February 2011 babies... Getting to second trimester

[Lulabel27]

Hi All

This is the new thread taking over from "Feb 2011... Where only us and a select few know"

So sad that not everyone will be joining us on the new thread but here's looking to the future and hoping we start to see some lovely scans and good news from everyone in the next month

It varies from area to area, ScMacBt. I think in most areas you get two NHS scans, but not all (I remember when I was pregnant with DS, who is now five and a half, they were supposedly going to introduce that everywhere "by the end of the year" - ha!) and it's looked from the information that angels1 has been given that in her area she only gets one.

Good job about the hols tho. I had to embellish my symptoms to get scan this morning! terrible. I am finding it hard working cos am in community a lot and wee so much and need food often! now got holiday care to find its very tiring. After Wednesday nt scan I can hopefully tell my kids and book our holiday. Stacey....can't remember new name. Poor you. how old is he? Seems bit knobish. I got very hurt between dhs it was terrible. I couldn't sleep etc. would be much worse if I had be pg. Why did he text? Are you semi together? Reckon you should play it cool. Tell him you don't understand his concern as you are the one who will be caring for it. horrible when pg cos can't go out yourself and very vulnerable. It took me ages to get over him but it was easy when I took control and stopped sleeping with him or taking him back.

Easier!! Not easy

I hope I don't fall asleep on our 'date night' I am sooooo tired today.....

Glad the scan went well Ledkr

ledkr he text to see if i was okay...clearly im not and he knows this already so why ask? Before i found out i was pregnant we kept randomly seeing each other and spoke on a daily basis, as there is still a lot of chemistry, and WAS a lot of respect for each other. We didnt end on bad terms it just wasnt progressing. I just think it would be easieer if he disappeared altogether as he is making me feel bad for upsetting him . Also its him who is keeping contact with me not the other way around so its confusing as iv told him i dont want or expect anything from him in terms of support, money etc. Oh and he is 20.

Ps sorry u were so hurt i know how the not sleeping etc feels, seem to spend most time crying in the shower so no one hears me.

Hopefully you are having more luck this time round

professor In scotland you get one between 8-13 weeks obviously depending on if you know exactly how far along you are etc, and a 20 week fetal anomaly scan, however you can decline to have this.

Im being given growth scans at 28,32 and 36 weeks this time round.

tarlia sadly it's not just you that's feeling that rough - I'm in the club too....it feels like it's neverending doesn't it? are your stats right btw? if this is your 7th week of roughness and your 81/2 weeks it doesn't quite seem right... I can't wait for it to end, but I like how on this thread people seem to be feeling better as they get further on (even if they are frustratingly a few weeks ahead of me). It makes me feel like I'm getting there.

My DH has had to fend for himself food wise for weeks now - I used to home cook nearly everything (including home made cakes in his work lunch box) and he's now surviving on chips!

re: scans - I think I only get 1 on NHS, which is most unfair It's at 20 weeks. Seems to pot luck - myu friend who lives 1/2 hr away seems to have got at least 5 and she's not high risk for anything/has been straight forward. we are thinking of paying for a 3d scan in a few months though - it costs £150 where I live you you get a cd with piccies and a dvd - we thought we could give the dvd to mum and dad/mil fil for christmas

ps my ds is 6 and the lack of scans lead to them missing the fact that he had stopped growing at 21 weeks, def think there should be one further on at say 30 weeks just as precaution.

Do England and Scotland have different policies then regarding health issues? I thought it was all Nhs (crap institution in my opinion) standard stuff everywhere?

Hello everyone - sorry haven't been on for a while, I've been away in London as my son had a minor operation and it's taken me ages to catch up!

SO sorry for those who have lost their pregnancies - I've been there so I know how devestated you must be.

I'm feeling awful GPs sent me a letter, yes a letter, to tell me to call on Friday so I did and I have a urine infection. They have given me some antibiotics which I have started but not feeling much better (yet). Having such bad abdominal pains but not at the front, more at the back IYSWIM. Need the loo every 5 seconds and just generally under the weather.

Got to go into work tomorrow as well as I took last week off to look after DS and there's noone to cover for me.

Feeling very sorry for myself!!!!!

Forget England and Scotland having different policies, different PCTs within England have different policies on health stuff.

I'm likely to wind up with a growth scan as I have big babies (have had one with both of the last two) but who knows?

Having spent time places without a NHS equivalent, I'm rather a fan (although there is a lot wrong with it in practice).

My growth scans are too make sure what happened previously doesnt happen again sort of thing, also having to have another section, not sure how i feel about that.

I wonder if the PCTs thing is the same in Scotland.

Nhs can be really good at times but my personal experience has been up and down. Some of the proffesion are amazing others are nasty ad unintrested.

scmacbt that is very young. My son is 20 was 18.5 when his gf got pg and was very scared etc. They are still together(yes ok i am a granny!!!!)and baby is now nearly one but he is a great father and adores the baby but still goes out to ride his motor bike or hang out with his mates which his gf gets annoyed about but she in turn goes clubbing sat whilst he has baby. What is my point? Well he may come round with time. It sounds as if he still cares or wouldnt text you at all. Let him come around slowly and dont put any pressure on him. Is he a good bloke in other ways?In the meantime my way of coping was to party but you cant really do that when pg so you will just have to keep busy with ds and planning for baby.Have you got good girlfriends? get them round for non alcoholic bevs and pizza. I love dh but am fully prepared for another idiot haha have own bank acc and savings and kept house in my name. Cynical some may think but twicw bitten and all that. I am a very savvy old bird now...although i must admit the thought of bringing up yet another dc alone fills me with dread.
pdr ooo suffer from utis myself most of my life was in hospital with one last yr. I know they say drink plenty but i find this helps...drink gallons and fill up your bladder really full...i know it hurts but ressit the temptation to keep going and allow your bladder to fill up. Leav as long as you can (within reason)few mins and then wee.....i dont know why but this has always worked for me it seems to break the cycle. Ibruprofen help too but dont think we mwnat to take them are we.

On nasty professionals,i have had a fair bit of nastyness/debate/negativity/mockingness re having a private nt scan in London. Has anyone else met this. I have become very assertive and told the last mw "well that is what we are doing so.."
Also my friend who has previously mc at 22 weeks bled in the latest pg at 17 weeks when she rang the mw she asked her what she expected her to do. And when i had dd 8 i had a nasty breast feeding obsessed mw snapping at me that "plenty of ladies manage to breast feed after breat cancer"..I had had a total mastectomy AT 27 could have doen without her nasty mouth tbh.rant rant rant

Great news today Ledkr, know you are worried about Wed, but today is another hurdle passed!! Still feeling very poorly although as a plus think today is the first day in five weeks where I haven't actually thrown up. I agree with being assertive with m/w with first 2 dd I was a bit wussy but I did what I wanted eventually, whereas this time I don't have the time/patience to nod and say maybe!! A "nasty breast feeding obsessed m/w" - never heard that before

Thanks wriggles i am just keen to get wed over now and feel fairly positive about it.
In Chelt hosp they have a breast is best policy which is fine but i watched many young mum bullied into b feeding and this affected their bonding with the baby i felt. I am not an ant b feeder i fed all 3 of my bopys until they were well over a year. My sister is a scbu nurse and they call the mw "the nipple natzis"you cannot repeatedly put a baby to a sore empty breast all day and night it ridiculous.I saw babies become jaundiced thru lack of fluids. With one of mine i decided not to b feed until the third day as i had previously been severly engorged and had mastitis. I was supported to do this and it worked i made enough but not a ridiculous amount of milk.
Must say the good thing about matectomy is a/ reconstructed Jordan boobs and b/one less pregnancy/birth thing to worry about haha

ledkr he is a really good guy and has been very good to me in the last year i have known him. Has majorly built my confidence up after ex destroyed it. I dont put pressure on generally i keep my side of contacting him to a minimum as not to freak him out. Keep him informed of hospital visits etc incase he wants to come. Deep down would love him to stick around as we do have a great relationship and i know he is just scared. Have lots of lovely girl friends but most are busy with own lives etc and hate to bother them. Spending time with Ds is keeping me going as he is such an affectionate mummys boy.

In regards to keeping everything in your name i don't think its cynical its just a step you have taken to safeguard your life for you and your dc's. You sound like you have done very well for them and you should be very proud

I live in Oregon in the US ledkr and it's around 35 degrees this weekend. I did have sunscreen on but ds was doing so well in the pool, I didn't want to go! Paying for that now.

Regards the NHS: I have to pay $25 every time I go to the doctors for anything except the well woman test. Apparently our insurance is quite good in that they will pay 100% of the Obstetrician costs, but the hospital is a different matter and they will only pay 90% of those costs. Same with scans: I have to pay $25 for the scan, then the same for the radiologist who gives it a quick once over, then the same for the blood tests and they only pay the rest because I have already met the $500 I need to pay out of pocket this year! I had my first two dcs on the NHS and this one is costing me a fortune! They do need to sort out the postcode lottery though, that isn't fair.

I agree ScMacBt, casual friendly contact seems like a good idea and he might come round. I hope so, for your sake!

Ledkr, I was worried as I had changed GPs, hospitals etc since having last 2 dd. In NIreland we have very low bf pick up rates so it is very much breast is best, but I have to say I was very pleasantly surprised by the 2 midwives at my booking appt last week - "there are 2 ways to feed your baby and you will be supported in which ever you choose - that is our policy" I am not anti bf either the thing that really annoys me is being pressured into discussing it at your 10 week booking appt when you haven't even had a scan yet!! I have a scan at 13 weeks and I'm still petrified that nothing at all will be there!!

tadjennyp god thats a lot of money for a baby, considering they are expensive just to begin with, if i lived i the Us i doubt id be able to afford scans etc Always though the Us would have had a better health system.

Thanks aswell i'm hoping he see's that im not pressuring him and that he is lucky i'm the one he has gotten pregnant as i doubt many others would be as nice and sympathetic considering iv had a horrific time with ms until the past week.

It's all very well saying breast is best but it's hard trying to get to speak to a BF expert. I've been trying to volunteer for peer supporter training for a year and I still haven't heard anything . The NHS is dreaming if it thinks saying 'breast is best' is going to magically increase BF rates without actually providing proper support for women that are having problems.

Wriggles ... I was the same and seems many others too. think its a common worry. you will feel great when its over.
Stmacb...is he angry with u for getting pg or for not getting rid. Do you think he will come to scan? might move him a bit. my ds loves his gf madly but really didn't want a baby and feels guilty re this as baby is here now and he loves him.
Bf prob thinks its all doom n gloom and no money etc and life over. what a pity for you all. Just remember, if he doesn't change then you can just make a nice life for you all. It is possible and you can't beat the relationship between lone parent and dc.
I have a tummy ache tonight wonder if its from my curry

I just spent nearly the last two hours in bed (mid-afternoon here) as I am shattered. Dh and I have been together 10 years today and we are leaving the kids with friends for a couple of hours this evening to go out on our own. I was hoping I'd feel better as we hardly ever get to go out. Typical us, we haven't decided what we want to do yet!

Are you finding you are 'going' normally ledkr? I am feeling permanently bloated and like I need to go (sorry if that's tmi). Would love to find second trimester's energy somewhere!

He wants me to get rid, i was told last year kids probably wouldnt happen for me again due to endometriosis, and have been on pill since i had ds 6 years ago. So he feels a bit put out that im now pregnant when he supported me through everything last year and me getting upset, also said that had he thought id have gotten pregnant he wouldnt have taken "the risks" he did. Asked him to come to scan which was Thurs but he was going on holiday in afternoon and that was more important. Next scan is the day he gets back and i know he is back in plenty of time to come but doubt he will. Iv explained that his life wont change much he would still live the life he does at the moment.

Your ds should never feel guilty its natural to wonder whether a baby is the right thing especially so young. I did very briefly consider not having baby to keep him happy and felt so scared after it that if i lost baby it would be my own fault sort of thing.

Ha ha love the way pregnant women discuss everything. been going ok recently but yes windy and bloated thought it maybe my ibs am better if avoid fizzy drinks but am addicted to diet coke at the moment! Caffeine free of course.
Hope you have a lovely night. we might have night out when tests all finished. I intnd to have a celebratory glass of wine too.