My daughter took her own life

[bereftmother]

The subject says it all, really. About six weeks ago my lovely, clever, witty daughter walked out of our house, leaving a note. Four days later the police found her body. And now, I just want to cry and scream and throw things. We have no Christmas plans, there is nothing to celebrate. When the post comes we don't know if the cards will be condolences or for Christmas.
We knew she was depressed. We just didn't know the depths of her despair.

Sending a hug x

@bereftmother i wanted to see how you were doing. I recently lost my sister to suicide. She was 31, had broken up from her partner and believed that she’d never get married or have children, couldn’t afford her bills as a single person. I’m still every day feeling like I’m not fully in the world anymore, just walking outside my own life.

@DarlingYou Thank you for asking. I have bad days, not so bad days and the occasional good day. I don't cry everyday any longer, although the anniversaries don't get any easier. And other people don't really want to talk about her anymore, which is hard.
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I recognise that feeling of unreality, walking outside your own life. The shock, and grief, and all the unanswered questions. When you are ready, I would suggest some counselling. Understanding about how grief works and how to come to terms with it is something you might find useful.
There is also a charity Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide - Overcoming the isolation of people bereaved by suicide which I have found helpful. Take your time, take care of yourself. So sorry you have joined this club.

Oh I feel your pain. Ds died by suicide 16 months ago completout of the blue. We havent even had the inquest yet...it has just been adjourned for the 4th time and will probably not be for another 3 months.
I have just compartmentalised it and am getting on with bringing as much joy into my life as I can.
Sending so much love to you...it is the worst thing a parent can experience. X

I volunteer with the SOBS charity - it enables people to talk about their loss even 20-30 years later. I see the grief as knocking you to the floor, some days you curl up, some you can stand, some you can walk. 💐

@Nomedshere So sorry to hear about your ds. You are right, the worst thing for us as parents. Even after three years the pain of that loss feels physical to me at times. Keep looking for that joy in your life, it's a bit more fleeting but I find it sometimes...
@pompomdaisy Thank you for what you do at SOBS - I don't know how you manage to do it, but I have called several times and always felt helped.