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Original poster

would you call your child by your niece's middle name?

168 replies

amber5 · 29/03/2006 22:42

We were going to call our dd by a name which really suited her, but is my brother's dd's middle name. We're not particularly close and don't have the same friends, and we really didn't think it would matter.
After we'd called her this name for a week and really got used to it, my brother sent a text message to me asking us not to. We changed it to another name, but i'm not sure it suits her as much. I haven't seen or spoken to my brother since (dd is 9 weeks old)
What would you have done?

OP posts:
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EvesMama · 30/03/2006 08:42

ooh, get me and my bold textShockWink

Kathy1972 · 30/03/2006 08:57

Agree with the Mumsnet jury, amber - none of his business, it's entirely up to you!

pooka · 30/03/2006 09:00

Imagine how you'll feel if you never think your dd's name is right for her. He doesn't own the name for goodness sake. Maybe different if it was your niece's first name but in this case I'd call your dd what suits HER.

CatBert · 30/03/2006 09:04

They should be flattered.

Are you going to change it back?!

calebsmummy · 30/03/2006 09:41

My Ds2 is called Caleb (if you hadn't guessed Grin) and one of my twin nephews is called Lucas Caleb. We love the name Caleb and spoke to my sister before having the baby as we just felt we should ask if she would be upset if we used the name. Of course she wasn't upset at all and quite rightly said 'It's just his middle name, we don't use it' She was honoured that we chose the name. So Ds is Caleb and Lucas is thrilled that his cousin has the same name as his middle name. We don't even think about it, Lucas is Lucas, and Caleb is Caleb.

I would call your little girl by the name you originally chose, it's obviously the right name for her and eventually no-one will think anything of it being her cousins middle name.

LIZS · 30/03/2006 09:44

SIL did this with her son - used ds' middle name, if abbreviated. I was miffed for a while but got over it , he will too !

Original poster
amber5 · 30/03/2006 10:10

so, said to my mum this morning that we were thinking of changing her name back. Floods of tears from mum. She said brother had said to her that they felt i was deliberately stealing their dd's identity because i am jealous of them. brother never said any of this to me.
I realise i should talk to my brother, but tbh, he bullied me as a child and i feel he is bullying me now and i just don't have the strength of character to confront him. i know that if we argue, i will just cry and give in anyway. i don't ever want to see him again. am i being pathetic? Sad Sad Sad

OP posts:
lockets · 30/03/2006 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountessDracula · 30/03/2006 10:13

oh fgs tell your mum to grow up and stop being so pathetic

It is up to YOU and no-one else what you call your child!

Original poster
amber5 · 30/03/2006 10:14

It's emma - in the top 20 girls names for last 5 years as far as i know.

OP posts:
MamaG · 30/03/2006 10:15

I agree you're not being pathetic at all. You should give your DD whatever name you want. She will be the one you are with every day, not your brother - if he wants to fall out over this, then its his loss. I can see that you might want to keep the peace but to be honest, I think your brother is being a knob. sorry, but I do.

If you dd is 9 weeks old, you are in no state to be getting into confrontation with him, he didn't have the courtesy to speak to you, so just text him and do what makes you happy. You will be calling your dd by her name for many years and you MUST be happy with it.

xxx

Original poster
amber5 · 30/03/2006 10:15

i know i should call her emma, but at what price? do i really want to alienate my family over this, cos this is what will happen. as i said i really don't care about never seeing my bro, but do i really want to loose my parents over a name?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 30/03/2006 10:16

Oh amber they are being completely ott and ridiculous and need to come to their senses..poor you for being made mierable like this. Please ignore them both over this.

CountessDracula · 30/03/2006 10:17

NO it is not you who is causing this silliness but them. They will come round

Or call her something similar like Emily and just call her Emma yourself

Original poster
amber5 · 30/03/2006 10:17

i'm not sure whether the unsure feelings i'm having about her name are more linked to the emotional response from seeing my bro yesterday (passed him in the car and i didn't stop)

OP posts:
MamaG · 30/03/2006 10:17

Do you really think you would lose your parents over this? I'd be very surprised if they were so petty as to cut you and your DD out of their lives over a name. Emma's a lovely name and you should keep it.

CountessDracula · 30/03/2006 10:17

THEY are doing the alienating

SoupDragon · 30/03/2006 10:17

Use it. Definitely. It's only your neice's middle name as others have said.

Tell your brother to grow up, not just your mum.

LIZS · 30/03/2006 10:17

if it is such a popular name they cannot claim exclsuivity surely ? How many people will remember their dd's middle name anyway.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 30/03/2006 10:18

Tell him to go forth and multiply.

The bullying has to stop some time, and today is a perfect opportunity.

Don't think much of your Mum TBH.

katzg · 30/03/2006 10:18

tell him to grow up - Emma is a very popular name and it is suits your dd go for it,

tiredemma · 30/03/2006 10:19

I would tell brother to sod off and grow up, I am from a massive family, i have lots of girl cousins with the names joanne, clare, sarah and loads of boys called lee , andrew, mark. ( well not lots but two of each!)

i would most certainly change the name back to emma now, especially as he has acted like such an arse about it.

fab name by the way!!!

Original poster
amber5 · 30/03/2006 10:19

if i'm being honest, there's no way i'm going to change her name, because i am such a push over. i think i hoped someone would say ' you're being unreasonable taking her name and you shouldn't do it'. but then you're are being so nice and i'm just sat here crying. and my baby is so beautiful and perfect nad i'm stupid cos i've got nothing to cry about....

OP posts:
katzg · 30/03/2006 10:20

what name did you change it to?

tiredemma · 30/03/2006 10:20

what is her new name now??

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