3littlebadgers oh my lord, that was awful of that friend to do to you! hugs I completely agree that unless someone has suffered a loss like ours they can't see or understand our situation and emotions very well at all.
wood I know how you feel, I haven;t had the energy to cry, but my DD is enjoying the tree at least. i am going to buy a balloon for my DS and send up a candy cane with it for him, but the thought of him not picking out his ornament of the year saddens me along with other things i'm aware he can;t do with us now. but DD deserves a nice holiday and I know we will both try our best, and even if it is the bare minimum it is at least something, and i think that counts immensely hugs
AFM It took me a week to get back to a tolerable emotional state from thanksgiving and I wish I could say it was getting better, but I would rather someone accidentally being insensitive with a show over what I am now facing, that horrible man I mentioned before has been driving a wedge between my husband and I! My husband has enough guilt for feeling responsible for our DS and that man was also there, but this man is an alcoholic and is using my son as another excuse to drink to the point of black outs, drunk texts my husband, calls out of work and completely is dragging my husband down emotionally with this BS!
My DH doesn't want to give up on him, is extremely stubborn about it and has called my reasons for wanting to be away from that man cruel and illogical! Even if we were close friends once that was then and this is now, and this person now is poison and needs to stop draining a grieving family like ours by his suicidal BS, i'm sick of this man! He refuses help by professionals, refuses to get clean when his family has begged him to and close friends as well more than once and he still drinks like this and I want nothing to do with him! The only thing I see is that my DH does not want another death on his hands and wants to do everything he can to save this wretch of a person because he feels he failed our DS and if he fails here then it his his fault, but the way I see it, it is going to happen and i fear for my DH and his already fragile emotional state completely shattering, we have worked so hard to get to a point where we can smile and be okay and this damn bastard is destroying all of that. My DH is scared and such a giving man, but with how emotionally fragile he is and desperate to save this once good friend he is turning into a mess and it is affecting DD and I...I really am at a loss as to what to do, I refuse to leave my DH because he is in need more than ever and that man WILL destroy him and my DH is too good a man for that to happen to. I feel so trapped, if I tell this man off he will certainly go running to my DH and a terrible snow ball effect will erupt and he will off himself sooner i'm sure and cause us more drama, if i tell DH to give up he gets mad and irrationally emotional and he stops listening to me all together, our therapist he won't listen to either, he is THAT determined to save this selfish person. My BIL however has learned of this situation and said he would take care of it, but I'm still so confused and angry that this is even becoming an issue at all and i know i am not being illogical or heartless, this person has got to go and i refuse to help someone who keeps refusing help, i'm done. being in this rocky place is doing it's toll on me, and I can't get pregnant and try again for a sibling for my sammi or caiden if this bastard is around, i'd miscarry for sure. i HATE THIS SO MUCH!