet, changed my pad, and woke DH. Then had my first "cramp". Not any worse than if I had a bad bout of diahorrea, and I did wonder if that was really it. DH got up, and we went and looked up the number to phone the hospital, but in that time, I'd had another couple of slightly worse cramps, and I had to get DH to do the phoning, cause when the pains came, I couldn't speak. The hospital told us to pop up, so, knowing that I was about to be examined, I popped into a quick shower, just washing my bottom half. We then drove to the hospital (this was at about three) and on the way, my contractions were gettting longer, less spaced out and more painful. In hospital, I was put on a heart trace - all fine - and examined. I was 3cm, and she could see hair! I was then told that it's usual to dilate at about 1cm an hour, so they wouldn't admit me to labour ward just yet, and I was to go home, and come back when contractions were 2mins apart, lasting 60secs each. I said they were already closer than that, and lasting longer than 60secs (DH had been timing) but the midwife told me I'd know when to come back, because the contractions would "step up a gear" and it would be "unmistakable". So off home I went. Quite a journey, cause I kept having to stop all down the hospital corridors and through the car park to lean on DH for support, and then in the car, I made him drive at about 20mph (lucky it was the middle of the night - no traffic!) and stop every time I had a contraction. Not nice. Anyway. Home and I just lay on the sofa. DH put my TENS machine on for me (I couldn't even focus on what he was doing!). I held off taking Paracetamol because I heard that most people want pain relief at 5-6cm, and thinking I was only about 3.5, I wanted to hold something back for when it got to its worst. Just before 7am, after throwing up all over the place (poor DH - practise for what was to come!) I felt my body involuntarily push. I asked DH to calculate how dilated I should be according to what the hospital said, and he reckoned about 5.5cm. I had been determined not to be a wimp, and to hang on as long as possible on my own, but I really didn't feel I could any more. The TENS was doing nothing by this stage, and I was dreading the car journey. Anyway, fast-forward. Got to hospital, though I don't know how. Was managing about five steps between contractions. Got to triage and they asked me to go into one of the assessment rooms, but another contraction hit me, and the three midwives decided I needed to go straight to a labour room. In there, halfway though another contraction (didn't seem like there was any gap between them at that point!) they started stripping me, and the woman who'd sent me home two hours earlier stuck her hand up me (nice!) and felt Baby's head. I was 10cm and ready to go. Up onto bed and I pushed for two hours solid but though Baby was right there, he just wouldn't come that last little bit. Suddenly there were eight people in the room and they were telling me they had to do a kiwi delivery, cause Baby was getting tired. Though I was very polite throughout (asking the midwife to "please not touch me", instead of telling her to "fk off", when she was rubbing my shoulder!), at that point I felt very much out of control. I kept asking them to tell me what was going on, but they wouldn't. As I said, there were eight people in the room (ten including DH and myself) and I didn't know what any of them were for! Anyway, long story short, Baby was born at 9.17am. I was raging that I hadn't managed to deliver him on my own, but they reckoned that was just cause he was so big. Still, I was really pleased that it went the way I wanted it to in terms of no drugs. (Not even Paracetamol, though I admit, I did cave and take the gas and air as they were stitching me up - third degree tear.) Anyway. Baby was born, and two of the people immediately whisked him away, and started rubbing him down with towels. Though he was breathing fine, he'd swallowed a lot of fluid and it took him a good while to cry. Meanwhile, I'd had the injection to deliver the placenta - I don't know when that happened - I wasn't consulted and had asked to deliver it naturally. I also had two people stitching me, and someone else had stuck a drip in my arm. It was so hectic that it was only once I had Baby in my arms that I noticed the drip, asked what it was, and was told it was something to slow the bleeding, as well as fluids. No one told me anything! It was ridiculous. Still. Very healthy baby. Me not so much (same story as all through pregnancy!). I had lost a lot of blood and every time I tried standing, I keeled over. Ended up staying in hospital for four days, and getting a blood transfusion. Typical! I'm better now, though still very anaemic, and there are times when I have to ask DH to carry the baby, cause I'm lightheaded, but for the most part, I'm managing. Breast feeding's going well, in that Baby's doing great - lost 2.something% of birthweight, instead of the expected 10%. My nipples are in bits after the first couple of nights in hospital where I hadn't had the blood, hadn't had any sleep and was left alone with Baby all night. I was so tired that he kept slipping off without me noticing. Should say that, like they say, once he's attached properly, it doesn't hurt. But I was so tired. Night two was the worst. He didn't stop feeding until 7am! That meant that in the first 48hrs, I got a total of three hours of sleep! And then bear in mind I'd been up since 2:30am in labour before that! Anyway, when he settled at 7am, I FINALLY got to the toilet and into bed, and at eight, some daft sod woke me to see did I want breakfast. Wouldn't have minded but with self-service till 10am, what was the point?! Grr! Anyway. Being home is sooo good. I'm still a feeding machine, but if I'm feeling ill, I can trust that DH can do everything else and Baby will be fine. That means I can rest much more. As you were saying, November, I don't know what I'll do when DH goes back to work! As it is, what with all the washing and cleaning up after His Nibs, the two of us are run ragged! Still, it's amazing how I just don't care. I'm ill, I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm covered in all sorts of yuckiness, and even still, all I have to do is look at this amazing little person that I created, and I really couldn't care less. I know every mother's biased, but he's sooo amazingly gorgeous... And now he's stirring so I'd better go. That was well timed for once! He's been fast asleep beside me in his cot for the past two hours, but those beautiful, bright little eyes have just flicked open... Oooh, I didn't know it was possible to be so in love! 