Support For Anyone Coping With The Loss Of A Parent

[Mummylin]

Here we are on a new thread for a new year.
Hopefully we can bring some comfort to those who are mourning their Mum / Dad.

Thank you for the kind words and it does help knowing you are not alone in your feelings and other people get where you are coming from.
Latte (sorry don’t know how to bold) I find it hard supporting the grieving parent too especially if they don’t really want to talk about it. Don’t know if you live nearby but we make sure we include dad in day to day life just popping in have a cup of tea or make an excuse to drop bits of shopping in etc. We also have a whats app group just to share blether about the weather or daily chit chat. Depending on age and mobility perhaps an older pet from a shelter or something? Could give focus to the day.

Add my mum to the queue in the opticians! Her optician actually came to the removal as it is a family opticians and mum has been their customer for 40+ years. I thought it was lovely of her to make time to be there.

I do find it tricky to support my dad as he doesn't really talk about his feelings. He is in Ireland so I can't be there for him day to day but most of his siblings live near him and they pop in and out, as so some of mums siblings and his own friends/neighbours. He has a dog who is a godsend. He obviously can't talk to my dad but he is still company and a reason to get out of bed every day and get some fresh air. An older rescue dog/cat could be a good idea.

Och the optician will be having a booming business 😂having a really bad day today started on my mum's flat and was holding it together reasonably well then saw her jackets with her hankie in her pockets my mum would never go anywhere with out a hankie close at hand and well that floored me so have been hellish since then ,I just miss her and the pain is hellish ,you feel so alone but this support give me comfort

Sorting my mas clothes and bags there was a hanky in all of them and small polo packet ( just two or three never a full packet) in every single thing. I suppose we will all follow suit in some way. Know how your feel spider.
Btw I hope the optician queue will let my ma sneak off for a fag every now and then and keep her spot for her. Sure everyone will. Seems a lovely bunch.

Foxy not spider

Cherry hownlovelynyour dad has a dog and I confessed I laughed at the dog ‘not talking to him’. Truth is non verbal love and support is perhaps more meaningful when pain is deep. Hugs to you and your dad.

I lost my Dad in Nov '15, my mum in May '16 and my sister a week before Christmas '17.
I've just left a 21yr marriage (DV, EA & SA) miscarried single & twin pregnancies due to DV.

Buried all the grief.
Having mental health issues, I just take it day to day now.
I'll be ok, I've got this far.

Sending love to everyone who has lost someone x

Oh imthedamnedfool that is all really tough. Well done you and respect from me for getting through and keeping going. Proper hugs to you.

HeronLanyon
Thank you, appreciate that :)

Hugs

imthedamnfool
Holy shit, That is too much for one person to deal with! . Kudos to you for even being able to take one day at a time. If I had a hat I'd take it off to you🎩🌹

MyGuideJools

Thank you, after keeping it all to myself all these years it feels weirdly liberating just to type those few lines and put it 'out there' 🌹

imthedamnfool
I found this thread so helpful in the last year or 2. Just to vent or put your thoughts down on 'paper'
stay with us, there's lots of support here

MyGuideJools

Thanks, I'm a newbie here and I'm sure it's all going to help with the grief process 💐

imthedamnfool That is too much to be dealing with. I'm in awe of you for coming through it all, but so sorry you've had to.

The hankies in the pockets - my mum was the same. She had umpteen handbags, and there was always a neatly folded carrier bag, a tissue and a couple of Murray Mints in the bottom of every one. My dad was Polos and hazelnuts.

The pain of a losing a loved one is hellish whether recent or not,this thread is great as it let's me off load rather than to people in RL ?don't get me wrong I have great support but sometimes you just don't have the energy to keep talking if that makes sense? We are all just doing out best to get through the days and if we can help each other in any way ,that's sometimes what we all need 🌸🌹

Been thinking of you all and wondering how everyone is? Its hard to keep up with the thread, i feel a bit of an imposter sometimes since my loss is nowhere near recent now, some days you just feel it more than other days i guess,

sending you all the energy you need to get through

sm your loss is just as valid as anyone else's.
It is such a painful thing isn't it and I think for some of us, the longer away the loss it feels similar tonwhen it first happens.
I remember the days when you and I were both suffering our losses and all the posters we used to chat to.
You are in a good position to help others as you are a few years past it now, but it dosent end there does it. I can recall the subsequent problems you encountered after your dear mums death.
So although the death may be a while ago , several things were changed for you after that. And so things can rumble on for a long time afterwards.💐
To all the new posters, I hope you are gaining some help From this thread, I found it helped such a lot to be able to chat with people with the same worries etc. 💐

Registered my mums death today 8 weeks on. Got caught out when realised she or my dad would have been somewhere similar registering my and my siblings births and their own parents deaths, and their parents before them. A few tears during what was otherwise surprisingly ok appointment.

Life is really so short isn’t it ?? Gotta get more fit and make the most of what is left for me. My ma died of ‘old age’ after lots of histology tests etc. She simply died from old age. Was a comfort. Hope I do too.

Hugs all particularly for those whose loved ones deaths were not so easy for them and their loved one.
How do we stumble around when younger oblivious to all of this to come ?? Just as well I suppose.

((( Heron ))) Registering is hard - makes it more official somehow when you have the certificate in black and white.

I lost my mother this morning. She had Parkinson's. I've been expecting today for a long time, but just feel very empty. I miss seeing her so much. Her suffering is now over. I feel numb.

I clean forgot to send my mum’s glasses with her. They’re still in her handbag with her purse and other bits & pieces. Wish I’d have thought of the sweets too. She did love a sherbet lemon, despite complaining they were too sharp! I did send her with a load of daffodils, which she loved & a rather ‘individual’ choice of music so hopefully she’s forgiven me.

& hugs to all

All our poor loved ones will be walking around squinting and bumping into things without their glasses 😂noddy expected or not still extremely painful ,you will feel numb ,even nearly 4 weeks on since my mum passed I still feel that as well ,nothing really prepares you ,hugs 💐so started process with the banks today or tried too,only to be told I need a probate? Can anyone explain what they are or had any experience ?thanks

Noddy so sorry for your loss. However much we 'expect' the death of a parent, it is still a huge shock to the system when it actually happens. Of course you are numb. I remember finding it unfathomable that I wouldn't see my dad again, still do some times.
It's very early days, be kind to yourself 🌹

Oh Noddy - so very sorry. Even when it's expected, it takes a while to sink in.