Our special thread where we can be who we are. A thread to remember our children who are no longer physically here. Our 'safe haven.'

[LilyTheSavage]

This is it. Here we are. Thank you to Shabbs for noticing how far down the last thread we got.

Remembering all our precious children. Sending love to you all. This is just so wrong. I could howl to the moon tonight.

We all have those anniversaries in our life that bring joy and happiness and those anniversaries that we just should not have ever experienced. Today is the anniversary of my darling DD's passing. Even though I don't feel as fragile as normal the tears are bubbling under the surface. I keep pushing them to the back so am hoping to find some time tonight where I am on my own and have the ability to just let the emotions flow.

Like all of us on this thread I miss her every single day. Some days appear easier to get through but I'm sure if I dug just a little I would find that each day that goes by is just as hard as the last and just as horrific as the moment I found out she had passed away.

Missing you always my darling DD.

Sending lots of love your way mojito I hope today passes peacefully for you and your boys. Xx

Thinking about you today Mojito - will light my candle tonight to honour your DD on her 'remember day.' xxxxx

Thank you all for your messages. I had a day of indulgence. I find a massage helps to ease all the built up stress so I had that early in the morning and then felt like wallowing in cake so went off to a lovely cake shop and indulged excessively. It's as good as it can be as you all understand.

Happy 5th birthday Pippa. Aubrey is looking forward to blowing out your candles on your cake later, I'm going to eat a very big slice as am training for a half marathon and have 8 miles of running and remembering you to do today. Xxx

To your darling Pippa - happy birthday. To you, take care, be gentle and enjoy the cake.

I'm glad you had a indulgent day, Mojito. Sounds like a good way to deal with a difficult day.

Happy birthday to Pippa. Thinking of you, cathpip

Hi all -- hope everyone has been finding some moments of calm.

It is a rough week here. One year ago today (10th) we rushed my son to the hospital, and he died one year ago the 12th.
I keep picturing him in the hospital bed, and still, a year later, find it inexplicable how everything could happen so quickly.
I often feel I am just living in a bit of fog.

Thank you, Shiney.
I often feel angry as well, but it is odd, as I don't really know where to direct it. Thinking of you and your dc, especially DT1.

Hang in there, Shiney I had to apologise to DS2 yesterday for losing my patience with him.

Shiney - I get what you are going through. My ds2 has suffered incredibly with the loss of my DD. It has created many a meltdown over the years and only now am I starting to just understand all that drives him and his responses.

It's 7 years since my darling girl passed and I don't want time to continue creeping on. It was her birthday last week. 7 years she should have been here living and loving life.

I'm feeling angry at the moment. I don't often feel anger but just now I can feel it bubbling up inside of me.

I usually just lurk but wanted to un-lurk and say hello.

I'm building up to Paddy's birthday and it's tough. Such a roller-coaster still and I feel I should be dealing with it better. His friends have organised that the Old Boys' hockey match is in his memory and they have new shirts with his name and birth date on. I'm glad that they're doing this and even gladder that the date of his death isn't on. We'll have a get-together at his grave then lunch and the hockey. I know it's going to be difficult and emotional but I want them to remember my darling boy. I feel angry and resentful that life just carries on regardless. How can the world keep turning with him there?

Shiney - I haven't messaged you for a while. Sorry. I hope you can find some help and support for DT1. Mojito speaks sense. Waves to cathpip - good luck with your half - my favourite racing distance.

Afternoon girls xx

Lily - how dare the world keep bloody turning when our precious children are no longer here? Makes me fuming mad.......not fair in any way is it? Then I become resigned to the fact all over again. Sending my love to you and to all on this thread xxx

Thanks, Shiney Yes, I too try to remind myself DS2 is dealing with things as well, and he isn't just trying to be awful on purpose. (!)
I'm so sorry about the school situation. I hope you find a school that will be helpful for DT1, and you.
Hugs.

Thinking of you Mojito February is the worst month.

Hi Lily The hockey match sounds like a great way to honor him. Wishing you strength at this time.

Hi shabbs

It IS cruel. There are so many things to miss now.
Thinking of you, and your lovely DD, shiney

My heart and thoughts are with you shiney at this time. Life is all the things you have said and so much more. Shit, horrible, unfair, completely unjust.....

Weekends for me are the times I sit with my coffee and remember not just my DD but all of our children who should still be here. I'm raising my coffee cup to you and your DD as I write this. It doesn't help you I know as all that would help is to have her back with you. Just know that you are in my thoughts.

Remembering all the "this-time-last-year" times is so difficult. So cruel. So wrong.

Just knowing that other people feel the same as me and that I'm not going completely mad is a comfort (small comfort but still better than going mad).

Sending love to you Shiney