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Original poster

to find it really sad when people wish their DC away

206 replies

shakeshakeit · 04/09/2009 14:34

With people literally counting every hour until they go back to school and they don't have to deal with them anymore. I find that really sad to read, yes children fight and are hard work but surely you knew that when you had them? Do people not enjoy spending time with the children and being able to do what they want rather than stuck in a rota every day? Some people can't have children, some people have lost children - do these individials give a moments though about others feelings when they plaster all over their facebook "kids are a nightmare, cant wait until they are back in school" etc every day of the holidays moan moan about the children. Are people not AWARE of what children are like when they got pregnant? And if not then if they are such a nightmare aparently then why after one have more - and in the case of my facebook example have 5. I have friends who have had IVF and adopted - they appreciate time with their children much more, perhaps because they realise what its like to be blessed to have children, even if they are bloody hard work - its part of the package.

OP posts:
Jujubean77 · 04/09/2009 18:50

OMDB your post is sick. It reads like you were aware the OP had lost her child.

2shoes · 04/09/2009 18:55

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/09/2009 18:56

YABU
and smug
and intolerant
and ridiculous
3 children at home every day for six weeks is fucking hard work, especially when you are used to having at least one-two of them at school. People are entitled to find their kids hard work and want a break - it doesn't mean they don't cherish them And the 'some people can't have children so you should treasure every moment' is just nonsense.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/09/2009 18:59

Ok just read your post about your child. Terribly sorry for your loss. But coming on here is not the right way to exorcise your demons or work through your feelings. Especially AIBU.
I feel bad that I may have hurt your feelings with my first post but YABU to have posted here, and without giving the full story.

Ripeberry · 04/09/2009 18:59

Over the years there are lots of posts such as the OP. They are ALWAYS first time mothers with children under 2yrs old.
They will learn in time

piscesmoon · 04/09/2009 19:03

I think that it takes a village to raise a child, it is hard work and everyone needs time to themselves. You can't generalise, and a lot of moaning is just letting off steam-people don't really mean it.

junglist1 · 04/09/2009 19:05

a lot of people are just reading the OP, as I sometimes do. It's not intentional, if you get upset hide the thread

Satsuma1 · 04/09/2009 19:07

We tried to conceive for 8 years and eventually were lucky when IVF was successful and now have a wonderful 18 month DS.

Before I had DS and was so desperate for a baby, I must admit I would have agreed with the OP. However, although I am grateful for DS every day and frequently think how lucky I am to finally have him, I do get extremely tired (and I only have 1!) and am very glad when DH gives me a break and I have some time to myself.

PielightIsMyNewLove · 04/09/2009 19:11

No jujubean, OMDB x posted at the reveal, look at the times of posting if you like

Not sick, up til that point she only had the OP to go on

Wind yer neck in

2shoes · 04/09/2009 19:16

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bibbitybobbityhat · 04/09/2009 19:18

Op - if you are still here - I would ask for this thread to be deleted. It is making people feel bad and causing arguments between posters.

lockets · 04/09/2009 19:31

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CloudDragon · 04/09/2009 19:35

OP hope you are OK today.

I understand why you posted here.

Sometimes you don't want to get support sometimes you want to shout at people to wake up a bit and realise how lucky they are. Even when you know it is impossible for them to see.

shabbapinkfrog · 04/09/2009 19:50

If you dont already come onto the bereaved mums thread please do...loads of support there and everybody understands and helps each other.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/816252-Gareth-and-Matthews-thread-for-bereaved-Mummies-the-special- thread

You sound as though you are struggling at the moment. I lost two sons - one of them was a twin - whenever I saw twins having school photo's done I would want to 'rip someones head off' because I was so envious of them.

Because Im a bereaved mum I understood your post but, thankfully for them, other people cant understand the strength of our emotions.

Take care and come and have a gab on our thread xxxx

Podrick · 04/09/2009 20:10

I adore the school hols and always find it sAd when parents say they can't wait for them to end, I think it is mostly Sahms who feel this way?

cornflowers · 04/09/2009 20:16

I've got a couple of friends who conceived their children via IVF and they moan certainly about their DC as much as anyone else

hazeyjane · 04/09/2009 20:24

It took a long time to conceive dd1, and I admit that I sometimes used to feel this way. I found it very hard to hear people moan about their children, and I knew it was irrational, and now I have 2 lo's, I find myself moaning about them and then remind myself of everything dh and I went through to have them.

Sadly I think a lot of people are just reading your original post, and their responses are coming across very badly. It might be good if this thread were deleted, to stop any further confusion.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain.

Deemented · 04/09/2009 23:05

Even though the OP's child has died she will never stop being her mother. She will be that even when she's a wizend old lady of 96. Not a day will go by when she won't think of her child, won't wish things had been different, won't physically ache to hold that child again. You know it's funny... if you loose a spouse, then you are a widow/widower... if both your parents die then you are an orphan. But there is no word to describe a parent that has lost a child... that's how bad the loss is... indescribable.

OP - i know. Sending you much love, and hoping you find some peace.

shabbapinkfrog · 05/09/2009 00:05

Well said Dee.....it seems that in the blink of an eye, when you loose a child, your hopes, dreams, smiles, fun, love, all disappear and feel like they will never, ever return.

Well said my friend!

athomeagain · 05/09/2009 00:25

I am so sorry shakeit i lost one to and i am thinking about what you are going through it is extra hard when all you her is about the holidays and going back to school.

athomeagain · 05/09/2009 00:31

I am so sorry just realised I said lost it that is because I had a miscarriage ( and that was the term people where always using then)that is not in comparison with your child.

shockers · 05/09/2009 00:36

I'm sorry but both children and parents benefit from routine.... children especially!
We don't depise them... we enjoy time off with them but 6 weeks is a long time and we end up craving normality.
I wish I was more bohemien but I'm not... still love my kids though!!

shockers · 05/09/2009 00:40

I'm sorry... I didn't read the last few posts... i feel desperately sorry for your loss.

athomeagain · 05/09/2009 00:47

I have just read the whole thread and am finding it hard to imagime what is going on in your thoughts right now,but we are with you keep strong

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 05/09/2009 07:43

I can't believe people's attitudes on this thread.

Yes, it probably would have been wise to say she had lost a child in the OP and it probably would have been a good idea NOT to post in AIBU, however I imagine they were the last things going through her head at the moment.

The clincher has to be:

" Op - if you are still here - I would ask for this thread to be deleted. It is making people feel bad and causing arguments between posters."

It is making other people feel bad? Jeez, have some compassion. You think others are feeling bad? How on earth do you think the OP feels? What sort of place do you think she's in to want to deliberately pick an arguement about this?

If you are still there OP, please follow the link Shabba has posted and come and have a chat xxx