Our special thread where we can be who we are. A thread to remember our children who are no longer physically here. Our 'safe haven.'

[LilyTheSavage]

This is it. Here we are. Thank you to Shabbs for noticing how far down the last thread we got.

Remembering all our precious children. Sending love to you all. This is just so wrong. I could howl to the moon tonight.

Putting the mask on today and gluing it in place. Feel like I want to curl up in a ball and just be alone but have a commitment I need to go to. I'm hanging out for Sunday when I'll be turning the phone off and locking the gate and doors. It's time for some "me" time at home without interruptions.

Hope you are all managing.

Happy Mother's Day everybody, I fucking hate Mother's Day.....am taking the boys to the ice cream parlour this afternoon, I plan on eatting a lot!

Happy Mother's Day to you all. We have a different one here. It sure is a shitty day Cathpip. It always reminds me of all the hand made things I didn't get from DD.

Pippa only got the chance to make me one Mother's Day card at nursery, it's sat on my dressing table and has been there ever since she died.....the boys have clearly had fun decorating a trinket box for me in Pots To Go!

Ice cream is a good plan cath. Your trinket box will be very precious. I have got lots of old cards from Paddy and my other two DSs which I keep safely.

I have invited two girlfriends to lunch who are on their own and I have another friend staying with me. Chocolate tart and roast butternut squash risotto is my planned distraction today (oh and lots of pink fizz). I know that I am calmer if I keep really busy. My lovely oldest son has sent flowers from all three of them and that just made me dissolve. Tomorrow is Paddy's birthday and I feel fairly fragile. It wouldn't take much to tip me right off my perch. Hanging on tightly with the mask in place.

Sending love to you all and wishes for a peaceful day.

Put the mask down if you need to lily. Some days it's just too hard to wear or carry.

To all of you I hope you made it through another day that brings too many thoughts flooding in.

ds3 and ds4 had Tae Kwon Do grading on Mother's Day which was a bit of a distraction. The boys were lovely and I would hate for them to think they're not enough so I go along with it but I so miss Sylvie-Rose.

It has been a little bit -- just wanted to say hello, and I hope everyone has been doing as well as they can.

Hiya Woodviolets, wish we didnt have to be here. xxx

I'm just checking in as wood violets did. Hope you are managing as best you can.

Waving to you all as I pass through on my way back out into the garden.

I haven't posted here for such a long time.
Today Seren would have been 10 . All her classmates are coming to the end of their first year in middle school. Her little sister is now 7, the age she was when she died, her big sisters are nearly teenagers and biggest sister is due to graduate this summer.

Snorris - sending my love, a massive hug and my thoughts on this 'bitter sweet' day. Happy 10th birthday Seren xxxx Will light my candle in honour of your lovely girl. xxxx

Happy birthday Seren. You deserve to be here with your family. X

Happy birthday Seren and hugs to you snorris. Such difficult days. I survived Paddy's birthday last week. Just keep breathing and know that the day will pass. Sending for your darling girl and hugs and for you.

Happy birthday to Seren. Snorris - thinking of you at this time.

Hi shabbs and mojito
Things have been feeling a bit ... adrift ... lately. I don't think I am over my incomprehension of how things like this can happen.

I like what poet Emily Dickenson wrote after a loss:
"It all seems still utterly incomprehensible, impossible to me; my mind utterly fails to grasp the idea. I only know something dreadful has happened and that I have got to go on, with the sky all gone out of my life."

Couldn't agree more wood. I'm struggling massively with everything at the moment, it's all got on top of me and slapping on my happy face and getting on with it is not working at the mo. First time in 9 years that I have actually wanted a cigarette to go with my glass of wine.....

Hi everybody.

Wood - that Emily Dickinson quote is perfect. It just describes the death of a child in exactly the right terms. (For me anyway).

cath - a dear friend (who is also a BP) just described how she was feeling as "just trundling along". Slapping on the happy face mask is exhausting and takes up so much energy that there isn't much left for anything else.

Sending love and strength to you all.

Hello there is a lady on chat who has just had a stillborn. I am bereaved myself, 3 badgers knows me. I am not at this time capable of helping the lady. Would it be possible for someone to pop over to chat and help this poor lady. I am in a state over my Daisy so not able to find the right words
Sorry to intrude

Shiney I lurked on your thread about your beautiful Dd and occasionally I drop in here to check you are ok. So sad to think it is a year. I have no words of comfort, ((hugs)) it just shouldn't be like this.

I hope the unseen thoughts and prayers of mumsnetters helps in a small way.

Shiney

Hugs to you, Shiney
I found the year mark difficult as well -- the distance seems great, and incomprehensible.
Take care of yourself, as much as you can.

Hi cathpip -- putting on a happy face, and even just muddling on, seems to take so much effort.

Hello everyone! I've been following this thread since November when my first born, my little girl was stillborn at 33 weeks. I just wanted to thank everyone here for providing so much comfort and for providing a space where I can remember my daughter when everyone else has forgotten

To all of you today - it's already Easter Sunday for me. Thinking of you all and wishing each and every one of our beautiful children were still here with us to be spoilt with love and chocolates.

I'm having my moment this long weekend. Feeling flat and adrift.

Wood the quote was exactly perfect. It sums everything up.

Take care all of you.